Gameboard of the Gods

CHAPTER 36 THE OTHER PATTERN

Justin wrote out two versions of his official report on the events at the Morrigan’s temple. He knew both Mae and Leo would back up whichever version got sent. The decision now rested on him, and he put it off for as long as possible, which was easy to do since SCI left him hanging for almost a week after the raid. Finally, a passive-aggressive message came in from Cornelia, telling him she wanted a meeting and that it would be “useful” to have the report beforehand, so that she knew what the meeting was actually about.

That was an exaggeration, of course. The police had a broad picture of what had happened that night, and he knew Internal Security had hit the jackpot with evidence linking the cult to the murders. Nonetheless, his words, describing the specifics, would put the final stamp on this case—and possibly on his life.

So, he went back and forth, taking no action and vowing that when he did, he’d do it sober—which was easier said than done in these long, empty days waiting for SCI to get its act together. One thing both versions of the report shared was a harrowing tale of Mae’s heroics, how she took out impossible numbers of attackers and finally was forced to kill Emil in self-defense. It was Justin’s favor to both her and Leo and would also go a long way toward getting Mae back to the regular prætorian duty she longed for. Sure, she’d still have to cope with the mental fallout of the supernatural proceedings she’d witnessed, not to mention the earth-shattering revelations about her birth, but she was strong. She would survive and move on, eventually forgetting him.

I thought the self-pity and melodrama would end after Panama, said Magnus one evening as Justin mulled over his fate. But you’ve managed to take it to new heights.

I’m not being melodramatic, just stating a fact. She’s hardly returned my calls, and it’s better for both of us that way. She’s getting on with her life, and I’m going to do the same. No point in sitting around.

Actually, that’s kind of what you’ve been doing for the last week, Horatio retorted. Unless you consider those roommates you went out with last night a worthy use of your time.

Very worthy, Justin assured him.

You’ve gone through so much and seen so much, yet here you are, back to drinking, dice, and women, scolded Magnus. At the very least, you should work on your runes in your downtime.

No. One was enough.

Justin didn’t want to do any more embracing of higher powers quite yet. He’d grown comfortable in exile with the ravens and the idea of a nebulous godly patron keeping track of him. Being face-to-face with powers of the magnitude he’d seen recently had been staggering, however, enough to make him seriously uneasy about his own future. Even the small charm he’d performed for Mae had left him unsettled, as was acknowledging that she was one of the elect. Seeing exactly what a deity could do made him want to avoid serving one more than ever. Mae was unquestionably off-limits, and her distance this week had made it easier to strengthen his resolve against future entanglements.

No, he told the ravens. No Mae, no magic. I’m going to make a call on this goddamned report now and send it off. Then I’m going barhopping in the hopes of finding more creative roommates. Or maybe twins.

No, you aren’t, said Horatio. You’re going to Tessa’s expo.

Justin had nearly forgotten about tonight. Tessa had finally been readmitted to school, and her film class was having a viewing of all of the students’ short documentaries, open to friends and family. The idea of watching two hours of student films made Justin want to gouge his eyes out, but Cynthia had threatened to gouge a lot more if he didn’t go.

And so, a couple of hours later, he went to the high school with Cynthia and Quentin and made himself comfortable in one of the auditorium’s seats. Most of the films were as inane as he’d expected, but thankfully, none were over ten minutes. It gave his mind a chance to wander over the report dilemma. He’d almost convinced himself of what he’d do when Tessa’s turn came.

She walked out onstage, wearing one of the dresses they’d bought that first week. Her hair was still as long as ever, but at least she no longer wore it in an obviously provincial way. He thought she looked adorable and dared anyone to say otherwise. She gave a small, succinct introduction about her film and how it was inspired by being an immigrant. Her speech was delivered in a loud, clear voice, but he heard a few people around him grumble about the accent. No wonder she always seemed so irate after school.

Her film was brilliant—and he was certain it wasn’t just because of his bias. Her observations gave the Gemman audience a mirror for some of its odder idiosyncrasies, though he suspected most of tonight’s viewers didn’t find them odd at all. There was a poignancy to it that struck him deeply, and most of all, it was honest. Gemmans liked to act as though their world was out in the open, what with all the shows and documentaries peering into people’s lives. But they were all edited and dressed up to create an image. Reporters and directors defined the truth—even he did in his job, according to Tessa. She did none of that, though. She didn’t spin or sensationalize or grasp for things that weren’t there. She simply told the truth. It was a talent—no, a gift, that she didn’t even realize she possessed.

“Was it as bad as you thought?” Cynthia asked him later as they walked along a downtown sidewalk. They’d decided to take the family out to dinner, and Poppy—who Justin was sure really would be in a miscreant girls camp someday—had come along. Quentin and the two girls walked ahead, and he was attempting eight-year-old flirting, which Justin took as a promising sign.

“No.”

Cynthia gave Justin an expectant look. “This is the part where you say, ‘It was worse.’”

He smiled and shook his head. “It wasn’t.”

“What’s the matter with you tonight?” she asked when he said nothing else.

“Cyn, what do you think was ultimately wrong with Mom as a parent?”

Cynthia nearly tripped, and he caught hold of her arm. “Are you seriously asking me that?”

“I don’t mean the obvious stuff. I mean, I do, but…I don’t know. There’s something more basic to her personality, something I’m trying to figure out, that had such an impact on the way she raised us.”

“There’s nothing secret or mystical about it, Justin. She’s an addict. Addicts have a dependence on certain substances and behaviors that become more important than everything else—even people. Even their children.”

“Have you been taking psych classes?”

“Every day of my life,” she retorted.

He stared ahead, barely seeing the crowds and endlessly flashing advertisements. “You know, when they came to offer me admission to the Hart School, they gave Mom a chance for you too.”

“Yes,” said Cynthia quietly. “I found out about that later.”

It was something they rarely spoke about but that always lay between them. Justin had been “discovered” one day in the Anchorage Summer Market by a woman who taught at a private school on the other side of the city, in a much more affluent neighborhood. She’d been dazzled by his and Cynthia’s guessing-game performance and questioned them extensively about it. He’d realized immediately that her interest was legitimate and had eagerly explained the way he watched people, turning on all the charisma he’d already learned at eleven. Cynthia, younger and warier, had thought they were going to get into trouble and had been reluctant to speak.

Although both siblings had impressed the woman, her power to get a charity scholarship could only initially extend to one student, and she’d chosen Justin. That switch had changed his life. Being put among students from affluent and well-educated tiers of society had propelled Justin toward one himself, opening doors he never could have had in his old life. His benefactor had later found a workaround way to get Cynthia in, but it required more government hoops than their mother was willing to jump through. Cynthia had been left behind.

“Why wouldn’t she do it?” Justin asked Cynthia. “She loved us. In her way. All she would’ve had to do was fill out some paperwork and get a job—any job, even a part-time one—and they would’ve processed you through too. She could’ve even managed a subsidy to move across town!”

“It was too risky,” Cynthia said. “She would’ve lost her rations and federal allowance.”

“But she’s a gambler. And between the subsidy and job, she would’ve ended up making more. She could’ve gotten high more often. She should’ve liked that.”

“Too risky. Her life wasn’t ideal, but it was comfortable and familiar. If she’d gone to all that trouble to get me transferred too, and something went wrong—like I hated the school or she lost her job—it would’ve been a bitch to go through all the social-aid procedure again.”

“Yeah, but shouldn’t it have been worth the risk that you might achieve greatness?”

“I’ll ignore the subtext there—that I obviously haven’t achieved greatness. But the point remains: Even though she liked to gamble, there were some risks Mom wouldn’t take, not when her comfort was on the line. She went with the sure thing.” Cynthia eyed him carefully. “Why do I have a feeling this isn’t really about Mom?”

“It’s about Tessa,” he said in a rare moment of transparency. “I’m trying to make a decision that’ll affect her future.”

It took Cynthia several moments to process that, and when she did, her face was full of incredulity. “Why did you even use the word ‘trying’? There’s nothing to decide. Just do what’s best for her.”

“Doing it involves a risk,” he said.

“Then you’d better decide how important her ‘greatness’ is to you.”

Justin pondered her words over dinner and said little to the others. When they got back home later, he went straight to his office and finally sent one of the reports off to Cornelia. As he did, he noticed he had an unread message from Lucian.

Justin,

Word’s gotten around about the brilliant servitor and valiant prætorian responsible for busting open the patrician murders. Don’t worry, I’ll let them keep thinking you’re a genius—because that’s the kind of friend I am. In return, a good friend like you should come to an upcoming fund-raiser the party’s having for me, and you should bring your valiant prætorian. It’s black-tie, and I’ll make sure you’re seated with some of the prettier donors. No one will think twice about heroes coming to an event like that, even patrician ones. Think about it, and convince her too. I already asked her and haven’t heard anything back. It’s a pretty clever compromise, though, one that’ll finally give me the semblance of an evening out with her that won’t end up on the national news.

Whatever satisfaction Justin felt at learning Mae was ignoring Lucian was immediately killed when he got to “clever compromise.” The world came grinding to a halt, and Justin gripped the arms of his chair. Clever compromise. Those were the words Geraki had used in the Internal Security holding cell when he’d claimed the god he served had a message for Justin. Yield your stars and flowers and accept the clever compromise.

That was what this god wanted? For Justin to help set Mae up on a faux date with Lucian? It was ridiculous.

You promised Geraki you would, Horatio warned him. When he helped you find the Morrigan. You said you’d do what our boss asked.

That was before I knew what it was! No way am I going to help set Mae up with Lucian, even for something like this. He just wants her because he can’t have her. He knows nothing about her except that the pants she had on when they met made her ass look great.

I thought you weren’t interested in her, jabbed Horatio.

It’s not interest. I’m stating a fact. Why aren’t you chiming in, Magnus?

The other raven sounded forlorn. Because I don’t know what to do. We have to obey our god. But I don’t want to give her to him. I just can’t trust him.

But one thing that came out of this was Justin’s acceptance that he needed to do something very unwelcome and very unpleasant: talk to Geraki. This time, with no cameras and no pretenses from either of them. Justin had to go in with as much out in the open as he could. He called Geraki—who was irritatingly gleeful—and set up a meeting for the following day, just before Cornelia’s debriefing.

When Justin showed up at the designated restaurant, Geraki was already there, sitting at a dark corner table that seemed to have been designed for him.

“You can’t imagine how delighted I was by your call last night.” Geraki grinned as Justin took a chair. “Is it a breach of the restraining order if you seek me out?”

“Depends on what you do.” Justin brought up the menu screen and ordered bourbon. After a moment’s consideration, he made it a double.

“I miss that, you know,” said Geraki. “I used to love a good Pinot Noir.”

“I know a guy who makes some, but it’s not actually any good. Still, you could probably get a discount on it.”

Geraki nodded to the glass of water on the table. “I have to keep my body pure now, in order to hear my master’s voice.”

“Are we going to finally talk about your god? The one whose name no one will tell me?”

“We’re here to talk about anything you like. You’re the one who contacted me.”

Justin took a deep breath. It was now or never. “I finally figured out that message you gave me—about yielding my stars and flowers. I know what it means.”

“I don’t.” Geraki sipped his water with as much reverence as he’d give a fine wine. “It made no sense to me then or now. I just relayed the message. Are you going to fulfill its terms? You promised, you know. I helped you, and you gave your word to him.”

“Your master.”

“Our master,” corrected Geraki.

“Great. Are we back to us being brothers? My master is a woman with terrible hair who hates me.”

“Why are you asking me questions if you don’t believe the answers?” asked Geraki. “And what answer do you actually expect me to give that you would believe?”

“I don’t know,” Justin admitted. He felt weary and wished he’d taken more Exerzol.

“Then why are you here?”

“Because I’ve seen things—wondrous and terrible things that have no human explanation. And I accept—I had to a long time ago—that there are powerful forces in our world. The thing is, I know there’s something bigger going on. I can feel it. It’s more than a jumble of gods and supernatural feats. There’s a pattern, but I can’t find this one—or where I fit in.”

Geraki laughed softly. “That’s maddening for you, isn’t it? Not being in on the master plan.”

Justin’s response was interrupted when a waitress came by with his bourbon. She had cropped brown hair and no bra on under her white tank top. A silver tongue piercing glittered when she spoke, reminding him of a girl he’d gone out with in college. After blatantly checking him out, she smiled and sauntered away.

Geraki grimaced. “You don’t waste time, do you?”

“Or opportunities.”

“You’re wasting a woman who’s worth ten of that one.”

“Who, Mae?” Justin shook his head. “No. There’s nothing like that going on between us.”

“Then you must be an idiot.” The ravens loved that. “She’s a powerful elect who can’t help but attract the divine.”

“Yeah, we kind of noticed, seeing as she finally broke free from a death goddess that’s stalked her since birth.”

“There’ll be more trying to woo her.” Geraki got an eerie gleam in his eye, making him look very much like the prophet he claimed to be. Justin suddenly had a flashback to Mae burning with light and life in Claude’s temple, when the ravens said another god had made a move on her. “It’ll be interesting to see who gains her services. She’s a remarkable woman. Magnificent.”

“Well, if you’re so interested in her, she’s available.”

The self-righteous look on Geraki’s face told Justin what was coming. “I no longer engage in carnal activity. I told you, a prophet’s body must be pure to hear the god’s voice. A priest, on the other hand…” He shrugged. “You have a different role. You have no restrictions with a woman like that.”

“And I told you I don’t want her.”

“Then you must be an idiot,” Geraki repeated. “Which makes it stranger that you were chosen by our god. But we’ll put aside the glorious woman you allegedly don’t want. Obviously, you’ve seen something else of note, if not her.”

“I’ve seen lots of things. I’ve seen the servants of a death goddess turn to smoke and gain supernatural strength and speed. I’ve seen genetically perfect people created from sacrifices to that same goddess. I fought a woman who turned into a jaguar. I’ve watched your ‘prophecies’ come true. I saw two ravens appear out of thin air and save my life, and now they won’t leave me alone.” Justin had no idea why he was spilling all of this. At least no one would believe Geraki anyway if he repeated it.

Geraki smiled and nodded along. “Ah, yes. Your thought and memory. Are you used to them yet? I had trouble with the wolves at first, but now I enjoy them. But then, I spend so much time alone in meditation that it’s actually nice having the company.”

Justin had once kind of wanted to find someone else who heard voices, but this wasn’t what he’d imagined. “You obviously think you have some insight into the big picture here. Are you going to keep dangling it in front of me or finally come clean?”

The smugness and cynicism vanished from Geraki’s face, and he leaned across the table. “You want the truth, Servant of Truth? The truth is, when you banish the gods from the world, they eventually come back—with a vengeance. Humans can’t stay away from gods, and gods can’t stay away from humans. It’s the natural order of things. Our country’s treatment of the divine was too harsh after the Decline. Our people have pushed the gods away for too long, and now the divine is pushing back. That’s why these forces are stirring around us. There’s a vacuum here, and entities we haven’t seen for a very long time are rushing in, seeking followers. Belief is what powers the gods, and they’re picking out their elect to conduct their earthly business.”

His words chilled Justin because in some part of him, he knew it was all true. “How are the elect chosen?”

“All sorts of reasons. Sometimes it’s shared blood and heritage. Sometimes it’s about strength and usefulness—or alleged cleverness. Whatever’s a match to that god’s attributes and agenda. We’re pieces on a gameboard, Dr. March, and some of us are more powerful than others. You. Me. Her. We’re the ones the gods want. We’re the ones they’re fighting over. Of course, my allegiance is already sealed.”

“And I suppose you consider yourself the king on this board?”

“You must not have played chess in a while. The king is the weakest piece in the game.” He gave Justin a level look. “The queen’s the strongest.”

“What is it you and your master expect from me in this game? To use my alleged cleverness to convert new followers?”

Geraki shrugged. “That’d be a start. More followers means more belief, which means more power. Others will be doing the same for their gods. We’re not the only ones who know what’s happening. Your human masters know. So do powerful people you don’t even suspect. This won’t stay contained, and everyone will fight for the gods they’ve sworn to serve. Don’t you want to be on the winning side? We need to fight for ours.”

“I haven’t ‘sworn’ to anyone or anything,” Justin said.

“No.” Geraki sighed. “Which is a shame. You won’t be able to learn the full extent of his wisdom or grasp your power until you accept him. He’s already accepted you. You even have his mark.”

Geraki pushed up his sleeve, and Justin’s heart nearly stopped. There, tattooed in blue, was a symbol identical to the scar Justin had received in the fire, that same odd F-shape.

“Where,” Justin breathed, “did you get that?”

“From a tattooist on Brooks Street. Oh. The idea? Our god sent it to me.”

The room swayed a little, but Justin’s bourbon was only half-gone. “This is impossible.”

“Is it?” Geraki’s eyes seemed to see right into Justin’s heart. “He’s marked us both. I hear his voice, and you will deliver it. Everything I’ve said about the powers returning to the world…you know it’s all true. I know you feel it. You can feel you have a role to play. So why won’t you choose a side? How did you even reach this point with the ravens and a divine mark if you haven’t sworn fealty?”

“Because your master slipped up and gave me the goods before I had to pay for them.”

Geraki leaned across the table, face speculative. “You must be clever if you outwitted him. But you’re not in the clear, are you? He wouldn’t still be interested in you if you were. The ravens would have left. Instead, he’s biding his time…waiting for the inevitable. What is it? What line are you dancing on that’ll eventually bring you to his service?”

A woman among women.

“One I’m not going to cross.”

Geraki slumped back. “Why are you fighting it?”

“Because gods do terrible things to people.”

“And incredible things. You must know that. Haven’t the ravens taught you wonders?”

Justin thought back on the past four years. “You mean their constant nagging about my choices and personal life?”

I think you mean advice, not nagging, said Horatio.

“I mean the runes and spells and other knowledge key to your path.” At Justin’s silence, Geraki looked uncharacteristically dumbfounded. “How…what kind of deal did you make? Didn’t you promise to learn his ways?”

“Only if I swore myself to him.”

Seeing Geraki stumped was almost making this trip worthwhile. “Someone as egotistical as you isn’t interested in learning the secrets of one of the wisest, cleverest gods? If you had even a taste of his power, you’d want to follow him.”

“A god whose name I don’t know.”

“You have to learn that for yourself. It’s part of a wise man’s path.”

“Convenient. And I don’t suppose he’ll come talk to me himself?”

“I thought he already did.” Geraki looked legitimately surprised. “In a dream?”

“A dream doesn’t mean anything. I dreamed the other night that I went riding on a dinosaur.”

“He doesn’t just appear in the physical world at a man’s whim,” said Geraki, echoing what the ravens had once said. “To simply hear his voice alone, I have to fast and meditate and endure all sorts of torments.”

“Right. No alcohol. No sex.” Justin brought up the bill. “This is no different than any of the other religions I’ve looked at over the years. Maybe there really are gods in the world, maybe there’s one who thinks I’m his elect. But for beings that want worship, they sure do make things hard for their followers. Not much in the way of concrete answers or guidance. It’s just left for mortals to figure it all out.”

“Wise men don’t need concrete answers. By definition, they need wisdom, which you’re lacking in.” It was exactly the same kind of nonsensical commentary Justin had heard before, and he was surprised to find he was disappointed.

“Wise men thrive on concrete answers! I’m not going to learn from—let alone swear myself to—someone so nebulous. Someone whose face I haven’t seen. Someone whose name I don’t even know.”

Geraki looked exasperated. Justin might have broken him. “Really? He spoke to you in a dream, sent you the ravens, and put an extraordinary woman in your path. But that’s still not good enough? You need a face and a name before you’ll start learning his ways? That’s what it’ll take?”

“You bet,” said Justin, feeling triumphant at seeing Geraki squirm. “Think you can make it happen?”

“I have limits,” he admitted. “So does our god.”

“That’s exactly what I thought.” Justin swiped his ego and stood up in disgust.

“Wait.” Geraki had gotten control of himself again. “Maybe you can dodge everything else, but there’s one thing that’s unquestionable. Yielding the stars and flowers for the clever compromise. You promised, and even if you won’t follow him, I know you believe in him and his power. Breaking your word is a grave thing.”

Justin stilled. “If I do it, it’ll be going against something else he wants. It’s a contradiction.”

“The plans of a god aren’t for you to understand.”

“That’s the problem, isn’t it?” Justin turned away. “Your water’s on me. See you for your next inspection.”

But as he walked out of the restaurant, he knew what he had to do.