Desire Unchained

Chapter 13

“That was amazing,” Runa murmured against Shade’s shoulder. Drops of water beaded on his skin, and she lapped at them, savoring the cool splash of wetness on her dry tongue. She tasted jungle heat, fresh earth, and powerful male.

He moaned, still leaning on her and pinning her against the wet stone. He held her tight, closer, it seemed, than he ever had. He’d been gentle, caring, his big body shuddering against her. He’d broken her heart a year ago, but she could feel it beginning to heal.

Naturally, Shade couldn’t allow the warm fuzzies to last. He pushed away from her, and without looking her in the eyes, he strode into the cave. And was it her imagination, or did he seem to be transparent in places? She’d seen him turn practically invisible in a shadow … but this seemed different. A side effect of his shift into another species of demon?

She stepped into the waterfall to rinse—how cool was it that he had a natural shower built into his dwelling? — and when she finished, she found him in the kitchen, his hair still wet but dressed in his usual black leather garb.

Including gloves.

His hands shook a little, and tension surrounded him like a blanket. Was he uncomfortable with the closeness they’d shared? Something was up, and he still wouldn’t meet her gaze.

“Are we going somewhere?”

Ignoring her question, he tossed her a bath towel and slid a plate across his dining room table. “Eat.”

Wrapping the towel tight around her, she stared at the ham and cheese sandwich, and though she was starving, the sudden awkwardness between them unsettled her stomach. “I’m not hungry.”

His gaze finally caught hers, and her breath hitched at the sight of the dark shadows in his eyes. “Yes, you are. I can sense it.”

Damn him and his senses. He bit into his own sandwich as though ravenous.

“How come I can’t sense your hunger?” she asked.

“Dunno. Eat.”

Sighing, she sat across from him and watched him chew, watched his throat ripple as he swallowed. That mouth had been on her, and she flushed at the image that was burned into her brain; him, between her legs, his jaw muscles rolling as he’d feasted on her.

“What are you staring at?” he asked. “Do I have something in my teeth, or what?”

She laughed. “No, of course not. I like looking at you. I can’t help it. Is that a crime in demonland?”

“I guess not.”

A cool draft blew through the cave, sending a chill across her wet scalp. She dragged a hand through her tangled hair. She must look like a drowned rat. “Listen, I know this isn’t the ideal situation for either of us, but if you’re right, and this bond is permanent—”

“It is.”

“Okay, then, it seems to me that we need to work some things out.”

He broke a Fresca off the six-pack he’d set on the table and pushed it toward her. “Like what?”

“Like the fact that I don’t plan to spend the rest of my life in this cave. The moon cycle is done. Can we go someplace else now?”

“No.”

“So you expect me to remain your prisoner for the rest of my life?”

Shade gripped his sandwich so hard mayo dripped from between the slices of bread. “Did you forget about Roag? You killed his female. He’ll want revenge.”

“How do you know? You said he’s insane.”

“His insanity only makes him more dangerous. And I know because it’s what I would do if someone killed y—” He threw his sandwich down on his plate, knocking the top off kilter. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

She stared at him. Part of her wanted to kiss him for what he’d said—or almost said—about what he’d do if someone killed her. But the other part wasn’t going to get sidetracked by his all too familiar avoidance.

“Well, too bad.” She tossed down her own sandwich. “I can’t live like this, and I won’t. Did it occur to you that I have a life? A job I’m good at? People who will miss me?”

“Actually, no. It didn’t occur to me.” He laughed bitterly. “Not once in all this time did I think about it. Gods, I’m such an asshole.”

“I won’t argue that,” she muttered.

Angry words fell from Shade’s lips, words in a guttural language she didn’t know, but she got the gist. He was cursing up a storm. Yet he took a break in the middle of it to fix the top slice of bread on his sandwich, lining it up perfectly with the bottom.

“Who were you talking to on the phone?” he asked abruptly.

Whoa. That made her heart skip a beat. “You remember?”

“I might have been half-crazed with the s’genesis, but yeah, it’s all coming back.”

She swallowed dryly and reached for her drink. “What … what did you hear?”

“Enough to know that whoever you were talking to knows about the hospital, and that Kynan is involved.”

She broke out in a cold sweat. She’d never been a good liar, and with the bond, Shade would sense her emotions, might know if she was lying about something big. Maybe she could dole out bits and pieces of truth …

“I was talking to Arik. I told you that he and Kynan know each other.”

“How?”

“What is this? An interrogation?”

“Answer the question.” When she said nothing, he leaned across the table. “The longer you stall, the more suspicious I get, and while I can’t torture you—unless you want to be tortured—I have no problem with stringing up Ky. Now spit it out.”

“Stop bossing me around.”

He swore, and this time she understood his raw curse all too well.

“We just did that, buddy. So maybe you could bust yourself out of this grumpy mood and remember that none of this is my fault. And while you’re at it, maybe you could wash your mouth out with soap.”

Both fists came down on the table with a slam loud enough to startle her, but after a moment, he said quietly, “You’re right.”

As far as apologies went, it was as much as she’d get, and she knew it. “From the Army.”

His dark eyes narrowed. “Is he spying on us?”

“No.”

He nodded as if suddenly everything was coming together. “The job you mentioned … you’re working for the military, aren’t you?”

Busted. “No … I …” The lie tangled her tongue, and Shade wasn’t buying it anyway, so she looked down and whispered, “Yes.”

“What does Kynan have to do with this?” When she said nothing, he sighed. “Help me out here.”

Unsure where to start, and afraid to spill more than what might be strictly necessary, she chose her words carefully. “He was a liaison between The Aegis and the Army. He fell off our radar about the time his wife died. We haven’t heard from him since. No one in The Aegis has been able to put us in touch with him. So I came to New York to find him.”

Obviously, Tayla had known where he was, but she’d kept it from everyone else in The Aegis. Runa had been sent to do more than just locate him. The Army wanted him. Badly. She didn’t know why, and it wasn’t her place to ask. When orders were issued, orders were followed.

He cut her a sharp look. “There’s more. Something you aren’t telling me.”

“No—”

“When you came to my place, it wasn’t because you were pissed at me, was it? You wanted information about Underworld General, didn’t you?”

Runa looked away, caught her reflection in the stainless steel refrigerator door. Guilt stared back at her. “Yes.”

“You hated me so much that you wanted to bring down me and the hospital.” The tone of his voice became gentler. “Not that I blame you.”

How could she deny the truth? “It wasn’t just that,” she muttered, out of some twisted need to make him feel better. “I wasn’t lying when I said I wanted to kill the warg who bit me, and that’s why I went to your apartment.”

“What day was that?”

“Friday. A week before you landed in the dungeon with me.”

He ran his gloved hand over his face. “Shit.”

“What?”

“I’ll bet Roag was trying to nab Wraith. He was supposed to meet me at my apartment that night, but we canceled at the last minute because I needed to come here—”

“With a female,” she finished, the bitterness in her voice surprising even her.

He averted his gaze. His shoulders slumped a little, and she actually felt sorry for him. He might be putting up an I-don’t-give-a-shit front, but she wasn’t believing it anymore.

“Okay,” she began, her voice softer than before, “so how would Roag have known that Wraith would be at your place?”

“Solice knew. She was a nurse at the hospital. She’s the one who, ah, tortured me in the dungeon.”

“Oh. Well, obviously she didn’t know about the change in plans that night, and I got taken instead of you and Wraith.”

“Fu—ah, hell’s bells.” He shook his head. “I’m so sorry, Runa.” She didn’t have time to be stunned, or to soften up, because he immediately danced away from his apology. “Tell me how involved you are with the military.”

As much as she hated talking about this, in a way it felt good to get this huge secret out in the open. Maybe now Shade would understand her need to get back to the real world. “I’m a paid volunteer. They helped me out after the attack.”

“Helped you, how?”

“Arik took me to the base, and they tried to cure me of the lycanthropy.” She took a deep breath and told him the rest. “The treatments were experimental, and a couple of months after starting them, I gained the ability to shift at will.”

“So you think the experiments are responsible for that?” When she nodded, he shook his head. “You should have told me. Eidolon would know better what to look for.”

“I didn’t know what to expect from you. Or your brothers. I might be a werewolf, but I’m still human, and I can’t betray my own people by spilling secrets about the American military. Think about it. If the situation were reversed, what would you do?”

She knew damned good and well he didn’t want to admit she was right, and sure enough, he avoided answering by asking another question.

“What did you tell your brother about the hospital when you called him yesterday?”

“Nothing, I swear.”

Shade crossed his arms over his broad chest. “Do you know what Kynan told the Army?”

“No.”

“What else can you tell me about this military unit that you work for?”

“Shade, please. I can’t talk about this.”

The look he gave her sent the chill she’d felt earlier straight to her bones. “Then Kynan will.”

Shade stalked away from the table, leaving Runa jaw-dropped and furious at his threat.

Which wasn’t really a threat. Dammit, if Ky had any nefarious motives regarding the hospital, if he was secretly working against them …

Fuck.

Well, Runa couldn’t yell at him for thinking the word.

“Oh, no! You don’t get to just walk away from me.”

Runa caught up to him in the living room as he headed for the exit. He needed to get out of this place, needed just a few minutes to compose himself before he did something stupid, like wrap her in his arms and promise her he’d make up for everything Roag had done to her. His stomach growled, reminding him of exactly why he couldn’t do that; already the curse was affecting him. He’d eaten two sandwiches before she came in from the waterfall, and he felt as though he hadn’t taken a bite.

Relentless hunger.

One down, three to go.

“Get dressed, Runa,” he said, without turning around. “We need to head back to the hospital.” The hospital she’d been tasked to spy on. For some reason, the fact that she’d agreed to do it hurt more than it should.

“For more tests, or to torture Kynan?”

“Tests, mostly.” Shade could call E to tell him about Kynan, and to give him a heads-up about the Army experimentation on Runa, but he wanted to be there in person. Now, more than ever, UG was a haven. He might be a demon, but he was also a paramedic, and the desire to save lives was almost as strong as his drive to have sex.

With Runa. His mate.

Fuck.

“Shade?”

“What? I didn’t cuss.” Way to sound guilty, idiot.

“I’m afraid.”

Did she sense that she was in as much danger from him as from Roag? He swiveled around, a knot of dread twisting his gut. She stood there, chin up and shoulders squared, hair all a mass of wild wetness around her shoulders. “Why?”

“Because I have no control over anything. Your crazy brother wants me dead, I’m bonded to you and can’t get out of it, and I couldn’t leave you if I wanted to because I don’t know how to use the Harrowgates.” She swallowed hard enough for him to hear. “You seem to think I should just accept this in stride, and honestly, I’ve tried … but you’re not making it easy. You act like this is all temporary, but at the same time, you say it’s permanent. If it was permanent, wouldn’t you want to get to know me? At least make an effort to make this work? I don’t get it. I really don’t.”

The tremor in her voice at the very end brought all his ideas about not hugging her to a grinding halt. He did want to know her. He wanted to know how she grew up. What her favorite movie was, her favorite food, her dream vacation spot. But how could he tell her that as much as he wanted to know these things, he couldn’t? Every little bit he learned would draw him closer to her, and closer to his doom.

So instead of explaining any of that to her, he reached for her, knowing he was making a huge mistake. She came to him willingly, folded herself against his chest. She felt good like that, her warmth surrounding him, filling him in places that had been empty and cold for so long.

He nuzzled the top of her head, inhaling the exotic, fresh scent of shampoo and jungle water. “I’m sorry I got you into this.”

She tightened her arms around him. “What’s done is done. The past doesn’t matter.”

“Yeah,” he said gruffly. “It does. So much of the past affects the future.”

Her palm slid up his spine in a comforting stroke. “Tell me about yours. Not about the scars Gem was talking about or anything,” she said quickly. “Something nice. Something about your family, maybe?”

He recognized the manipulation for what it was—that need of hers to understand him. But the grief over Skulk’s death was fresh, and talking about his family suddenly seemed like the balm he needed.

“I told you my true sire is a Seminus demon. He’d shifted into an Umber and impregnated my mother. Immediately after, she took an Umber as her mate, and when I was born, they were shocked by not only the single birth, but the human-looking infant with tattoos on his arm. Fortunately, Umbers are good parents. They kept me and went on to have more children.” Runa’s hand kept stroking, coaxing more out of him. “Skulk was the runt of the last litter. Right after that, my Umber father was killed trying to defend our nest from a demon that eats infants.”

“That’s awful,” she said, her hand freezing over his lower back. He wiggled until she got the hint and started rubbing again.

“My mother slaughtered the bastard, but she was devastated over losing her mate. I helped out a lot after that.” He felt Runa smile against his chest. “What? What’s so amusing?”

“I just can’t picture you babysitting a bunch of little girls.”

He twirled a lock of her soft hair around his finger. “I love babies. I’d love to have a cave full—” He cut himself off, because he’d never have that. Not with Runa. Not with anyone.

“Kids,” she breathed. “That’s something I guess we’ll have to talk about eventually, huh?”

“Yeah.” His voice was hoarse and husky, a powerful combination of Seminus instinct that told him to impregnate her now, and common sense, which screamed at him to run far and run fast.

Common sense won. Barely. “Come on. We need to get to the hospital.”

Gem couldn’t wait to get off work. After last night’s disaster with Kynan, she couldn’t bear to see him when he came on shift in an hour.

God, she was so pathetic, lusting after a man who didn’t want her except when he was drunk. Worse, even after what had happened last night, she knew that if he walked into the ER right now and crooked his finger at her, she’d fall at his feet like a neglected dog, willing to take whatever scraps its master was willing to give.

Imbecile.

The ER Harrowgate flashed, and Wraith strode through. In his arms he carried a bloody, red-skinned demon …

Ciska. Oh, God.

Adrenaline kicked her into gear, and she barked out orders to the nearby nurses and techs as she guided Wraith to an empty room. “What happened?”

As Wraith laid Ciska down, she gloved up.

“Dunno,” he said, sounding oddly unconcerned. “Found her like this.”

“Where?”

“Outside the hospital.”

Reaver and nurses joined them, but Gem had a sinking feeling it was too late. The demon had been torn to shreds. Her abdomen lay open, and Gem would be willing to bet that she was missing a few important organs.

Ghouls. Roag.

“Someone page Eidolon. And if Shade is around, get him, too.” Eidolon could repair damaged tissue, but Shade could affect how the patient’s organs functioned, could keep a patient breathing and pumping blood far better than any machine could.

“No breath sounds, left side,” one of the male nurses, a vampire, said.

“Tube her,” Gem said, and gestured to Reaver. “BP and pulse?”

“One sec,” he replied.

Hot breath fanned against the back of Gem’s neck, and she jumped, startled.

“So, Gem,” Wraith murmured into her ear, “why is it that we’ve never fucked?”

“Because I don’t like you?” And with the way he was behaving while one of their own nurses lay dying, that was true enough at the moment.

His hands came down on her hips, and his teeth scraped her neck. “Leave the nurse. She’s as good as dead. Come with me, and I’ll make you like me.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” She shoved him away. “Are you high again?”

He laughed, shot her a wink, and strode out of the room. Stunned, she stared after him. Wraith was obnoxious, but as vicious as he could be, she’d never known him to be outright cruel. If anything, she’d have expected outrage and a swift promise of retribution for their mutilated staff member.

“Doctor, look at this.”

One of the physician assistants had opened Ciska’s mouth. A cloth had been stuffed inside and—oh, Christ—it had been pinned to her tongue. As gently as she could, Gem pulled it free, experiencing a sudden twist in her gut at the writing on the cloth.

A gift for Wraith. I know what you did.

Wraith lit up a cigarette right in front of Eidolon in the staff break room. Demons didn’t get lung cancer, but E had some leftover human prejudices from his days in human med school, and he hated the smoke. Which was what made lighting up in the hospital so fun.

“Dammit, Wraith,” E growled, but he didn’t say anything else. Disappointing. Wraith seriously felt the need to work off some tension. Shade had called an hour ago to say he was on his way in and wanted to talk to them, and the wait was killing him, partly because he was worried about Shade, and partly because he had a ton of new information to share with his brothers.

Last night after he left Kynan, he’d gone hunting, but not for blood. He’d tracked down Ramses, a senior member of the Seminus Council, and after that, he sought the advice of an elusive, ancient spellcaster who hated him on sight. He’d had to work off her animosity—in bed—for hours. Lucky for him he didn’t wear out easily. And now he was in possession of information that would help both him and Shade.

After that, he’d explored the immediate area around every Harrowgate in Northern Ireland. He’d found nothing, but tonight he was going back to check out the southern part of the island. He would find Roag, and when he did, his brother’s suffering was going to become legend. Something that centuries later, the most evil demons would tell their spawn at bedtime.

The door swung open, crashed against the wall. Shade strode in, chomping on gum, completely encased in black leather, including his hands. He must have come in on his Harley.

And, Wraith noted with jealousy, he sported a new dermoire around his neck. He’d gone through The Change.

“Where’s Runa?” E asked.

“MRI.” Eidolon’s eyebrows shot up, and Shade shook his head. “No, I didn’t leave her with any males. Dr. Shakvhan is handling the tests you wanted done.”

Wraith blew out a stream of smoke. “Is this a bond thing?”

Eidolon nodded. “For some reason, right after bonding, you get a little overprotective.”

Yet another reason Wraith was never, ever going to bond with a female. Nope. He was looking forward to losing himself to the posts’genesis world. He wanted to spend his days with no concerns save one. Screwing his brains out. And if he went stark-raving mad, his brothers would kill him.

“So what’s up? Is it time to get rid of Runa?”

Shade’s gloved hands formed into fists. “Knock it off.”

“Shade?” Eidolon asked softly. “You okay?”

His fists unclenched and clenched again, and Wraith got the distinct impression he was hiding something. “I’m good. I just want to be rid of this damned lycanthropy. Now I know what mutts chained in backyards go through. Did you get anything from the tests?”

“Nothing yet. Be patient.”

“Patient, my ass. I don’t want to go through another full moon.” Shade sank down on the couch. “But I might have something that’ll help. Runa was experimented on by the military. They were trying to cure her, and whatever they did gave her the ability to shift at will.”

Eidolon got that excited look on his face, the way he always did when he was working on a medical mystery. “That explains a lot. Some of her DNA was so abnormal that I was starting to think she had demon somewhere in the family tree. But if experimentation is responsible … you just saved me a lot of time.”

Shade leaned forward and braced his forearms on his knees. “We might have another problem. Our favorite Aegi-turned-doctor.”

“Kynan? What about him?”

“Apparently, her brother and Kynan were both in the Army. Probably a secret division. Runa is involved as well, and she was sent to find Kynan. They know about the hospital, and I think Kynan told them.”

“Fuck.” E glanced at his watch. “He’s on shift now. Wraith and I will have a little chat with him. Did you hear about Ciska?”

Wraith scowled. “What about Ciska?”

“She died right after you brought her in.”

Ciska? Dead? Shock and grief collided with confusion. “What? How?” Wraith had been with her just last night. In his office. On his desk. He was supposed to meet her in the on-call room in an hour.

“What do you mean, how can she be dead?” Eidolon asked. “You saw her. She was mutilated.”

Wraith flicked his cigarette butt into the sink. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You handed her off to Gem. You don’t remember?”

“Do you really think I’d forget something like that?”

E stared at him for a moment, his gaze contemplative, as though he was working out how much to believe. Finally, he shoved his hand into his pocket and pulled something out. “There was a message on her. It’s addressed to you.”

Wraith took the bloody cloth from his brother. I know what you did. The writing sent a chill up his spine.

“Hell’s rings,” Shade growled. “It was Roag who brought her in.”

Wraith’s stomach bottomed out. “Roag was here? In the hospital?”

“That bastard. That fucking bastard!” Eidolon snarled and slammed his fist into a cupboard. For a long time, he stood there, hands braced on the counter, head hung low. Wraith recognized that position, the I’m-going-to-compose-myself-before-I-kill-my-brother stance, except for once, he wasn’t the brother in question. “What does the message mean?” E finally asked, his voice tight with barely contained rage. “What does he know?”

Wraith’s first instinct was to lie, but not to protect himself. The truth would hurt Shade, and he’d already experienced more than enough pain over the last few days. And Eidolon … this might be the last straw for him. Wraith wasn’t stupid—he knew E kept him on staff to keep an eye on him, to keep him out of trouble. But after this, E probably wouldn’t give a shit anymore.

“Wraith?” Shade’s voice was low, soothing. “You need to come clean.”

Eidolon swung around, his expression confirming everything Wraith had been thinking. Already disappointment swirled in his dark eyes. Nothing new, there.

Wraith cleared his throat because some big-ass lump seemed to be stuck in it. Both brothers went taut, as though bracing themselves for whatever he’d done this time.

“What happened at Brimstone was my fault. I tipped off The Aegis because I knew Roag would be there.” He met Shade’s gaze. “I set him up to die.”

Closing his eyes, E shook his head, but it was Shade’s reaction that concerned Wraith the most. Because of him, Roag wanted revenge, and Skulk was dead.

Shade sat there, his expression shuttered.

“Say something,” Wraith said. Begged, really. When Shade remained silent, Wraith took a deep breath, needing to know where his brother’s emotions were, but he got nothing. No scent save that of his female. And sex.

“Dammit, Shade! I’m responsible for the situation with you and Runa. I’m responsible for Skulk’s death. Don’t just sit there!”

But Shade did just that, until Wraith couldn’t stand it anymore. He turned away, propped an arm on the wall above his head and closed his eyes to wait. No matter what they did to him, he wouldn’t fight back this time. He deserved whatever they dealt.

When Shade finally spoke, his voice was as deadly cold as an arctic wind. “I don’t have to ask why. He was out of control. But goddamn you, why didn’t you tell us a long time ago?”

Because I didn’t want you and E to hate me. They were all he had in the entire world. They were the only reason he was still alive.

“Shade might not need to ask why you did it, but I do.” Eidolon’s voice was as hot as Shade’s was icy, which meant E wasn’t even trying to summon his Justice Dealer calm. “Taking Roag down should have been a group decision, and you fucking know it.”

“Right.” Wraith wheeled around. “You would never have agreed. Your precious Roag could do no wrong. Me? I can’t do anything right. But I’ve never done to women what he did.” Wraith shuddered at the memory of the last human female of Roag’s he’d found, the one that put Wraith over the edge, gunning to take down Roag at the next opportunity—which happened to be Brimstone.

“And yet,” Eidolon said, “you’re looking forward to s’genesis, when you could turn into something as evil as Roag. How does that make you better than him?”

The writing on the walls began to pulse as Wraith’s temper blasted through him. But after a glance at Shade, who had closed his eyes and sat quietly, probably thinking about Skulk, Wraith backed down. “The difference,” he murmured, “is that I don’t want the insanity that could come with it.” He pegged E with hard eyes. “Roag did. And if it happens, I’ll expect you to do what’s necessary.”

Shade buried his face in his hands. “Dammit, Wraith. Just … fuck.”

“I know. I really stepped in it this time. But if you’d seen that woman … if you knew—” He broke off and turned away from his brothers once more. He shouldn’t have allowed himself to get pissed. Should have just let them beat the hell out of him. They still could. They still should.

After a long moment, footsteps thudded across the black stone tile. He braced himself for a blow, but it never fell. Instead, arms wrapped around him. Eidolon’s. A heartbeat later, another, heavier weight settled against him.

Shade.

“Brother,” Shade rasped, “it was a stupid thing to do, but you couldn’t have known Roag would survive and come back worse than before. So from now on, no more fighting, no more regrets.”

Eidolon’s voice was as shaky as Shade’s. “Roag is trying to drive a wedge between us. To weaken us.” He pulled back to turn Wraith around. He cupped Shade’s cheek with one hand, and Wraith’s with the other. “From here on out, we stand as one.”

Shade jerked as if he’d been goosed, and his eyes flared gold. “We test that stand as one thing now,” he said, moving swiftly toward the door. “Something’s wrong with Runa.”