Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine. Vol. 101, Nos. 3 & 4. Whole Nos. 610 & 611, March 1993

Carlotta Green was the office whiz at Nabor, Boyle & Grind,

A firm of three male lawyers with one chauvinistic mind.

She typed their briefs, soothed client beefs, filed mail and sent out faxes,

She brewed their coffee, kept their books — she even did their taxes!

In Lotta Green, the partners knew, they’d truly found a pearl

And so were always fulsome in their praises for “our girl,”

Except when bonuses were due or other plums numerical,

When Lotta’s role was understood as being “strictly clerical.”

Thus made aware that no one else would fend for “li’l ol’ me,”

Carlotta used her expertise to found a company:

As president of “Lilolme, Inc.,” she bogus bills submitted,

Which as bookkeeper for the partnership she efficiently remitted.

For 20 years she kept their books, for 20 years she cooked them,

Chuckling at “the silly sheep” as she routinely rooked them.

And then one day she’d had enough (of slavery and of plunder)

And so retired abruptly on a red-eye flight Down Under.

Today she basks beside the pool at a South Pacific spa,

Beyond the sound of dictaphones, beyond the reach of law.

A waving palm, a gentle breeze, an ice cold gin and tonic,

You’d think our Lotta had it all, and yet — oh twist ironic!—

Her world is far from paradise beneath that tropic sun;

Without her foolish flock to fleece, Carlotta’s shorn of fun.