Pipehill, Lichfield, Staffordshire. Thursday 23rd Jan. 1800.
To Reuben Wheeldon Esq., Warner Street, Ellesmere, Cheshire.
My dear friend,
You earnestly inquire about the failure of the Works. This failure has happened for want of diligence, and I blame no one but myself for the consequence of having often seen much profusion of expence by an unnecessary consumption of Materials. I beg leave to observe that the longer I live, I every year see more into the reasons why estimates are generally exceeded in the Execution and how impossible it is without repeated proofs from experience to conceive how this can happen in so great a degree.
I think it common Justice that no one ought to suffer for the faults of another. I shall use every means that I can to have the Works efficiently re-established, and no expence attending it shall be charged to the Company. Painful as it is to me to lose the good opinion of my Friends, I would rather receive their Censure for the faults of my head than of my heart.
For my own part, I am harassed beyond endurance and hate the sight of the Post that brings me Letters. I am persuaded that the fault in the distressing affair lies partly at my own door. In my Pride and Zealousness I found it necessary to condemn what they have done as deficient both in honesty and good business. By so doing I have raised a Nest of Hornets about me, and I shall have much difficulty in combating the Prejudices of those who pay heed to their spite.
Now I find myself at odds not only with Mr N., but with Mr P. himself, whose regard it distresses me to lose, but whose bitterness is now turned against me. Outwardly he is all politeness, yet at every turn he seeks to thwart me.
With others of their mind they have set themselves against me. Hate is like a poisonous mineral, which eats into the heart, and I fear where their spite may lead them. Yet I am determined to persevere in my chosen course. Events leave me in no doubt where the true interests of Honesty and Justice lie, though this business may be the ruin of me.
You will easily comprehend, from these particulars, that the circumstances are more desperate than they are generally believed to be. The World has been deceived in that respect; and I scruple not to lay all the ill consequences on my own folly alone.
If you should have no objection to receive me into your house, I propose myself the satisfaction of waiting on you and your family and shall probably trespass on your hospitality for two or three days.
Your friend,