Envy

Chapter 7

“No way in hell am I going out in public looking like this,” Miranda wailed.

As Harper had expected, Miranda had awoken with a raging hangover and a far stormier outlook on being a green-headed monster.

“Well, on the bright side…,” Harper began.

“I don’t want to hear it,” Miranda interrupted her. “It’s too early in the morning for bright sides.”

“It’s twelve thirty,” Harper pointed out. They’d rolled out of bed a few minutes ago and were now slouched in front of the kitchen table, trying to cure their hangover with juice and a handful of aspirin.

“Am I in my pajamas? Am I eating Rice Krispies? Am I still waiting for my first cup of coffee? Then it’s morning.”

Harper, whose own head was throbbing with the pain of one margarita too many, was in no position to argue.

“Look, we’ll fix this,” she promised.

“You’d better,” Miranda growled. “It’s your fault I look like the Jolly Green Midget to begin with.”

“We’ll take care of it, I promise. The box said it washes out in twenty to twenty-five shampoos, right? So all we need to do is wash your hair twenty-five times in a row, and that should be that.”

“That’s a lot of showers…”

“Do you want to go to school on Monday looking like a stalk of broccoli?” Harper asked wryly.

Miranda looked appalled at the thought. “Hey, it’s not like we’re in the middle of a drought or anything,” she said, reconsidering. “Bring on the shampoo.”

“Uh, actually, we’re going to need to go get some more of that,” Harper reminded her. They’d used the last of it the night before in their drunken beauty school efforts. But perhaps the less said about that, the better.

“We?” Miranda squawked. “Did I mention that I am not going out in public like this? Which part of that did you not understand?”

“Chill out-I’ll go to the drugstore and get more shampoo. Just let me throw on some clothes.”

“Fine,” Miranda sulked. “I’ll jump in the shower. Might as well get started.”

The two of them scampered upstairs, Harper to hastily throw on some clothes and Miranda to single-handedly bring on a drought. As she pulled on a T-shirt, Harper idly picked up her cell phone and noticed she had a text message waiting for her from Kane. 1:37, elementary school playground. Be there. Bring Adam.

Cryptic much? Harper thought grouchily. It was definitely too early in the morning for riddles.

She called Kane immediately.

“What are you talking about?” she asked, without saying hello.

“Can’t talk now-Beth and I are studying,” he said meaningfully. “Just trust me-you won’t want to miss this.”

“But what-?”

“Can’t talk now,” he repeated. “Just be on time.”

He hung up, and Harper sighed, casting a glance toward the bathroom door, where the water in the shower had just turned off.

“When you’re out getting the shampoo, can you grab us some lunch, too?” Miranda called from behind the door.

Harper cradled her head in her hands. Really, what was she supposed to do? Jeopardize the whole plan just because Miranda was having a hair crisis? It wasn’t even a tough call-she’d just need to come up with a good excuse.

“Rand, change of plans-I’m going to need to run you home,” she said casually.

Miranda swung open the door and popped out, towel hastily wrapped around her dripping body.

“What? I must have heard you wrong, because I thought you said you were abandoning me.”

“Rand-”

“But that can’t be right. Not you, my best friend, who just ditched me five days ago and promised never to do it again and who-”

“Rand-,” Harper helplessly tried again.

“Who, by the way, turned my hair green!” She grabbed some clothes and went back into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. “So, lunch,” she said. “I’m thinking pizza? Or Chinese food?”

“Stop acting like a baby, Miranda. I have to take a rain check. It’s an emergency.”

Harper waited in silence for several minutes, until finally a fully dressed-though still dripping-Miranda emerged from the bathroom.

“What kind of emergency?” she asked suspiciously.

“Well, not an emergency exactly-I mean, it’s not life threatening,” Harper hedged, thinking fast. “It’s just, you remember that tooth problem I was having? That was the dentist on the phone-he says he can fit me in for a follow-up, but only if I come right away. Some kind of last-minute cancellation.”

“Follow-up?”

“Yeah, my tooth is still killing me.” Harper brought one hand to her jaw, hoping that Miranda wouldn’t remember which side of her mouth the fake toothache was supposed to be on, since Harper no longer had any idea. “Of course, if you really need me, I guess I could just suffer through the pain…”

Miranda heaved an exaggerated sigh.

“No, I can take a shower-or thirty of them-all by myself. I’m a big girl, after all.”

“I’ll come over tonight and we’ll do final damage control, I promise.”

“I can’t wait to see the look on my mother’s face when she sees this one,” Miranda said with a sudden smile. “You know, it’ll almost be worth it.”

“You see? There’s a silver lining after all.”

Miranda shot Harper her patented Look of Death. “I said, almost.”

“It’s such a beautiful day,” Kane had mused. “Why don’t we do this study thing outside?”

Beth had reluctantly agreed. It’s not that she didn’t want to go outside-in fact, on a day like this, with a light breeze blowing and only a few wispy clouds in the sky, the last thing she wanted to do was sit inside and stare at fractions. But they had a lot to get through, and not much time. Being outside would be a distraction.

It was just so hard to say no to him.

They ended up in the playground of their old elementary school, stretched out on a picnic blanket between the swings and the jungle gym. The playground served as a park on the weekends, and laughing children swarmed all around them.

Still, Kane stayed focused. More focused even than Beth, who kept looking around at the playground equipment with something akin to longing. She came here by herself sometimes, at dusk, to sit on the swings and watch the sunset. It was a good place to think-surrounded by memories of a simpler time, all those games of tag and four square, the races she’d run, the games she’d lost and won, the swings she’d been on constantly, whooshing through the air as if she could fly.

She’d be going to college in a year, and there were very few parts of the town that she’d be sorry to see go. She’d been born here, grown up here, knew it inside and out. There were a few people she never wanted to leave behind-Adam, of course, her family, and-she looked at Kane-new friends too, the ones she’d missed getting to know all these years. But the town itself? She was ready to leave Grace in the past, never to be seen again. All except the playground. It was a special place. Her place.

And really, it was all that remained of her childhood.

Kane yawned and stretched himself out on the picnic blanket, preening in the sun like a lazy and self-satisfied cat.

“Late night last night?” Beth asked sarcastically, trying her best not to admire his impeccable physique.

“I know, I know, Heather’s a little-”

“Hilary,” Beth corrected him.

“What?”

“Her name was Hilary,” she reminded him with a reproachful glare.

Kane at least had the grace to blush.

“Ah, yeah. Hilary’s a little-well, she’s not like you. She’s just… fun.”

“So I’m not fun?” Why do I even care what he thinks of me? she asked herself.

“You’re fun and so much more, Manning,” he said languidly.

“And that means what, exactly?”

“It means you’re cute when you’re mad-anyone ever tell you that?”

“You’re changing the subject,” she pointed out, ignoring the compliment. That was just the kind of thing Kane said, after all, she reminded herself. Just the kind of guy he was. It didn’t mean anything.

Kane sighed. “It means that you’re fun, but that’s not all there is. Girls like Heather-”

“Hilary.”

“Whatever-they’re a dime a dozen,” he explained. “Girls like you? There aren’t so many.”

Now it was Beth who blushed. “I just hate to see you wasting your time, Kane. You deserve so much more.”

“I can’t believe this is coming from you, of all people.”

“Why me, ‘of all people’?”

“Come on, Beth,” he said, looking away. “I know how girls like you see me. You think I’m a sleazy flirt. Not worth your time. Girls like you think I’m worthless.”

“Not all of us,” she murmured.

“What?”

She was suddenly struck by the unusual sincerity, the urgency in his voice. And she didn’t like it.

“Let’s just-uh-let’s get back to work,” she suggested, bending back over her notebook. “So, when the exponent is in the denominator, you want to…”

The problem was, she didn’t know how she saw him anymore-but she suspected it was time to stop looking.

Adam had been surprised when Harper called suggesting they take a walk down to the old playground. Reminiscing about the past wasn’t usually her thing-Harper was all about living in the moment.

But neither of them had anything better to do, and it couldn’t hurt to go visit the site of some of their best exploits. Just because Beth was off somewhere studying with Kane, again, didn’t mean he needed to sit around the house all day sulking. He needed to take his mind off of things-and no one did that better than Harper.

“Why do you keep checking your cell every five minutes?” he asked her, just after pointing out the spot where Danny Burger, fifth-grade stud, had wet his pants. In fear of ruining his too-cool-for-school rep, he’d promised the witnesses three packs of baseball cards each in return for their eternal silence-and then run the whole two miles back to his house. “Are you expecting a call?”

“No, I left my watch at home and I just want to see what time it is-I have a dentist appointment later. Let’s walk a little faster,” she suggested.

As they reached the gate of the small playground, Harper pointed toward a couple by the swings.

“Isn’t that Beth? And Kane?” she asked.

Adam squinted at the couple-it was them, all right. Kane was pushing Beth higher and higher, and he could imagine the exuberant look on her face as she stretched her toes closer and closer to the sky. He’d seen it enough times himself.

Harper raised a hand to wave, but he grabbed it and stopped her.

“No, let’s just-just wait, okay?”

She gave him a cryptic look, but shrugged in agreement. So they just stood at the fence and watched.

“What are they doing here, anyway?” Harper asked. “I thought they were studying.”

Adam’s stomach clenched. “Yeah, so did I.”

“We should really get back to work now,” Beth complained, breathless with exertion.

Kane checked his watch. One thirty-five.

Harper had better be out there somewhere, he thought.

It was the perfect setup-the picnic, the romantic frolicking on the swings. And that whole heart-to-heart on his dating life? Talk about an unexpected pleasure. So Beth was paying attention, was she? He’d been unsure of how to play it last night-too much macho pig with all the leering and groping? Would it erode all the hard work he’d put into changing her image of him?

But as soon as he’d seen the look on her face, he’d known he had her. She was disgusted, sure-but she also, for a split second, wanted to be Hilary, wanted to forget all her uptight, repressed, do-gooder rules and restrictions and just fall into his arms. It was a look he’d recognize anywhere.

One thirty-seven. Time for the coup de grâce.

“Just a couple more minutes, sarge?” he grinned down at her-and, surprise, surprise, she couldn’t resist. “Just once down the slide,” he suggested.

“Okay,” she conceded. “But you first.”

Perfect.

He slid down, waving as he went and then tapped her lightly on the shoulder. “Your turn, teach.”

She climbed up the narrow ladder and stood paused at the top, looking down at him dubiously.

“This is a little higher than I remember,” she said nervously.

“What are you, chicken?” he called up to her. “Five-year-olds slide down this thing. Don’t worry, I’ll be down here at the bottom to catch you.”

He waited for her, and watched as she slid down the rusty and pitted metal, her blond hair cascading behind her, a grin of delight illuminating her flushed and open face. Kane had been with a lot of girls, but he’d never known any who could be made so happy by so little. In fact, he usually ran a little more toward the high maintenance end of the spectrum, girls who could accept a gold bracelet with an upturned nose and a faint “Thanks, I guess.” But Beth-he shook his head in bemusement. Give her a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie, swing her through the air, it would be enough. She’d be happy. And it was real happiness, the kind that spills over its borders, pours into everyone around you. That he’d never seen before.

She slid with a squeal into his arms, and the momentum knocked them both backward onto the scraggly bed of grass, where they lay tangled in each other’s arms, heaving with laughter. For a moment Kane even forgot why he was there, what he was doing, who was watching.

Then he remembered-and felt a sudden stab of an emotion so unfamiliar he barely recognized it: guilt.

Adam stood motionless, his face impassive, carved in stone.

Harper reached a tentative hand out toward him.

“Adam, I’m sure it’s just-”

“Don’t, Harper. Just-don’t.”

He was clenching the chain link fence so hard that his knuckles turned white, and Harper could see a small muscle twitching just above his jawline-but those were the only exterior signs of whatever was churning within him at the sight of Beth and Kane rolling around on the ground in each other’s arms.

“I’m sure it’s nothing,” he said quietly. “They’re just taking a break. Nothing wrong with that.”

Harper stayed silent, waiting for him to give her some sign of what to do next. Finally he pulled himself away from the fence, turned his back on the playground.

“Let’s go,” he said shortly. “Let’s just go.”

Harper hated to see Adam in pain, much less to know that she was the one responsible for it-but in this case… well, wasn’t it better for him to suffer a little pain now, if it would help him avoid a much greater pain later on, when he finally realized on his own that Beth was the wrong girl? Or when she left him, for college or for another guy or for no reason at all? Just look at her, Harper thought in disgust. Running around with Kane, throwing herself into his arms. The timing might have been a trick, but what they were looking at? That was real. That was betrayal.

And when you looked at it that way, she was doing Adam a favor. Just helping a good friend see the light.

Miranda had snuck into her house as quietly as she could.

It wasn’t quietly enough.

At the sound of the door her mother came clattering down the stairs and, after a horrified tirade on the state of Miranda’s head, let loose with the bad news: She needed some peace and quiet. Which meant she was sending Miranda’s little sister, Stacy, to the Frontier Festival-in care of Miranda.

And she wouldn’t take “No way in hell am I leaving the house like this” for an answer.

The festival turned out to be just as bad as she’d expected. Hokey and crowded, it would have been punishment enough on its own-but with green hair? It was torture. Everywhere they went, Miranda felt like people were staring at her (perhaps because Stacy kept pointing at her head and shouting, “My sister has green hair!”). They might as well put me in the freak show, she thought drily. Come one, come all, see the Amazing Human Chia Pet.

“Hey, it’s the mean, green, fighting machine!” One of the barkers suddenly called out. “Where are you going?”

She looked around. The screechy voice booming from the megaphone could only be coming from the tall, gawky boy manning a dunk booth-and it could only be directed toward Miranda.

She shook it off. Just keep walking, she told herself.

“Come on, show us your stuff, Incredible Hulk style!” he called. “Three throws for a dollar-I dare you.”

“Randa, he’s talking to you,” Stacy pointed out, eyes wide. As if she hadn’t noticed.

“Forget it, Stacy. We’re leaving.”

“But-”

“What are you, scared? Where are you hiding your wings, chicken?” When he started clucking, that was it. Enough was enough. Miranda heaved a huge sigh and turned her sister back around.

“Come on, Stacy, it’s time to dunk a dunce.”

The annoying barker-a tall, skinny teen with glasses and a striped T-shirt that made him look like a live action Where’s Waldo-grinned and collected their money, then scrambled up onto a wooden bench that hovered precariously over the tank of water. He waved cheerfully.

“Worried?” Miranda asked as her sister readied herself to take a throw at the bull’s-eye target.

“Nah-how about you?” He snickered. “You’re looking a little green in the gills there.”

As the loser cackled to himself, Miranda leaned down to Stacy and encouraged her.

“Throw hard, sweetie-as hard as you can.”

Ball one.

Miss!

“Nice try, ladies. I’m shaking in my moccasins.”

Moccasins. She should have figured. This guy had loser written all over him.

Ball two.

Miss!

“One more shot-but you’re winners either way.”

“You’ll give her a prize even if she doesn’t hit the target?” Miranda asked, pleasantly surprised.

“No, of course not-but don’t you feel like you’ve won just by meeting me?”

“Won what?”

“The game of life, of course.”

“Only if you’re the booby prize,” Miranda muttered. She grabbed the last ball from Stacy’s hands. “Let me take this one, Stace.”

Ball three.

Crack!

Splash!

Miranda and Stacy burst into uncontrollable laughter as the annoying loser flailed wildly in the shallow water, finally popping up for air.

“You think that’s funny, do you?”

“Hilarious,” Miranda agreed.

“Well, just remember you said that.”

Before Miranda could figure out what he was talking about, he climbed out, soaking wet, and slammed his palm into a bright red panel by the tank.

“Better hold your nose,” he suggested cheerfully.

Too late.

A bucket overturned over Miranda’s head, unleashing a flood of icy water.

“What the hell!” she screamed, looking down at herself, post-tidal wave. Her clothes were soaked and sticking to her body, marred by a few light green streaks-apparently her hair was still water soluble.

“Language, language,” water boy cautioned her with a smirk, pointing toward Stacy. “There are children here, you know.” He grabbed a giant stuffed bear off the rack and handed it to the girl.

“Here you go, sweetie. Good job.” He turned to Miranda. “And you.”

“I get a prize too?” she asked, holding her arms out from her sides in a pathetic attempt to air dry. “I think you’ve already given me enough.”

“You get the best prize of all.” He scrawled something on a piece of paper and handed it to her.

She uncrumpled it and looked uncomprehendingly at what he’d written: “Greg-555-6733.”

“My phone number,” he explained, a bright red blush spreading across his face and out to the tips of his oversize ears.

“Wha-?”

“I think your hair’s cute,” he spit out, eyes darting away in embarrassment. “And so are you.”

Kaia shut off the TV in frustration. There were only so many hours of nothing on that she could take. But what else was she supposed to do? She’d read a book, read the latest issue of InStyle-twice-even done her homework (truly a move of last resort). And it was still only Saturday night. She’d pretty much burned her bridges for what passed as A list social life around here, and she didn’t have much interest in palling around with social climbers who thought that hanging with someone who used to be at the top of a social ladder was the next best thing to ever being there themselves. And what did that leave? Kaia, alone and bored in her father’s palatial monstrosity of a midlife crisis (complete with pool table, hot tub, giant flat screen TV). After a few weeks trapped in small-town hell, even the luxury oasis wasn’t cutting it.

She wondered what was going on back at the home front. Kaia got an e-mail or two a week from members of her old crowd (even, once in a while, a note from her mother, complaining about the decorator’s incompetence or her dermatologist’s too frequent vacations). But that was about it.

Principle dictated that she wait for them to call her and describe how empty life was without Kaia. Boredom dictated that she call them and torture herself with the knowledge of the life she should be living.

Boredom-and masochism-won out.

“Kaia, we miss you so much!” Alexa fawned. (They had all fawned over her, back in New York, jockeying for favor as if hoping her light would shine down on them and redeem their pitiful lives. It was a horrible way to think about your friends-but then, Alexa and the rest weren’t really friends, were they? So what did it matter?) “K, you missed the sale of the season yesterday. Bergdorf’s-you would not believe the scene.”

“Oh, I can imagine.”

“I should have snagged you something, but it was just too crazy.”

“Well, not much call for Marc Jacobs out here in the sticks, anyway,” Kaia admitted.

“Oh, that’s right,” Alexa said, her voice dripping with pity. “Burlap sack is maybe more your speed these days, right?” A beat. “Just kidding, of course.”

“Of course,” Kaia said drily.

“How are the hotties out there? You climbed into bed with any cowboys yet?”

“A few. It’s slim pickings, though. Like Presley Prep on a Monday morning.” Showing up in homeroom at eight a.m. on a Monday, sans hangover, was basically admitting to the world that you’d spent the weekend poring over your stamp collection. Or, Kaia thought, looking around in self-pity, forming a permanent body-size lump in your couch, flipping aimlessly through the TV channels 24/7.

“Tell me about it,” Alexa drawled. “But by Tuesday-totally yummy. Tyler was getting so jealous the other day when-”

“Tyler?” Her Tyler? Six-feet-two Kenneth Cole addict with a nasty sense of humor and a silver Ferrari?

“Uh, yeah,” Alexa mumbled. “You know we’ve been seeing each other. You know, nothing serious.”

“I don’t know,” Kaia corrected her coolly. “Maybe you should enlighten me.”

“Oh, I already told you all about it. I’m sure of it. You remember-you said you didn’t care?”

It was an utter lie. But pointing that out would violate the code, the code that forbade you to ever admit to caring. Not when you were with a guy, not when the guy moved on to someone else, not when your supposed friends stabbed you in the back.

Kaia didn’t really care about the code-but then again, she didn’t much care about Tyler or Alexa, either. So she let it pass.

“Actually, he’s here right now,” Alexa finally remembered to mention. “Want to say hello? Ooh, Tyler, quit it. I’m on the phone.” There was a series of giggles, then a disconcerting pause during which Alexa and her Harvardbound hottie were doing who knows what, then, “Sorry, I’m back, what were you saying?”

Before Kaia could answer, the doorbell rang-it was like a gift from the gods.

Or possibly the delivery guy, waiting outside with the pizza she’d ordered. Either way, it was a sign.

“I was saying I have to go-hot party to get to,” Kaia lied easily.

“Sure, sure-awesome to talk to you, K, we miss you so much here. Oh, Tyler, for fuck’s sake, quit it. We think about you all the time. No,Tyler, I’m not talking to you, I’m talking to Kaia. Kaia. Tyler, stop it! I mean it!”

“Yeah, miss you, too,” Kaia said dully, her voice drowned out by giggles. She shook her head in disgust and hung up the phone.

Think about her all the time? Yeah, right.

She hated them all for a moment-her parents for forcing her into exile, the friends who’d left her behind even though she was the one who’d left, Harper and her cronies here, who had all the social capital that Kaia had worked so hard to accumulate in her old life. You can’t take it with you, they say.

Ain’t it the truth.

She shuffled down to the front door to collect her pizza and got another unpleasant surprise.

“It’s you,” the scruffy delivery guy grunted when she opened the door.

“Do I know you?” It seemed a highly unlikely-and highly disturbing-prospect.

“We’ve met. I rescued you?” He spoke slowly, his words spaced out as if he were in danger of forgetting which one came next. It was the kind of voice that you imagined saying “yo” or “dude” every other word-so much so that the words almost didn’t need to be said. They were just implied.

Still, it was true, they’d met before. Under the dweebish Guido’s hat and apron was the same grody guy she and Harper had blown off in the Cactus Cantina. And now my night is officially complete, she thought in disgust.

“Oh yeah,” she grudgingly admitted. “What was your name? Weed? Seed?”

“Reed,” he corrected her, glowering. “Hopefully next time you’ll get it right.”

Weed would have been more appropriate, she decided, judging from the smell hovering around him and the glassy look in his eyes. He reeked of pot.

“Hopefully there won’t be a next time,” she retorted.

“Fine with me, princess.”

“I hope you don’t treat all the people you serve in this manner,” Kaia said haughtily.

“Not too many people home to serve on a Saturday night,” he said with a sly smile.

Was he actually criticizing her social life? Or would that be giving him too much credit? Veiled insults take brain power, and Kaia was sure this guy was running on empty. She knew she should just shut the door and go back to her night, lame as it was-but there was something about this guy that held her in place. Maybe it was his deep, dark, intense gaze, or the way his soft lips curled up into a knowing smile-

She shuddered. Surely she hadn’t sunk low enough to be attracted to a guy like this. Raw sex appeal notwithstanding, he was still a delinquent pothead. A delivery boy, she reminded herself. That was it.

“Better sitting at home eating shitty pizza than running around town delivering it like a servant on wheels,” she pointed out, trying not to watch the way his body moved beneath his tight black T-shirt.

“Dude, at least I get paid,” he countered. “If you think about it, you’re kind of paying me to hang out with you.” He snorted and shook his head, as if pitying her. “I can think of better ways to spend my money.”

“You know what? Me too.” She snatched back the couple dollar bills she’d given him for a tip and slammed the door in his face.

“And then he asked you out?” In her excitement, Harper almost dropped the phone. She flopped back onto her bed and kicked her legs in the air in triumph. This could be just the loophole she was looking for.

“He gave me his phone number,” Miranda clarified. “It’s not the same thing.”

Details, details. “Okay, but he basically asked you out. Excellent.”

“Um, were you not paying attention when I described what an annoying loser he was?” Miranda asked. “And did you miss the part where he dumped a bucket of water on my head?”

“Methinks the lady doth protest too much,” Harper teased her. “Besides, that was just his way of flirting. Maybe he’s a little shy and awkward. I think it’s adorable.”

“Since when do you find shy and awkward adorable?”

Harper’s mind was racing. Sure, now she was betraying Miranda by helping Kane get another girl-if you wanted to look at it that way. But as Harper saw things, Kane had made it painfully clear that he wasn’t interested. Just because she’d sworn a solemn oath to Miranda that she’d do everything she could to make it happen… well, what was she? A magician? It’s not like she had any power over what Kane wanted.

The problem was just that Miranda might not see it that way. So if Miranda found some other guy to lust over in the meantime, someone who actually wanted her in return, and she got swept up in some torrid new romance? Well, she’d stop feeling so shitty about the Kane thing and Harper could stop feeling so guilty.

Problem solved.

“I say you go for it,” Harper urged. “How long has it been since you’ve gone out on a date?”

“Can I plead the fifth?”

“Miranda,” she said warningly.

Miranda sighed. “Okay, okay, too long.”

“And why is that?”

“I don’t know-because I’m fat? Because I have frizzy hair that now looks vaguely like seaweed? Because I’m so short that a guy has to fall over me before he notices I exist?”

“Shut up, loser,” Harper snorted. “You know none of those things are true. Plenty of guys ask you out.”

“Sucky guys.”

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about-you’re too picky. They can’t all suck.”

“Oh, trust me-”

“No, I don’t trust you. You’ve got these impossibly high standards that no guy could ever measure up to and then you complain about being alone. I’m tired of it.”

“So I’m supposed to have no standards?” Miranda asked.

“No, you’re just supposed to be realistic. To take a chance once in a while on someone who’s not one hundred percent perfect.”

“I don’t think Kane’s perfect-”

Harper rolled her eyes, glad Miranda couldn’t see her through the phone. This was getting pathetic.

“Great. So there’s one guy in all these years who measures up. You think maybe it’s time to branch out a little?”

“Why are you yelling at me?” Miranda asked in a small voice.

“I’m sorry.” Harper took a deep breath. “I’m not yelling. I just want you to be happy, Rand. So what if this guy’s not the one? So what if he’s not as hot or as charming as the Great and Powerful Kane? You don’t have to marry him-just go out with him a couple times. Think of it as practice. And who knows,” she continued, hating herself for it, “maybe you’ll even make Kane jealous. You know guys always want what they can’t have.” She knew that was one idea Miranda would find impossible to resist.

“Okay… you got me. I’ll do it. I’ll call Greg and ask him to dinner.”

“Fabulous.” Harper grinned and looked out her window toward Adam’s bedroom. She wondered what he was thinking about right now. Probably Beth. But even that wasn’t enough to deflate her mood. “Good luck, not that you need it.”

Miranda sighed.

“Thanks for the reality check, Harper. You’re the best.”

Harper hung up the phone and gave herself a mental pat on the back for a job extremely well done. Miranda would be distracted (and, as an added bonus, maybe even happy), leaving Harper free and clear to pursue her own agenda. Guilt free.

Was Harper the best?

Damn right.

Beth slammed her hand on the dining room table as another paper airplane whizzed past her head.

“Adam, give it a rest, I’m trying to concentrate.”

“Okay, okay.” He bent down over his book again and there was a moment of blessed silence. But then, just when Beth had almost wrapped her head around the variables in a monstrously complicated word problem, a tiny ball of paper flew onto her book. When she looked up in irritation, another one hit her squarely in the forehead.

“Jesus, Adam, what are you, twelve years old?”

“What? I’m just trying to have some fun. You can’t tell me you’re not bored out of your mind.”

“That’s not the point,” she snapped. “The SATs are in less than two weeks, and I need to get through this. I thought you did too-isn’t that what you said?”

Actually, Adam had called to report his latest swimming victory, suggesting they go out on the town to celebrate. It was a huge moment for him-the swim team was going to the regional championships for the first time in a decade, and it was all thanks to Adam. Beth would have liked nothing more than to spend the night celebrating, to enjoy the fact that she was in love with such an amazing guy. But… she just didn’t have the time. She’d set aside the night for SAT studying, and she couldn’t break her schedule. Not this close to the test. Not even for Adam. But when she’d told him that, he hadn’t gotten angry, or sulky, or any of the other reactions she’d expected. Instead, he’d invited himself over. A study date, just the two of them.

“I need to study,” she’d warned him, wary that she’d be too distracted by his charming smile and silky blond hair.

“Hey, I’m taking the test too,” he’d pointed out. “Don’t I need to study?”

She’d been skeptical-but, after all, she’d been begging him all along to take the SATs more seriously. Who was she to object when he finally took her advice?

They had set up shop at the dining room table and, after a couple minutes of small talk, lowered their heads over their books.

For about five minutes. And then his attention span ran out.

The last hour had been insanely frustrating, as she tried to keep her concentration and her temper. But she wasn’t having much luck with either.

“I just thought we could take a little break,” he whined, squirming under her disapproving gaze. “Have a little fun.”

“There’s no time for fun-not now,” Beth said, gesturing at the intimidating piles of books, notebooks, and flashcards that lay scattered across the table. She hated the way she sounded, like such a humorless stick in the mud. But it was partly his fault-if he wasn’t always such a baby, she wouldn’t always have to be such a nag. It’s not like she enjoyed playing the role. “Why can’t you understand that?”

“Maybe because you seem to have plenty of time when it comes to Kane,” he said sulkily.

“Is that what this is all about? Is that why you’re here?” Beth sighed in exasperation. How had Adam gotten so disconnected from the things that really mattered to her, enough so that he couldn’t understand the most important things in her life? Instead, they just had to have this same pointless conversation over and over again. Maybe that was what happened when you stopped talking, she thought sadly. You ran out of new things to say. “Are you really that jealous?”

“I’m not jealous at all,” he said hotly. “I just don’t understand what the deal is with the two of you.”

“I told you-he cares about doing well,” Beth insisted. “He wants my help.”

“That’s not all he wants,” Adam muttered.

“What was that?” she asked sharply.

“I just think you need to ask yourself why he wants to spend so much time with you. Why are you so sure that he cares so much about the test?”

She stiffened-it infuriated her when he implied that the only thing she had to offer the world was her body. Why was he so convinced that all anyone could ever want from her was sex? Maybe because it was all he wanted? As always, she tried to suppress the fear-but these days, it never disappeared for long.

“Oh, I don’t know-maybe because when I study with Kane, he actually works hard,” she pointed out, and it was absolutely true. “He doesn’t sit there fidgeting, throwing paper airplanes, and ignoring everything I say unless it’s about football or TV Now… who does that sound like to you?”

“Fine!” he said in a loud, sulky voice, looking away. “You caught me. I don’t give a shit about this stupid test. I just wanted to spend some time with my girlfriend. Lock me up and throw away the key.”

She shushed him and glanced down the hall-her mother was trying to sleep a bit before working a night shift, and the last thing Beth needed was to wake her up. They both held still for a moment, waiting-but no sound came from the bedroom. They were safe. And in the quiet pause, Beth’s anger had seeped away. She closed her book, then reached over and closed Adam’s, too.

“Adam, listen to me. You have nothing to worry about.”

“You don’t know Kane…”

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t. But I know myself,” she said urgently. “You know me. Whatever it is you think he’s after, he’s not going to get it.”

Adam looked down and didn’t respond.

“You trust me, right?”

“I do, of course I do, it’s just that-”

“Look. Remember last month, when you were spending all that time with Kaia?” she asked.

A wary, panicked look flashed across Adam’s face. “Yes…”

“And I was insanely jealous?”

“That’s right, you were,” he said triumphantly, vindicated.

“And you got mad, because I didn’t trust you-and you were right.”

He looked down again, deflated.

“I should have trusted you,” Beth told him, “because I know you’d never do anything to hurt me.”

“I never would,” he said urgently. “Beth, you know that. I love you.”

“And I love you.” She leaned across the table and gave him a soft kiss on the lips. “And you just have to trust that. Okay?”

“So what now?” he asked.

She laughed. “Now you get out of here and let me get my work done so that I can see you another time. Without the stupid books.”

He rolled his eyes. “Are you sure?” he asked, coming around to her side of the table and massaging her shoulders. As always, she melted beneath his warm and sure touch. “Because you might want to keep me around-I tend to come in handy.”

She swatted him with her notebook. “Don’t tempt me,” she begged. “Now come on, get out.”

He shrugged and turned to go. But he didn’t get very far.

“Okay, come back,” she cried. “ You got me-one more kiss.”

It was a long one.

Adam drove home. With the sweet taste of Beth still fresh on his lips-and the image of her in Kane’s arms still fresh on his mind. He knew Kane-the guy got anything he wanted. Anything. Anyone. Adam had to work for everything he got; but for Kane, victory came easy. And it came often.

Beth could deny it all she wanted-she could beg him to trust her a hundred times. But he couldn’t help what he knew, and what he knew was that sometimes being in love, being trustworthy just isn’t enough. Yes, he remembered back when he was spending all that time with Kaia. He’d sworn to Beth a million times that nothing would ever happen. And he’d meant it.

And it’s not like he was some horrible person, he reminded himself. Kaia had just been there-the wrong girl, in the right place at the right time. He hadn’t been able to stop himself. Sometimes he wasn’t even sure he could blame himself-it had all seemed so inevitable. Sometimes, despite the best of intentions, things just happened.

And that’s what he was afraid of.