Emotional Intelligence

APPENDIX E

The Self Science Curriculum

Main components:

• Self-awareness: observing yourself and recognizing your feelings; building a vocabulary for feelings; knowing the relationship between thoughts, feelings, and reactions

• Personal decision-making: examining your actions and knowing their consequences; knowing if thought or feeling is ruling a decision; applying these insights to issues such as sex and drugs

• Managing feelings: monitoring "self-talk" to catch negative messages such as internal put-downs; realizing what is behind a feeling (e.g., the hurt that underlies anger);finding ways to handle fears and anxieties, anger, and sadness

• Handling stress: learning the value of exercise, guided imagery, relaxation methods

• Empathy: understanding others' feelings and concerns and taking their perspective; appreciating the differences in how people feel about things

• Communications: talking about feelings effectively: becoming a good listener and question-asker; distinguishing between what someone does or says and your own reactions or judgments about it; sending "I" messages instead of blame

• Self-disclosure: valuing openness and building trust in a relationship; knowing when it's safe to risk talking about your private feelings

• Insight: identifying patterns in your emotional life and reactions; recognizing similar patterns in others

• Self-acceptance: feeling pride and seeing yourself in a positive light; recognizing your strengths and weaknesses; being able to laugh at yourself

• Personal responsibility: taking responsibility; recognizing the consequences of your decisions and actions, accepting your feelings and moods, following through on commitments (e.g., to studying)

• Assertiveness: stating your concerns and feelings without anger or passivity

• Group dynamics: cooperation; knowing when and how to lead, when to follow

• Conflict resolution: how to fight fair with other kids, with parents, with teachers; the win/win model for negotiating compromise

SOURCE: Karen F. Stone and Harold Q. Dillehunt, Self Science: The Subject Is Me (Santa Monica: Goodyear Publishing Co., 1978).