Gallery Whispers

55

Bob Skinner enjoyed the drive back to Gullane. In the relatively short period during which he and Sarah had made their main home in Edinburgh, he had missed the wind-down time which it afforded him, the opportunity to return to his family freed from the tensions of an invariably fraught day at the office.

A Seal CD was playing in the car, as he turned off the roundabout at the foot of the Milton Link, and headed past the hypermarket, out towards East Lothian. A light rain was falling, but nothing to make the road conditions hazardous, or to lessen his pleasure as he reflected upon the success of the Police Board meeting, and most of all, anticipated the pending return of the Chief Constable to the office.

'It's the loneliness that's the killer,' the singer whispered.

'You're right there, pal,' the policeman said aloud. 'That's what gets to me most of all about doing Jimmy's job. While you're hauling yourself up the ladder, you hear them talk about the loneliness of command, and you think, "What a load of crap! How can you be lonely when there's a whole force at your disposal?" Then you get there, and the door shuts, and for the first time in your life, you've got no sounding board; no senior officer to look in on and ask, "Am I doing right here?", and if you do that with a subordinate you're seen to be unsure of yourself and as soon as that happens you lose their absolute trust and as soon as that happens you're no longer truly in command…'

Lit by the orange light of the dashboard, he laughed out loud.

'Welcome back, Jimmy. Welcome-'

He broke off as the car phone rang. Killing the CD sound, he pressed the receive button. 'Yes,' he said, anonymously, to the handsfree mike above his eyeline.

'Pops?'Alex's voice bubbled into the car. 'It's me.'

'Never,' he retorted.

'Don't be so smart,' she told him. 'Andy called. He said you needed to speak to me. I rang Fettes; and they said you had just left.'

'Yes,' Bob replied. 'I tried to get you at Gina's last night. Didn't she tell you?'

'I didn't see her. I got in late,' From her cousin's place, she thought, smiling wickedly at the other end of the line, 'and she left early this morning. What's the panic?'

'No panic. Far from it. Something I have to tell you, that's all.

You're going to be a sister again.'

There was a silence in the car. 'Pops,' she exclaimed at last. 'That is great. Sarah told me you had another baby in mind. I'm really chuffed for you both.'

'Thanks kid. I hoped you would be.' Looking ahead, at the road, he imagined he could see her face. 'But just for a moment there, I thought-'

'Don't be daft. I couldn't be more pleased. I'll phone Sarah now.'

'Yes, you do that. She's dead keen to share it with another female.'

He paused.

'How're you doing? I haven't seen you since yon time-'

'I'm doing fine, Pops. Never better.'

'You've no regrets then; about claiming your life back?'

'None. It was something I needed to do, for Andy's sake as well as mine. I think he realises that. Now I've done it, I've never been happier.'

'That's good. That's certainly how you sound. A lot more settled in yourself.' He felt himself frown. 'You know, Alex, I'm pretty sure that's what went wrong with your mother. She gave up too much of her youth too soon; that's why she went off the rails. I'm glad that you've spotted that danger, and done something about it before it was too late. You and Andy will be the better for it, I'm sure of that.'

'I'm sure we will, Pops.' He heard her laugh softly. 'We are already, believe me.'

'That's good.' In the dark, he sighed. 'You know, kid, I've never really thought about it before, but you sound like her. You sound just like Myra.'