Dog Tags

CHAPTER 42

“ANDY WANTS TO TALK TO YOU,” LAURIE SAYS. She says this at the end of a forty-five-minute conversation with Cindy Spodek, the result of my asking her to make the call. During all of this time she has ignored the fact that I was pacing and looking at my watch as a way of letting her know I was impatient to get on the phone.

After a pause, Laurie says, “He said to tell you that he just wants to chat with a dear old friend, but between you and me there’s a one hundred percent chance that he’s lying.”

After another pause, Laurie turns to me and says, “Cindy said to tell her dear old friend to kiss her dear old ass.”

I walk over and take the phone from Laurie. “Cindy, how are you?”

“Do you realize the only time you ever talk to me is when you want something?” she asks.

Cindy is an FBI agent, working out of the Boston office. We’ve crossed paths on a couple of cases over the years, and in the process she, Laurie, and I have become good friends. She has also become a person I frequently call for information. “Do you have any idea how unfair that is? Or how much it hurts?”

“What do you want, Andy?”

“I didn’t want anything, but now that you’ve unfairly attacked me like this, I feel a need to lash back at you.”

“By asking me for information.”

“Exactly. There was an explosion in Iraq last year in which eighteen people, including the Iraqi oil minister and two American businessmen, were killed.”

“Iraq?” she asks. “Now you’re becoming an international pain in the ass?”

“I’m a citizen of the world. I just read the Defense Department’s investigative report on the incident, which takes almost seven thousand pages to say nothing.”

“So?”

“So I’m assuming there’s an FBI report on it as well. It’s standard operating procedure for the bureau to be called in when American citizens are murdered, no matter where it happens. I want to know what it says.”

“You think I’m going to turn over an FBI report to you?” she asks. “You’ve got balls the size of ocean liners.”

“And you’re a delicate flower. Come on, Cindy, I can get it anyway by petitioning the court, but it will take too long. And I’m fine if you read it and give me the highlights.”

“That’s big of you,” she says.

“And that’s a transparent attempt to get back on my good side. Which may or may not work, depending on what you come up with.”

“Good-bye, Andy.”

“Good-bye, dear old friend.”

I hang up, and Laurie says, “You really do take unfair advantage of her friendship, you know.”

I nod. “True, but she gets something out of it as well. She gets to insult me.”

She smiles. “You almost ready for bed?”

“Is that a serious question?” Nothing could be happening in my life that could make me say no to Laurie when she asks that question. The Super Bowl could be about to start, or I could be standing to give my closing argument to the jury… I’d still say yes and start to take my clothes off.

“Let’s go upstairs.”

We start heading up the steps, followed by Tara and Milo. “I obviously grow more irresistible by the day.”

“I must have a thing for older men,” she says. “The older you get, the sexier I find you.”

“Makes me glad I’m not Benjamin Button,” I say, and then stop halfway up the stairs. “Wait a minute.”

“What is it?”

“I just realized that it’s been a couple of hours since I heard the sound of chewing. Where’s Marcus?”

“He’s not here,” she says. “I gave him an assignment.”

“I thought we agreed he would guard the house while Milo is here?”

“I know, but he’s an investigator, Andy, and we need him doing that. I can guard the house; I was a cop, remember?”

I’m not thrilled with this. “But what if you’re otherwise engaged, like you’re going to be in about five minutes?”

“I can multitask, remember?”

I could continue to argue about this, pressing my point that we are better off with Marcus guarding the house. Or I can shut my mouth and get into bed with Laurie.

End of conversation.