Endless

Always Hope

“This is weird. I’m sorry, it’s just too weird,” Liam said, pacing back and forth in front of me near the foot of the bridge on Saturday morning. I rubbed my eyes and tried my best to focus. I hadn’t been able to sleep in my eerily quiet house, so I’d spent half the night freezing my butt off at Pete’s bedside, waiting for him to wake up. I stifled a yawn. It was Liam’s first ushering, and he needed someone to guide him.

He glanced over his shoulder at his charge, Nick, who was gabbing with Fisher about his latest video-game obsession while Fisher did his best to keep up. Over at the bridge, Kevin waited while his latest charge walked through the mist.

The dawn had come today with still no sign of the sun, but the air was noticeably warmer. Instead of bundling into jeans and sweats, everyone was wearing shorts and long-sleeved T-shirts as we gathered again at the bridge, bent on getting as many people across to their final destinations as we could. Early that morning, Krista had ushered the kids over, and every last one of them had gone to the Light. Since then, the area at the base of the bridge had taken on an almost festival-like feel, with a dozen cars parked in a ragged circle, and groups of people chatting around coolers and bags of snacks. Someone’s radio played fifties tunes through a car window, and a wind sock had been tied to the antenna of Bea’s Jeep, its colorful stripes whipping in the breeze.

“I know. The first time is hard,” I said, touching Liam’s arm. He was wearing a bright red T-shirt with a white cross on the front and the word LIFEGAURD emblazoned above it. “But you’re sending him to a good place. He led a good life. He’s supposed to be there.”

Liam nodded, but I wasn’t entirely sure he was hearing me. His eyes were unfocused as he looked at the damp ground beneath our feet. I could only imagine what he was thinking. He’d been here just a few days, and he’d had so much thrown at him, most of it negative, terrifying, uncertain. Deep inside he was probably still wondering if we were crazy. If this was some kind of massive joke. My heart went out to him. It wasn’t that long ago that I felt the exact same way.

“But what about Lalani? Won’t she realize he’s gone? Won’t she be worried about him?” he asked.

I shook my head. “She won’t remember him. It’s part of the Juniper Landing magic. Until she gets to the Light, too, she won’t even remember having had a brother.”

Liam snorted a laugh. “This is insane. It’s just insane.”

“Liam, listen,” I said, reaching for his hand. He stared down at my fingers as if he’d never seen fingers before. “What we do here, it’s important. It’s a calling. A mission. When we send these souls on to their final destinations, we’re helping maintain the balance of the universe.”

I could hear Tristan’s voice in my head, telling me the same thing just a couple of weeks ago, trying to convince me.

“I know things have been out of whack since you’ve been here,” I said, then leaned in closer. “They’ve actually been out of whack since I’ve been here, so I understand you might not exactly trust this place. But I’ve seen the system when it’s working, and I know it’s been working for a long time. It’s up to us to get it back on track.”

Liam sucked in a breath at the same moment the loud, sucking noise split the air and the mist around the bridge swirled. He laughed at the coincidence. Our walkies zipped to life. It was Joaquin’s voice this time on the other end.

“It’s pointing north. Over.”

I smiled slightly. Every time I heard those words it was like a tiny piece of my shattered heart was working its way back into place. Frustratingly, Pete was still unconscious, but it was looking more and more like he’d been working alone. With him locked up safely in jail, the problem was solved. At least this particular problem, anyway. But hopefully Dorn was right. Now that we knew the ushering process was back to normal, everyone could focus on getting my dad, Darcy, and the others out of the Shadowlands.

“New guy! You’re up!” Fisher shouted, clapping his massive hands together.

“You can do this,” I told Liam. “You’re a good person. I know you can do it.”

Liam nodded. “Thanks, Rory. I’m…I’m gonna try.”

He pushed his hands into the pocket of his plaid shorts as he walked over to join Nick. His charge turned to him with a trusting smile, his perfect white teeth practically beaming against the gray sky around us and the fog ceiling overhead. He tipped his head toward Liam as he followed him to the bridge. Whatever Liam was saying to him, it wasn’t causing him any sort of alarm. And after Liam handed him the coin, Nick reached out to shake his hand.

I felt a hitch in the back of my throat as Nick crossed the threshold of the bridge and Liam waved good-bye, thinking of the night I’d said good-bye to Aaron, how happy I’d been, how Tristan and I had shared our first real kiss.

And then everything had fallen to crap.

Gravel crunched on the road, and I turned to see Tristan’s SUV bouncing its way up the hill. My heart started to pound at the sight of it, and I automatically reached up to smooth my hair behind my ears. The sucking sound filled the air again, and Joaquin’s voice rang out.

“It’s pointing north! Yeeha!” There was a pause and then a crackle. “Sorry. Over.”

Everyone laughed. Liam loped over to me just as Tristan stopped the car and slammed the door behind him. He’d showered, finally, and his blond hair hung like a shiny, healthy curtain over his blue eyes. He smiled tentatively at me as he stopped to talk to Fisher. I tore my eyes away from him long enough to hug Liam.

“Good job. See? I knew you’d be fine.”

“Thanks,” Liam said, blushing. “As long as he went the right way, I’m cool.”

“Hey, guys.”

Tristan jogged over to us, rubbing his hands together. The sleeves of his light blue shirt were loose on his arms, and I realized he’d lost some weight during his exile. His jeans were hanging lower than usual, and there was a sharp indent to his cheeks.

“Hey,” I replied, oddly shy.

“You guys, we have a problem,” Lauren announced, speed-walking over to join us.

“Why am I not surprised?” I said under my breath.

“Sorry.” Lauren bit her lip. “The thing is, we’re running out of untainted coins. If we can’t use any of the ones we got while Pete was still on the loose, we’re kind of screwed.”

“How many do we have left?” Tristan asked.

“I have two. Fisher has one. Kevin has one, and as far as I know, that’s it,” Lauren said. “Krista used most of them sending the kids across this morning.”

I sighed. “Well, then we’re just going to have to take it slowly. And it’s going to have to stay crowded around here for a while longer.”

“That sucks,” Lauren said, tucking her shiny black hair behind her ears as she looked back at the bridge. “Just when things were getting back to normal.”

I gritted my teeth. I was getting sick of people saying that when my sister and father and Aaron and the others were still stuck in the Shadowlands, but I didn’t say anything. I knew she just wanted to feel safe again, to feel secure.

“We’ll figure it out. We always do,” Tristan assured her. He glanced at Liam. “Was that your first?”

“Yep. Weird,” Liam said. “But Rory was a good coach.”

Tristan’s face lit up and my whole body responded. There was nothing like a proud smile from Tristan. “Yeah? Why am I not surprised?”

I grinned in reply.

“Told you,” Tristan said. “Everything’s gonna be okay.”

“What the hell are you people doing up here?”

A chill raced down my spine and my eyes locked with Tristan’s. I turned around slowly to find Sebastian Tse skidding down a reed-covered embankment toward us, his sister right on his heels.

“I thought the mayor dealt with these guys,” Lauren said through her teeth.

“Apparently not well enough,” Tristan replied, stepping in front of us.

“Where did that kid just go?” Sebastian demanded, throwing an arm out toward the bridge as he confronted Liam. “Why did you send him over that bridge by himself?”

Liam was the color of cooked lobster. “I…um…we—”

“Don’t,” Tristan said curtly. My heart was in my throat.

“Don’t even try lying to us,” Selma said, standing next to her brother, her clear blue eyes scanning our faces. “We talked to the people at our boarding house. They keep telling us about things that happened—things we should remember—like a ferry sinking? They say we were there, but neither one of us remembers it.”

“How is that possible?” Sebastian said, seething, his nostrils wide as he advanced on Tristan, clearly picking him out as the leader. “What have you people done to us?”

“Why don’t you let us give you a ride back to town?” Tristan suggested as Fisher and Kevin walked up behind him.

“Why don’t you start explaining?” Sebastian shot back.

Tristan reached out a hand and gripped Sebastian’s shoulder, looking him in the eye.

“Everything’s fine,” he said in that soothing tone I knew so well. “There’s nothing sinister going on here—I promise you.”

I watched Sebastian’s shoulders start to relax as he looked deep into Tristan’s eyes. Slowly, Tristan worked his magic on Sebastian until every ounce of his tension and doubt had been ironed away. I remembered vividly what it had felt like the first time Tristan had used his soothing power on me—how peaceful the whole world had become—and I almost felt jealous of Sebastian.

Supposedly every Lifer had this power, but Tristan was the only person I’d ever seen use it.

“You guys have had a rough few days,” Tristan said. “Why don’t you let Fisher drive you back? It’s a long walk, especially with the mud and the downed trees.”

“No way,” Selma said, crossing her skinny arms over her chest. “We’re not leaving here until—”

“It’s just a ride, Selma,” Sebastian said, lifting a shoulder. “What’s the big deal?”

Her jaw dropped, but when Sebastian smiled at her, her indignation quickly faded.

“Okay,” she said finally. “If you say so.”

Tristan clapped Sebastian on the back as he and Fisher headed for the van, Selma trailing behind.

“Radio Joaquin,” Tristan said to Kevin, sliding his hands into his pockets. “Tell him we’re sending the Tses down to see the mayor again.”

“On it,” Kevin said, turning away.

I took a deep breath and blew it out. Crisis averted. For now, anyway.

“Um, guys? Shouldn’t they not have remembered Nick?” Lauren pointed out. “The second he went over the bridge, he should have been forgotten by the visitors.”

A flash of uncertainty tightened Tristan’s face. “Maybe it was because they actually saw him go over? That hasn’t happened before.”

“Or maybe it’s just one more chink in the system thanks to the unbalance of the universe,” Lauren said.

“We’ll figure it out,” Tristan said, rubbing her back. “Hopefully it’s just a blip.”

“Uh, does that happen a lot?” Liam asked shakily. “People freaking out like that?”

“Not often, but when it does, we take care of it.” Tristan gave a wry smile, then turned to me. “Listen, Rory, can we…go for a drive or something? I mean, if you don’t mind me stealing her away,” he said to Liam.

“No, that’s cool.” Liam pushed his hands into the back pockets of his shorts. “I think I’m gonna walk back to town and shake this off. Maybe find Lalani.”

“You should drive down with Fisher,” Tristan said. “I still don’t like the idea of anyone going anywhere alone.”

“Let me know if there’s anything you want to talk about,” I told Liam. “You know where I live, and there’s always the walkies.”

“Thanks, Rory,” Liam said. He lifted a hand to the others in a wave and jogged to catch up with Fisher. Seconds later, Fisher’s van roared out of our makeshift parking area.

“So. You ready?” Tristan asked, holding his hand out to me.

I glanced uncertainly at Lauren.

“Don’t worry about me. I’ve got a couple more people to usher,” she said, waving us off.

It felt good, just to hear someone say that. To have it not be loaded with terror and meaning. The fog was still clogging up the sky, but with each hour the air grew warmer, and I could practically feel the sun trying to make itself known again.

Things really were getting back to normal. And maybe, with Tristan’s help, I’d find a way to get my family back. I took Tristan’s hand and let him lead me away.