Elegy

FIFTEEN Rehearsing

Gemma had meant to go home after the final show on Sunday. She’d made tentative plans with Harper to go for a swim later today, and she was excited to get out and do that. Besides, she’d spent enough time lingering around here last night.

But as she was leaving, she heard the clattering of boards and the sound of Daniel’s grunting. She’d climbed up the back stairs of the theater, so she came up backstage. There was Daniel, in a flannel shirt and ripped jeans, taking down the set.

“Working overtime?” Gemma asked as she walked toward Daniel, her footfalls echoing through the empty theater.

“You know me. I can never get enough.” He glanced back at her with a grin.

“Where’s everyone else?” Gemma asked, referring to the rest of the crew who had been working on the sets and production. Daniel had been the head of it, but he hadn’t done it all alone.

“I sent them home. I’m trying to salvage some of this for other plays or odd jobs, so I figured I might as well do it myself.” He was working at pulling nails out of a fake awning above a plywood doorway, and he looked back at Gemma.

“Want any help?” Gemma asked, looking up at Daniel.

“Sure.” He motioned to another awning.

Gemma had to use a stepladder to reach it, but she had no problem pulling the nails out from the wood. She got the other two awnings down in the time it took Daniel to get one down, and under her breath, she began to hum.

“What has you in such a fine mood this morning?” he asked, referring to the cheerful tune on her lips.

“I’m not…” She paused, hesitant to tell him about Alex, but then decided to go for it and hurried ahead. “I got back together with Alex last night.”

“Oh yeah?” Daniel glanced back at her. “Well, that explains it.”

“That’s it?” she asked uncertainly.

He turned to face her. “What do you mean?”

“You’re not gonna lecture me on how it’s a bad idea or it’s dangerous or how I should be focused on things like breaking the curse?” she asked, and Daniel laughed, surprising and confusing her.

“I assumed you were as focused on breaking the curse as anyone possibly could be,” he said. “And you and Alex want to make a go out of it, then why would I try to stop you?”

Gemma shrugged. “I know Harper would.”

“Yeah, well, Harper tried to convince me it was bad news getting involved with her, and look how that turned out,” Daniel said, turning his attention back to the set.

“Are you glad that you’re with Harper?”

“Yeah, of course I am,” he answered without hesitation.

“You don’t regret any of it? Not even after everything you’ve been through?” Gemma asked.

“No. I mean, yeah, it would be nice if monsters didn’t try to kill me, but the situation is what it is.” He’d pulled enough nails free from the plywood as he spoke. “I’m not gonna stop caring about Harper because things get rough and occasionally really weird. I can’t just stop. That’s not how love works.”

When the wall came down, Daniel took one end, and Gemma the other. But really, she didn’t even need his help, and she ended up carrying it on her own, over to the pile with other scrap wood while he went back to pulling out nails.

“For such a little thing, you’re awfully strong,” Daniel commented, as she walked back over to him.

Harper was on the tall side, taking after their mother that way, but Gemma was fairly short and slender. If she hadn’t been endowed with supernatural strength, she probably would’ve struggled with lifting most of the wood on her own.

She waved it off. “It’s the siren thing.”

“But if I understand this right, you’re not as strong as you can be.” He’d stopped what he was doing, holding a hammer loosely in his hand, and faced her.

“What do you mean?” Gemma asked.

“This form, when you’re human.” He motioned to her. “You’re stronger than the average teenage girl, stronger than the average grown man, too, apparently, but it’s not your full potential. Like when Lexi was that bird thing, she was much stronger than you. Or is that just because she was older?”

“I think it’s a combination of both,” Gemma admitted. “Lexi knew how to use the power she had, and the monster is stronger than our human form.”

“So … why don’t you use it?” Daniel asked.

Gemma shook her head and looked away from him. “It’s complicated.”

“I’m sure it is, and I don’t mean to rag on you, but Lexi almost killed us,” he said without any accusation. “She was actually really close to killing me, but if you had been that monster, you would’ve done a hell of a lot better in a fight.”

“I know, and I am so sorry that you were in that situation,” she said, rushing to apologize again.

“Gemma, I’m not trying to make you feel bad.” He stepped closer to her. “I’m just saying that you need to do everything you can to protect yourself and the people you care about. If Harper had been up there instead of me, Penn wouldn’t have killed Lexi to protect her like she did with me. Harper would be dead now.”

Gemma’d already thought of that, and she swallowed hard. “I know. But you don’t know what it was like. When I was the monster, I wasn’t in control of myself at all. It took me over and I couldn’t think straight and…”

“I know that you hurt someone,” he said softly. “But Lexi seemed in control of herself when she was the monster. And if Lexi could do it, and she was a reckless idiot, you can do it.”

“I know that I need to practice, but I’m just afraid of what could happen when I lose control.”

“You’re stronger than this, Gemma,” Daniel said in a confident way that made her look up at him. “You can get ahold of this, you can be in control of your powers. You just have to try.”

“Like … right now?” Gemma asked.

“Why not? We’re alone in an empty theater.” He gestured widely at the stage. “If you rampage, you’ll break a few seats and tear some curtains. Nothing I can’t fix.”

“What if I hurt you?” Gemma asked.

“You won’t.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I just am.”

She shook her head. “I don’t even know how to.”

“How did you make the wings happen before?”

“I was scared as hell.” Gemma remembered the attack at the sirens’ house with perfect clarity. “I thought Lexi was going to kill you, and it just happened. My fingers and teeth have changed before, too, but it’s only when I feel threatened, or I’m really, really hungry.”

“Okay. So recapture that emotion. I can threaten you if you want,” Daniel offered.

“No,” she said quickly. “That doesn’t seem safe.”

“How about this? Think of Penn or that horrible new siren Liv,” he suggested. “And they’re going after Harper or Alex. Hell, they’re going after both of them. Really picture them hurting the people you care about most.”

Gemma closed her eyes and tried to will herself to feel the terror she’d felt before. In her mind, she pictured Liv’s wicked smile and Penn’s shifting into the bird-monster. And then she imagined them going after Alex and Harper, which wasn’t hard to do since she’d already imagined it a hundred times before.

Normally, she’d try to ease her panic and get the images out of her mind. She’d do something proactive, like researching the scroll or going swimming to clear her mind, but now she let it linger. She made herself feel the absolute terror and rage at the thought of losing the people she loved the most.

And then she began to feel it. The flutter across her skin, radiating all over her body. It was a subtle, pleasurable feeling. It seemed focused in her hands, as an odd, stretching sensation passed over them.

When she opened her eyes, she could visibly see it happening. Her fingers were elongating, the skin stretching unnaturally. Her nails even began to grow, changing color from white to a dark brown as they thickened and began to hook like talons.

“Oh my gosh. My fingers…” Gemma gasped, watching her hands transform.

She’d been afraid that if she stopped focusing her energy on transforming, that it would stop, but now, since she was terrified about losing control, the fear seemed to push it on. Her fingers continued to grow until they were nearly a foot long. The skin stretched tight on her hands and arms, making the bones stand out more sharply.

“Does it hurt?” Daniel asked, peering at her hands.

“No, it tingles … and it feels kinda good, actually,” she admitted.

The flutter continued over her skin and all throughout her. Heat surged through her arm muscles, but even that felt oddly good. Her heart seemed to beat differently, and it felt as if it were expanding her chest, pounding more forcefully and pumping blood more rapidly through her veins.

When her wings had torn through her back during her final encounter with Lexi, that had been incredibly painful. She’d felt the skin ripping. But this was much different.

“That is so weird,” Daniel said, sounding in awe of her transformation as her arms began to stretch and grow.

“My mouth itches,” Gemma said, and the words came out with a lisp when her tongue hit against the sharp points of her new teeth.

The roof of her mouth was burning hot, and she could taste blood, but she wasn’t sure if it was from her gums as new teeth tore through or from her tongue’s hitting against them.

“Ugh.” Gemma groaned. “It’s hard to talk with these teeth.”

Daniel stared at her with wide eyes. “Okay, that is really gross.”

“You’re not helping,” Gemma said dryly.

Thankfully, she couldn’t see herself, but she knew exactly how Lexi and Penn looked when they changed. They had a mouthful of hundreds of razor-sharp teeth poking jaggedly out of their mouths, so their lips were stretched around them in a thin, red line.

Gemma could feel the tightness of her lips, and her vision changed, becoming clearer as her eyes changed into the yellow, birdlike eyes of the monster. She could even hear the bones in her face cracking as they shifted and moved to accommodate a much larger mouth.

“I’m sorry, but…” Daniel shook his head. “That’s just … not pretty at all.”

When the bones stopped cracking, she realized she could hear much clearer than she had before. The sound of Daniel’s breath and even the sound of his heartbeat echoed in her ears.

And the transformation seemed to make her hungrier. Not ravenous like she’d been before, when she’d killed a man, but it was gnawing inside her, spreading out from her stomach with insistent electricity.

“Should I do more?” Gemma asked, and her voice had taken on that slightly demonic tone she heard when Lexi and Penn spoke in this form.

“Can you do more?” Daniel asked.

Her legs hadn’t shifted at all, and her wings hadn’t broken out yet, so she knew she could go further. But she wasn’t sure that she should. “I don’t know.”

“How does it feel? Are you still in control?” Daniel asked.

“Yeah. I mean, I’m not eating you, but I do feel hungrier.” She breathed in deeply, trying to calm the hunger growing inside her, but it only made things worse. “And you smell…”

“I smell?” Daniel asked, confused.

“Yeah, like…” Gemma didn’t know how to explain it. Nothing on earth had ever smelled the way he did just then. “Delicious.”

“Seriously?” His eyes widened. “You want to eat me right now?”

“Kinda, yeah. I can hear your heart beat, and it’s like…” Gemma closed her eyes and sang along with the melody of his heart. “Da da dum, da da dum.”

“Holy shit,” Daniel said in complete awe. “Your voice was really beautiful just then.”

“Really?” Gemma asked, and looked at him.

He didn’t have that glassy stare in his eyes the way humans did when they were under the siren spell, but there was something not quite right about his gaze, like he was captivated by her.

“Yeah.” He shook his head, trying to clear it. “I’m not under your spell, at least not the way I think normal guys would be, but yeah, you had me kinda entranced just then.”

“You have no idea how hungry I am. I think I need to eat soon.” She tried to lick her lips but could only run her tongue along her teeth. Her stomach growled, an audible, angry sound, and her body trembled with hunger. “Well … maybe I could eat now. You could get someone, right? Some horrible person?”

“Some horrible person? Where would I find some horrible person?” Daniel asked, and he’d taken a step back from her.

Her back and ribs began cracking as her torso stretched out, and she felt herself losing her sense of reason. Her thoughts were getting blocked out, and she could barely remember the name of the guy standing in front of her. She didn’t know where she was, and she didn’t care. The only thing that mattered was the burning hunger inside her.

“I don’t know. But you should totally find them right now.”

“Gemma … you’re changing more.” He stepped back again and stared up at her, now that she was towering over him. “I think you need to get yourself under control really fast.”

“I will,” she hissed. “I just need to eat.”

“Your voice just now, it was not pretty at all. You’re losing yourself, Gemma,” Daniel said forcefully. “Let’s bring it back.”

There was a blackness coming over her thoughts, and she knew she was losing control. She knew that the monster was taking over, and soon she’d be run by some kind of primal instinct that she didn’t trust or understand.

“Gemma,” Daniel said, keeping his voice calm but firm. “Gemma, you need to get under control.”

“Daniel,” she said, mostly because she just wanted to say his name. She wanted to make him a real person who she knew and cared about and not a meal she’d have for supper.

The sound of the door opening at the front of the theater echoed, and she cocked her head, listening for the sound of a new heartbeat. Maybe this would be someone she could eat.

“Shit. Gemma. Somebody’s coming.” He held his hands up to her and tried to push her back behind the curtain but without really touching her. “Get back.”

“Daniel…” She moaned but moved back, hiding behind the velvet curtain.

“Hello, Daniel,” the director, Tom, said in his lilting British accent. “I thought you’d be gone by now.”

The thought of devouring Tom or Daniel, or maybe both, was consuming her. The way their blood would taste warm and sweet down her throat. It took all her strength to keep herself hidden behind the curtain.

Tom sounded especially delectable. Her emotional attachment to Daniel helped keep some of her hunger at bay, but she didn’t feel anywhere near as strong about Tom. He might not even be a nice guy. She’d seen him yell at Kirby before.

When she’d killed Jason, it had been in a blackout, and she thought she’d forgotten everything about it. But now, a lingering memory surfaced—the way his heart had tasted, and how warm and sweet his blood felt going down her throat.

And then she didn’t even need to justify killing Tom. Reason was leaving her entirely, and all she wanted to do was eat.

“No, yeah, the set’s just about down,” Daniel said in a nervous rush. “What are you doing here? Do you need help? What’s going on?”

“I just left something in the office,” Tom said. “I’ll be gone in a jiffy.”

Instead of rushing out to rip him open, Gemma clung to the last scrap of reason still remaining and put her long arms over her head. She crouched, trying to make herself as small as possible, and wished she could disappear into the floor. The hunger and monster were still fighting to dominate her.

She heard his footsteps retreating, then she realized she couldn’t hear anything anymore. Not his heartbeat or even Daniel’s. The flutter of her skin had stopped, and for a horrible moment, she thought she’d given in to the monster and blacked out like she did the last time. She fully expected to open her eyes and find herself covered in blood.

But then she realized the hunger was still there. Not as strong as it had been a moment ago, but much stronger than it had been before she’d started shifting into the monster.

“Gemma?” Daniel asked. “Are you okay?”

She lifted her head to see him standing over her. She glanced down, and her hands were back to normal. When she ran her tongue along her teeth, they felt flat and ordinary.

Her tank top had ripped when her torso had stretched out, so her purple bra was showing, and Gemma quickly crossed her arms over her chest and stood up.

“Yeah, I’m back to normal,” she said, hoping her voice sounded even and not as tremulous as it felt. “I ripped my shirt.”

“Here.” Daniel took off his flannel shirt, revealing a T-shirt, and Gemma pulled it on, covering herself up.

“So that wasn’t such a good idea,” Gemma said.

“No, you did good,” he said, but he didn’t sound that convincing. “I mean, the first time you transformed, you completely lost control. This time, you almost did, but you stayed true to yourself. Nobody got hurt. You just need to practice more.”

“Maybe I should stick with safer things, like learning to control my wings for now,” Gemma said.

“Maybe,” he agreed with some reluctance. “But I think if you want to beat this curse, and you want to keep the people you care about safe, you’ll have to harness who you are. You’ll have to learn to fight.”

“I know.” She sighed. “And thanks for being so cool about everything.”

“Did I seem cool? Good. Because you’re a really hideous monster, like so gross.”

She smirked. “Thanks, Daniel.”

“Anytime.”

Daniel went back to work taking down the set, and she continued to help him, but she didn’t let on how unnerved she really was. The hunger was even stronger now than it had been before, and Gemma realized dismally that her body would insist on eating even sooner.

With September rapidly approaching, Gemma had only a couple more weeks until her cravings were completely out of control. And that was assuming, of course, that Penn didn’t kill her first.