Funeral for a Friend

21

“We didn’t break in to Wyatt’s place,” Cat told Stride. “Colleen had a key. He gave her a key. Doesn’t that make it okay?”

Stride sighed in the doorway of her bedroom. “It wasn’t her apartment. Colleen may have had a key, but she didn’t have permission from Wyatt to go inside. So no. It’s not okay.”

He watched Cat twist her hair in exasperation. She got off her bed, went to the window and looked out at the street, and then came back. “But now we know it’s him. I saw the pictures. He has a gun. You still can’t do anything?”

“Like arrest him? I’m sorry. I wish I could, but no. As far as the police and the courts are concerned, nothing you saw in there actually exists.”

“What if Colleen gives you a statement that Wyatt told her it was okay to go inside?”

“Is that true?” Stride asked.

“It could be true. I’m sure she’d say it was true.”

“I don’t play games like that, Cat. You know that.”

“But what am I supposed to do?” she asked.

Stride sat down next to her on the bed. “The first thing you do is not ditch Brayden again. Got it? He’s there to protect you. His job is to keep you safe. He can’t do that if you disappear on him.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Do the two of you not get along?” Stride asked. “I can find someone else to go with you if that’s the problem.”

“No, no, I like him a lot! I don’t want him in trouble. This was my fault.”

“Then let him do his job.”

“And what about Wyatt?” Cat asked.

“I’ve asked Guppo to find out whatever he can about him, but like Brayden says, there doesn’t seem to be much that’s suspicious in his past. But we’ll keep looking. If we find anything that would give us cause to get a search warrant, we’ll go into his apartment. With the photos there, we’d be able to get a restraining order to keep him away from you. Maybe more. If there’s evidence that he broke the law, we’ll charge him.”

“Like that’ll stop him,” Cat said, rolling her eyes.

“I know it doesn’t seem like much. I wish the law worked better in these situations, but it doesn’t. In the end, most of these people aren’t actually dangerous, just confused, but we’re not going to take any chances.”

Cat shook her head. “Wyatt thinks he’s in love with me, Stride. He’s obsessed. You saw the note. You saw what he did to my car. Those pictures? He’s been following me for weeks. He freaks me out.”

“Believe me, I’m worried, too.”

The girl got up again, and this time she pulled down the shades on all of the windows. “I hate living like this. He makes me feel like a prisoner in my own house.”

“It won’t be forever.”

“Yeah. I know. But it never ends with me.”

“Do you want me to stay with you for a while?”

She shook her head. “No. That’s okay.”

“Try to get some sleep.”

Stride turned to leave, but Cat called after him. “Hey, Stride? Actually, can I ask you something before you go?”

“Sure. What is it?”

“Everything’s been about me lately, but I know things are going on with you, too. I don’t want you thinking I don’t care. What’s all this stuff about a body at Dr. Steve’s place? And about you getting suspended from the police?”

“You don’t need to worry about that,” Stride assured her. “It’s my problem, not yours.”

He saw her face flush with anger. She crossed her arms tightly over her chest. “That’s a terrible answer.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, why do you shut me out like that? You do it to Serena, too.”

Stride didn’t know what to say. “Force of habit, I guess.”

“I hate that you do that.”

“I’m sorry, Cat.”

“I know I’ll always be a stupid little knocked up hooker to you. But give me some credit for growing up. I’m not the girl I used to be.”

He was genuinely shocked to hear her say that. “I never thought that about you, Catalina. Not ever.”

Cat got off the bed and marched up to him. “Then talk to me! Come on, Stride. Talk to me like I matter, not like I’m some charity case you dragged from the street. Talk to me like you really need me.”

Stride put his arms around her. “Hey. You know how much I need you.”

Cat held onto him, and they stayed that way a long time. A wave of regret washed over him, because she was right. He was doing to her what he’d done to people throughout his life. He shut them out from who he was. He built a wall to keep them safe. Except the wall wasn’t there to protect anyone else; it was to protect himself.

He was always learning lessons from this girl.

Correction, he thought: Woman.

“Okay,” he said. “You’re right. Let’s talk.”

And he did. They sat down on her bed, and he told her everything, from start to finish. About his relationship with Andrea. About the Deeps. About Ned Baer. About lying to Maggie, about cheating on his wife, about things that had nothing to do with the investigation. He went back to his childhood and talked about people he hadn’t thought about in years. He cried about Steve again. He cried about Cindy again. He opened up his heart and told her things he’d never told anyone else. And when he was done, Cat did what she always did. She cut like a surgeon through everything that didn’t matter and went straight to what he was really hiding.

“You don’t want to be a cop anymore, do you?” she asked, her eyes wide. “Is that what this is all about?”

He took a long, slow breath. The question was very simple and not simple at all. “Honestly? I don’t know.”

“You had to kill someone this year. Is it because of that?”

“Partly. It’s about a lot of things. It’s been gathering for a while, ever since the marathon bombing. And it’s not like I have a plan to do anything, Cat. This is just something rolling around in my head. I guess being suspended didn’t bother me like I assumed it would. The idea of being outside the police was always impossible for me to think about. Now here I am, and I realize it almost feels like a relief.”

“Does Serena know?”

“Not yet.”

“What would you do if you didn’t go back?”

“I have no idea. I may feel differently about it tomorrow.”

Cat leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Thank you for telling me.”

“Thank you. I feel better talking about it.”

“You make me feel special when you open up to me,” she said.

“Well, you are special.”

“I’m sorry for yelling,” she added.

“Don’t worry about it. Sometimes that’s what it takes to get through to me.”

“I meant what I said. I’m older now. I’m not a kid.”

“I know that.”

She looked down uncomfortably at her lap, and her voice took on a whole different cast. “I love you, you know. I always have.”

Stride knew what she was saying. Her meaning was very clear.

He felt the delicacy of this moment, which as fragile as old china. He knew how easily he could hurt her, how profoundly he could damage their relationship if he patronized her or simply pretended that she meant something other than what she did. He had never been under any illusions about Cat and the sexuality hiding behind her feelings. That was part of who she was. When she’d first come into his house two years earlier, she’d made a clumsy attempt to seduce him, and after he shut her down, she’d never done anything like that again. But her feelings for him were still jumbled and confused by everything she’d been through in her life.

He took her chin and lifted it up so that she had to look into his eyes, which she didn’t want to do. Her expression was full of shame. She was already regretting what she’d said, as if she wanted to squeeze the genie back in the bottle.

“Do you know who I love?” he asked her.

“Serena,” she said.

“That’s right. I love Serena. But that’s not to say I don’t love you, too. It’s in a different way, but every bit as deep. You know that. You’re like a daughter to me, and I never thought I’d be lucky enough to know what that felt like.”

Cat nodded, biting her lip. She scooted away from him and wiped her face. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. You were being honest.”

“I hope somebody loves me like you love her. Someday.”

“Believe me,” he told her. “Somebody will.”

Stride very rarely got drunk, but that night, he decided that he wanted to get drunk. He took two six-packs of Bent Paddle onto the screened porch at the back of his cottage, and he sat on the old sofa and stared out at the darkness. The lake roared at him from behind the dunes, like an invitation to come to the beach, but he didn’t even have the energy to walk outside and climb over the sand. He simply opened the first beer and drank half of it down.

Then, as if to remind him that drinking was a foolish plan, a tapping on the glass of the storm door interrupted his solitude. He looked over and saw Curt Dickes outside, shuffling back and forth on his feet as if dancing to music that only he could hear.

Stride groaned and got off the sofa and opened the door. “Curt. What the hell are you doing here?”

“Hey, Lieutenant. Can I come in?”

“Oh, sure,” Stride replied acidly. “Why not?”

Curt wandered into the porch with his hands shoved in the pockets of his baggy shorts. He had his long, greasy black hair tied behind his head, and he wore a black T-shirt from Fitger’s Inn. His eyes shot to the six-packs on the table next to the sofa. “Golden IPA,” he said. “Cool. Can I have one?”

Stride rolled his eyes. “Knock yourself out.”

Curt grabbed a can of beer and popped the top. He slouched on the sofa and stretched out his long legs. “How’s Kitty Cat? I wanted to make sure she’s okay.”

Stride sat down on the sofa, too. “She’ll be fine.”

“Good. Good. That’s great. I like her, you know. I like her a lot. Not that I’d ever touch her. No way. We’re friends, and that’s all.”

Stride smiled. “You don’t have to worry about me, Curt. Serena’s the one to be concerned about.”

“Oh, yeah. This I know.”

“So what do you want?” Stride asked.

“Well, like I said, I wanted to check in about Cat. I figured you might be pissed about her running off with Colly. That’s Colleen, my girlfriend. By the way, just so you know, your boy Brayden didn’t do anything wrong. He was watching her like a hawk. I mean, really watching. But Cat never met a man she couldn’t outsmart.”

“I’m aware,” Stride said.

Curt squirmed restlessly on the sofa. He drank his beer fast. When he was done, he eyed the six-pack again, and Stride shrugged. Curt belched and took another. “Word is, you can’t really do anything about Wyatt stalking Cat. Not legally, I mean. No proof.”

“For the moment.”

“Uh-huh.” Curt rolled the cold beer can around in his hands, and Stride could tell he was nervous. “You know, I like you, Lieutenant. Always have. Even when you’re arresting me, you play fair. Maybe more than I deserve. Plus, you’ve got the hottest wife in town. Props for that.”

“Thanks,” Stride said warily.

“You’re Duluth born and raised, like me. We lifers have to stick together, right? We help each other out. Somebody’s in trouble, we do something about it.”

“Meaning what?”

“Meaning if you can’t touch Wyatt, maybe I can, know what I’m saying? I’ve got friends. No names or anything. But if you want the guy whacked, I can probably make that happen. Absolutely off the books. It would never come back on you.”

Stride felt a headache coming on. He rubbed his fingers against his forehead. “Curt, did you really just go to a police officer’s house and offer to have somebody whacked?”

“Hey, if you want, I could just have him roughed up. To send a message, you know?”

“I’m going to do both of us a favor and forget you ever said any of this, Curt. Okay? Just to be one hundred percent clear, you are not to touch Wyatt or solicit anyone else to harm him in any way. Got it?”

Curt shrugged. “Got it.”

“Do you really? This is not a wink-wink kind of thing. Stay away from him.”

“Yeah, okay. I was just thinking about Cat. I want to help her. Really.”

“I get that, Curt.”

Curt finished his next beer and belched again. He pushed himself off the sofa, but rather than leave, he stood on the porch looking uncomfortable.

“Is there something else?” Stride asked.

“Sort of. This isn’t about Cat. I don’t know if I should say anything.”

“Well, it can’t be worse than what you’ve said already.”

Curt’s lips pursed into a frown. “Except this involves kind of an on-going enterprise that could get me into trouble.”

“Give me a clue. If it’s not about Cat, what’s it about?”

“That guy you found. Ned Baer.”

Stride sat up straighter. “Talk to me.”

“I would, except it might be bad for business.”

Stride got off the sofa and put a firm hand on Curt’s shoulder. “We’ll call my porch the immunity zone. You get a free pass for anything you tell me here. What’s going on?”

Curt’s shoulders slumped in relief. “Okay, here’s the thing. You know I have a lot of entrepreneurial ventures. Some a little more legal than others. One of the things I do occasionally — and I’m talking very occasionally, hardly ever — is help people acquire handguns without a lot of red tape about permits and all. Especially out-of-towners who may be under time constraints about their purchases.”

Stride’s headache began to get worse. “I’m regretting my offer, Curt.”

“Seriously, it’s not often. Not anymore. In the old days, it was a bigger part of Curt, Inc., but not now. Anyway, the thing is, seven years ago, this guy Ned Baer bought a gun off me.”

“Ned bought a gun?” Stride asked in surprise. “Are you sure it was him? That was a long time ago.”

“I’m sure. His photo was in the paper, and I remember him clear as anything. When I met him, I was wearing a ZZ Top T-shirt, and he told me he was a roadie for the band back in college. So we spent a couple of hours comparing notes.”

“Do you remember the gun you sold him?”

“H&K 9 mm. That’s mostly what I sell.”

“Did Ned say why he wanted a gun?”

Curt nodded. “Oh, yeah. He wanted protection. He said somebody was following him, and he thought they might try to kill him.”