Elegy

FIFTY-EIGHT Fragmentary

The picture lay on the top of her comforter next to her, and Gemma stared down at it. Her notebook was open, and she was supposed to be writing in it, but she kept staring at the picture of her, Harper, and their mom. In the warm light of her bedside lamp, that photo had become the most distracting thing in the world.

“What are you doing?” her dad asked, poking his head in her room.

Gemma was quick to flip the notebook shut, hiding anything she’d written, and she smiled up at him. “Just journaling.”

“I didn’t know you still did that.” Brian walked over and stood next to her bed.

“I do.” She shrugged. “Sometimes.”

“I’m really glad that you’re home and you’re safe.” He reached down, stroking her, then he bent down and kissed the top of her head. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too, Dad.”

He turned to head back out. “Don’t stay up too late. You have school in the morning.”

“I won’t,” she said, then just before he left, she added, “I had a really great time today. Thanks for spending the day with me.”

“Me, too.” He smiled, then shut her door and went down the hall to his own room.

After he’d gone, Gemma let out a deep breath and flipped the notebook back open, looking over what she’d written. She went over it several more times, making sure it had everything that she wanted to say.

When she was sure it was perfect, she rewrote it in her most legible handwriting, then gave it one final read-through.

To Dad & Harper—

By the time you read this, I’ll already be gone. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you what was happening, but I didn’t want you to spend our last few days together being frantic and worried. I’ve tried everything I can think of to break the curse, so I thought it would be better if we could just enjoy the little time we had left. And I did. I enjoyed the last couple days we spent together more than you’ll ever know. They were some of the best days of my entire life.

I’m sorry for everything I’ve put you both through. No other girl in the world is lucky enough to have a family as supportive and loving and amazing as you guys.

I want to you know that I’m not scared or upset. I made my peace with this. I’m only sad that I won’t get to see you guys more. Wherever it is that sirens go after they die, I know that I’ll be missing you.

I love you forever and always.

—Gemma

With the letter finished, she set it on her bed, next to the picture. She’d put on her pajamas so that her dad would think she was going to bed, but she changed out of them and put on her favorite dress. If she had to die, then she wanted to do it as much on her terms as she could.

Once her dad was asleep, she laid everything out on her bed the way she wanted him to find it. She almost put on shoes, but then realized that where she was going, she wouldn’t need shoes or her cell phone. So she left them both beside her bed, and as quietly as she could, she crept down the stairs and out the front door, into the summer night.