Finding Willow

CHAPTER 3

Clyde, Seven’s driver, lets me stop at my place for my overnight bag. I pack as much as I can into the black Playboy duffle bag. I don’t expect to be back at my apartment anytime soon.

I grab a couple pairs of jeans, some t-shirts, all appropriate clothing normal people would wear. Nothing sparkly or fancy, nothing that screams porn star. Okay, maybe I put a couple pieces of glittery clothes in my bag, only because I can’t bear to part with them. If glitter was a fucking blood type, it would be mine.

Once we arrive at Seven’s penthouse, there is only one thing I want. A fucking shower. I toss my bag on the leather couch and pull out my long white robe, leaving the bag open. Seven will probably bug out over the mess, but I plan on heading out in the morning anyway.

I enter her bedroom and open the door to her gorgeous en-suite. I have always loved this bathroom. Despite her repeatedly yelling at me to use the guest bathroom, I just crave the huge shower.

The large glass door is cracked open, and I turn the shower on. Moments later, steam starts pouring from behind the doors, as the glass begins to fog slowly. I pull at my clothes, stripping before I step inside and let the hot water run along my body. It feels so good.

I take my time and wash off the past forty-eight hours. I curb my repeated craving for some kind of drug or alcohol. It sucks trying to push the desire out of my mind. I take a deep breath and try to refocus my thoughts on something else.

I scrub off Blue’s touch. The lies. The betrayal. If I could scrub years of my life off, I would. I want a fresh start. A new start. I want to get on with my life.

“Star?” Seven’s voice startles me. I didn’t expect her home this early.

“Seven? You’re home,” I say from behind the glass. I want to apologize for using her shower, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I love this shower too fucking much.

“Yeah, I need to get in there. It has been quite the day.”

I can hear her undressing on the other side of the glass. I shouldn’t be excited by this, but I am. We fought. I’m trying to move on. I’m trying to put the life I have been living behind me, but the only thing I want to do right now is lose myself inside her delicious cunt. It is like heaven on fucking earth.

“Are you okay in there, Star?”

I’m more than fine, but I am nowhere near ready to get out of the shower. Company or not, the water feels way too fucking good. And I silently hope she joins me. In a bold move, I decide to bait her. It’s now or never, because tomorrow, I hit the road, not knowing if or when I will be coming back.

“I’m fine, Seven. Are you coming in or not?”

A minute or two passes; it seems like a fucking eternity, but finally, the door opens, and a naked Seven steps in. She’s breathtaking as always. I can’t help myself. As I lather the soap all over my body for the third time since I entered the sprawling shower, my hands have a mind of their own. One lands on my luscious breast, and the other slowly snakes down my body, falling between my legs.

I lazily spread my pussy lips apart, and circle my fingertip along my swollen bud. It feels divine, and I can’t remember the last time I actually touched myself without a camera rolling. I drag my gaze up to meet Seven’s emerald eyes, and she continues to focus on my wandering hands.

“Like what you see, Seven?”

I’m bold. I want her. No, not want, need. I need her. I need this final piece of acceptance before I move on.

“It has been so long, Seven.”

I step toward her, running my hands over my breasts, never breaking eye contact. It has been so long, and my body aches for her. Evan would never fucking share me with Seven. All those years Seven and I spent sharing each other with whatever partners walked into our lives, or through the doors of Sinners and Swingers.

My body aches for her touch.

“It has,” she finally replies, moving a stray piece of hair away from my face, before caressing my cheek.

I take another step in her direction, taking in her body. Her pierced nipples stand at attention for me. I’m dying to take them in my mouth and suck on them until she screams my name.

Goosebumps slowly start to spread across her skin, and I know she wants this as much as I do. Her breathing becomes more and more shallow the closer I get to her.

“I’ve missed you, Seven.”

I take one last step, and our bodies press together. Her breasts press against mine, and I can feel the metal of her piercings graze my own nipples, bringing them to life. I lick up her neck, and stop to whisper in her ear. I want you.” It is the God’s honest truth. I want her more than I have ever desired her before. In the twelve years we’ve hooked up, nothing rivals this moment.

“Star,” she tries to protest. I can see an internal battle of sorts waging. Her eyes are dark, clouded with emotion as she pauses to form her words. I don’t want her to push me away, but I don’t want her to regret this, either.

I don’t want to leave her to her thoughts any longer. I move in and kiss her. I lick and suck her mouth, all while pressing my slick, soapy body against hers. Our nipples graze each other’s and I feel my clit throbbing with need. I want nothing more than to have her mouth lapping up my dripping pussy juices.

Seven pulls away, her chest heaving as she tries to catch her breath.

“Star, share. You have to share. I can’t be just yours anymore.”

That doesn’t stop me. It isn’t anything we haven’t done before, and if sharing Seven with her new boyfriend, Levi, is what I have to do to have her before I leave, it is exactly what I will do. I don’t stop.

I continue running my lips down Seven’s collarbone, heading right for her gorgeous breasts. Her hands run through my wet, silky hair as I take one of her pierced nipples in my mouth. A moan slips past her lips, and I tug on her barbells with my teeth while my free hand snakes between her legs. I insert one finger at a time into Seven’s bare and completely soaked cunt. Everything about her pussy is downright fucking heavenly.

My lips continue down her body, cherishing every inch with divine licks and kisses, only stopping when I make my way to her glistening pussy. Wet and ready. All for me. Her back is firmly pressed against the wall as the warm water continues cascading around us. My fingers part the lips, and my tongue goes to work, licking and teasing her beautifully swollen clit. With the first swipe of my tongue, her moans echo through the bathroom. My mouth continues to tease and nibble on her nub, before I slide my tongue slowly into her wet cunt.

“Oh God! That feels so fucking good.” Her words cheer me on, as I continue licking her pussy. I love it when she talks dirty to me.

“What the fuck?” I hear a deep voice bellow from outside the glass doors, just as the door swings open. Levi stands there, clearly seeing red. Until his eyes land on me. Was he expecting someone else? Another guy?

Seven jumps ten feet in the fucking air and I pull away, pussy juices dripping down my face. We both stand there, looking at Levi, waiting to see what’s going to happen next.

“I told you, Star. You have to share.”

Seven nods at Levi, who is standing there with his mouth hanging open. I’m sure he didn’t expect to come home and find his girlfriend with her best friend between her legs.

“I’m sorry, Levi. But if you want to join us, you’re welcome. We were kind of…” Seven pauses for a moment before she continues to speak.

“Making up.”

I guess making up really is an accurate way to describe whatever this is. In the back of my mind, though, this is a goodbye. I just don’t want to tell Seven yet.

Levi starts pulling at his clothes, like he can’t get them off fast enough. I want to laugh at how anxious he is to join us. But Seven stops him once again.

“One rule.” She pauses for a long minute, and I can tell she’s nervous. I haven’t seen that look on her face since the first time we fucked.

“You must wear a condom if you fuck her. You can bareback me all you want. Her, no dice.”

She takes charge, just like she always does. To be honest, I don’t want to fuck Levi at all. Whatever it is that they have going on is far more than one of Seven’s one night stands. That’s obvious by her choice not to use condoms with him. Certainly a first for her. I don’t want to get in the middle of what they have; it’s not my place. I just want her.

He nods and continues to strip. As his boxer-briefs fall to the floor, I can’t help but let out a gasp. His fucking dick is huge. I mean, I have seen some big dicks in my time, but this boy would be porno gold.

“I guess that’s why you keep this one around.” I continue to stare at Levi’s gorgeous cock.

“Come here, Levi,” Seven says, and he takes his position between the two of us. I watch him like a fresh piece of meat, but I’m almost pissed that he’s coming between Seven and me before I’ve had time to get off. The fun was just beginning when he decided to walk in and join our party.

“Fuck me, now. Up against this wall. Hard and fast.”

Possessive Seven makes her appearance, and I know exactly where this is going. She has no intention of sharing Levi, despite all of the men we have enjoyed together in the past. She continues to demand his attention, to pull him in her direction. Everything about her screams, mine. She is marking her territory. She might as well piss on him. It’s hysterical and endearing all at once. Finally, Seven James has fallen in love. Real fucking love. It is clear from her actions, her controlling nature over him when I walk into the picture. I’m not the jealous type, but right now, I wish I could be Levi, or even Seven.

His arms wrap around her waist, and Seven wraps her legs around him, pressing the heels of her feet right into his ass. I stand alongside them, watching, as I begin to finger myself again. I roll my fingers over my hard clit, before I press two fingers inside my cunt, searching for my g spot and some sort of relief. I need to fucking come already.

In one hard thrust, Levi plows his dick inside of Seven. I’m jealous, because I wish I was him right now. He follows her instructions carefully, fucking her hard against the shower wall. His hand reaches between their slippery bodies, grazing his thumb over her swollen clit, and that’s when I see it. Seven starts to let go, and she comes all over his dick. He claims her orgasm, when I want to.

“Fuck! Levi! Feels so fucking good. Fuck my pussy harder!” Her words are sexy, and I continue working my cunt, praying for some sort of relief.

“Your pussy is fucking heaven,” he grunts against her neck, and I can’t help but laugh.

“I completely agree with that, Levi. Her fucking cunt is heaven!” I want a piece of it, but instead I run my fingers over my erect nipples, gently tugging at each one as my fingers rub my clit.

“Oh fuck,” Levi gasps as he slams one final time inside Seven. I know they’re finished, and I’m still looking for my own release. Watching them maul each other with such erotic and carnal passion has done me in. I flick my clit one last time, and my own orgasm squirts all over the floor of the shower. I’m embarrassed. Seven has seen me release like that for years, but Levi’s new. I don’t think he even notices, though, because he is so focused on Seven.

I lean against the wall and watch as Levi slowly starts to pull his softening dick out of Seven’s dripping cunt.

“Lick my cunt clean, Star.”

She doesn’t have to ask me twice. I step in front of her and lower to my knees on the shower floor. Levi grunts; his hand reaches down for his semi-erect cock and begins stroking. I waste no time going to work, licking and sucking on Seven’s deliciously used pussy, cleaning every ounce of Levi’s come from her.

With her cunt still in my mouth, I speak. “I want a ride on that.” I motion to Levi’s dick. I’ve had a lot of dick in my lifetime, but there is just something about that one that I don’t want to pass up. Maybe it’s the size and girth combination, but holy fuck. She is one lucky woman.

“I’ve got a better idea,” Seven counters. “This is what we are going to do when we get out of here. First, I am going to get my strap-on. Then I am going to fuck you, while Levi fucks me.”

I can’t argue with that. I couldn’t think of a more perfect way to end this night. I nod in agreement, and we all rinse off and head for the bedroom.

I stand in front of the mirror in the spare bedroom examining all the bruises on my body. I want to go to sleep, but I know Seven and Levi are waiting for me in her colossal bed. Would she really be upset if I didn’t join them? Would it damage our already broken friendship? Or would it help to repair the destruction I’ve already caused? I slide my floor length, white silk robe over my shoulders and tightly tie the belt.

The decision is final. I don’t want to join them. The shower was more than enough. If I could have a night of Seven alone, that would be one thing. This sharing thing with someone she clearly cares about just isn’t for me. Love and sex just don’t mix for me. Unless it’s with Seven.

I make my way down the hall and tap lightly on her bedroom door before entering the room. Seven and Levi are lying on the bed together, her soft naked body wrapped in his strong arms. His gaze never meets mine, not once, because he is so wrapped up in my best friend. I can empathize, because I’ve been there. Someday, I will admit that Seven was my first love, but now certainly isn’t the time.

My decision to walk away flies out the window. I fucking hate being so confused, but I can’t help it when it comes to Seven. Everything about her screams touch me.

I slip my robe off, and slide into bed next to her. I run my fingers through her wet hair, and her body goes rigid. Something is wrong. Her body has never once rejected my touch, and it’s a slap to the face. I want to cry, but I won’t let them see me hurt.

“I can’t do this.”

She sits up and the rejection stings. Once again, I am put aside for someone else. The story of my life. I always thought Seven could relate, because she was always the unwanted child in her family. We bonded over that. We became each other’s rocks. Now, she’s pulling away, like everyone else.

“I’m sorry, Star. I love you, and I always will, but I just can’t do this anymore. I never thought there would be a day when I just couldn’t share anymore. But I’ve made it there.”

I don’t want to be, but I’m happy for her. I am a giant selfish bitch for being upset by it. Who wouldn’t want their unavailable best friend to finally fall for someone? I couldn’t keep her forever, because Seven was never mine to begin with. Even if she is all I’ve ever wanted.

Maybe it isn’t Seven. Maybe I have always just wanted someone who will love me for the fucked up ball of mood swings I am? My very own love. My very own happily ever after. Is it possible? If Seven James can get one, I may just have a fighting chance.

“It’s okay, Seven. You don’t have to apologize for finally finding happiness in your life. I can tell by the way you look at him. He’s good for you.”

I stand up and pick up the long white robe, slipping into it.

“You will always be my best friend, no matter what. We may not be little kids anymore, but you will always be my sister.”

And like that, I walk out the door, down the hallway, and to the guest room, where I finish packing up my bags. I want to be gone in the morning before Seven gets up for work.

All night long, I pray sleep will take me. But it doesn’t. I toss and turn in the spare bedroom. I stare at the ceiling as if it holds the answers to life. I play games on my cell phone and cruise Instagram to catch up with friends. Through it all, my mind won’t stop racing. I contemplate getting out of bed and going to Seven so many times throughout the night, but decide it’s against my better judgment.

Somewhere between memories of my childhood and the birth of my daughter, I pass out. It isn’t for long, because I’m startled by a nightmare. The tears gently trickle down my face, and I’m forced to face the reality of giving away my daughter yet again. I have buried my feelings for so long that I need to just stop. I need to get it out. I need to tell my entire story. I need to tell Seven. Without the holes.

I look at the small black clock on the nightstand; it reads quarter after three, and I quietly walk down the hallway and into her bedroom. She’s wrapped in Levi’s arms, sleeping like an angel. I don’t want to wake her up, but I need to. It is the right thing to do.

I tap her shoulder, and she blinks her green eyes open, turning her head to find me. Slowly, she pulls out from under Levi’s embrace. He stretches and peers through one eye.

“It’s okay, babe. Go back to sleep,” Seven whispers, and he rolls over, falling back asleep.

She takes my hand, and we move to the leather couch in the living room. I pull my knees up to my chest and turn to face her. I feel like a little kid, on the verge of confessing my transgressions to my mother. Except my own mother wouldn’t have given a flying fuck.

“Seven, after that time, when you caught us, he wouldn’t stop.” I let out a long sigh and pause, thinking about the right way to deliver this tale of terror. I want to hold back, but the longer I keep it all in, the more it tears me apart. “He continued to force me to sleep with him me for two years. The first time, he raped me. I hated it. But I liked it at the same time. My mind and body clashed. I wanted to hate every second of it, but my body craved more. He got violent; he treated me badly. Then I got pregnant, and he wouldn’t come near me again.”

I don’t want to go into details. The thoughts make me sick. The idea of Blue’s hands running along my body makes my stomach churn. I can tell my words cut her deep. She doesn’t need to know any more of the disgusting details. She has a laundry list of reasons to hate Blue already. We all do. Telling her any more would just ruin her. I can’t do that.

The expression on Seven’s face is heartbreaking. A mixture of emotions continue to run through her. There is clear hurt, and rage. I can always spot when she is about to blow, and she is close. She feels pity, and disappointment. In me? In herself? In our parents? Her brother? Where do you place the blame when something so tragic happens?

“I want to find her. I want to find Willow,” I whisper. I don’t know what else to say. There is no plan, except to go to the last place I know she was. Woodstock, New York, where I gave birth to her.

Seven nods, and pulls me into a hug.

“We will find her, Star. I will stop at nothing to help you.” Like that, I fall asleep, safe in Seven’s arms.