Entwined

Chapter 19

They lay together like long-lost lovers, devouring each other's face with their eyes.

They felt the wild beating of their hearts. They had so much to tell each other, to ask, and yet they could not break from the embrace. Little by little Ruda released her hold on Rebecca, then rolled over to lie on her back. She felt Rebecca shudder.

"No, don't, don't cry, please don't."

It took all Ruda's willpower to let go of her sister. She moved away from the bed and reached for one of the posters on the wall. She turned to Rebecca, holding it up for her to see.

"This is me, Ruda Kellerman."

"I am..." Rebecca's lips trembled. She couldn't say her name.

Ruda held out her hand. "Come. Come with me!"

Hand in hand, they looked at the photographs on the walls. Ruda pointed, speaking softly, in odd descriptive sentences, and then their psychic communication began.

"Chicago, London, Florida..."

Rebecca nodded. Ruda would begin a sentence and Rebecca would finish it.

Their voices took on a childish lilt, and their words were no longer spoken only in English but in a mixture of languages: German, Polish, Czech, even in their own private language. Every movement was mirrored by the other. When Rebecca put her hand to her cheek, Ruda automatically touched hers. They were in a world of their own.

But the outside world was closing in. The showground was a heaving mass of bodies. The parking lot was jammed to the bursting point. There were lines of people waiting to buy ice cream and circus souvenirs. More lines formed by the ladies' and men's toilets, and the mass of ticket-holders surging toward the big tent entrance was four to five abreast.

Luis pushed his way toward the stream of cars. He could still see, about half a mile ahead, the police car with its flashing blue light. He had made up his mind what he had to do and say. He ran toward Inspector Heinz's patrol car.

Torsen was red-faced. Twice he had turned off the flashing light, but Rieckert had shouted that unless they used it, they would not make it in time for the opening parade. Rieckert was as excited as a child, urging Torsen on, poking him in the shoulderblade. "Go on, put the siren on, make them pull over."

Torsen banged the steering wheel. "Look, there are hundreds ahead of us. They won't start the show, it's not due to begin for another three quarters of an hour. We just have to wait like everyone else!"

Freda turned to the backseat. "He's right — we'll get there. They won't start the show before everyone's seated. Look up ahead, you think they won't let everyone inside first? Just sit back and enjoy the fireworks!"

Their car inched forward. It was frustrating to see passersby go past on foot. Then the line came to a complete standstill. Up ahead a car had overheated, and there were roars of laughter and calls of abuse as four young boys tried to push the car over to the side.

Far back in the long line of cars was a taxi. Louis and Helen began to think they should turn back; after all, it was a long shot. Yet Vebekka was looking for her sister Ruda, and a Ruda Kellerman was starring in the circus. There was a good chance...

Helen suggested they get out and walk. Louis agreed, but the driver argued, since he could not turn back. Louis gave him a generous tip, and the well-dressed couple began to hurry alongside the cars.

The rain started, lightly at first, but after a while it began to come down steadily, so now umbrellas added to the crush. Torsen could see Luis Grimaldi coming toward him, and he lowered his window. Luis was soaked, his hair wringing wet, and he was out of breath as he called out:

"Inspector! Inspector!"

Torsen smiled, and turned to Freda. "This is my friend Freda, I think you know Sergeant Rieckert."

Rieckert leaned forward to shake Grimaldi's hand. "I keep telling him to put his siren on, just to get us through the crowds. Will they start on time?"

Grimaldi looked puzzled, but then Torsen waved his tickets. "We have complimentary seats, Mr. Grimaldi, front row. Will everyone get in, do you think?"

"Yes, yes. There are always enough seats or, if not, there's standing room. The show may be held ten, fifteen minutes — it's not usual. So... you are just here for the performance?"

Torsen nodded, slammed his foot on the brake as they almost ran into the back of the vehicle in front. "I am looking forward to seeing your wife's act."

Grimaldi walked away, relieved, and hurried back to the trailer. He churned over how narrowly he had avoided making a fatal mistake: The inspector wasn't coming for Ruda, he was there for the show. He gave a mirthless laugh. As he scraped the mud from his boots, he remembered again Torsen's query regarding Ruda's old boots. He sighed. Best, he told himself, just to ignore it.

Luis banged on the door and let himself in.

The women turned toward him. Ruda smiled. "This is my..."

"Sister," said Rebecca.

Ruda's cheeks were flushed, her eyes brilliant. Her mouth was tremulous, quivering.

They spoke as one: "We are sisters."

Luis found the way they moved together and spoke in the same high-pitched singsong voice disconcerting.

"We are twins."

"Twins," repeated Rebecca. They both lifted their right hand, touched each other's cheek, and laughed.

Luis looked from one to the other. "But — you're not identical."

They sat down at the same time. Crossed their left leg over the right. Ruda leaned forward, Rebecca leaned forward. "We were, but Rebecca..."

"I had my nose done."

Luis poured himself a brandy. When he offered them a drink, they shook their heads and said "No," in unison. For a moment he wondered if they were playing some kind of game.

"Just remember, Ruda, you've got a show to do!"

They talked together, heads very close. They made soft shushing sounds and words he could not make out. Then they both looked toward him.

"Rebecca wants to see..."

"The show."

Their eyes were identical in color. So were their lips, their cheeks.

Luis felt uneasy. "I see the likeness now. I see it."

They nodded, smiling as if very pleased.

Luis looked to Rebecca: "How did you find Ruda?"

Ruda answered. "She went to the church in the city."

"The lights..."

"Yes."

There followed a conversation that Luis could not make heads or tails of. He heard them say the name "Magda," then watched as they both put their hands over their faces and laughed.

Luis leaned forward. "Ruda, keep an eye on the time." She ignored him. Luis got up and looked out of the window. "The lines are thinning out."

Their eyes seemed to follow him around the trailer. He sat down again, then half rose. "Do you want to be alone?"

He saw the way they pressed closer and he sighed, looking at Rebecca.

"Ruda must get ready."

They stared back, with their identical wide eyes. He sipped his brandy. "Where are you from? I mean, do you live in Berlin?"

Ruda answered that Rebecca was staying in a hotel. "Her husband is called..."

They both said "Louis!" and then giggled, bending their heads.

They were beginning to irritate Luis. He drained his glass. "I'll go and check on the boys."

As he opened the door, he asked, almost as an afterthought: "Do you work in a circus, Rebecca?"

"No," said Ruda. "Mother," they both said.

"I'm sorry?" Luis didn't understand.

Ruda said her sister was a mother. Rebecca nodded, and shrugged her shoulders. "I am just a mother."

Luis had his hand on the door handle. He wanted to leave them, and yet there were so many questions he wanted to ask. "Does she know where your parents are? I mean, if they're alive?"

They both looked to him, turned to each other, then back to him.

"For God's sake, stop this! You're acting crazy, Ruda. I mean, can't she speak for herself?"

"Yes," they both said, and Luis yanked the door open.

Then Ruda answered solo.

"She was adopted after the war," said Ruda firmly.

"After the..." Rebecca's voice trailed off.

Luis sighed. It was too much for him. "Well, I'm glad you've found each other." He didn't mean it to sound so hollow, so lacking in warmth, as if they had been apart for only a few hours — not a lifetime. He forced a smile. "You have a whole life to catch up on, I'll leave you alone, but don't forget you have a big show to do, Ruda."

They stood up, hands still held tightly. "Nothing will ever separate us again." Then they turned and held each other.

Luis closed the trailer door behind him. A feeling of dread enveloped him. He knew he should have stayed, made sure Ruda got herself ready.

The rain was pouring down now and Luis had no raincoat. He muttered to himself. It was stupid, all he had to do was turn around, walk back, and get one. But he didn't want to see them again, not just now. He looked at his watch. Then he looked over toward the main tent. A few stragglers stood at the box office now, and the last cars were being directed toward the private parking lot, the attendant in his bright yellow cape making authoritative, sweeping gestures.

Luis passed by the lighted window of his trailer. He peered into it, but the blinds were down. He could see nothing. The laser beams continued to spell out the acts, and he looked up. Suddenly the sky blazed with the words: Ruda Kellerman.

Luis prayed that the reunion would not overwhelm Ruda. He knew just how essential it was for her to have her wits about her. He plodded through the sodden ground and made up his mind that, just in case, he would bring a loaded rifle to the ring tonight. Suddenly he stopped, oblivious to the rain.

"I love her." He said it out loud, to no one.

The realization of how little he really knew about Ruda and of her past shamed him. "I love her," he repeated to the air.

Of course he did. Hadn't he been prepared to tell the inspector that he had killed Kellerman? He could have been in cuffs by now. It was sad that after all the years they had been together, it was only now that he realized just how much he loved her. He shook his head, smiling to himself, and then chuckled.

They would be on the move soon, out of the country. He had time to make up for the bad years. Luis wondered if Rebecca would be coming with them.

"I love my wife," he repeated. Anyone who had witnessed his slow progress from the trailer would have concluded he was drunk, talking away to himself in the rain, without so much as a coat on.

The ground was slippery; Louis held Helen's elbow tightly to ensure that she did not fall. They stepped onto duckboards leading to the administration offices.

At first the secretary thought the baron was trying to get invited to the small champagne party the owners had organized. She asked them to wait while she tried to reach one of the managers.

The baron gave her a winning smile and said that he did not wish to disturb anyone, that he didn't want tickets for the show, but that he wished to speak to Ruda Kellerman.

The girl beckoned the baron over to a map of the trailer park. "There is where she lives, but whether she will agree to see you, sir, I can't say. She is getting ready for the show."

The baron thanked her, and ushered Helen out, back down the slippery boards.

Mike showed off the meat trailer, the freezers, and the massive carcasses to Torsen and his party. Before he left them, Grimaldi had said they could park in the artists' area. Mike had been the one Torsen had first approached to inquire about parking.

As they began to head toward the main entrance, Mike offered to show them a shortcut. He led them behind the trailers, pointing out the ones owned by the big acts, and then offered to show them the meat trailer. Until the show started he had nothing else to do.

Torsen checked his watch, worried he would miss the opening parade, but Mike assured him there was plenty of time. He told them that the "Big Boss" would make sure every single ticket was sold before the parade began. "You always think they'll never get everyone seated in time, but they always do. Maybe five, ten minutes late — never more. Besides, I'll show you the artists' entrance. If your tickets are for the front row, it'll be much easier."

As they peered into the freezers and looked over the cleavers and hammers, Vernon came in, already in costume. He was Mike's assistant, a trainee keeper — the Grimaldis never paid much and Vernon was only eighteen years old. Mike made the introductions, and was about to suggest they follow him to the big top when Torsen asked nonchalantly if Mike had ever met Tommy Kellerman.

Mike said he had seen him the day he was murdered — seen him briefly, up by the lions' cages. Torsen repeated his question to Vernon. Vernon flushed, shrugged his shoulders, and muttered that he was not sure whether he had seen him or not.

"You know he was brutally murdered," said Torsen. "So if you saw him, anything you can tell me could be of great importance. I am heading the homicide investigation."

Mike gave Vernon a warning glance, then checked his watch. "I'd better go change!"

Vernon said that since he was already dressed, he could show Torsen to the tent, and Mike, after another warning look to Vernon, skipped off.

As they hurried across the muddy ground Torsen asked again about Kellerman. Vernon said nothing, holding open the tent flap and instructing them to turn right through the main arena entrance. "I hope you enjoy the show."

Torsen smiled and was about to step inside when Vernon called out to him. He turned. The boy held the umbrella down, the rain glanced off the black-soaked canvas. "I did see Kellerman, sir, but only for a brief moment. He was standing talking to Mrs. Grimaldi, up by Mamon's cage. It was early afternoon on the day he was killed." Vernon was not one hundred percent sure, but no one had deemed him even interesting enough to talk to — so he had the inspector's full attention.

Torsen stepped closer. "Was it a friendly chat?" He felt water trickle down his neck, and inched under the umbrella. Vernon was a little scared, wondering if he should have just kept his mouth shut. "I don't know, I couldn't hear, sir. In fact, I thought at first that he was one of the kids, you know, from one of the school groups. They take them around the cages. She looked as if she was telling him off. She was m one of her moods, Grimaldi was on one of his binges, so he was pretty useless and she'd had to do everything... and the plinths, the new pedestals were wrong. She's got a temper, Mrs. Grimaldi does, and she's always telling the kids off for getting too near the cages, but then I noticed his hat!"

Torsen stepped further under the umbrella. "His hat?"

"Yes, sir, it was a trilby, a black leather trilby."

"How did you know it was leather?"

"Well, I saw it again, in the meat trailer. Well, I think it was his hat — Mike was wearing it."

"Mike?"

Vernon was shaking, sure he had really made something out of nothing. "Yes, sir, the other helper, sir. He said he'd found it in, the meat trailer, but Mrs. Grimaldi took it from him, she said it was her husband's, but it looked like the same hat I saw Kellerman wearing. Dunno why I remembered it, but then everyone around here's been talking about the murder, so it sort of stuck in my mind, you know, wondering if it was him I had seen."

"But you said you did see him?"

Vernon was really nervous now. "Well I don't know for sure if it was Kellerman, sir. Just, well, he wasn't with this circus — I know that. He wasn't with any of the acts, or I would have recognized him."

They heard a loud fanfare, and Torsen looked to the tent.

"The parade is starting, sir, you'd better hurry or they won't let you to your seat."

Vernon sighed with relief when Torsen seemed no longer interested in him, or his theories, but at the same time, thinking it over again, Vernon was sure it was Kellerman he had seen.

Grimaldi had seen them all leaving the meat trailer, had followed Vernon and Torsen toward the big tent and watched them huddle under the umbrella. As Vernon hurried away, he stepped out and caught the boy by his coat.

"I want to know what he asked you. What did he want sniffing around the freezer truck like a stray dog?"

Vernon backed off, terrified.

"He said you'd told him he could park in the artists' car park, then he asked about the cats. Mike brought him in and offered to show him the trailer. That was all, sir."

Grimaldi patted Vernon's shoulder. "I'm sorry, son, just that I'm a bit on edge tonight. It's a big occasion. Have you seen Ruda?"

Vernon said that he had not, and was relieved when Grimaldi started to walk away.

"Oh, Vernon, tell Mike. I'll be watching the cages tonight."

"Yes, sir."

Grimaldi looked back, his eyes narrowed. "You sure that prick wasn't asking questions about Tommy Kellerman?"

"Yes, sir."

"Cats all ready, are they?"

"Yes, sir, I'll double-check them before we go in."

Grimaldi waved his big hand to indicate to Vernon he should carry on with his business. In truth he was not sure what he should do himself. He looked at his watch; there was still a good three quarters of an hour before it was time for Ruda to go on, but she had to be dressed for the parade. He didn't want to go back to the trailer yet, so he walked around, making his way toward the cages. He heard his name called and turned to see Mike waving to him.

"Boss, there's a guy and a blond woman. They've been asking the way to your trailer. They went toward it about two minutes ago.

Grimaldi hurried to Mike. "They say who they were?"

"Yeah, I think the guy was a baron, maybe one of the celebrity guests. There's a bit of a bash in the main conference room over in the administration block."

Grimaldi shrugged. There were always stars at these big openings. He ran his hands through his soaking hair. "Screw 'em. Oh! Mike, in future you want to show any people around the freezer and meat trailers, you get permission, okay, son?"

"Yes, sir."

They walked on to the covered tent where the animals were housed.

"What did he want to go in there for anyway?"

Mike was uneasy. He knew he should have got permission, so he lied. "Oh, he asked us a few questions, you know, if we'd seen Kellerman, Mrs. Grimaldi's ex."

"I know who he was!" snapped Luis.

"It was raining, so we took cover in the trailer."

"What did you tell him?"

Mike wiped his face. "Nothing, sir. I'd better see to the props." He tried to move away, but Grimaldi held on to his arm.

"The cats all settled and in order?" Grimaldi asked.

"Yes, sir, everything's in order."

Grimaldi walked from one cage to the next. As always, the cats filled him with awe. Their wild, menacing beauty affected him deeply. He checked each cage, and then he heard the low heavy growl, the dull rumble. Mamon's eyes glinted, his head hung low, feet splayed out. He sensed the man's fear.

Their voices spoke in unison. "Sasha! Sophia! Jason, Luis..." Four of Ruda's cats had the names of Rebecca's children. They hugged and laughed at the coincidences. Grimaldi hid behind Mamon's cage as the women approached, watching them. They walked in step. But from a distance, Grimaldi could see that Rebecca was just a fraction behind Ruda, as if the movement was not instinctive, but copied. Because Rebecca was so slender she appeared, in the low lights of the animal arena, to be Ruda's shadow.

They had not yet caught up on the lost years, they could not in so short a time. Only sections of each other's lives had been snatched and clutched at. Ruda knew Rebecca was married with four children, Rebecca knew Ruda was married and was an animal trainer. There were many layers to uncover, many questions to ask, but all they wanted now was this closeness. They studied each other, touched each other, to make sure they really were reunited.

Rebecca showed no fear of the cats, only an extraordinary excitement. She wanted to touch them, put her hands through the bars, but Ruda had to hold her back, whispering that it was too soon.

"Too soon, yes, too soon," repeated Rebecca.

Ruda's physical strength made Rebecca weak with adoration. Ruda's powerful body and rough hands made her want to be wrapped in Ruda's arms. Ruda felt Rebecca's need and it awoke in her a gentleness, a protectiveness that made her body tingle. She showed off her animals with pride, wanting Rebecca to see her loved ones, and to see her perform.

"This is everything I dreamed..."

"Yes, you dreamed this, and I want..."

"You to see me, with my children."

"Yes, they are my children," Ruda paused, and gave a strange half laugh. "Sasha, your last daughter is twelve, yes?"

Rebecca nodded. Ruda recalled the pains she had felt at the time of each birth. Sasha's birth pains she remembered most clearly. They coincided with the time she had been told she could never carry a child. As if she understood this, Rebecca clasped her sister's hand. In some ways it was as if they had never been apart. Rebecca accepted Ruda without question. In that one hour, the relationship had reverted to the way it had always been. Ruda was dominant, Rebecca passive. Ruda was born first, she had preceded Rebecca by two minutes.

The music became louder, and Grimaldi watched Ruda lead Rebecca toward the artists' entrance. He was soaked and made his way back to the trailer to change for the show.

The noise was deafening. Torsen couldn't see Freda or Rieckert anywhere. Apologetically, he edged his way through a group of jugglers waiting to enter.

Torsen moved cautiously along the tiers of seats. He stood at the edge of the ring and looked around the audience. He could see walls of lights and thousands of seats. He didn't have his seat number — all he knew was that he was in the front row. He squinted through the semidarkness, searching the sea of faces. Beyond the small ring was the vast main ring, beyond that the third ring. Suddenly the huge big top was plunged into darkness. The crowd murmured, sensing the show was about to begin. The fanfares blared, once, twice: "Ladies and gentlemen, Schmidt's World Famous Circus welcomes you! Three rings, hundreds of artists. We welcome you to a night of unparalleled extravaganza! From Argentina, the world famous bareback riders — The Comancheros..."

Torsen, his eyes at last accustomed to the darkness, made out Freda's and Rieckert's faces at the side of the main ring's entrance. He scurried into his vacant seat just as the horses thundered into the ring.

Freda clasped his arm. "Isn't this exciting? I have never been to a circus before!"

Torsen inched off his wet coat, and Freda moved close to him, slipping her hand through the crook of his arm. Torsen touched her fingers.

"I am glad I asked you to come with me."

She looked in awe at the ring as the Argentinian riders screamed and called out at the top of their voices. Twenty-five horses, groomed and gleaming, galloped around carrying a sparkling banner.

The bareback girls whooped and yelled as they bounced and bobbed, leaping to stand upright on the horses' backs with nothing more than a glittering red ribbon for a rein. The smell of the horses, the sawdust, and the resin added to the excitement.

Torsen was happy. His father had been right. Freda was lovely.

Grimaldi was buttoning the high collar of his clean shirt when he heard the fanfares. He knew exactly how many there would be before the parade ended, and he quickly tucked his shirt into his trousers. Then he opened the bunk seat, and looked over the rifles.

The baron and Helen asked one of the parking lot attendants which one was the Grimaldi trailer. He was taken aback when the man asked: "Where's your pass?"

"I don't have one, I am Baron..."

"Without a pass you can't be in the artists' section."

"I wish to speak with Mr. Grimaldi and his wife Ruda Kellerman. It's very important."

"No way. See the big tent — they'll be in there. I'm sorry, please leave. I can't let you wander around here. Go on through the barrier."

The baron was about to argue when Helen suggested that perhaps they should wait; it was obvious they would not be able to speak to either Grimaldi or Ruda Kellerman now.

"Sir! Mr. Grimaldi!"

Luis turned, quickly hiding the rifle beneath his rain cape.

The attendant ran to Grimaldi. They talked, then the boy pointed back to the baron and Helen.

"I told them to wait, sir. They have no pass, but they said it was important."

Grimaldi walked up to the baron. "What do you want?"

The baron asked if they could talk somewhere in private, but Grimaldi shook his head. "Not before the show. What do you want?"

"It is very important. I need to speak to you about my wife."

"Your wife?" Grimaldi held his hand up to shield his face from the rain.

"Yes. This is Dr. Helen Masters, my wife's doctor. Have you seen Baroness Marechal? We think there may be some connection between her and Ruda Kellerman."

Grimaldi hesitated.

Helen moved closer. "Please help us. She is very sick. We think she may have tried to see Ruda Kellerman."

"Is the woman called Rebecca?"

"Yes!" The baron stepped closer, but Grimaldi moved back sharply. "Is she here? Have you seen her?"

Grimaldi had to shout above the noise of the circus orchestra.

"She came here. She was with Ruda, but I don't know where she is now. Come to the trailer after the show."

"Did you speak to her?" asked Helen.

"Yes, yes I did. She's sick, you say?"

The baron gripped his hands tightly. "This is very important. Please, we must talk to her."

Grimaldi looked back to the tent. "I can't talk to you now, the show's starting. Your wife says she is Ruda's sister; they were together earlier. They said they're twins."

Helen grabbed hold of Grimaldi's rain cape. "Is Ruda Kellerman here?"

"She is about to go into the ring. Look, I don't know what you can do now. I'll try and find her, tell her you're here. Wait at the trailer, the big silver one over there — but after the show. I have to go!"

"Please, please wait — your wife, Ruda—"

Grimaldi backed away, pointed again to his trailer. "Meet me here, after the show."

The baron and Helen watched him hurry away, then stop and turn. He shouted for them to mention his name at the box office, if they wanted to go into the big tent.

Helen and the baron crossed to the box office.

"Louis, we'll do as he said, just wait until the end of the show. We'll buy two standing room tickets, please."

"You will have a very good view, it'll be worth it," said the cashier, and pointed toward the tent. "I'd hurry, the parade's already started."

The artists were lined up, waiting for their cues by the entrance to the ring: red for standby, green for go. The music blared from massive speakers as the orchestra gave each act an introduction. The ringmaster, with his red frock coat, his black silk top hat and whip, was in the spotlight.

Ruda Kellerman waited for her turn to enter. The hectic events both frightened and exhilarated Rebecca; her whole body trembled. Ruda kept tight hold of her twin's hand, describing some of the acts. Anyone close was proudly introduced. "This is my sister!"

Ruda was dressed in a tailored black evening suit, a white silk shirt with heavy ruffles at her neck, and a flowing black cloak lined in white satin. The trousers were skintight, and she wore black polished Russian riding boots. She carried a pair of white gloves and a top hat and smiled broadly, joking with friends as they passed her to enter the ring. Her red warning light flickered. The loudspeaker warned: "Stand by, Ruda Kellerman."

Ruda whispered to Rebecca that any moment it would be her cue. But Rebecca continued to cling to her. Ruda cupped Rebecca's face in her strong hands.

"Just for a moment... watch me!"

"Ladies and gentlemen, the most daring, the most famous, the most audacious, fearless female wild animal trainer in the world... please welcome to Berlin the star of our show. Welcome to Berlin, Ruda Kellerman!.. Ruda Kellerman, ladies and gentlemen!"

Ruda stood with arms raised above her head, her cloak swirling around her. She stood motionless, held in the brilliant spotlight, then strode to the center of the ring. She turned to the right, to the left, bowing low, taking her applause. The cheers had never felt so sweet.

Torsen stared at the confident figure. Having met Ruda, he found it fascinating to see her now. Rieckert turned to Torsen. "She's something else isn't she? I can't wait to see her with the big cats."

Helen and the baron were five rows behind, in the standing room section. Helen could not even see the ring. Louis looked at her.

"I told you. This is a waste of time, we can't see."

Helen beckoned to Louis to follow as she pushed and shoved her way through the crowd.

"Look, Louis, there's four vacant seats in the second row. Why don't we just take a seat — if the ticket holders arrive, then we'll move. Come on."

"From Florida, America's Arabian Nights — the finest Arab horses in the world... the finest horsemen... the Franklynn Brothers!!"

No one stopped them. Louis and Helen now had a perfect view of the center ring. They took their seats. Helen leaned across to the couple sitting next to them and asked if she could borrow their program. Helen looked at it and passed it to Louis.

"Ruda Kellerman is on last, just before the intermission."

Louis held the program at a slight angle so he could read it in the semidarkness. The half-light accentuated his high cheekbones.

"The Bellinis! Please welcome — from Italy — Didi and Barbara Bellini... and their team of dogs!"

Ruda was hurrying around the back of the tent when she saw Luis. She called out to him with a broad smile. "What a house, can you hear them?"

He nodded. As they drew close, he could see her eyes were shining. "I can't wait... I can't wait, Luis! Tonight... I will be the most magnificent, the best..."

She was walking so fast he almost had to jog to keep up with her. She pulled off her white gloves and flicked them at him.

"You know what it means for me to have her here? For her to see me? You know, Luis, we used to make up stories and always, always, Luis, I would say: I am the lion tamer!"

She hurried back to the artists' enclosure, talking nonstop, unbuttoning her cuffs and the buttons on her shirt. Then she stopped and turned to him.

"You made my dreams come true, Luis. Did you know that?"

He had never seen her so happy. She seemed to dance as she hurried on, tossing the cloak to him. "You made my dream come true. I am here, Luis, and my sister is here. My heart, Luis, my heart is bursting!"

"I love you, Ruda."

But she had moved on. With his arms weighed down by her heavy cloak, hat, and gloves, he couldn't keep up with her. He trailed behind like a lackey, tripping, stumbling, and then he watched as Rebecca ran to Ruda. They embraced, Rebecca giving Ruda frantic childlike kisses.

"Rebecca! Wait! Your husband was here looking for you with a woman, a doctor!"

Rebecca stared wide-eyed at Grimaldi. She seemed terrified, but Ruda, impatient to change for the act, drew Rebecca toward the exit.

"Did you hear what I said? I told them to meet us at the trailer... Ruda?"

They ignored Grimaldi and ran out. He saw the attendant stop Ruda and point at Rebecca. No one was allowed to bring guests to the back of the arena unless they had a special pass. Ruda flung a protective arm around Rebecca's shoulders and pushed the attendant out of her way. "She is not anybody, she is my sister!" she said.

Torsen flicked through the program and turned to Rieckert, pointing out when Ruda Kellerman was on. He then put his arm around Freda's shoulders. She was laughing at the clowns who rushed around with a bucket filled with soap suds. The small clown, with his short legs and funny bowler hat, reminded Torsen of Kellerman. It could have been Kellerman — except he was dead and buried. As Torsen watched the diminutive figure tumble around the ring, all the facts he had been gathering began to gnaw at him. He was sure it was Ruda who had walked away from Kellerman's hotel, Ruda who had worn his hat as a disguise. She had lied to him, not once, but many times. She was strong enough to have killed Kellerman. The question was, how in God's name could he prove it?

Everything going on in the ring became blurred as Torsen started to piece together the evidence he had accumulated to date against Ruda.

"The wonders of the animal kingdom... Rahji the Elephant Man!"

Grimaldi had provided Ruda with an alibi, but the young boy, Vernon, had said Grimaldi had been on one of his binges. What if he had been drunk on the evening of the murder? Would he have known what time she came or went? Had Grimaldi lied? And where were the boots?"

"It's the elephants next!" Rieckert shouted, his tie loose, his face flushed.

Torsen grimaced to himself. They did not sleep in the same room. How could Grimaldi give his wife an alibi if he was drunk? Torsen remembered Ruda saying Grimaldi was snoring, that he had kept her awake! So obviously he had been sleeping. Could she — did she — leave the trailer, return... while Grimaldi slept?

Freda clutched his arm as the elephants started to enter the ring. They were within touching distance. Rieckert shouted excitedly to Torsen: "I hope they don't let the lions this close, eh?"

An elephant's trunk swung dangerously close to Torsen, and he pressed back in his seat — much to the delight of Rieckert, who shrieked with laughter. The animal gently placed his front feet on the ring rim: then swirled his massive trunk above their heads. They screeched and cowered as the elephant slowly turned back, and all eight elephants began to waltz.

Freda suddenly sighed.

"You okay? You weren't afraid, were you?" Torsen asked.

"It's sad in a way, isn't it? They are so wonderfully huge, and I don't like to see them looking foolish, dancing. It's not right."

At that moment a baby elephant began to perform what could possibly have been termed a pirouette. The crowd roared its delight. But Freda did not approve. Torsen liked her more and more. He leaned closer.

"If I get rid of Rieckert, would you have dinner with me? Tonight, after the show?"

She nodded, and his grip tightened. She rested her head on his shoulder and he didn't think of Ruda anymore.

Helen was laughing, amused by the antics of the baby elephant. Louis turned to watch her. Her face was lovely, it was as if he had never really noticed it before this evening. He reached over and held her hand.

"You know, I don't think I have ever really said how much I appreciate your kindness, the way you have cared for Vebekka. You must think me a very..."

Helen withdrew her hand. "I think you have been under tremendous stress. I understand, and I hope..."

"I love her, Helen, I always have... I always will."

"Yes, I know." Helen knew no one could take Vebekka's place. He was a weak, delightful man. A charming man who had always found solace in women. Louis had turned to other women to survive. All Louis's infidelities were really substitutions. His weakness was his inability to face reality; instead of seriously trying to help Vebekka, he had others assume that responsibility for him.

"The fearless daredevil Dupres — from Paris, France... no safety net, ladies and gentlemen! The Flying Dupres defy death!"

The main ring darkened as slim, white-clad figures climbed the ropes to the roof of the big tent. Louis watched a young beautiful boy expertly swing the trapeze backward and forward, his eyes on the catcher who dropped down, his arms free, his legs hooked over the bar of the swing. The swing picked up momentum. The boy sprang forward, flying through the air. The swings passed each other, high above the audience's heads, and the crowd gasped as the boy performed a perfect triple somersault, the catcher reaching out with split-second timing to clasp his hands.

Louis looked at Helen. "You know... that is how she makes me feel — that it's up to me to catch her. I almost touch her hands, almost save her, but she slips away, she falls, each time. Helen...?"

Helen put her hand on his. "We'll find her. You'll hold her, and maybe next time she won't tall, if she feels you are strong enough."

"Do you think this Ruda Kellerman is really her sister: It would be an extraordinary coincidence, wouldn't it? That she should be here in Berlin?"

Helen edged closer, whispering: "You know. Rebecca kept on saving. 'It's close, it's very close.' What if 'it' meant her sister was close? I mean if they are twins, then maybe it is likely there is some kind of telepathy between them. She sensed her sister was nearby, but because of what had been done to her, she couldn't bring to the conscious level the fact that she had a sister, and that she might be alive."

Louis gasped along with the crowd as a trapeze artist slipped. But it was a very carefully rehearsed mistake. The tent was silent as the artists prepared for a dangerous jump: springing from the swing onto a high wire in the darkness, a wire not visible to the audience. The man seemed to fly downward and then swung his body around the taut high wire, twelve feet below.

While watching the high-wire act. Helen tried to remember something Rebecca had said. Suddenly she felt her palms begin to sweat. She recalled the incident at the circus in Monaco. Rebecca had attempted to get into the ring — could she have done this because of a telepathic connection to her sister: Helen leaned against Louis.

"Louis, the time Rebecca attacked the circus clown... maybe Ruda Kellerman was with the circus then. Louis?"

But Louis was lost in his own thoughts.

"I wasn't there for her. Helen. I should have found out more about her past, cared more. Now I feel as if I have a second chance.

I hope I am not too late."

Rebecca helped Ruda into her costume, and then changed into trousers and boots herself, and put on one of the boys' red jackets

"Now you don't have to stay by the entrance, you can come right into the ring! Stand outside the cages. Luis will look after you, won't you?"

Luis was not happy about it. He said that Rebecca would be in the way and besides it was dangerous; she might distract Ruda. Ruda dismissed his fears with a wave of her hand. "Nonsense. You take her in, she'll stand by you and then you take care of her."

He shrugged reluctantly.

"But you must go now. I'll take care of Rebecca. Please, you haven't been near the cages."

Ruda nodded, then took Rebecca's hand. "We're ready!"

Grimaldi stood beside Rebecca as Ruda went over to the boys. At last she seemed to be concentrating as she checked the props and cages. She gave a signal for the boys to start stacking the tunnel sections to the entrance. Two more acts and they were on.

Ruda moved from cage to cage. She had changed into tight white trousers, black shiny boots, and a white frilled Russian-style shirt. The simplicity of her costume made her look smaller and more vulnerable. She carried only a short stick. Rebecca stepped forward to follow Ruda, but Grimaldi held her back firmly. "No, no, you must leave her alone now. This is very important, she must get ready."

"Yes, of course!"

Ruda started pacing. Twice she stopped and looked over at Rebecca. She smiled, then asked the boys if the fire hoop was set up, the pedestals stacked. Back to her old self, she went over every detail. Grimaldi felt relieved.

Mike stood by the mass of stacked railings; four circus hands waited for the signal to spring into action. There would be two sets of clowns and jugglers covering the mounting of the cages in the central ring. The main ring would be in darkness as the safety barrier was erected.

Red light on. Mike looked to Vernon. "Stand by... Okay boys, stand by, we got the red light. Red light, Mr. Grimaldi."

"Two minutes for Kellerman's act. Stand by, you have red light... GO GREEN, MISS KELLERMAN, PLEASE STAND BY."

Luis looked at Rebecca. She was shaking; he patted her shoulder.

"When the red light comes on over there, that is our cue to go into the ring. We go in first, then Ruda will get her own red and green light."

In the darkened ring the cages were brought into position, the tunnel erected. The first cage was placed by the trapdoor of the tunnel.

Mike checked the trapdoor and used his walkie-talkie. "Cages in position for tunnel, over..."

"Ladies and gentlemen! Schmidt's is proud to announce for your entertainment tonight, the most famous, the most daring wild animal act in the world. Please remain in your seats. Do not attempt to move from the ringside anywhere near the barriers. Please do not move down the aisles during this act. Any one of these wild animals can kill, please remain seated... Any movement outside the barriers can distract the animals, can endanger their trainer."

The crowd murmured. The excitement became palpable as the orchestra began a slow drumbeat.

Grimaldi got the green light to enter the ring. He picked up his rifle and beckoned for Rebecca to follow. She kept close as he entered the darkened arena, making his way carefully to the far edge of the barrier to take up his "watching" position.

Vernon was already in place opposite Grimaldi, and he lifted his radio set piece. "In position, Grimaldi on the far side with the woman. Eh! Looks like he's got a bloody rifle!"

Mike kept his eyes on Ruda as she paced up and down. He lifted the radio. "He's just showing off, Vern. Okay, we got the red! Stand by for green!"

Ruda pulled on her leather gloves.

"Ladies and gentlemen... Ruda Kellerman!"

"GREEN GO! GREEN GO!"

Vernon withdrew the bolts from the trapdoor leading from the tunnel into the darkened ring. Ruda made her way in the dark toward the open trap from ring to tunnel. She backed into the tunnel, exactly ten paces.

"She's in position, over!"

Vernon heard Mike tell him the cats were released. Bang! Up came the central spotlight, pinpointing Ruda Kellerman running from the tunnel into the center of the ring, while close on her heels came Roja, followed by fifteen more tigers. The crowd murmured. It looked as if the tigers were chasing Ruda into the ring.

The act began. Rieckert gasped: "Holy shit!"

Helen gripped Louis' arm. "My God... look at her, look at her face!"

Louis half rose out of his seat: Ruda could have been Rebecca. Stunned, he couldn't catch his breath.

"My God, they're almost identical!"

Torsen released his arm from around Freda, and stared in astonishment. There she was, surrounded by a mass of cats, so close they seemed to brush against her legs.

Ruda was in full control as she issued commands. In perfect coordination the cats kept up the tight, circular movement.

"Good Roja... Roja good... ROJA BREAK!"

The massive tiger broke to his right. Now the sixteen animals formed two circles as Ruda backed to the barrier and picked up the reinforced ladder. The spotlight spilled over to the barrier, momentarily shining on Grimaldi and Rebecca. Helen stood up. "She's at the side of the ring, Louis. I saw her!"

The man behind Helen pulled on her jacket and told her to sit down. But Louis had seen too. White-faced, he turned to Helen.

"I saw her, too. She's with Grimaldi."

Torsen was on the edge of his seat. He leaned across to Rieckert. "Did you see her? The woman across the ring, on the opposite side?"

Freda turned to Torsen. "What did you say?"

Torsen stared into the ring, and then gasped. "My God! Look what she's doing!"

Ruda was backing up the ladder now. Roja turned inward, the circle getting closer, tighter around the ladder. From her perch, Ruda rocked the ladder dangerously.

"Roja!.. move move... RIGHT... RIGHT! SASHA!.. SASHA DOWN!"

This was the most dangerous part of the sequence. Ruda readied herself for her famous flying leap, the cats forming a tight group in front of her. Grimaldi and Rebecca moved closer to the bars.

"Sasha DOWN."

Grimaldi looked at Rebecca. She was repeating Ruda's commands word for word: "Sasha... Sasha... Sasha!"

Grimaldi looked back to the ring. Sasha was acting up. "DOWN! Sasha. Down, down!" Rebecca said.

Grimaldi grabbed her arm. "Shut up... shut up!" he hissed.

Rebecca turned to him, seemingly unaware of who he was.

"DOWN... DOWN!"

Grimaldi sighed with relief as Ruda sprang forward and lay across the cats' backs. After the cartwheel turn, Ruda jumped back onto her feet. She gave the command to spread out. The applause was deafening. Now the cats were running like a wild pack. Ruda bowed, and commanded the animals to form the chorus dance line.

Sasha was acting up again. This time she refused to back up onto her hind legs. She swiped at Ruda, snarling and growling. Then she began to fight with the tiger next to her. Ruda crossed over to them.

"SASHA, NO... Up, up, UP!"

Rebecca was shaking, repeating over and over: "Sasha... Sasha..."

Vernon became very tense. The cats refused several commands. Instigated by Sasha, fights were breaking out. Sophia, the female at the end, joined in. Sweat streamed off Ruda's face.

Ruda pushed, cajoled, shouted, and ordered. At one point she cuffed Sasha's nose — hard. Sasha lashed out, but at last they were in line, behaving. They began to form the pyramid, then the rollover, as Ruda moved one of the pedestals into the center of the arena. It was a bright red pedestal with a gold fringe. As rehearsed, Roja broke from the row and nudged Ruda from behind. She turned round to face him, shaking her finger, then returned to setting up the next pedestal.

Vernon's eyes were glued on the waiting tigers. At Ruda's command, they all sat back on their haunches, paws waving in the air. Ruda looked as if she were gesturing to each one to keep in the sitting-up position. She moved in and out of their territory, giving small hand signals for one or another to try to get off their pedestal. They swiped at the air with their paws, as if refusing. Ruda put her hands on her hips in mock frustration.

Vernon got the radio message from Mike. "Mamon's on his way down."

With her back to the tunnel, still pretending to admonish the tigers, Ruda got a large bottle of milk and fed Roja, then looked back as if pleading for him to sit on the pedestal. The children in the audience shrieked with laughter.

A small spotlight moved to the entrance of the tunnel. Now Mamon crept out slowly, as if sneaking up behind Ruda. When she turned, she pretended not to see him, but actually gave him the command to move behind her, while still encouraging Roja to sit on the pedestal.

Roja refused. Ruda pretended to get angry; the children, as expected, began to shout: "He's behind you!"

As trained, Mamon kept moving stealthily behind Ruda. Every time she turned she gave the command for a tiger to head back down the tunnel. Each time she turned back to her row of tigers, one was missing. Ruda made an elaborate show of counting tigers and looking puzzled. Roja feigned an attack and Ruda sidestepped him. The audience hushed as Roja made another run at Ruda. This time she crouched down and he jumped over her head and ran into the tunnel. Ruda took out a bright red handkerchief and wiped her forehead. When she turned back, she stared in astonishment — all the pedestals were empty! All the tigers had gone down the tunnel!

Vernon whispered into his microphone. "All clear... all clear. Bolt on, wait for Roja, over. Okay, he's clear, he's out."

The children screamed once more. "He's behind you!"

Mamon roared and the children fell silent. Ruda turned in mock fear to face the big lion. Vernon got the radio message. "All back. Trapdoor down."

Ruda was now left with Mamon, and it was as if that had been his intention all the time, to clear all the other cats away and be the star.

Ruda issued Mamon the command. "Red!" and continued to look forward to the empty tunnel, pretending to be puzzled that the others had disappeared.

Grimaldi tensed up, Vernon moved closer. Mamon was behind Ruda, but he was nowhere near where he should be, nowhere near the pedestal. His head hung low and he was moving stealthily forward.

"Red... Ma'angel... Ma'angel...!"

Grimaldi heard Rebecca gasp. She broke free of him and clung to the bars. Her face was rigid. "RED... RED... RED!!"

The sawdust churned up behind Mamon as he made a fast U-turn, and at a terrifying gallop careened across the ring, flinging himself at the railings, toward Rebecca. He seemed crazed, swiping at the bars and snarling.

The audience became silent. Ruda moved to the center of the ring. Only the ring was lit, not the barrier, so the audience could hardly see Grimaldi or Rebecca. But Rebecca fell back, terrified.

Ruda kept the pedestal between herself and Mamon.

" YUPPPPPPPPPPPMAMON... UP UP... RED RED... MA'AANGELLLLLLLL!" He was too far across the ring to be forced back to the tunnel again. He began a crazed run around the barrier, teeth bared, his eyes crazy.

"Red, GOOD BOY... Ma'angel... Red!"

Rebecca was tugging at Grimaldi, saying over and over: "Red, red, red..."

Vernon snapped an order for someone to get ready to let Ruda out of the trapdoor on that side. Mamon was going crazy.

Torsen bit his knuckles, his face white. "He's out of control. Look at him, he's going for her!"

Rieckert sat back in his seat. "Bloody hell... she must be mad! He's going to attack her."

Mike sent one of the boys to stand by the trapdoor. Grimaldi signaled for him to get to his side. He pushed Rebecca forward.

"Take her out, just get her out of the way. I'll handle it, I'll see to the trapdoor."

Rebecca called out to Ruda, but the orchestra was playing at full volume. Only the few rows close to Grimaldi could sense something was very wrong.

Rebecca was dragged out, unable to tear her eyes from the ring. Grimaldi cocked the rifle. There was a gasp from the banks of seats close by.

Helen gripped the baron's hand. "Can you see him? He's got a rifle, but I can't see Rebecca. I think something is wrong... Do you think this could be part of the act?"

Mike listened as Vernon repeated into the radio that Mamon was going crazy, and that Ruda couldn't control him.

"He's acting up! No... no — hold the panic."

They faced each other. After Rebecca left, Mamon seemed to calm down. He still wavered, but Ruda moved in closer. Her whole body was covered in sweat. Adrenaline was pumping through each vein.

"Come on... come on Ma'angel. Up red... red UP! MAMON!"

She moved closer. His massive jaws were open and drool hung from his mouth as he tossed his head from side to side. There was silence now. The orchestra had just finished playing a segment of Wagner's The Ring, the moment when Siegfried discovers his beloved.

Ruda knelt on one knee and bowed her head. There was a gasp as Mamon sprang as if to attack her. Instead, he leaped over her head and landed perfectly on the pedestal. Slowly he lifted his front paws in the air. Ruda crossed to the pedestal and stood in front of him. Directly beneath him, she opened her arms to accept the applause, facing him.

"Mamon... good, good. Gently now, good boy." Ruda turned her back to Mamon, and he slowly lowered his front paws onto her shoulders. The spotlight shrank until it shone on Mamon's head. She turned to look at him. She could smell his breath, she could hear his heart pumping. She was at his mercy.

"Good boy... good, KISS!"

Ruda stepped quickly away. On command he was off the pedestal and running for the tunnel. She was left alone to bow, and take the thundering applause. The audience gave her a standing ovation.

"Ladies and gentlemen we now have an intermission... but hurry back to see the second half of the fearless, the extraordinarily daring Ruda Kellerman's act. Meet Wanton, the panther. Meet more of Ruda Keller-man's amazing family of wild beasts."

The lights came on as the ice cream girls streamed down the aisles. Many members of the audience remained in their seats dazed, unsure of what they had just seen.

Ruda was panting and patting her face dry with a towel as she ran across toward her trailer to change for the second half of the act. Grimaldi was waiting. "Don't take him into the second half, he's crazy. He refused to obey you time and time again."

She turned on Grimaldi. "I can control him, I did. Now back off. I know what I'm doing."

Only then did she stop, look around. "Where is she? Luis, where is she?"

Grimaldi snapped back that she was by the cages with Mike and Vernon. He continued to follow her: "She becomes as crazy as the bloody animals... Ruda — Ruda, will you listen to me!"

Ruda was splashing through the mud toward the trailer. "I hear you, Luis. But please don't ask me to listen to you! I saw the rifle, Luis! I don't want you in or near the ring for the second half, hear me? You are pitiful, pitiful! So desperate to be part of the act you have to stand there like something out of a Wild West show!"

She ran on. The sweat she had worked up in the ring now mingled with the cold rain, making her shiver. She entered the trailer, leaving the door open for Luis. "I'm cold. I'm cold! Run the shower."

Rebecca was not with Mike, as Grimaldi had believed, but on her way back to the trailer. She was about to open the door when she heard Ruda's angry voice. She stood motionless as Grimaldi shouted. "Don't order me about as though I were a dog!"

"Then what are you? What possessed you to stand like a prick with that bloody rifle!"

"Maybe I was worried about you — you hadn't rehearsed, you were distracted because of this Rebecca business."

"She is my sister, my sister, Luis! You know what that means to me? Can you even contemplate what it means to have found her? She came to me, she came to me, Luis!"

Grimaldi sat heavily on the bunk bed, wiping his hair with the towel Ruda had tossed aside. She was pulling off her boots as she talked. Outside, Rebecca was frozen, unable to move from the trailer steps, huddled in Vernon's rain cape.

"Help me with my boots."

He held the toe and heel and jerked hard.

"She took a long time finding you. Why didn't she turn up earlier?"

The boot came away in his hand and Ruda fell back. She pushed her other foot out to him, and he began to pull off the boot. "She didn't know I was alive."

"She tell you she looked for you?" he asked.

Ruda pushed against him. "I looked for her, she looked for me. Yes, yes, yes! Oh come on, pull, Luis, I've got to change."

"There's something wrong with her, Ruda. I tried to tell you earlier. There was a man, said he was her husband. He was with a woman, a doctor. They said she was sick. I think they meant crazy sick!" He pulled hard at the boot heel. The boot came away and Ruda fell backward again.

"What did they tell you?"

"Nothing much. I just felt it from the way they were so desperate to find her. They knew about you. They were looking for you. I said they'd best come to the trailer after the show."

"Why did you do that?"

"What else was I supposed to say? I knew she'd been here— Christ! They wanted to try and find you there and then. If it wasn't for me they'd have been wandering around..."

"You should have just minded your own business."

"You are my business."

"Since when?"

Luis hesitated. "Since you killed Kellerman."

She stared at him and he sighed. "I know Ruda, so don't deny it. I know you killed him."

Ruda unbuttoned her shirt. "Ah, I see. You are going to blackmail me, is that it?" She pulled her sweat-soaked shirt off. "Try it and I'll get your bloody rifle and I'll shoot your fucking head off..."

Luis grabbed hold of her. "You know what I was prepared to do for you? That inspector — when I saw him arrive, you know what I wanted to do? Say it was me, say I killed Kellerman! I was going to do that for you Ruda, because—"

Ruda let the shirt drop. "Oh God, what did you tell him, you fool!"

"I told him nothing. They were just coming to see the show, they had free tickets. I said nothing."

She seemed almost amused. "You were really going to do that for me?"

He pointed to the clock. "You got ten minutes. I'll get the boys ready."

She unzipped her pants slowly, never taking her eyes off his face. "He took a long time to die. I never meant to kill him — but he threatened me and... there was this big green ashtray, very heavy. I kept on hitting him and his teeth fell out. I remember seeing his teeth on the carpet. He was always so proud of his white teeth, but they were as false, as fake, as he was."

She took a deep breath. "Oh God, Luis. He took such a long time to die."

Ruda kicked her pants off. The terrible jagged scars were shining with sweat. She looked up to him and held out her arms. He hugged her tightly.

"Nobody will hurt you. I won't let them."

She stroked his face. "So if they come for me, you'll say you did it? You'd really do that for me?"

Luis kissed her forehead. "Yes, yes, I'll say it was me. Nobody will ever hurt you again, I promise."

She cupped his face in her hands and kissed his lips. Her eyes searched his eyes. She traced his lips with her fingers. "Be nice to her, Luis, she was always the weak one."

"Yes, I can tell."

She gave a strange smile. "Can you now? I underestimated you."

Luis tapped his wrist to indicate the time, and brought her the costume. He heard the shower being turned on, and eased the plastic cover from the white jacket, glad to be needed.

Outside, Rebecca sat hunched on the steps. When she heard Ruda call out for her costume, she moved away, afraid to be seen. She lost her footing, falling in the thick mud. She tried to stand, but she had slid halfway beneath the trailer.

The trailer door opened. She could see the polished boots, and hear Ruda telling Grimaldi to bring her to the ring.

"And Luis... no gun! Promise me?"

As Ruda hurried away, Rebecca could see Grimaldi's feet. She crawled a few inches, calling out to him. The mud oozed beneath her. She could smell the wet earth, and she was lost. The dank stinking tunnel, the stench of the sewers, the scurrying rats. Two tiny girls forced to stay silent. They clung to each other. Above them they could hear the clank of steel-edged boot heels against the rim of the manhole cover. They were waist deep in filthy water. Rats swam around them. They heard the echoes of boots and screaming voices.

The darkness began to swallow her. Rebecca's heart beat rapidly as she tried to force the memories away. She tried to concentrate on getting herself out from beneath the trailer, but the fragmented memories overpowered her.

Ruda snapped at Vernon that she could handle Mamon, all they had to do was their job, and she would do hers. Vernon backed off and looked at Mike. They were radioed up to the main soundboard, ready to start the second half of the show. Ruda asked Mike, "Where is she?"

Mike's thoughts were on Mamon and for a moment he looked blank.

"My sister. She was with you, wasn't she?"

Mike shook his head. "She went back to the trailer."

"Go and get someone to find her, she might have gotten lost. Tell her to stand by Grimaldi."

Ruda was pacing up and down as the orchestra started the second-half intro. "Mike! I don't want him with that bloody rifle. If he comes in with it, get it away from him. Don't let him go in the ring with that goddamned thing."

Mike nodded. He didn't even know where Grimaldi was, and he would not risk looking for him now. He signaled to one of the helpers to go and look for Grimaldi and Rebecca.

Ruda edged closer to the entrance. She stamped her feet. She was wearing her second costume, a white jacket, black trousers, and black boots, with black leather gloves. The white shoulders of the jacket were padded since she would be working with Wanton. He was very unpredictable and could give a nasty scratch. She was in fact always more worried about Wanton, though he was only a quarter of the weight of Mamon. Panthers were more difficult to train by far.

The release cages were lined up. Three male lions paced up and down, as eager to get into the ring as Ruda. Behind the lions came the lioness, behind them the tigers. The last two cages held Wanton and Mamon.

"Ladies and gentlemen — Please take your seats for the second part of the show. Take your seats, please..."

Ruda turned to the standby board. The red and green lights were not on. She looked back to the ring, and tilted her head from side to side. Her neck was tensing badly. "Come on, come on," she murmured, her hands clenched at her sides.

Mike received the radio signal that Grimaldi was in position on the far side of the ring. Alone.

Vernon came to Ruda. He pressed his earpiece. "Bit of a delay with a big party on the left bank of seats."

"Shit! Any money it'll be the bastards that haven't paid to get in anyway."

Ruda shifted her weight from one foot to the other and sighed impatiently, then gave a fleeting look around for Rebecca and asked again if Mike had located her. Mike smiled, gave the thumbs up. Ruda nodded. "Make sure she's okay, will you?" Again he nodded, and Ruda breathed in deeply.

Ruda closed her eyes trying to concentrate on the act, but she couldn't stop thinking of Rebecca. When she'd helped Rebecca change, she'd noticed her clothes, even her underwear, were of the finest quality. She had worn a big diamond ring. Ruda tapped her stick against her leg. Rebecca had four children, a rich husband. Her life must have been very different from her own. She wondered if Rebecca had tried to find her, tried as hard as she had... Ruda opened her eyes, forcing herself to concentrate. "Are the pedestals set up?" Ruda asked no one in particular. Vernon replied that they were. Ruda looked again to the lights. "What the hell's going on! Come on, light up. Red, come on red... green, red, green!"

Rebecca curled her body into a tight ball beneath the trailer. The colors came in rapid succession. She had to remember each color, she had to give them to Ruda. If she didn't give them to her sister, Ruda would be given no food, they would hurt her. She heard Papa's voice, saw the cards being laid out, red, green, blue...

The red light flickered. "Stand by, Miss Kellerman."

Ruda stood rigid. She didn't see the draped entrance to the main ring, but instead the dark green curtain. The hand that drew the curtain open was clean, with red painted nails; the woman had beautiful blond hair swept in a perfect coil. Her eyelids were painted, her cheeks rouged and powdered like an actress's. The dark red lips were often parted in a half smile. Ruda could see him behind the glass, just a fraction to the right of Red Lips, one of his gloved hands resting against the high dentist's chair. He had oiled, slicked-back ebony hair, chiseled features, and wore an immaculate uniform. They made a handsome couple. When he smiled his teeth were even and white.

Rebecca wore a frilly dress, white socks, and black patent leather shoes. Once, when the curtain was drawn back Ruda saw that she had been holding a doll, and she had held it up for Ruda to see. A doll with orange hair and a porcelain face, pink-cheeked, pink-lipped, with delicate china hands. Ruda had pretended that when they drew the curtain back she was looking into a mirror, seeing herself. It had calmed her and made the pain go away.

Papa made the unwrapping of a toffee into an art, holding each end of the wrapper delicately between finger and thumb, as if afraid to get so much as a trace of toffee on his white gloves. Ruda's mouth was always dry, tasting of metal. She longed for the sweet, watched the elaborate unwrapping of the treat with desperate eyes. When he smiled and touched Rebecca's chin to indicate she should open her mouth, when he looked through the glass to Ruda and smiled as he popped the sweet into Rebecca's mouth, Ruda could taste the sweet, soft caramel. The green film over her baby teeth became sweet and delicious.

Days or weeks later when Red Lips drew back the curtain, Ruda could see Rebecca had changed. The frilly white dress was dirty. Her mouth gaped open. She could see the tears, could see her fighting and scratching and sobbing, but she couldn't hear because the curtain draped a soundproofed cage. She was desperate to get to her sister, desperate to know what frightened her so much, what terrible things they were doing to her. She too would scream and scream, but Rebecca couldn't hear her either.

What Ruda could not have guessed was that Rebecca was screaming because they were showing her what they had done to Ruda.

Vernon shook Ruda's shoulder, once, twice. She turned, startled. "My God! Hurry, you've had the green light twice... are you okay?"

Ruda collected herself, then nodded. They were repeating her intro music. She waited a beat, then walked into the ring. Cheers and loud applause greeted her entrance. "Ladies and gentlemen — Ruda Kellerman!"