Desire Unchained

Chapter 16

Shade had itched to keep Runa at his side while he worked in his office, but she’d been right when she confronted him about his control issues. So although it killed him, he let Runa explore the admin area while he caught up on the paramedic schedule and handled other issues that had come across his desk while he’d been being tortured in Roag’s dungeon. And it was a serious pain in the butt to write with gloves on, but he didn’t dare take them off, and not just because he didn’t want his brothers or Runa to see. He didn’t want to see himself fading away, either. Easier to pretend everything was happy, happy, joy, joy.

“Can I get something to drink from the break room?” Runa called out.

“Go for it. Don’t leave admin.”

“I told you you don’t need to worry about me taking off.”

“Just be careful. Some of our staff members aren’t angels.” That was true enough, but mainly, now that they knew Roag had been ballsy enough to come into the hospital, he didn’t want to take any chances.

He heard her wander off, and when he heard footsteps again, he was too engrossed in his work to think they might belong to anyone but her.

Until Wraith filled the doorway, turmoil rolling off his body. “Take off your gloves.”

Shit. “Screw you.”

“Don’t make me take them off for you.”

Shade’s heart went double-time. Wraith knew. At the very least, he suspected. “Why don’t you tell me what’s gotten up your ass.”

Wraith looked up at the ceiling, and Shade knew this wasn’t going to be good. Then again, with Wraith, it never was. “I meant to tell you this earlier. I went to the Seminus Council. Know what they said when I asked if they knew of any matings to wargs?”

“No idea, but you’re going to tell me, aren’t you?”

Wraith nailed Shade with an uncharacteristically serious stare. “One, Shade. One mating that ended in disaster. The bond was one-sided. Sound familiar? Wargs can’t bond with our species, so when she went into heat, she took another warg as a lifemate, and together they killed the Seminus.”

“I’m not worried about it,” Shade said, though he felt like he was going to hyperventilate.

“Does that mean you’re ready to put her down?”

“Wraith …” Shade’s voice was a low, guttural growl.

“You said you’re going to kill her. It’s time.”

Shade launched out of his chair and took his brother to the ground. Wraith’s fist tunneled into Shade’s side, sending white-hot bursts of agony through his midsection. Anger gave him the willpower to get through it, and fists flew, the sound of leather on skin as satisfying as anything. One of Wraith’s blows caught him in the mouth hard enough to make him see stars and taste blood. Shade slashed downward with his elbow, catching Wraith in the throat, and that fast, Wraith was done playing.

In an instant, Shade was flying backward. The desk broke his launch, and nearly his spine as well. Wraith struck with his foot, connecting with Shade’s thigh. Pain and fury shot through him in a haze of red, though somewhere inside he knew Wraith was pulling his punches, because he could have easily broken Shade’s leg.

Shade rolled, closed his fist around Wraith’s ankle and dragged him toward him. Wraith’s knuckles filled Shade’s vision, and he turned just in time to avoid a solid blow to the nose. Still, his brother’s punch crunched into his cheek, and a whole lot of ache sheared through his face. Roaring with rage, Shade dove on top of Wraith and jammed a knee into his gut. Wraith grunted, a major victory, since his brother usually suffered pain in silence.

Hands gripped his shoulders and wrenched him off his brother. Wraith rolled away, his eyes as gold as Shade’s own must be, his fangs extended.

“Knock it off!” Eidolon roared, stepping between them. Shade ignored E and lunged for Wraith, but E caught him around the waist and slammed him back into the wall. “You need to check up, brother.” Eidolon snarled, a vicious, nasty sound. “What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking I’d rip Wraith’s head off!”

Eidolon shoved him again. “Beating on Wraith isn’t helping anything.” Shade wasn’t listening. He wanted a piece of Wraith.

Wraith moved in close. “Ask him why he won’t take his gloves off, E.”

The taste of blood filled Shade’s mouth. “Shut the fuck up!” he snapped, still glaring at Wraith, who glared right back.

Eidolon released Shade. “What’s this about?”

“I was just heading to Ireland to hunt for Roag when Luc stopped me.” Wraith didn’t take his eyes off Shade as he spoke to E. “Said he’d seen Shade fading out. That’s why I came here. To talk some fucking sense into Shade.”

“Yeah, that was working real well.” Eidolon stepped back, mouth thinned in irritation.

“Go ahead, Shade. Take off the gloves. Prove you aren’t falling for your little wolf.” Wraith shook his head. “She helped you through The Change, but you don’t need her anymore. You said you’d kill her. Stop stalling.”

Eidolon frowned. “Shade? You okay?”

No. No, he wasn’t. Splinters of pain ripped through him. But it wasn’t his pain. It was Runa’s. He craned his head around to the door, where she stood, her face pale, her chin trembling.

She’d heard. Her sorrow slammed into him. Tears. Betrayal. Oh, hell’s fucking rings, she knew.

“Runa,” he rasped, but she dropped the soda in her hand and bolted down the hall. Cursing, he tore free from E’s grip, but before he made it to the door, Wraith tackled him, slamming him back against the wall again.

“We’ll get her. You need to let her go. Now. Forever.”

“No!” Shade didn’t possess half of Wraith’s fighting skill, but somehow he exploded out of Wraith’s grip and out of the office. He had to get to Runa before his brothers did. Before E or Wraith killed her out of love for Shade, or before Roag did the same … out of hate.

Runa careened through the hospital, her eyes stinging. The burn of betrayal swept through her veins like wildfire, searing everything in its path. That son of a bitch! She’d thought he cared, even if he didn’t admit it. For the second time, he’d betrayed her, and she’d let it happen. This time, though, he would take more than her heart.

He’d take her life.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me thrice … I end up dead. She had to get out of this hospital.

Panic made it hard to breathe as she searched for an exit. They were underground, but she knew ambulances somehow drove from the hospital through New York City streets, so there must be a way out. She knew about the Harrowgate in the ER, since that was what they’d been using to come and go, but could she use it? She’d watched Shade operate it … surely she could at least get herself to safety. Somewhere close to the Army base. If Arik could get to her before Shade did, the Army could protect her.

You don’t need her anymore.

Wraith’s words cut through her like a chilled knife. She’d stood there, waiting for Shade to tell his brother to fuck off. He hadn’t. Then Wraith’s next words had stopped her heart cold.

You said you’d kill her.

Oh, God.

She burst into the ER, and when a blue-skinned nurse brought her head around a hundred and eighty degrees to stare at her with blinding white eyes, Runa skidded to a halt. Calm down, she told herself. Calm. She couldn’t afford to attract attention.

Ahead, the Harrowgate shimmered, a curtain of undulating light. She walked toward it with purpose, as if she owned the hospital and knew exactly where she was going.

As she reached the gate, the lab technician who had taken her blood joined her. “You leaving?” Frank asked. “I’m off shift. I’ll share the gate with you.”

“Runa!” Shade’s voice, faint but strong, echoed from down the hall.

Her heart skipped a beat. She had to hurry, and maybe this guy could help her use the gate. “Yes. That would be nice. Thank you.”

They stepped into the arch and were instantly engulfed in eerie darkness. The only light came from the glowing maps on the smooth, black walls. Frank seemed to be waiting for her to make the first move. Her heart pounded as she searched for the crude map of the United States she’d seen Shade manipulate.

“Looking for this?” he asked, tapping an outline she didn’t recognize. Instantly, a map of the States popped up, and he tapped New York.

“No … I wanted—” She snapped her mouth shut. She couldn’t let a hospital staff member know where she was going, to Washington, D.C., and the secret military installation where she worked. “Yes, yes, that’s fine. Thank you.”

“New York City … which gate?”

She had no idea. She studied the map, looking for an exit point near her house. There were two. She fingered one, and instantly, the gate opened up into a dark, wooded park. It occurred to her that trotting through a park at night wouldn’t be the brightest thing she’d ever done, but it was probably far safer than being at the hospital where demons wanted to kill her. Besides, she could shift into a werewolf if she ran into trouble. She was definitely safer among even the worst humans than …

Humans. Frank was human.

Humans couldn’t use the Harrowgate.

Which meant that the person standing next to her was not Frank.

Oh, my God. Chills skittered up and down her spine, but she forced herself to remain calm, to take deep, even breaths. She mumbled a polite, “Thank you,” and stepped out of the gate and onto the grass, her knees trembling.

She took one step. And another. Another … so far, so good.

And then, a low, ominous growl sneaked up behind her, growing louder. Swallowing the lump of terror in her throat, she turned.

The demon in the archway was charred, twisted. Evil radiated from it like the devil’s furnace.

Roag.

The scream built in her throat even as he reached for her with his ruined, clawlike hands. “You little bitch. I’m going to skin you alive for what you did to Sheryen.”

She ran. Ran faster than she ever had, stumbling once and nearly going down. A flapping sound reached her ears at the same time as a brush of air, and a winged demon landed with a hard thump in front of her. It grinned, revealing huge, serrated, sharklike teeth. Red eyes drilled hatred directly into her skull.

She didn’t stand a chance against Roag in her current form, but she couldn’t shift—she’d be vulnerable for the few seconds of her transformation. She needed time.

She plowed her fist into the creature’s scaled belly, followed by a brutal kick to its groin. Thanks for the training, Arik.

Roag roared, spitting yellow bile that stung her skin as it landed on her arm and neck. She darted to the right, toward an area of the park she knew well. The foliage was dense, difficult for a demon the size of the winged thing to navigate.

Her lungs burned with the need for oxygen, but she kept going, until the stitch in her side became crippling and her legs were ready to give out. At the edge of the park, she dived into the ditch running alongside, and the moment she hit it, she concentrated, bringing out the wolfy side of her.

The snap of bone and tear of skin brought with it the ecstasy of power, and in moments, she was crouched in the grass behind a shrub, her enhanced hearing picking up the crunch of tree leaves and twigs as Roag ran toward her.

He burst out of the trees, only this time, he’d taken the one form that frightened her more than Roag’s burned-out shell.

Shade.

“Runa? It’s me. You’re safe now.”

Not only was she not that stupid, but if Roag thought that she’d run to Shade like a well-trained dog, he was not just insane, he was delusional. She remained where she was, waiting for him to come closer.

Roag’s gaze swept the area, and then his eyes zeroed in on her hiding place. “I know you’re there.”

She launched herself. Over the shrub and into his big chest. They went down in a tangle.

“Fuck,” he grunted, and wow, Roag definitely had Shade’s mannerisms down pat.

He swept his arm in an arc, throwing her against a tree trunk. She slammed into it but came immediately to her feet. In this body, she was bigger than Shade, her strong, furred legs holding her upright as she looked down on him.

“Runa, listen to me. ” His voice was soft and comforting, and, she realized, it was his paramedic voice. Roag really knew his stuff, because it damned near worked on her. “I don’t want to hurt you. Change back to yourself, and we’ll talk about this.”

She lunged. This time, her jaws closed around his throat as her claws sank into his shoulders. Warm blood coated her tongue, spurring her on. She clamped down … only to get a mouthful of fur.

Suddenly, the demon beneath her was a warg, the huge black beast Shade had turned into the nights of the full moon. His snarl vibrated both his body and hers. They rolled, a knot of claws and teeth, slashing at each other until fur flew in tufts through the air.

She held her own until Roag hooked a leg around her and flipped her, face-first, into the grass. His low growl hung in the night air as he held her down, his jaws clamped down on the back of her neck, his sharp claws digging into her ribs. He outweighed her by half, his weight keeping her pressed into the ground … and oh, God, his erection pressed into her hip.

Tears of rage and helplessness stung her eyes. Roag was going to kill her. She knew that. But not before he tortured and raped her. In her head, she screamed, hoped Shade could sense her terror. Then again, maybe he’d ignore it, hoping someone else would take care of her for him.

She should have stayed at the hospital. Shade wanted to kill her, but at least he’d have made it quick.

Runa’s body was stiff beneath Shade’s, her muscles tensing for another struggle. He wrapped himself tighter around her. They were both bleeding, though he’d definitely borne the worst of the damage. He hadn’t wanted to hurt her, and he’d paid the price for holding back.

None of this had gone as planned. Shade had reached the hospital’s Harrowgate as it closed, catching a glimpse of Runa inside. When he saw Frank, his blood had congealed. Frank couldn’t use the Harrowgate.

Shade had nearly gone insane while he waited for the gate to reopen. Only Eidolon’s calming presence had kept him level, and the moment the gate flashed with the ready signal, he and his brothers shot inside. He had no illusions that they’d come along to help him find Runa. They wanted Roag.

Shade’s link to Runa had vibrated with her terror, leading him right to her. Eidolon and Wraith had gone after Roag—Shade guessed that the creature he’d seen take flight from the trees had been their brother.

He hoped they caught him, but right now what mattered was the werewolf pinned beneath him.

She was panting from exertion, trembling with rage that veered sharply to fear, effectively shutting down his libido, which had spun up during their battle. Did she think he was Roag?

Then again, she’d have every reason to be more terrified of him.

The thought tore at him. He wasn’t a monster. He wasn’t.

So why did that feel like such a lie?

“Runa …”

Her name came out as a harsh growl, and he realized he was still in the warg form he’d taken to defend himself against her attack. Slowly, carefully, he disengaged his teeth from the back of her neck but kept his weight on her. Beneath him, she tensed even more.

He concentrated, brought himself back to his Seminus form. God, she was huge, and he realized he was taking a risk.

“Runa. It’s me.”

Her answer was a nasty snarl. Not encouraging.

“I can prove it. Roag wouldn’t know how we met, right?” He rubbed his face in her silky fur as he spoke into her ear, which twitched, tickling his lips. “He wouldn’t know I took you outside your coffee shop and that you were so hot, so tight, I nearly came before I was fully inside you.”

He let his senses fire up to listen for approaching enemies, and he heard the quickening of her breath as he reminded her of why they were so damned good together.

“He wouldn’t know that my favorite part of making love to you is afterward, when you come apart in my arms while I watch.”

Her breath caught, just enough to let him know that she didn’t doubt his identity, and his words hadn’t left her unaffected.

“Yeah, you know it’s me. I need you to change back. I can explain what you heard.” Tension radiated from her, as well as confusion, and a spike of hurt at his words. “Please, lir—” He cut himself off. Lirsha? Was he going to say it? Lover. Beloved.

Hell’s rings.

“Talk to me. Please.”

Her entire body trembled, but she remained as she was.

In the distance, he heard voices. Human. Too far away to worry about, but they needed to move this elsewhere. Most demons were invisible to humans unless the demon wanted to be seen. But werewolves and humanoid demons like his species were clear as day.

“I’m going to back away. No sudden moves.” He eased off her and to the side, where he sat on his heels and planted his hands on his thighs, trying to appear as nonthreatening as possible. Since he was now naked, his clothes shredded and on the ground, he figured he looked about as nonthreatening as he could. He risked a glance at his extremities, and felt lead in his gut even though he knew what to expect. Shimmering transparency that had spread from his hands to his wrists, from his feet to his ankles.

Immediately, Runa shoved to all fours and swung around to him, baring her massive teeth. Damn, she was big. And beautiful. Her toffee fur glinted in the light of the moon, and her eyes glowed like amber coals.

“Come back to me.” His voice was pleading and gravelly, because everything was on the line now. She could kill him or leave him, but either way, he’d die.

For a moment, the air went still. Runa made a soft noise, and then the transformation began, sparking hope. Knowing she was self-conscious about it, he looked away until the gruesome sounds of muscle and tendon snapping back into place came to an end. When he looked again, she was standing there in the night air, as naked as he was.

“We have to go someplace safe,” he said softly, knowing how lame that sounded.

“Safe?” She laughed bitterly. “With you? That’s a joke, isn’t it? Why did you bother saving me from Roag when you could have just let him do the job for you?”

“I know what you heard, but I swear to you, I’m not going to kill you.”

“You’ll leave that to one of your brothers?”

“They won’t touch you. I won’t let anyone hurt you, Runa.”

She wrapped her arms around herself and shivered. “But you were going to.”

“Yes,” he said bluntly, because there was no way to sugarcoat the truth.

Hurt flashed in her eyes, and right now he’d do anything to make it better, but they were long past that. “You must truly be desperate to get out of the bond. I didn’t realize you hated me so much.”

Gods, he wished that were true, and it pissed him the hell off that he couldn’t rein in enough discipline to make it happen. “That’s the problem,” he muttered. “I don’t hate you enough.”

“Are you serious?” She gaped at him, making him feel about two inches tall. “You are, aren’t you? You want to hate me? What kind of jerk wants to hate someone?”

She shook her head as though trying to make his words come together in a way that made sense.

“Look—” He broke off at the sound of approaching footsteps. Instantly, he leaped to his feet and shielded Runa from the intruders he hoped would be at least one of his brothers. A sane one would be good.

“Who is it?” Runa whispered.

“Just stay behind me.”

Two demons emerged from the foliage, and Shade’s heart froze. They were different species—one a Nightlash, and the other a pres’genesis Seminus, whose dermoire revealed that they shared a great-great-grandsire. Both wore the uniform of the Carceris, demons who captured and held other demons accused of violating demon law.

The Nightlash stepped forward. “Shade, son of Khane, you are accused of slaughtering a warg in order to interfere with First Rights. What say you?”

Runa gasped. “You killed Luc?”

“As much as I’d like to take credit,” Shade said, “I didn’t do it.”

The Seminus inclined his head. “That will be an issue for the Judicia to determine. Your response is noted. You will now submit to our custody.”

Like hell he would. The Judicia would get to the bottom of the matter, but he couldn’t afford to be locked away until he was found innocent. Not with Roag gunning for Runa. He would not leave his mate unprotected.

He smiled. “Of course. Give me a moment to say good-bye.” Before the Carcers could refuse, he turned to Runa, who was looking at him with a mix of confusion and residual anger. Anger he could feel in the taut stiffness of her body. “You’re going to run,” he whispered against her ear. “Head for the Harrowgate. I’ll be right behind you. If I don’t join you within two minutes, either find Eidolon or use the gate to get to the hospital. Understood?”

“No, I don’t understand.”

“Just do it—” A hand closed on his arm—the Nightlash. Shade struck, a closed fist to its ugly face. “Run, Runa!”

Naturally, Runa did the opposite. She attacked the Seminus, catching him by surprise as he tried to assist the Nightlash. Shade had forgotten how well she fought, but he didn’t have time to admire her moves. He’d trained with Wraith for decades, but the Nightlash was bigger and stronger, and it took precious moments to gain the upper hand.

Shade took a quick double-tap to the abdomen, and then he dropped, spun, and with a sweep of his legs, caught the Nightlash in the knees.

The demon hit the ground and rolled into a ditch. Leaping to his feet, Shade jammed the heel of his hand in the Seminus’s nose. As the demon wheeled backward, clutching his face, Shade grabbed Runa’s hand, and they hauled ass to the Harrowgate. Once there, they dived inside, and he tapped the map to take them to Costa Rica.

They stepped out, and hit the ground running. Once they reached his cave, he shoved Runa inside.

“Shit,” he growled, as the stone door slid into place. “I am so fucked.” And naked. Which normally went well together, but he figured Runa wouldn’t appreciate the association. Besides, he needed to cover up the parts of his body that were fading out. He headed for the bedroom, Runa on his heels.

“What was that all about?” she asked.

He tossed her a robe. “Which part?”

“All of it,” she said, shrugging into the garment. “But right now I’m wondering if they can find us.”

“They have ways of tracking us through the Harrowgate.” He tugged on a pair of jeans. “Once they exit the gate, locating my lair won’t be easy. Even if they manage, getting inside will be difficult. But hiding out here is our best option, and Roag doesn’t know about this place, so he can’t tip them off.”

“Who were they? Some sort of demon cops?”

“Something like that.” He tore through his closet, searching for a sweatshirt and gloves.

“And the Judicia?”

Dammit. Where the hell were all his riding gloves?

“Shade? The Judicia?”

He swore and stalked to his dresser. No gloves. “They’re demons that mete out justice. Eidolon served as a Justice demon for a time, so I know what to expect. They’ll get it figured out, but I can’t afford to spend time in a cell while I wait.”

She frowned. “Without … um … me, wouldn’t you suffer in a cell?”

He shook his head. “They’re specially designed to negate species needs. While imprisoned, vampires don’t need to feed, incubi don’t need sex … things like that.” Yep, those logical, level-headed Justice demons thought of everything. “Do you think I did it?”

“What? Kill Luc?” She shook her head. “I know you didn’t. I was within hearing distance of you pretty much the entire time I was at the hospital.”

“It had to have been Roag.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, though nothing was going to stave off the headache that was starting to throb at his temples. “He must have killed him, impersonated him, and ratted me out to Wraith. He’s getting bolder.”

Shade grabbed the satellite phone, stepped outside the cave for decent reception, and rang E’s cell. His brother answered on the second ring.

“Shade?”

“Yeah.”

“You okay? Safe?”

“For now. The Carceris is after me.”

“I know. You didn’t do yourself any favors by running.”

“I couldn’t leave Runa unprotected. Unless you and Wraith happened to nab Roag?”

“The bastard got away. And it looks like he broke into the hospital’s storeroom.”

Shade swore. Roag could have stolen some potentially dangerous materials. “Bro, we have to step up our search for him. And I think you need to get Tay somewhere safe.”

“Already handled. She’ll stay at Aegis HQ. When we need to be together, she’ll come to the hospital, with Kynan as an escort. What’s going on with Runa?”

She’d followed him outside, and though she stood calmly at the cave entrance arms crossed over her chest, there was nothing calm about the flames that burned in her eyes. Still pissed about the whole thing about him killing her, he guessed.

“She’s fine for now.”

“Yeah?” E’s voice lowered to a near-whisper Shade had to strain to hear. “Well, something is going on with you. Wraith’s worried, and I’m having a hard time keeping him contained.”

“Are you saying he’s going to go self-destructive?”

“As improbable as this sounds, I think he’s trying to keep his act together. Mainly because he’s on the verge of hunting you down. He thinks you need help.”

That headache started knocking at his skull. “Shit. I don’t want him to know about this place.”

“Which means you’d better settle down. Unless …”

“Don’t go there.”

“The Maluncoeur, right? You’re falling for Runa.”

Shade sucked in a harsh breath. “I can’t talk about it.” Talking about it, voicing it, would make it real, and if it wasn’t bad enough already, the moment he truly made it real was the moment he’d disappear forever.

E’s curses blistered the airwaves. “I won’t let it claim you.”

“There’s nothing you can do. This is my mess.”

He’d fucked up, over and over, starting with the day he’d been cursed. All these years he’d thought of Wraith as the screw-up in the family, but Shade left his little brother in the dust.