Falls The Shadow

12

“After a while we sort of drifted apart, the three of us,” said Wayne. “The connections just seemed to disappear.”

“What were you on, son?” said Father Kenneth.

Wayne rolled his shoulders guiltily. “Everything. Pills, cocaine, reefer laced with embalming fluid we swiped from the funeral home.”

“My God,” said Father Kenneth.

“Not bad, actually, if you could get over the taste,” said Wayne. “And then heroin.”

“Was Seamus on heroin, too?” I asked.

“We started together. That’s what made what happened so strange.”

“Him getting killed by a drug dealer? That doesn’t sound so strange at all.”

“No,” said Wayne. “Before that.”

I looked at Father Kenneth. Through the whole of Wayne’s sad, lurid tale, I had been expecting the father to explode in some sort of righteous condemnation. But that hadn’t happened. Instead he had kept a benign expression on his face, showing only the measure of disapproval required of his position at the more troubling points, enough to say that the story had registered, not so much to discourage Wayne from continuing. He was good, the good father, I had to give him that. Probably had plenty of experience in the confessional, but still it was impressive.

“Tell us about it, Wayne,” said Father Kenneth. “Tell us what Seamus did.”

“There was an addict name of Poison, a big guy with this sort of electric gaze that drew to him the most desperate losers on the street. Which is how I fell in with him. He had contacts with some dealers, and he could keep you supplied so long as you stayed with his program. But his program was mostly about following his orders and taking the risks for his risky schemes and letting him hit you when he wanted, which was pretty much all the time. But you couldn’t just walk away from Poison. Once you were in, that was it, he’d kill you sooner than let you walk away, and he had done it once, right in front of us. Stuck his knife into some guy’s gut.

“Now, I hadn’t seen Seamus for over a year. I had heard things, though. I heard some old poof had sort of taken him up, was keeping him off the street. He even had arranged to get Seamus’s teeth fixed. It sounded worse than Poison to me, and I didn’t know that Seamus was like that, a boy toy. But, you know, when you’re desperate like we were, anything goes, and I figured he had followed Kylie down that route. So I had written off Seamus. I figured I’d never see him again.

“And then one night we were in the fort, Poison and his crew. It was a cold snap, and I had showed Poison our old place so we could build a fire to stay warm. And we were huddled around this fire, the crew, strung out, talking about our next scam, when this shadow just appears in the doorway. You couldn’t make out anything but the outline. It was tall, wide, and it was wearing this long coat that almost reached to the ground. And then the shadow talked.

“ ‘I’m looking for a piece of scum called Poison,’ it said.

“Poison scurried out of the light of the fire and said, ‘What do you want with him?’

“ ‘I have a proposition,’ said the shadow. ‘It can be worth some money to him.’

“ ‘Go ahead,’ said Poison.

“ ‘Not until I know who I’m dealing with,’ said the shadow.

“ ‘All right,’ said Poison, and he was standing now, with his hand in his coat pocket, and he stepped forward until his ugly, scarred face was lit by the fire. ‘How much?’

“ ‘Five hundred dollars,’ said the shadow.

“ ‘All for me? What do I need to do for it?’

“ ‘Nothing,’ said the shadow. ‘I just want to take away one of your gang without you giving me trouble.’ And the shadow stepped forward into the circle of light from the fire, and it was Seamus. Like he was stepping toward me from out of a dream. And he said, ‘I want to take away Wayne.’

“Poison looked over at me with a sneer and said, ‘Wayne’s with us.’

“ ‘Not anymore,’ said Seamus.

“ ‘Do you have the money on you?’ said Poison.

“Seamus took an envelope out of his pocket. Poison stepped forward to reach for it. Seamus jerked it back. ‘Do we have a deal?’ he said.

“ ‘We’ll have to discuss it some,’ said Poison with an eerie smile plastered on his ugly face, but just as he said it, his hand jerked out of his coat pocket and he charged at Seamus, the fire shining in the knife’s long blade.

“Seamus turned sideways and kicked him in the face. Poison went spinning to the ground, his knife flying out of his hand. When Poison raised himself onto his knees, Seamus kicked him in the face again. Jesus, he just wiped him out. Then he looked around at the crew, saw me, and said, ‘Let’s go, Wayne.’ And I went. And he brought me here, to you, Father Kenneth. Do you remember?”

“I remember,” said Father Kenneth, nodding. “And we cleaned you up, bought you some clothes, and got you into a treatment program. But it was you who did the hard work. It was you who stuck with it.”

“Because Seamus visited and told me I had to. Because Seamus told me there was something golden on the other side.”

“And was he right?” asked Father Kenneth.

“What do you think, Father?”

“I think you’ve come a long way.”

“But if it was so golden, why did Seamus get back into the life? Why did he get himself killed like that?”

“I don’t know, son,” said Father Kenneth. “I don’t know.”

“And that’s why you think you were betrayed?” I said.

“He left me here alone,” said Wayne. “Without him.”

“Who was the old man who had helped him?” I said. “Did you ever find out?”

“No,” said Wayne. “He didn’t want to tell me anything about him, and I understood. That kind of thing, who would want to talk about it?”

“Was Seamus always a good fighter?”

“Hardly. He was one of those big, timid guys.”

“It didn’t sound like he was timid when he took on Poison.”

“It was like he was a different person, like he had turned into some sort of comic-book hero.”

“Was he ever arrested by the police, do you know?”

“Not that I was aware of,” said Wayne. “Not when he was hanging with me.”

“You have any idea what happened to Kylie?”

“She disappeared. Maybe you should ask her mom.”

“I tried,” I said, “but she didn’t know. She’s been too busy picking up her Mother of the Year award.”

“Is there anything else you need for that legal case of yours?” said Father Kenneth.

I looked at Beth, she shrugged. I slapped my knees and stood. Beth stood, too. “I think we’re through here, Father. Wayne, it was a pleasure meeting you. Thank you so much for your time. And good luck.”

“Give me a minute, Wayne,” said Father Kenneth before he led us out of the small room.

He was quiet for a long moment as we walked up the church aisle. “I don’t know if that helped,” he said finally, “but if you need anything more, give me a call, and I’ll do whatever I can.”

“Thank you, Father.”

“Now let me ask you, Mr. Carl. After hearing all that, is Wayne in any legal trouble?”

“I wouldn’t think so. All this happened a while ago. The statute of limitations on most everything he might have done would have already run.”

The priest glanced back toward the still-open door. “That’s good to know.”

“It looks like he’s trying,” I said.

“Oh, he is, Mr. Carl, believe me. But it will be a struggle still for a long time to come. Sometimes confession alone isn’t enough. Sometimes you can’t move forward until you’ve gone back to take care of the past. It would help him, I think, if we could find Kylie. And that man he beat up. He didn’t seem like a nice man, but even so, maybe I’ll find out his name. Maybe Wayne will find some way to make amends. You’ll keep me informed of anything more you find out about Seamus?”

“Sure, Father, if that’s what you want.”

“Oh, I do, yes. And best of luck in saving your client in that prison.”

“Thank you, sir,” I said. “We’ll certainly need it.”