Diva Runs Out Of Thyme

FOURTEEN

From “Ask Natasha” :

Dear Natasha,

Due to my husband’s job, we move every year. I hate to waste money on embossed stationery that I can’t use up because it contains an old address. Is it totally horrible to make my own stationery on my computer?

—Computer Gal in Chilhowie

Dear Computer Gal,

Aren’t computers wonderful? They offer us so many possibilities for scrapbooking and card-making. It’s always most gracious to craft a card or note with your own personal message. I spend days working out my Christmas cards each year.

For those very few times when it isn’t possible to craft an original card, keep some paper stock and matching envelopes on hand in your signature color. Handwrite a heartfelt message and it will carry just as much panache as embossed stationery.

—Natasha

Nina tried to slide the contents out of the envelope.

I smacked her hand away. I wanted to know what was inside, too, but it was just plain wrong to read someone’s mail. My glare didn’t stop her.

I glanced over my shoulder at Mrs. Pulchinski. Oblivious to Nina’s shenanigans, she watched smoke rise from her cigarette.

Manipulating the envelope on the desk with one hand, Nina deftly flicked open a folded sheet of matching stationery. I recognized Natasha’s perfect script immediately. A check for one thousand dollars lay inside. As far as I knew, Natasha hadn’t bought any kittens lately. I had to give her credit, though. I never knew what to write on a card of condolence, but Natasha had written a gracious note praising Otis.

Nina’s hand waved under my nose and pointed to the memo line of the check.

Natasha had written, “payment in full.”

I left my meager check under the coaster so the cats wouldn’t dislodge it right away and relied on Nina to slip Natasha’s letter back in the envelope. I needn’t have worried about Mrs. Pulchinski observing us. She slumped on the couch, the only sign of life the hand that held a cigarette inches from her mouth.

“Have the police found your husband’s killer yet?” asked Nina.

I nearly choked. She might as well have introduced me as the number one suspect. Mrs. Pulchinski would catch on for sure and throw us out of her home.

“They think it’s some woman he was checking out, but I got my doubts. My Otis had smarts. Not many people ever fooled him. I think Otis come up against somebody as crafty as he was.”

Certain she would make the connection between me and the police suspect, I hurried to wind up our visit by promising to take good care of Mochie.

Mrs. Pulchinski walked us to the door. “Thank you for coming by. I don’t get many visitors. This meant a lot to me.”

The door shut behind us and I felt terrible. The poor woman was distraught and we’d come to snoop.

Nina clutched my arm. “Can you believe it? Natasha’s up to her neck in these murders. No wonder she was so quick to point her finger at you! We have to tell the police right away.”

“If they have Otis’s computer, don’t you think they know already?”

We slid into the deep leather seats of her Jaguar and she started the engine. “You heard her. He didn’t keep records on his clients.”

Years of competing with Natasha left me with an instinct to malign her. I was hardly her best advocate. She was annoying; she thought she was always right and that she knew best. But I couldn’t imagine her as a murderer. She was a perfectionist, harder on herself than those around her.

“I don’t know. Natasha always does the right thing. Like sending a lovely note and payment in full to a widow who needs the money. That’s typical Natasha. Everyone else will drag their feet paying the dead guy, but Natasha always does the right thing.”

Nina glanced over at me. “What if she thought killing someone was the right thing? What if someone threatened Mars?”

Would she kill to protect Mars? She had implied as much. It just didn’t add up for me. “Now you’re grasping because you don’t like Natasha.”

Nina braked for a light. “Anybody other than Mars get sick at Thanksgiving?”

She had a point.

We turned right and familiar broad shoulders came into view. On the sidewalk in front of my favorite bakery, Wolf and Kenner were engaged in a heated discussion. I felt like ducking so Kenner wouldn’t see me. No need, though, he wouldn’t notice me seated in a car driving by.

Nina swung the Jaguar into a parking spot.

“What are you doing?”

She nodded toward Wolf and Kenner. “I know that detective. He might tell us what’s going on in the investigation.”

I shrank down in my seat. “Which one do you know?”

“The good-looking one. You should meet him. All the women who volunteer at the animal shelter are crazy about him.” Nina opened the car door and called to Wolf.

Swell. “Nina,” I said, “Wolf is the detective on my case.”

It was too late. Wolf strode toward us. Reluctantly, I opened the car door and eased out.

“Nina Reid Norwood. I should have known it would only be a matter of time until you turned up involved in this mess.” Wolf shoved his hands into his pockets.

Nina held her head in a coy tilt. “Sophie happens to be completely innocent and embarrassingly available.”

I wanted to melt into the sidewalk.

“Thanks for clearing that up. I’ll scratch her off the suspect list immediately,” Wolf said with a grin.

Evidently they had known each other long enough to kid around. I hoped he’d think the part about me being available was a joke.

Nina straightened up. “Natasha’s the guilty party.”

Amusement faded from Wolf’s face. “And you know that how?”

Nina ticked off reasons on her fingers. “She hired Pulchinski. She had the opportunity when Simon was killed and when Mars was poisoned. All we need is her motive.”

“How do you know Natasha hired Pulchinski?”

Like a college girl flirting with her professor, Nina gave him a sly look and said, “We’ve been doing a little sleuthing on our own.”

“You two stay out of this. Sophie’s in deep enough trouble already and I don’t need either of you mucking up my investigation. Is that clear?”

“What happened with the turkey trophy?” I asked.

“Wiped clean. No fingerprints. We’re still running tests to see if there’s blood on it anywhere.”

“On the tail.”

“Right now we only have your word on that. We don’t even know for sure if it was the murder weapon.”

“What about Mars? Was there poison in his soup?” My heart pounded. I didn’t really want to hear the answer to that question.

“Don’t have the results yet.” He motioned over his shoulder. “I have to get back to Kenner. You two stay out of trouble.”

We slid into the Jaguar. Despite the distance, I could tell Kenner’s face had gone beet red again. Even if Wolf thought I might be innocent, the mere sight of me agitated Kenner.

Nina pulled her Jag into the traffic. “When this is over, you really should go out with Wolf. He’s gorgeous and nice, too. A regular down at the animal shelter. Donates dog and cat kibble twice a month.”

“If he’s so great, how come no one has grabbed him?”

“Oh, that. It’s just gossip, but the story goes that he was married and then he . . .”

Her voice drifted into a mumble.

“And then what?”

She took a deep breath. “And then he murdered his wife.”

“Very funny.”

“I told you it’s just gossip. No one really knows what happened to her.”

“You’re serious? Something happened to his wife?”

“We know he was married. He doesn’t wear his ring anymore and his wife isn’t around.”

“They call that ‘divorce,’ Nina.”

“And he’s not divorced. Either she ran off or she’s buried in his basement.”

“And you want me to go out with him? What a great friend.”

“He can’t really be a killer; he wouldn’t still be on the police force.”

“Who would know better how to get away with murder than a homicide detective?” I asked.

“He’s such a nice guy. I’m sure there’s a logical explanation.”

So much for my love life. Simon had been murdered, Wolf might be a killer, and that left Humphrey, who had as much sex appeal as vanilla pudding.

Nina sped past the turn to our street.

“Where are you going?”

“Don’t you think we should go to the hospital to warn Mars?”

“He’s probably at the hotel by now.” I couldn’t believe I had to tell Mars about Natasha’s connection to Otis Pulchinski. He would think I meant to put Natasha in a bad light to win him back. Still, he needed to know to protect himself.

Nina slowed and backtracked a few blocks to the hotel where the Stupendous Stuffing Shakedown had been scheduled to take place. She parked in front of the ballroom lobby. I stepped out of the car and leaned against it to steady my knees. I hadn’t expected such a physical reaction.

“C’mon!” Nina already held the hotel door open.

I joined her, my pulse pounding from the memories.

She paused in the ballroom lobby. “Where’s the door to the service corridor?”

“Nina, I don’t think . . .”

“Is that it?” She forged ahead and peeked behind a door marked “Employees Only.” She snapped her fingers. “Quick, before someone catches us.”

Nina walked along the hallway ahead of me. “I want to see how Natasha did it. Is this the door to the conference room where she killed Simon?”

It swung open as she put out a hand to push against it. Nina squealed and jumped back.

Andrew greeted us in surprise. “Sophie! Nina! Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.”

I’d read a million times that the killer goes back to visit the scene of the crime. So, it seemed, did the suspects.

“Guess you’re trying to figure out this stinking mess, too. You came through the main door the day Simon was killed, right, Sophie?” he asked.

I nodded and followed Andrew and Nina into the room where Simon died.

“I think Natasha bashed him over the head”—Nina acted it out—“and left by the back door where we came in. Then she ran around to the front and waited for Sophie to find Simon.”

Andrew grimaced. “That back corridor leads into other conference rooms, too. She could have cut through one of those.”

I wasn’t sure I wanted to defend Natasha, but I felt obligated to point out the flaw in their reasoning. “Anyone else could have done the same thing. Natasha could have entered and left through the front door to the room, while the killer lurked in the service corridor, waiting for his chance to be alone with Simon.”

Andrew squinted at me in disbelief. “It had to be Natasha. Who else would have poisoned Mars?”

I didn’t have an answer to that. “Why would Natasha poison him? They’re not married; she wouldn’t gain anything.”

“No? You don’t think he’s changed his will? You don’t have to marry someone to inherit.”

“Natasha has her column and her TV show. It’s only local but she’s making a decent living.”

“When the police came to our house to question Vicki and me again, they wanted to know where we were when that PI was killed. That’s obviously crucial. I hated Simon with a passion but when the killer offed the PI, I was in class to get my real estate license and Vicki was in her office with clients. Natasha’s the only one without an alibi. She must be the one who murdered the dead PI.”

A shudder ran through me. “Andrew, I found Otis dead. I found Simon’s corpse and I cooked the soup. Do you think I’m the killer?”

A hush fell over us until Andrew blurted, “You? That would ruin my whole theory.”

“No, it wouldn’t,” insisted Nina. “Natasha could still be the killer and Sophie just happened along every time.”

Even I didn’t buy that. It seemed too unlikely. “The important thing is to protect Mars. He has to be careful.”

“I’ve tried to warn him about Natasha but he won’t listen. Vicki and I are taking turns staying with him.”

If I knew Mars, that wouldn’t last very long. He wouldn’t be keen on being babysat by his brother and sister-in-law. “What’s the room number? While you two snoop down here, I’ll have a word with him.”

I took the elevator to the fourth floor and knocked gently on the door.

Vicki opened it. Relief swept away the worried look on her face. “Sophie. Oh, thank goodness. We’re expecting that vile Detective Kenner.”

The stress of the past few days showed in the bags under her eyes. I reached for her hand. Her fingers felt icy.

“I don’t understand what’s happening,” she said. “I think the police suspect Andrew of poisoning Mars. He would never do that.”

“Of course not. The Winston brothers always stick together.” I was about as enthusiastic as Vicki about seeing Kenner, though. I’d have to make this quick. “I came up to see how Mars is doing.”

“Hi, Soph!” he called from another room. “C’mon in.”

All things considered, Mars looked better than Vicki. Healthy color flushed his cheeks as he crossed to the sofa. He wore a cream-colored crewneck sweater and faded green trousers. If I hadn’t known about the poisoning, I never would have guessed he’d been ill. He propped his feet on a coffee table and lounged comfortably on the sofa of what appeared to be a two-room suite.

“Nice digs.”

“Natasha pulled some strings. Local celebrity and all that. How’s Mom doing?”

“She’s okay. We’ll all be better once this nightmare is behind us.” I perched on the sofa. “Mars, there’s something you need to know.”

His jaw tightened, an involuntary movement that he made when expecting bad news.

“Someone murdered a private investigator the day before Simon was killed. The police think there’s a connection.”

“I read about it in the paper.”

I swallowed hard. “Natasha had business dealings with the dead PI. She hired him to do something for her.”

Mars rubbed his hand across his mouth. “Are you absolutely sure? How do you know that?”

“I saw a check she wrote for his services.”

“What would she need a PI for?” Mars asked.

“I was hoping you’d know the answer to that. Who did Natasha want Otis to check out?”

The color faded from his cheeks.

“Was it me?” I asked. “Did she hire Otis to follow me?”

Mars blinked at me. “Why would she do that?”

“The day he was murdered, Otis had my picture and name on the dash of his truck.”

“Sophie, that’s awful. I had no idea.” He sat up and scooted toward me. “You should know that Natasha lawyered up the night Simon died.”