Falls The Shadow

29

“You don’t need to be worrying about Daniel,” said Randy Fleer – that was his full name, I learned – as I drove him to the warehouse in Northeast Philadelphia where he worked. “I’ll take care of him. Julia, sure, she’s a bit, well, yeah, right. I understand why the judge might have had concerns with just her around. But I’ll take care of Daniel now on in. He’s a good little guy, just needed a man in his life. And here I am, so he don’t really need you no more.”

“That’s good to know, Randy,” I said. “But I’m a little curious as to why you told Julia she should keep your name out of our discussions.”

“She tell you I told her that?”

“It was pretty clear, the way she was acting. And she said you weren’t together anymore.”

“But you didn’t believe her.”

“No.”

“Only woman I ever met who couldn’t lie worth beans. Listen, I work. I got this job at Wilson’s, and sometimes I help out a buddy who does contracting work. Drywall and stuff. I don’t have time to sit all day waiting for some judge to tell me how I should be dealing with that boy. And even with all I’m working, I can’t afford health care for us now. That’s how come Julia and me, we aren’t married yet. She’s still on the state health-care program for herself and Daniel. I heard if they knew I was living with them, they’d kick them off.”

“Are you living with them?”

“Off and on.”

“Do you have a place of your own?”

“Not right now. It doesn’t make sense, what with the money for rent they charge, even in that dump Julia’s living in now, over the bar. But I have plans for us, for the three of us. As soon as I pay off some debt and get ahead of the game, I want to buy us a house. There’s a nice neighborhood in Mayfair where some buddies from work live. I know what Daniel needs. I want us to be a family, I do. He deserves that. A boy deserves the right kind of family.”

“There are things Julia has to do for Daniel,” I said. “The judge has ordered her to attend certain classes, to show up at the hearings, and to take him to the doctor. And she has to do something about his teeth.”

“They’re a mess, aren’t they? She spoils him. Her idea of raising a kid is to give him a taffy and leave him in front of the television. And at night he sleeps with a bottle in his mouth.”

“Is that good for him?”

“It keeps him calm.”

“Can you make sure she takes him to the dentist?”

“I don’t know if the program she’s on covers tooth stuff. It’s just his baby teeth anyways.”

“If I find you a dentist who will look at him without charging, will you make sure she takes him?”

“Sure, of course. Yeah. And I’ll make sure of the other stuff, too. I’ve always wanted to have a son, someone to throw the football with, to watch the games with. Daniel’s my chance, and I mean to do it right. You should see him run. Like the wind. He could be something. He’s a good kid. I’ll take charge of him.”

“Okay.”

“How long you going to be around?” he said.

“As long as the judge thinks I’m needed.”

“Why don’t you tell him that everything’s okay now?”

“First, it’s a her.”

“Figures.”

“Second, as long as there is some concern about Daniel’s situation, I think she’ll want me involved. I want to make sure his health is seen to, his teeth, and that his mother does all she can to take care of him.”

“I told you, I’d take care of him.”

“Were you ever in jail, Randy?”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“I was just wondering. The homemade tattoo on the back of your hand sort of gives it away.”

“I was in for a check thing. Just a short stint. And then I was hanging with the wrong guys, and we got stupid. I mean, sure, I admit I have a past, I don’t deny it. Except let me tell you, they say it’s the army supposed to make a man out of you, but for me it was the joint. I want to make up for what I lost. Whatever I was, whatever I done, now I want to do the right thing by that boy. And Julia. I want us to be together, maybe have another one of our own. We’re going to be a family.”

“That would really be the best thing for him,” I said.

“I know it.”

“But I thought there were four of you,” I said. “Doesn’t Julia have a daughter?”

“Did she tell you that?”

“No.”

“Then who did?”

“Does she or not?”

“No.”

I kept driving. Sometimes, as a lawyer, you have to put your finger in someone’s face and call him a liar, and sometimes you just have to be quiet and let the silence talk.

“I want us to be a family Daniel can be proud of,” he said finally.

“I don’t know what that means.”

“You don’t have to. It ain’t your family. You won’t be living in Mayfair. You married?”

“No.”

“Got any kids?”

“No.”

“How was your family life growing up?”

“Crap.”

“So what the hell are you talking about? You don’t know nothing.”

“Maybe not.”

“My place is right up here.”

We were on a busy street just off Roosevelt Boulevard. There was a brick showroom fronting a large warehouse and yard. Heavy pipes, bins, and boxes lay out in the yard, along with a forklift. Men in hard hats were standing around the forklift, drinking coffee, holding themselves in the blurry, motionless stasis that men fall into in the mornings, waiting for the workday to begin.

I parked the car. When Randy got out, I got out, too.

“Where you going?” he said. He had been pretty amiable through our chat, but something about my last couple of questions had withered our budding relationship, and there was now a bite of anger in his question.

“You don’t mind, do you, Randy, if I ask your boss about your work history? The judge might want to know.”

He glanced at the yard for a moment and then shrugged. “Go ahead,” he said. “I work my ass off here, and I never miss a day.”

“That’s good,” I said. “That says a lot.”

He gave me a look, thought about saying something more, and then thought better of it. I watched as he walked away. Yeah, I know, I hadn’t pushed it about the daughter and followed my unanswered questions with others that he would also leave unanswered. I hadn’t done the whole cross-examination thing. But the line between anger and rage is a narrow one, and while I wasn’t really concerned with weathering any storm I provoked, I wasn’t living with him, was I?

But that didn’t mean I didn’t have questions still. I want us to be a family Daniel can be proud of, he had said. What the hell did that mean? I wondered. And even as I asked it, I was pretty sure I wouldn’t like the answer.