Dirty Little Secrets

Notes

1

1. Courtney L. Martin, Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters: The Frightening New Normalcy of Hating Your Body (New York: Free Press, 2007).

2

2. “Facts on American Teens’ Sexual and Reproductive Health,” Guttmacher Institute, January 2011, www.guttmacher.org/pubs/FB-ATSRH.html.

3

3. Ibid.

4

4. Joe S. McIlhaney Jr. and Freda McKissic Bush, Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex Is Affecting Our Children (Chicago: Northfield Publishing, 2008).

5

5. For a detailed evaluation of the studies on oxytocin and attachment, see Heather Corinna’s article, “Pump Up The Vole-Ume: Talking Oxytocin,” Scarleteen.com, August 4, 2010, www.scarleteen.com/blog/heather_corinna/2010/08/04/pump_up_the_voleume_talking_oxytocin.

6

6. Beth A. Auslander, Michelle M. Perfect, Paul A. Succop, and Susan L. Rosenthal, “Perceptions of Sexual Assertiveness among Adolescent Girls: Initiation, Refusal, and Use of Protective Behaviors,” Journal of Pediatric Adolescent Gynecology 20, no. 3 (2007): 157–162.

7

7. Michelle Fine, “Sexuality, Schooling, and Adolescent Females: The Missing Discourse of Desire,” Harvard Educational Review 58, no. 1 (1988): 29–53.

8

8. Joan Jacobs Brumberg, The Body Project: An Intimate History of American Girls (New York: Random House, 1997). See also Margaret Mead’s Coming of Age in Samoa: A Psychological Study of Primitive Youth for Western Civilization (New York: William Morrow and Company, 1928).

9

9. Hugo Schwyzer, “The Paris Paradox: How Sexualization Replaces Opportunity with Obligation,” Hugo Schwyzer Blog, www.hugoschwyzer.net, November 9, 2010, hugoschwyzer.net/2010/11/09/the-paris-paradox-how-sexualization-replaces-opportunity-with-obligation/.

10

10. Volunteers completed a survey that read simply, “Describe your loose girl experience.” All volunteers answered my request after having read Loose Girl or having become aware of it and its theme.

11

1. Mary Pipher, Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls (New York: Ballantine Books, 1994), 19.

12

2. Ibid., 22.

13

3. Anne Beattie, introduction to At Twelve: Portraits of Young Women, by Sally Mann (New York: Aperture, 2005), 8.

14

4. Shumei S. Sun, Christine M. Schubert, William Cameron Chumlea, Alex F. Roche, Howard E. Kulin, Peter A. Lee, John H. Himes, and Alan S. Ryan, “National Estimates of the Timing of Sexual Maturation and Racial Differences Among US Children,” Pediatrics 110, no. 5 (2002): 911–919. Note that the earlier onset of puberty does not include “precocious puberty,” which is when puberty occurs before the age of eight.

15

5. Marcia E. Herman-Giddens, Eric J. Slora, Richard C. Wasserman, Carlos J. Bourdony, Manju V. Bhapkar, Gary G. Koch, and Cynthia M. Hasemeie, “Secondary Sexual Characteristics and Menses in Young Girls Seen in Office Practice: A Study from the Pediatric Research in Office Settings Network,” Pediatrics 99, no. 4 (1997): 505–512.

16

6. Julian Isherwood, “Dramatic Drop in Female Puberty,” Politiken.dk, June 18, 2010, politiken.dk/newsinenglish/ECE998340/dramatic-drop-in-female-puberty.

17

7. Florence Williams, “Younger Girls, Bigger Breasts: Are Chemicals to Blame?” Slate, July 28 2009, www.doublex.com/section/health-science/younger-girls-bigger-breasts-arechemicals-blame.

18

8. William Cameron Chumlea, Christine M. Schubert, Alex F. Roche, Howard E. Kulin, Peter A. Lee, John H. Himes, and Shumei S. Sun, “Age at Menarche and Racial Comparisons in U.S. Girls,” Pediatrics 111, no. 1 (2003): 110–113.

19

9. Committee on Communications, “Children, Adolescents, and Advertising,” Pediatrics 118, no. 6 (2006): 2563–2569.

20

10. Naomi Wolf, The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty Are Used against Women (New York: Harper Collins, 2002).

21

11. Katy Gilpatric. “Violent Female Action Characters in Contemporary American Cinema,” Sex Roles 62, nos. 11–12 (2010): 734–746.

22

12. Diane E. Levin and Jean Kilbourne, So Sexy, So Soon (New York: Ballantine Books, 2009), 9.

23

13. Jessica Valenti, The Purity Myth: How America’s Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women (Berkeley: Seal Press, 2009), 13.

24

14. Ibid., 30.

25

15. Deborah L. Tolman, Dilemmas of Desire: Teenage Girls Talk about Sexuality (Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 2002).

26

16. Wolf, Beauty Myth, 156.

27

17. Marta Meana, quoted in Daniel Bergner, “What Do Women Want?” New York Times Magazine, January 22, 2009, www.nytimes.com/2009/01/25/magazine/25desire-t.html.

28

1. Leanne K. Lamke, “The Impact of Sex-Role Orientation on Self-Esteem in Early Adolescence,” Child Development 53, no. 6 (1982): 1530–1535.

29

2. Naomi Wolf, Promiscuities: The Secret Struggle for Womanhood (New York: Random House, 1997), 113–114.

30

3. Sylvia Pagan Westphal, “Partners of Underage Girls Focus Study,” Los Angeles Times, August 13, 1999.

31

4. Mike Males, “Poverty, Rape, Adult/Teen Sex: Why ‘Pregnancy Prevention’ Programs Don’t Work,” Phi Delta Kappan 75, no. 5 (1994): 407–410.

32

5. Sharon G. Elstein and Noy Davis, “Sexual Relationships Between Adult Males and Young Teen Girls: Exploring the Legal and Social Responses,” American Bar Association Center on Children and the Law, October 1997, new.abanet.org/child/PublicDocuments/statutory_rape.pdf.

33

6. Gerald R. Adams and Michael D. Berzonsky, Blackwell Handbook on Adolescence (New York: Wiley-Blackwell, 2005).

34

7. William Pollack, Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood (New York: Owl Books, 1999).

35

1. Jessica Valenti, The Purity Myth: How America’s Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women (Berkeley: Seal Press, 2009), Lynn M. Phillips, referred to later in this chapter, calls this virgin icon “the pleasing woman discourse.” The pleasing woman is “pleasant, feminine, and subordinate to men,” and she lacks sexual desire herself. Her entire being is based on pleasing and being in service to others, especially men.

36

2. Hannah Brückner and Peter S. Bearman, “After the Promise: The STD Consequences of Adolescent Virginity Pledges,” Journal of Adolescent Health 36 (2005): 271–278.

37

3. Emily White, Fast Girls: Teenage Tribes and The Myth of the Slut (New York: Scribner, 2002).

38

4. Ibid.

39

5. Kate Snow and Kelly Hagan, “Teen Girls Hazed on N.J. High School ‘Slut List,’” Good Morning America, September 23, 2009, abcnews.go.com/GMA/teen-girls-hazed-slut-list/story?id=8649050&tqkw=&tqshow=GMA.

40

6. “2009 AP-MTV Digital Abuse Study,” MTV’s A Thin Line Project, www.athinline.org/MTV-AP_Digital_Abuse_Study_Executive_Summary.pdf.

41

7. Lynn M. Phillips, Flirting with Danger: Young Women’s Reflections on Sexuality and Domination (New York: New York University Press, 2000).

42

8. Ariel Levy, Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture (New York: Free Press, 2005).

43

9. Laura Sessions Stepp, Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love, and Lose at Both (New York: Riverhead Books, 2007).

44

10. To read the full Marie Claire interview, see Sarah Z. Wexler, “Confessions of a Sex Addict,” Marie Claire, April 2008, www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/relationship-issues/articles/sex-addict-confessions.

45

11. Find the Jezebel.com blog post I refer to at Moe Tkacik, “Is ‘Sex Addict’ Memoirist Kerry Cohen Even a Slut?” April 22, 2008, jezebel.com/382609/is-sex-addict-memoirist-kerry-cohen-even-actually-a-slut. The blog post is intact, but almost all the original comments were deleted. Why? Less than a month after the posting, Jezebel ran into problems because their readers and bloggers were often deeply cruel and nasty. You can read about that at Lauren Lipton, “Not on Our Blog You Won’t,” New York Times, May 4, 2008, www.nytimes.com/2008/05/04/fashion/04jezebel-1.html. It seemed to me that most of the blog posts and comments that were truly mean were ones about women who had achieved success—and this at a blog created for “smart” women.

46

12. Erica Jong, quoted in Levy, Female Chauvinist Pigs, 76.

47

13. Phillips, Flirting with Danger, 52.

48

14. Kerry Cohen, Loose Girl: A Memoir of Promiscuity (New York: Hyperion, 2008). For those who are interested, I wrote about the work it took to find the meaning inside this scene in the essay Kerry Cohen, “Excavating a Moment’s Truth,” Brevity.com, January 2010, www.creativenonfiction.org/brevity/craft/craft_cohen1_10.htm.

49

15. Biddy Martin, “Feminism, Criticism, and Foucault,” in Feminism and Foucault: Reflections on Resistance, ed. Irene Diamond and Lee Quinby (Boston: Northeastern University Press, 1988), 3–19.

50

1. James Jaccard, Patricia J. Dittus, and Vivian V. Gordon, “Parent-Adolescent Congruency in Reports of Adolescent Sexual Behavior and in Communications about Sexual Behavior,” Child Development 69, no. 1 (1998): 247–261.

51

2. Robert W. Blum, “Mothers’ Influence on Teen Sex: Connections That Promote Postponing Sexual Intercourse,” Center for Adolescent Health and Development, University of Minnesota, 2002, www.allaboutkids.umn.edu/presskit/MonographMS.pdf.

52

3. Liz Brody, “The O/Seventeen Sex Survey: Mothers and Daughters Talk about Sex,” O, The Oprah Magazine, April 14, 2009, www.oprah.com/relationships/The-Sex-Survey-Oprah-Magazine-Womens-Sex-Survey.

53

4. P. Averett, “Parental Communications and Young Women’s Struggle for Sexual Agency,” Ph.D. diss., University of Virginia Polytechnic Institute, 2004; Virginal Blacksburg and Kimberlee S. Schear, “Factors That Contribute to, and Constrain, Conversations between Adolescent Females and Their Mothers about Sexual Matters,” Forum on Public Policy: A Journal of The Oxford Roundtable, September 22, 2006, 4751–4872.

54

5. Aimee Lee Ball, “Everyone’s Doing What?” O, The Oprah Magazine, April 7, 2009, www.oprah.com/relationships/Teenage-Sex-Dr-Laura-Berman-on-How-to-Talk-to-Teenagers-About-Sex.

55

6. D. Herbenick, M. Reece, V. Schick, S. A. Sanders, B. Dodge, and J. D. Fortenberry, “Sexual Behavior in the United States: Results from a National Probability Sample of Men and Women Ages 14-94,” Journal of Sexual Medicine, 2010, 7 (suppl. 5), 255–265.

56

7. A. Das, “Masturbation in the United States,” Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy 33, no. 4 (2007): 301–317.

57

8. Christine O’Donnell’s now-famous television interview is available at “Christine O’Donnell’s 90s Anti-Masturbation Campaign,” www.msnbc.com, September 14, 2010, www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzHcqcXo_NA.

58

9. D. Rosenthal, S. Moore, and I. Flynn, “Adolescent Self-Efficacy, Self-Esteem, and Sexual Risk-Taking,” Journal of Community and Applied Social Psychology 1, no. 2 (June 1991): 77–88.

59

10. Judith Levine, Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex (New York: Thunder’s Mouth Press, 2003), 160–161.

60

11. Lynn Ponton, The Sex Lives of Teenagers: Revealing the Secret World of Adolescent Boys and Girls (New York: Penguin Group, 2000).

61

12. Michael Reece, D. Herbenick, V. Schick, A. Sanders, B. Dodge, and J. D. Fortenberry, “Condom Use Rates in a National Probability Sample of Males and Females Ages 14 to 94 in the United States,” Journal of Sexual Medicine 7, suppl. 5 (2010): 266–276. Interestingly, black and Hispanic adolescents use condoms the most.

62

13. “Patterns of Condom Use Among Adolescents: The Impact of Mother-Adolescent Communication,” American Journal of Public Health, October 1, 1998, www.cdc.gov/std/general/Condom_Use_Among_Adolescents.htm, www.cdc.gov, June 8, 2009, retrieved April 2, 2011.

63

14. Peter R. Kilmann, Jennifer M. C. Vendemia, Michele M. Parnell, and Geoffrey C. Urbaniak, “Parent Characteristics Linked with Daughters’ Attachment Styles,” Adolescence 44, no. 175 (Autumn 2009): 557–568.

64

15. Episode 3.10, “The Giving Tree.” For the full transcript and a comparison with a sex talk that went nowhere on My So-Called Life, see S. Seltzer, “On Friday Night Lights, the TV Sex Talk Done Right,” RH Reality Check, March 27, 2009, www.rhrealitycheck.org/blog/2009/03/26/on-friday-nightlights-tv-sex-talk-done-right. Another excellent television sex talk was between father and son on Glee. For the video clip, see “Watch Kurt and His Dad Have a Gay Sex Talk on Glee,” retrieved April 2, 2011, vodpod.com/watch/5729957-watch-kurt-and-his-dad-have-a-gay-sex-talk-on-glee.

65

1. Travis Plum Lee, Family Ark Ministries, March 30, 2010, retrieved January 12, 2011, www.travisplumlee.com/news/?p=131.

66

2. Andrew Chomik, “Her Daddy Issues,” Askmen.com, retrieved April 2, 2011, www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_300/366_her-daddy-issues.html.

67

3. Trayce Hansen, “Love Isn’t Enough: 5 Reasons Why Same-Sex Marriage Will Harm Children,” Drtraycehansen.com, retrieved April 2, 2011, www.drtraycehansen.com/Pages/writings_samesex.html.

68

4. Gabriella Kortsch, “Fatherless Women: What Happens to the Adult Woman Who Was Raised without Her Father?” Trans4Mind, retrieved April 2, 2011, www.trans4mind.com/counterpoint/kortsch4.shtml.

69

5. Megan Fox also said, “We seek male attention to validate us and so no one can really be your friend because if she takes attention from you then your daddy doesn’t love you, ultimately.” See the full story at “Megan Fox: Girls Are Awful,” Showbiz Spy, September 17, 2009, www.showbizspy.com/article/191974/megan-fox-girls-are-awful.html.

70

6. F. B. Krohn and Z. Bagan, “The Effects Absent Fathers Have on Female Development and College Attendance,” College Student Journal of Family 35, no. 4 (2001): 598–608.

71

7. J. Deardorff, J. P. Ekwaru, L. H. Kushi, B. J. Ellis, L. C. Greenspan, A. Mirabedi, E. G. Landaverdi, and R. A. Hiatt, “Father Absence, Body Mass Index, and Pubertal Timing in Girls: Differential Effects by Family Income and Ethnicity,” Journal of Adolescent Health, published online September 20, 2010, jahonline.org/article/S1054-139X(10)00389-7/abstract.

72

8. B. Bower, “Absent Dads Linked to Early Sex by Daughters,” Science News, 164 (July 19, 2003): 35–36.

73

9. S. R. Jaffee, T. E. Moffitt, A. Caspi, and A. Taylor, “Life with (or without) Father: The Benefits of Living with Two Biological Parents Depend on the Father’s Antisocial Behavior,” Child Development 74, no. 1 (2003): 109–126.

74

10. The quotes I use can be found in the scenes captured here: Tracey Egan Morrissey, “Purity Balls: Protecting Girls from Making Choices,” Jezebel.com, January 4, 2010, jezebel.com/5440014/purity-balls-protecting-girls-from-making-choices.

75

1. J. I. Dolgan, “Depression in Children,” Pediatric Annals 19, no. 1 (1990): 45–50.

76

2. Thomas J. Dishion, “Cross-Setting Consistency in Early Adolescent Psychopathology: Deviant Friendships and Problem Behavior Sequelae,” Journal of Personality 68, no. 6 (2000): 1109–1126.

77

3. Anthony Biglan, C. W. Metzler, R. Wirt, D. Ary, J. Noell, L. Ochs, C. French, and D. Hood, “Social and Behavioral Factors Associated with High-Risk Sexual Behavior among Adolescents,” Journal of Behavioral Medicine 13, no. 3 (1990): 245–261.

78

4. “Study Links Teen Drug and Alcohol Use with Promiscuity,” CNN.com, December 7, 1999, articles.cnn.com/1999-12-07/us/teens.drugs.sex_1_teens-alcohol-drugs?_s=PM:US.

79

5. P. A. Cavazos-Rehg, E. L. Spitznagel, K. K. Bucholz, K. Norberg, W. Reich, I. Nurnberger Jr, V. Hesselbrock, J. Kramer, S. Kuperman, L. J. Bierut, “The Relationship between Alcohol Problems and Dependence, Conduct Problems and Diagnosis, and Number of Sex Partners in a Sample of Young Adults,” Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research 31, no. 12 (2007): 2046–2052.

80

6. Sophie Borland, “Legacy of the Ladette: Now Alarming Rise in Teenage Promiscuity and Abortions Is Linked to Women’s Binge Drinking,” Mail Online, August 21, 2010, www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1304833/The-Legacy-ladette-binge-drinking-women-linked-rise-casual-sex-abortionsprescriptions-morning-pill.html#ixzz18ItsxRCX.

81

7. Sheila B. Blume, “Sexuality and Stigma: The Alcoholic Woman,” Alcohol Health and Research World 15, no. 2 (1991): 139–46. For a recent discussion of examples of blaming the victim regarding rape, see Elaine Grant, “A New Era in Handling Campus Rape,” New Hampshire Public Radio, April 4, 2011, retrieved April 5, 2011, www.nhpr.org/new-era-handling-campus-rape.

82

8. It remains intensely difficult to untangle what really is standard or normal when the culture has determined for us already that no sex in any way is normal for a teen. Suddenly, the question of whether a behavior causes someone extreme distress—a typical psychologist’s question when determining whether behavior needs to be addressed—becomes doubtful: a girl may well feel tremendous shame about behavior that isn’t so horrible when that behavior is removed from cultural mores. We have to wonder whether the real trouble is the behavior or the labeling of the behavior as a problem.

83

9. Craig Nakken, The Addictive Personality, 2nd ed. (Center City, MN: Hazelden Publishing, 1988).

84

10. Kelly McDaniel, Ready to Heal: Women Facing Love, Sex, and Relationship Addiction (Carefree, AZ: Gentle Path Press, 2008), For the leading experts’ words on love and sex addiction, see also Pia Mellody’s Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love (New York: HarperCollins, 1992) and Patrick Carnes’s Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sex Addiction (Center City, MN: Hazelden Publishing, 2001).

85

11. E. O. Paolucci, M. L. Genuis, and C. Violato, “A Meta-Analysis of the Published Research on the Effects of Child Sexual Abuse,” Journal of Psychology 135, no. 1 (2001): 17–36.

86

12. Heather Corinna, “Who’s Calling Who Compulsive? Calling Out a Common Rape Survivor Stereotype,” Scarleteen.com, June 6, 2010, www.scarleteen.com/blog/heather_corinna/2010/06/06/whos_calling_who_compulsive_calling_out_a_common_rape_survivor_stere.

87

13. Becky and Kathy Liddle, “More Than Good Intentions: How to Be an Ally to the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Community,” Auburn Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual Caucus, retrieved April 5, 2011, www.auburn.edu/aglbc/ally.htm.

88

1. “Facts on American Teens’ Sexual and Reproductive Health,” Guttmacher Institute, January 2011, www.guttmacher.org/pubs/FB-ATSRH.html.

89

2. Laura M. Carpenter, Virginity Lost: An Intimate Portrait of First Sexual Experiences (New York: New York University Press, 2005).

90

3. The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation and Seventeen Magazine, “Virginity and the First Time: A Series of National Surveys of Teens about Sex,” Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation, October 2003, www.kff.org/entpartnerships/upload/Virginity-and-the-First-Time-Summary-of-Findings.pdf.

91

4. Bill Albert, “National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, ‘With One Voice 2007: America’s Adults and Teens Sound Off about Teen Pregnancy: A Periodic National Survey,’” The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, February 2007, www.thenationalcampaign.org/resources/pdf/pubs/WOV2007_fulltext.pdf.

92

5. Judith Levine, Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex (New York: Thunder’s Mouth Press, 2003), 160.

93

6. Kaiser Family Foundation, T. Hoff, L. Greene, and J. Davis, “National Survey of Adolescence and Young Adults: Sexual Health Knowledge, Attitudes and Behaviors,” Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation, May 2003, www.kff.org/youthhivstds/upload/National-Survey-of-Adolescents-and-Young-Adults-Sexual-Health-Knowledge-Attitudes-and-Experiences-Summary-of-Findings.pdf.

94

7. S. A. Vannier and L. F. O’Sullivan, “Sex without Desire: Characteristics of Occasions of Sexual Compliance in Young Adults’ Committed Relationships,” Journal of Sex Research 47, no. 5 (2010): 429–439.

95

8. Latoya Peterson, “The Not-Rape Epidemic,” in Yes Means Yes! Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World without Rape, ed. Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti (Berkeley, CA: Seal Press, 2008), 209–219.

96

9. Lee Jacob Riggs, “A Love Letter from an Anti-Rape Activist to Her Feminist Sex-Toy Store,” in Friedman and Valenti, Yes Means Yes!, 114.

97

10. Levine, Harmful to Minors, 89.

98

11. Jill Filipovic, “Offensive Feminism: The Conservative Gender Norms That Perpetuate Rape Culture, and How Feminists Can Fight Back,” in Friedman and Levine, Yes Means Yes!, 19.

99

12. Sexual Abuse Statistics, Teen Help.com, retrieved April 5, 2011, www.teenhelp.com/teen-abuse/sexual-abuse-stats.html.

100

13. T. Luster and S. A. Small, “Sexual Abuse History and Number of Sex Partners among Female Adolescents,” Family Planning Perspectives 29, no. 5 (1997): 204–211.

101

14. J. H. Beitchman, K. Zucker, J. Hood, G. DaCosta, and D. Akman, “A Review of the Long-Term Effects of Child Sexual Abuse,” Child Abuse and Neglect 16 (1992): 101–118.

102

1. National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy and Cosmogirl.com, “Sex and Tech, Results from a Survey of Teens and Young Adults,” National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, retrieved April 5, 2011, www.thenationalcampaign.org/sextech/PDF/SexTech_Summary.pdf.

103

2. “Home Computer Access and Internet Use,” Child Trends Databank,June2010, www.childtrendsdatabank.org/?q=node/298.

104

3. For a list of sexting legislation for each state, see “2010 Legislation Related to ‘Sexting,’” National Conference of State Legislature, January 4, 2011, www.ncsl.org/default.aspx?tabid=19696.

105

4. For more on Jesse Logan and the Today show interview with Parry Aftab, see Mike Celizic, “Her Teen Committed Suicide Over ‘Sexting,’” Today Parenting, March 6, 2009, today.msnbc.msn.com/id/29546030.

106

5. For more on Hope Witsell’s story, see Michael Inbar, “’Sexting’ Bullying Cited in Teen’s Suicide,” Today People, December 2, 2009, today.msnbc.msn.com/id/34236377/ns/today-today_people/.

107

6. Mike Brunker, “‘Sexting’ Surprise: Six Teens Face Child Porn Charges,” MSNBC.com, January 15, 2009, www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28679588.

108

7. Vicki Mabrey and David Perozzi, “‘Sexting’: Should Child Pornography Laws Apply?” ABCnews.com, April 1, 2010, abcnews.go.com/Nightline/phillip-alpert-sexting-teen-child-porn/story?id=10252790.

109

8. Berkman Center for Internet and Society, “Enhancing Child Safety & Online Technologies,” Harvard University, December 31, 2008, cyber.law.harvard.edu/sites/cyber.law.harvard.edu/files/ISTTF_Final_Report-Executive_Summary.pdf.

110

9. Riva Richmond, “Sexting May Place Teens at Legal Risk,” New York Times, March 26, 2009, gadgetwise.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/03/26/sexting-may-place-teens-at-legal-risk/.

111

10. Dawn Turner Trice, “Girls, Don’t Dumb Yourselves Down in Social Media,” Chicago Tribune, November 12, 2010, c.

112

11. Judith Levine, Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex (New York: Thunder’s Mouth Press, 2003), 149.

113

12. Facebook Horror Stories, True Facebook Stories, retrieved April 5, 2011, www.facebook-horror-stories.com/.

114

13. Russell Goldman, “Facebook Status ‘Engaged,’ but Cops Call It Statutory Rape,” ABCnews.com, September 14, 2010, abcnews.go.com/Technology/facebook-status-read-engaged-copscall-statutory-rape/story?id=11626836&tqkw=&tqshow=.

115

14. Tamar Lewin, “Teenagers’ Internet Socializing Not a Bad Thing,” New York Times, November 19, 2008, www.nytimes.com/2008/11/20/us/20internet.html?_r=1.

116

15. P. M. Valkenburg and J. Peter, “Social Consequences of the Internet for Adolescents: A Decade of Research,” Current Directions in Psychological Science 18, no. 1 (2009): 1–5.

117

1. Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, The Rules (New York: Grand Central Publishing, 1995).

118

2. “Infidelity Statistics,” Menstuff, retrieved April 5, 2011, www.menstuff.org/issues/byissue/infidelitystats.html.

119

1. James O. Prochaska, John C. Norcross, and Carlo C. DiClemente, Changing for Good: A Revolutionary Six-Stage Program for Overcoming Bad Habits and Moving Your Life Positively Forward (New York: Avon Books, 1994).

120

2. Most chapters of Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous won’t accommodate teenagers, which I find disturbing. Although they are difficult to find, there are a few teen programs scattered throughout the nation, such as in New York and Portland, Oregon.

121

1. M. M. Bersamin, S. Walker, E. D. Waiters, D. A. Fisher, and J. W. Grube, “Promising to Wait: Virginity Pledges and Adolescent Sexual Behavior,” Journal of Adolescent Health 36, no. 5 (2005): 428–436.

122

2. Jocelyn M. Elders, foreword to Levine, Harmful to Minors, ix.

123

3. Patricia Donovan, “Falling Teen Pregnancy, Birthrates: What’s Behind the Declines?” The Guttmacher Report on Public Policy, vol. 1, October 1998; Steven Reinberg, “U.S. Teen Birth Rate Hit Record Low in 2009: CDC,” December 21, 2009, health.msn.com/health-topics/sexual-health/birth-control/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100268351.

124

4. Levine, Harmful to Minors, 94.

125

5. “Not Just Another Thing to Do: Teens Talk about Sex, Regret, and the Influence of Their Parents,” The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, June 30, 2000, www.thenationalcampaign.org/resources/pdf/pubs/NotJust_FINAL.pdf.

126

6. A. Y. Akers, C. P. Lynch, M. A. Gold, J. C. Chang, W. Doswell, H. C. Wiesenfeld, W. Feng, and J. Bost, “Exploring the Relationship among Weight, Race, and Sexual Behaviors among Girls,” Pediatrics 124 (2009): 913–920.

127

7. Joan Jacobs Brumberg, Introduction, Lauren Greenfield, Girl Culture (San Francisco: Chronicle Books, 2002).