Fima

28. IN ITHACA, ON THE WATER'S EDGE

"ALL RIGHT," SAID YAEL, "COME IN. JUST BEAR IN MIND THAT I'VE got to go out shortly. Hang on, let mc button your shirt properly. Tell me, when did you change it last?"

Fima said:

"You and I have to talk."

Yael said:

"Not again."

He followed her into the kitchen. On die way he peeked into the bedroom. He was vaguely hoping to see himself still sleeping in the bed since the night before last. But the bed had been made and spread with a dark blue woollen counterpane. On either side of it were twin lamps on matching bedside tables, and on each table a solitary book and, as in a hotel, a glass of water and a note pad and pencil. There were even identical alarm clocks.

Fima said:

"Dimi isn't well. We can't go on pretending there's nothing the matter with him. You'd better put the flowers in water; they're for you, for the Sabbath. I bought them from a settler. Besides which, it's your birthday around the end of February. You wouldn't make me a cup of coffee, would you? I've walked all the way from Kiryat Yovel and I'm half frozen to death. My upstairs neighbor tried to murder his wife at five this morning: I rushed upstairs to help and only made a fool of myself. Never mind. I've come to talk to you about Dimi. The other night, when you went out and I looked after him…"

"Look here, Efraim," Yael cut in, "why do you have to meddle in everybody's lives? I know Dimi isn't doing well. Or that we're not doing well with him. You're not telling me anything I don't know. You're not doing too well yourself, if it comes to that."

Fima understood from this that he ought to say good-bye and go. But he sat down on a low kitchen bench, looked up at Yael with doglike devotion, blinked his brown eyes, and started to explain that Dimi was an unhappy and dangerously lonely child. Something had come out the other evening while he was looking after the child, ho point in going into details, but he had formed the impression that the boy might be, how to put it, in need of some help.

Yael plugged the kettle in. She put instant coffee into two glasses. Fima had the feeling she was opening and closing more doors and drawers than was necessary. She said:

"Fine. Great. So you came to give me a lecture on childhood and its problems. Teddy's got this friend, a child psychologist from South Africa, and we consult him occasionally. So just stop looking for disasters and things to worry about. Stop pestering everybody."

When Yael mentioned South Africa, Fima had difficulty fighting back the sudden urge to explain his scenario about what was going to happen there in the near future, when the apartheid regime was toppled. He was convinced there would be a bloodbath, not just between whites and blacks, but also between whites and whites and blacks and blacks. Who could tell if a similar danger did not exist in Israel, too? But the word "bloodbath" struck him as a tired cliché.

Next to him on the kitchen table was an open package of butter biscuits. Unconsciously his fingers reached for it, and he started eating the biscuits one by one. While Yael passed him his white coffee, he described to her in a somewhat oblique way what had taken place two nights previously, and how he had come to fall asleep in her bed while Dimi was still awake at one in the morning. It wasn't very fair of you two, either, having a night out in Tel Aviv and not even bothering to leave an emergency phone number. Suppose the child had a bilious attack? Or electrocuted himself? Or poisoned himself? Fima got into a muddle because he did not want to give away, even indirectly, the business about the dog sacrifice. Nevertheless, he muttered something about the way the neighbors' children made Dimi's life a misery. "You know, Yael, he's not like the rest of them, he wears glasses, he's so serious, he's an albino, he's shortsighted, you could almost say he's half-blind, he's very small for his age, maybe on account of some hormonal disturbance that you ought to be doing something about, he's hypersensitive, he's an internal — no, that's not right — an introverted child — even that isn't exactly the right word — perhaps it's soulful or spiritual; it's hard to define. He's creative. Or, more accurately, he's an original, interesting, you might even say a deep child."

From that Fima moved on to the difficulties of growing up in a time of universal cruelty and violence: every evening Dimi watches the TV news; with us, every evening murder is trivialized on the screen. He also talked about himself when he was Dimi's age: he too had been an introverted child, he too had had no mother, and his father had systematically tried to drive him insane. And he said that apparently the only emotional bond that this child had formed was with him of all people, even though Yael knew perfectly well that he had never seen himself as the fatherly type, fatherhood had always scared him to death, nevertheless he sometimes had the feeling that this had been a tragic mistake, that things could have been totally different, if only…

Yael cut him short again. She said frostily:

"Finish your coffee, Efraim. I have to go."

Fima asked where she had to go. He'd be happy to go with her. Anywhere at all. He had nothing to do this morning. They could continue their conversation. He believed it was vital and quite urgent. Or would it be better if he stayed behind and waited for her to come back, and then they could continue? He didn't mind waiting. It was Friday, his day off, the clinic was closed, and on Sunday he had the painters coming in, so the only prospect facing him at home was the depressing task of dismantling and packing. What did she think? Could she spare him Teddy for an hour or two on Saturday morning, to help take down the… Never mind. He knew this was all ridiculous and irrelevant. Could he do some ironing till she came back? Or fold the laundry? One day, some other time, he'd like to tell her about a thought that had been preoccupying him recently, an idea that he called the Third State. No, it wasn't a political idea. It was more an existential idea, if one could still say "existential" without sounding corny. "Remind me sometime. Just say 'the Third State,' and I'll remember at once and explain it to you. Though it may be stupid. It's not important right now. After all, here in Jerusalem almost every other character you see is half prophet and half prime minister. Including Tsvika Kropotkin, including Shamir himself, that Brezhnev of ours. It's less like a city than a lunatic asylum. But I didn't come here to talk about Shamir and Brezhnev. I came here to talk about Dimi. Dimi says you and Teddy call me a clown behind my back. It may surprise you to learn that your son has taken to calling himself a clown too. Doesn't that shake you a little? I don't mind being called a clown. It suits somebody whose own father sees him as a shlemiel and a shlemazel. Although he's ridiculous too. The old man, I mean. Baruch. In some ways he's even more ridiculous than me or Dimi. He's another Jerusalem prophet with his own personal formula for salvation in three easy steps. He has a story about a cantor who gets stuck alone on a desert island for the High Holy Days. It doesn't matter. By the way, recently he's taken to whistling a bit. I mean wheezing. I'm rather worried. I may just be imagining things. What do you think, Yael? Maybe you could have a chat with him sometime, get him to go to the hospital for some tests? He's always had a soft spot for you. You might be the only person who can curb his Revisionist obstinacy. Which is a good illustration of what I meant about every other Jerusalemite wanting to be the Messiah. But so what? All of us must look ridiculous to an impartial observer. Even you, Yael, with your jet engines. Who needs jet engines around here when the only thing we are really short of is compassion and common sense? And all of us, including the impartial observer, are ridiculous when viewed by the mountains. Or the desert. Wouldn't you say that Teddy is ridiculous? That walking box. Or Tsvika? Only this morning I was reading a hysterical article of his, which tries to prove scientifically that the government is cut off from reality. As if reality lives in Tsvika's little pocket. Though there's no denying the government is full of people who are pretty dense, and some of them are quite unbalanced. But how did we get onto the government? That's what always happens to us: for once, we decide to have a serious chat about ourselves, about the child, about things that really matter, and somehow the government comes barging in. Where do you have to go in such a hurry? You don't have to go anywhere. It's a lie. Friday is your day off too. You're lying to me to get rid of me. You want me to leave. You're afraid, Yael. But what are you afraid of? Of facing up to thinking about why Dimi has started calling himself a little clown?"

With her back to him, folding dish towels and putting them away one by one in a drawer, Yael replied quietly:

"Effy, once and for all: You're not Dimi's father. Now drink up and go. I have an appointment at the hairdresser's. The child which you could have had twenty-five years ago I killed because you didn't want it. So don't start now. I sometimes feel as if I've never quite waked up from that anesthetic. And now you come here to torment me. I'm telling you, if Teddy wasn't such a tolerant man, such a walking box as you call him, you'd have been thrown out of this flat a long time ago. There's nothing for you here. Especially after what you did the other night. It's hard enough here even without you. You're a difficult man, Efraim. Difficult and also boring. And I'm still not convinced you're not one of the main causes of Dimi's confusion. Slowly but surely you're driving that child mad."

After a moment she added:

"And it's hard to know if it's some ruse of yours or just idle chatter. You keep talking, talking all the time: maybe you talk so much, you've really convinced yourself that you have feelings. That you're in love. That you're partly Dimi's father. All sorts of half-baked delusions like that. Why am I talking to you about feelings, about love? You don't even know what the words mean. Once, when you read books instead of newspapers, you must have read something about love and unhappiness, and ever since then you've been all around Jerusalem preaching on the subject. I nearly said just now that you love only yourself, but even that isn't true. You don't even love yourself. You don't love anything. Except maybe winning arguments. Never mind. Get your coat on. I'm late because of you."

"Will you let me wait for you here? I'll wait patiently. Till this evening if necessary."

"Hoping that Teddy will get back before me? And find you asleep on our bed again, under my blanket?"

"I promise," Fima whispered, "that this time I'll behave myself."

And as though to prove it, he jumped up and poured his coffee into the sink. He had not touched it, although he had absent-mindedly eaten all the butter biscuits. Noticing that the sink was full of dirty dishes and pans, he rolled up one of his sleeves and turned on the tap. Eagerly he waited for the water to run hot. Even when Yael said, "You're crazy, Efraim, leave it, we'll put it all in the machine after lunch," he took no notice but started washing enthusiastically and laying the soapy dishes out on the marble drainboard. "It relaxes me," he said. "I'll be finished in a few minutes, once the water finally makes up its mind to get hot. I'll be glad to spare you the need to run the dishwasher; and the dishes will come out much cleaner; and meanwhile we can go on talking a little longer. Which is the cold water and which is the hot? Where are we supposed to be, America? Everything's topsy-turvy here. But if you've really got to go, that's fine with me. You just go, Yacl, and come back later. I'll promise to restrict myself to the kitchen. I won't wander around the flat, I won't even use the toilet. Shall I polish the silver for you? Or clean out the fridge? I'll stay right here and wait, no matter how long you're gone. Like a male Solveig. I've got this book about whale hunters in Alaska, and it talks about this custom… Never mind. Don't worry about me, Yael, I don't mind waiting all day. Instead of worrying about me, you ought to worry about Dimi. To use Ted's amusing expression, you could say that Dimi is down. To my mind, the first thing we ought to do is find a totally different social setting for him. Maybe a boarding school for gifted children? Or the other way around, tame one or two of the neighbors' kids…"

Suddenly, as though translating her revulsion into fury, Yael snatched the soapy sponge and the frying pan he was holding.

"That's it. I've had enough of this farce. I'm fed up with the lot of you. Coming in here, washing the dishes, trying to make me feel sorry for you all the time. I can't feel sorry for you. I don't want to be a mother to you all. That child, he's always scheming for something, though I really don't know what he's missing in life, what we haven't bought him, a video, an Atari, a compact disc player, a trip to America every year, and next week he's even getting his own private TV in his room. You'd think we're bringing up a prince here. And then you come around all the time, driving him crazy and making me feel guilty, asking what sort of parents we are, and filling Dimi's head with the same sick birds that are fluttering inside yours. I've had it up to here. Don't come here anymore, Fima. You pretend you're living alone, but you're always clinging to other people. And I'm just the opposite; everybody clings to me, when the only thing I want really is to be alone. Go away now, Efraim. I have nothing to give to you or to anyone. And I wouldn't even if I did. Why should I? I don't owe anyone anything. And I have no claims on anyone. Teddy is always a hundred percent okay. Never just ninety-nine. He's like a year-planner that tells you what you have to do, and when you've done it, you wipe it out and write more things to do. This morning he offered to rewire the flat to a three-phase system as a birthday present for me. Have you ever heard of a husband giving his wife a three-phase system for her birthday? And Dimi waters the houseplants morning and evening, morning and evening till they die, and Teddy buys new ones, and they get drowned too. Dimi can even handle the vacuum cleaner; once Teddy showed him how. He vacuums everything, even the pictures and mirrors. Even our feet. There's no stopping him. You remember my father, dear devoted comrade Naftali Tsvi Levin, founding member of the historic settlement of Yavne'el? He's an old pioneer now, he's eighty-three and completely gaga. He sits in the old people's home in Afula staring at the wall all day, and if ever you ask him a question, like how are you feeling, what's new, what do you need, who are you, who am I, where does it hurt, he invariably replies with the same three-word question: 'In what sense?' He says it with a Yiddish lilt. Those three words are all he has left from the Bible, the Talmud, the Midrash, the Hasidic tales, the Haskalah, Bialik, and Buber, and all the other Jewish sources he knew by heart once. I'm telling you, Efraim, soon I too will have only three words left. Not 'In what sense?' but 'Leave me alone.' Leave me alone, Efraim. I'm not your mother. 1 have a project that's been dragging on for years now because a whole bunch of toddlers have been tugging at my sleeves to wipe their noses. Once, when I was little, my father the pioneer told me to remember that men are really the weaker sex. It was a joke of his. Well, shall I tell you something, now that I've missed my hairdresser's appointment because of you? If I knew then what I know now, I'd have joined a nunnery. Or married a jet engine. I'd have passed on the weaker sex, with great pleasure. Give them a finger, they want your whole hand. Give them your whole hand, they won't even want the finger anymore. Just sit quietly over there, make the coffee, and don't interrupt. Don't draw attention to yourself. Do the washing and the ironing, provide sex, and shut up. Give them a rest from you, and after a week they're crawling back on all fours. What exactly did you want from me today, Efraim? A little early-morning screw in memory of the good old days? The fact is you don't even want that, any of you. Ten percent lust and ninety percent playacting. You turn up here when you imagine Teddy's out, loaded with flowers and fine phrases, an expert at comforting orphans and widows, hoping that this time I'll finally take pity on you and go to bed with you for a quarter of an hour. As a bribe to make you go away. I slept with you for five years, and all you ever wanted, ninety percent of the time, was to get it over with, empty yourself, wipe up, turn on the light, and continue reading your newspaper. Go now, Efraim. I'm a woman of forty-nine, and you're no spring chicken yourself. That story's over. There's no replay. I got a child by you and you didn't want it. So, like a good girl, I murdered it so as not to mess up your poetic destiny. Why do you keep coming back to mess me up, and everyone else too? What more do you want from me? Is it my fault you squandered everything you had, and everything you might have had, and what you found in Greece? Is it my fault that life goes by and time gnaws at everything? Is it my fault that we all die a little every day? What more do you want from me?"

Fima stood up, chastened and humble, muttered an apology, started to look for his coat, and suddenly said shyly:

"It's February, Yael: it'll be your birthday soon. I've forgotten. Perhaps you've already had it? I don't remember the date. I don't even have a three-phase system to give you."

"It's Friday, February 16, 1989. The time is 11:10 A.M. So what?"

"You said we all want something from you and you have nothing more to give."

"Surprise, surprise: so you've managed to take in half a sentence after all."

"But the fact is, I don't want anything from you, Yael. On the contrary, I want to find something that will give you a little pleasure."

"You have nothing to give. Your hands are empty. In any case, don't you worry about my pleasure. It so happens I have a real feast every day, or nearly every day. At work, at my drawing board, or in the wind tunnel. That's my life. That's the only place where I really exist a little. Maybe you ought to start doing something, Efraim. That's the whole of your problem: you don't do anything. You just read the papers and get worked up. Why don't you give private lessons, volunteer for civil defense, do some translating, give lectures to soldiers about the meaning of Jewish ethics."

"Somebody, I think it was Schopenhauer, wrote that the intellect divides everything up, whereas intuition restores the oneness that was lost. But I'm telling you, Yael, that our farce doesn't divide into two but, as Rabin always says, into three. Schopenhauer and the rest of them ignore the Third State. Wait, don't interrupt. Just give me two minutes to explain it to you."

But then he fell silent, even though this time Yael had not interrupted him.

He said:

"I'll give you everything I have. I know it's not much."

"You have nothing, Effy. Just the scraps you shnorr from the rest of us."

"Will you come back to me? You and Dimi? We can go to Greece."

"And live on nectar and ambrosia?"

"I'll get a job. I'll work as a salesman for my father's firm. A night watchman. A waiter even."

"Sure, a waiter. You'll drop everything."

"Or else we could go and live in Yavne'el, the three of us. On your parents' old farm. We can grow flowers in hothouses, like your sister and her husband. And we'll get the fruit orchard going again. Baruch will give us some money, and little by little we'll bring the ruins back to life. We'll have a model farm. During the day Dimi and I will look after the livestock. We'll build a study for you with computers, a drawing board. And a wind tunnel, if you'll explain what that is. In the evening, toward sunset, we'll go and see to the orchard together. The three of us. As it begins to get dark, we'll collect honey from the beehives. If you really want to take Teddy with you, I won't object. We'll have a little commune. We'll live without lies, and without the faintest shadow of spite. You'll see: Dimi will develop and really start to flourish. And you and I…"

"Yes, of course, you'll get up at half past four every morning, with your boots and your mattock and your hoe, a song in your heart and a plant in your hand, to drain the swamps and conquer the wasteland single-handed."

"Don't poke fun, Yael. I admit I have to learn from scratch how to love you. So okay, little by little I'll learn. You'll see."

"Of course you will. You'll take a correspondence course. Or study at the Open University."

"You'll teach me."

With sudden, timid courage he added:

"You know very well that what you said earlier isn't the whole truth. You didn't want the baby cither. You didn't even want Dimi. I'm sorry I said that. I didn't mean it. It just slipped out. But I want Dimi. I love him more than my own life."

She stood over Fima as he slumped on his bench, stood in her worn corduroy trousers and threadbare red sweater, as though she was straining with all her might not to hit his plump face. Her eyes were dry and flashing, and her face was wrinkled and old, as if it were not Yael but her mother who was bending over him, smelling of black bread and olives and plain toilet soap. And she said with wonder, with a strange taut smile, speaking not to him and not to herself but into space:

"It was also in the winter. It was February then too. Two days after my birthday. In 1963. When you and Uri were completely absorbed in the Lavon affair. The almond tree behind our kitchen in Kiryat Yovel had started to flower. And the sky was just like today, perfectly clear and blue. That morning there was a program of Shoshana Damari songs on the radio. And I went in a rattling old taxi to that Russian gynecologist in the Street of the Prophets, who said I reminded him of Giulietta Masina. Two and a half hours later I went home, as fate would have it in the same taxi with the little photograph of Princess Grace of Monaco over the driver's head, and that was that. I remember I closed the shutters and drew the curtains and lay down in bed listening to a Schubert impromptu on the radio, followed by a lecture about Tibet and the Dalai Lama, and I didn't get up till evening, and by then it had started raining again. You had gone off early in the morning with Tsvi to a one-day history conference at Tel Aviv University. It's true you offered to skip it and come with me. And it's true I said, For Heaven's sake, it's no worse than having a wisdom tooth out. And in the evening you came home all glowing with excitement, because you had managed to catch Professor Talmon out in some minor contradiction. We murdered it, and we said nothing. To this day I don't want to know what they do with them. Smaller than a day-old chick. Do they flush them down the toilet? We both murdered it. Only you didn't want to hear when or where or how. All you wanted to hear from me was that it was all over and done with. But what you really wanted to tell me was about how you'd made the great Talmon stand there on the dais in confusion like a first-year student flunking an oral. And that same evening you rushed to Tsvika's, because the two of you hadn't had time on the bus back to Jerusalem to finish your argument about the implications of the Lavon affair. He could have been a boy of twenty-six by now. He could have been a father himself, with a child or two of his own. The eldest about Dimi's age. And you and I would go into town to buy an aquarium and some tropical fish for the grandchildren. Where do you think the drains of Jerusalem empty out? Into the Mediterranean, via Nahal Shorek? And the sea reaches Greece, and there the king of Ithaca's daughter might have picked him out of the waves. Now he's a curly-haired youth sitting and playing the lyre in the moonlight on the water's edge in Ithaca. I believe Talmon died a few years ago. Or was that Prawer? And didn't Giulietta Masina also die? I'll make some more coffee. I've missed the hairdresser now. It wouldn't do you any harm to have a haircut. Not that it would do you much good either. Do you still remember Shoshana Damari, at least? A star shines in the sky, / And in the wadi jackals cry? She's completely forgotten now, too."

Fima had closed his eyes. He tensed, not like someone who is afraid of being hit but like someone who hopes for it to the very tips of his nerves. As though it were not Yael, not even Yael's mother, but his own mother bending over him and demanding that he give back at once the blue bonnet that he had hidden. But what makes her think that he hid it? And why does Yael assume it was a boy? What if it was actually a girl? A little Yael with long soft hair and a face like Giulietta Masina? He laid his arms on the table and without opening his eyes hid his weary head on them. He could almost hear Professor Talmon's scholarly nasal voice declaring that Karl Marx's understanding of human nature was naive and dogmatic, not to say primitive, and in any case one-dimensional. Fima responded mentally with Yael's old father's perpetual question:

In what sense?

The more he thought about this, the less he could find an answer. Yet on the other side of the wall, in the next flat, a young woman was singing a forgotten song which had been on everyone's lips years ago, about a man called Johnny: There was never a man like my Johnny, / Like the man they called Johnny Guitar. The melody was feeble, childish, almost laughable, and the woman on the other side of the kitchen wall was no singer. Fima suddenly recalled making love to Yael, half his lifetime ago, one afternoon in a small boardinghouse on Mount Carmel, when he was accompanying her to a conference at the Technion. She thought up the fantasy that he should pretend to be a stranger and she a young girl who had never been touched before, innocent, shy, nervous. His task was to seduce her, taking his time. And he managed to give her pleasure that was close to pain. He drew forth cries for help, pleas, tender exclamations of surprise. The more he played the stranger, the more the pleasure intensified and deepened, until a mysterious sense of hearing developed in his fingertips, in every cell of his body, enabling him to know precisely what would feel good to her, as if he had planted a spy inside the dark network of nerves of her spinal column. Or as if he had become one flesh with her. Until they ceased to touch and be touched like a man and woman, and became a single being quenching its thirst. That afternoon he felt not like a man having intercourse with a woman but as if he had always lived inside her, that her womb was now not hers but theirs, his penis not his but theirs, and his skin and her skin both theirs.

Later they dressed and went for a walk in one of the verdant valleys on the side of Mount Carmel. They strolled until nightfall among the luxuriant vegetation without talking or touching, until a night bird sang to them a short, poignant phrase which Fima imitated to perfection, and Yael, with a warm low laugh, said, Do you have any plausible explanation, good sir, why I suddenly love you, even though we're not blood relations or anything like that?

He opened his eyes and saw his ex-wife, shrunken, almost shriveled, an aging Giulietta Masina, in gray trousers and a dark red sweater, still standing with her back to him and folding towels. It's not possible, he thought, that she has so many towels that she can go on folding them forever. Unless she's refolding them because she wasn't satisfied with the way she did it the first time. So he stood up like a man who knows exactly what to do, and embraced her from behind, putting one hand over her mouth and the other over her eyes, and kissed the nape of her neck, the roots of her hair, her back. The smell of toilet soap and the hint of tobacco from Ted's pipe reached his nostrils, dizzying him with a vague desire, along with a sadness that snuffed it out. He picked up her thin little girl's body in his arms, and just as he had carried her son two nights before, he carried Yael now and laid her on the same bed in her bedroom, and just as he had stroked Dimi, he now stroked her cheek. But he did not remove the counterpane, nor did he try to take off his clothes or hers, but instead pressed himself against her along the whole length of their bodies and buried her head in the hollow of his shoulder. Instead of saying I've missed you, he was so tired that he whispered I've messed you. They lay side by side, close but not embracing, motionless, speechless, his body's warmth radiating into hers and hers into his. Until she whispered to him: Right. Now be good and go.

Fima silently obeyed. He got up and found his coat, drank the remains of his second coffee, which had gone cold like its predecessor. She told me to go into town and buy an aquarium and some tropical fish for Dimi, he thought, so that's what I'll do. On his way out he managed to close the door behind him so carefully that it did not make the slightest sound. Then, as he walked northward, the same silence continued in the street and in his thoughts. He walked slowly the whole length of Hehalutz Street, to his own surprise trying to whistle the tune of the old song about the man they called Johnny Guitar. There, he said to himself, you could say that everything's lost or you could say that nothing's lost, and the two things are definitely not mutually exclusive. The situation seemed strange yet wonderful: he had not slept with his wife, yet he felt no lack in his body but, rather, the opposite, an exhilaration, an elation, a fulfillment, as though in some mysterious way there really had been deep and accurate intercourse between them. And as if in that intercourse with her he had finally begotten his son, his only son.

But in what sense?

The question seemed meaningless. In a senseless sense. So what.

When he reached Herzl Street, the fine rain reminded him that he had left his cap behind at Yael's, on the edge of the kitchen table. But he was not anxious, because he knew he would return. He still had to explain to her and to Dimi, and why not to Ted too, the secret of the Third State. But not now. Not today. There was no hurry. Even when he thought of Yoezer and the other reasonable, sane people who would live in Jerusalem instead of us a hundred years from now, he felt no anguish, but, on the contrary, a sort of shy inner smile. What's the matter? What's the hurry? Let them wait. Let them wait quietly for their turn. We definitely haven't concluded our business here yet. It's a slow business, a rotten business, there's no denying it, but one way or another we still haven't said our last word.

He boarded the first bus that stopped, without bothering to check its number or its destination. He sat down behind the driver and hummed to himself, shamelessly out of tune, the song about Johnny Guitar. He saw no reason to get off before the terminus, which happened to be Prophet Samuel Street. Despite the cold and the wind, Fima was in very good form.