Full Tilt

48

Edina, Minnesota

OMG, this is totally stupid!

Ashley Ostermelle slammed her bedroom door and fell onto her bed. She hated book reports-loathed and despised them! They should be banned from the universe!

Ashley swiped the stupid textbooks from her bed and they thudded to the floor.

“We can do without the drama up there, young lady!”

There should be some sort of United Nations law about what cruel punishment it is to make fourteen-year-old girls do reports on stupid books written by dead old English guys!

Why was her mother being so unreasonable?

Would someone please tell her why?

To order her to redo her essay or she wouldn’t be allowed to go to Courtney’s party was just plain mean. She’d worked hard on this thing. Still, her mother said that she’d missed the point, that she hadn’t addressed the questions about the book’s characters, about themes, about applying them to life today.

You can’t be serious, Mother! I did my best! It’s Charles Dickens! He’s been dead, like for a million years, so why should I care about Great Expectations?

Great expectations.

That must be code for what parents have for their children.

Her mother was a nurse. Her father was a carpenter who built houses. They were both perfectionists and Ashley felt they wanted her to be perfect, too.

The perfect child with the perfect grades to get into the perfect school and have the perfect life.

Well, guess what, Mother? I’m not perfect. Maybe I’ll end up being a crazy old lady like that Miss Havisham, living like a ghost in my gross bug-filled old house with my rotting wedding dress. Miss Havisham was dumb. You don’t let your life stop after a big disappointment. You have to keep going or you end up like a dead thing stuck in the past.

Wait a minute.

That’s it, that’s a theme about a character you can apply to your life.

No. No. It won’t work. How do I write that so it sounds all scholarly? I don’t know. This is so hard!

“You stay off your phone and get to work, Ashley!”

“I am working on it! Stop torturing me!”

Ashley’s phone chirped with a message, then another, then another.

Something was going on. It started with Breen. She had news about “an incident” she’d witnessed at school today. Nick Patterson, the boy Ashley was secretly in love with had just asked Shawna Cano for a date.

No! No! No! My life’s over!

Breen was telling everyone that it happened after school while they were waiting for the bus and Nick just walked up alone to a group where Shawna and Breen were and asked Shawna if she wanted to maybe go to McDonald’s or something sometime with him or whatever, and if not, he was cool with that, and how Shawna, who really liked him, said sure that would be fun and how Nick walked away smiling his dreamy smile. Everyone was now saying how that had to be the most romantic, bravest thing for Nick to do, right out there in front of everybody.

Ashley stuffed her face in her pillow.

Her life had been reduced to crap.

How did this happen?

It had to have been that day Nick had walked near her when she was at her locker with Madison and Madison was saying “Don’t move,” because Nick was standing three feet behind her talking to Brendan. Ashley wanted Madison to take a picture of him that close to her, he was so hot. Then Ashley thought of that horrible pimple she had on her forehead and began rummaging through her bag for her makeup. That’s when her books and stuff splashed on the floor and when she got down to pick stuff up, Nick just backed away still talking to Brendan.

Like I didn’t even exist!

Oh, my God. My life is ruined. I’m going to die. I need help. I need guidance. Still gripping her phone, Ashley texted Jenn.

OMFG where are you I need you!

It’d been several days since she last heard from her older and wiser friend from Milwaukee. And now she could really use help from an experienced woman of the world.

Like an answered prayer, Ashley’s phone chirped.

Sorry, been mega busy with stuff. I’m here, I’m here, what’s up?

In a series of desperate texts, Ashley told Jenn everything.

Don’t worry. It’ll be okay. I’ll get you through this.

Thanks, I needed to hear that.

BTW. Remember how my parents want to visit the Mall of America?

Yes.

I think it’s going to happen really soon. We should meet.

Definitely!!! Yes I soooo want to meet you!!!

It’ll be awesome, just me and you!

AH I can’t wait!

Me neither ahh!!