Disturbance

THIRTY-THREE

Although I had contemplated something similar for myself only a few minutes earlier, I said, “I’m sorry, I can’t. I’ll try to get us out of here.”

She blinked again. You are a fool.

Well, nice to meet you, too, I thought but kept it to myself. Still, even that momentary flash of anger felt better than the pure panic I had been experiencing until then.

I tapped into my anger toward Parrish, but I didn’t stay angry at Violet. She had spent several years almost completely paralyzed and utterly subject to the tender mercies of Kai Loudon, so I figured I could cut her some slack. I began to wonder, when her neighbors had said she had been mean to her son, what exactly that meant.

Do not tell them.

She couldn’t have known I was thinking about her neighbors, so I said, “Them? Parrish and your son?”

Yes.

“Don’t tell them you want to die?” I asked, still whispering.

They know that. Not about Morse. Secret.

“You’ve spent years like this and haven’t let anyone know that you can communicate?”

Her mouth formed a lopsided smile, briefly. Anyone? Who did I see? Only women about to die.

“He brought them into your room?”

Bound. Gagged. Doomed.

I straightened and tried to take that in. After a moment, I said, “I can understand keeping secrets from Kai. But why not let the doctors or nurses know?”

Kai always there. Afraid of him. She paused, then added, They believe he is a saint.

“Probably not now that your backyard has been dug up.”

She closed her eyes for a moment, then signaled, He is a monster.

“I’m sorry. I can’t imagine how many horrors you’ve experienced, being at his mercy since you were injured.”

He did it.

“He injured you?”

Yes.

“But I thought-oh. Before he left for school that day-”

We fought. He pushed me.

“And left you to lie there?”

He hoped I would die. Later, he forced me to live.

She closed her eyes, and I thought I might have worn her out, or further depressed her by talking.

But she seemed just to have wanted a rest, for she opened her eyes and said, Good to talk. Glad you know code.

“Me, too.”

Should have tried with doctors. But afraid Kai is a liar. Told neighbors stories. Like his dad.

“Who is his dad?”

Parrish.

That rocked me back on my heels.

Did not know?

“No. No. I’m sorry. How… I mean…”

Was I raped?

I wasn’t sure that would have been my question, but I nodded.

No. See?

“See? See what?”

I am a bigger fool than you.

I was silent, waiting to see if she would say more, when the door to her room suddenly opened. Nick Parrish stood in the doorway, holding a gun.

“Well, well, well,” he said. “Look who’s been exploring.”