Gay Propaganda: Russian Love Stories

ALYONA & OLGA “The nurse looked around and realized that I was the father.”

Alyona and Olga decided to share their story in honor of their eighth anniversary. They met in Ekaterinburg, where they live to this day. Olga was 21 and Alyona was 23. Both of them were finishing school. Alyona is a quality-control engineer, and Olga was studying at the department of public relations. Today, they run a business together, an Internet toy store. Olga is also the head of the advertising department for a chain of fitness centers. Two years ago, they had a son.

ALYONA

We met online, on Lesbi.ru. This was before Vkontakte [popular Russian social networking site] or Odnoklassniki [same]. It didn’t have photos, but there were no other options for meeting back then. I asked Olga out a number of times, even inviting her to meet up with me and a third person, but she kept saying no.

OLGA

I was in a relationship at that time and it was falling apart. I had been with my girlfriend at the time for almost three years. Alyona and I literally only exchanged messages a couple of times. Then my relationship got very sad. I thought, “Should I write to that beautiful stranger?”

We decided to meet in front of a popular café. I was early. I went up to the café and saw a short butch girl. She was holding a cigarette in one hand and a bottle of beer in the other. I went up to her and she said, “Cool. Now we have to walk one of my friends to the train.” I was shocked, but agreed. When we were walking her friend to the train, I had these feverish thoughts trying to figure out how I would run away from this terrifying date. Then we decided to go back to the café.

ALYONA

I go up to the café and see two girls approaching. The butch one was a friend of mine, but the second one I’d never seen before. I understood immediately that it was Olga, whom I had come to meet.

OLGA

I remember exactly how Alyona’s eyes looked in that moment. And her smile. She looked at me and then at her. The girl with the beer also figured out that there had been a misunderstanding and burst out laughing. I sighed, relieved that I wouldn’t have to run away after all.

ALYONA

It turned out that that girl was also waiting to meet up with someone, but we didn’t get the details. We went to the café, sat for a little while, and then we went our separate ways.

OLGA

We started seeing each other practically every day under various pretexts. We traded films, books. Once, I asked Alyona to come to a café and we had a romantic moment. This was the first time we touched. I was wearing these warm, lined pants, and Alyona brushed my hip.

ALYONA

I had the exact same pants, but made from a different material. I wanted to feel the cloth. Although, of course, this was an excuse to touch her.

OLGA

A few weeks later, my girlfriend and I finally broke up. That day I called Alyona and invited her over. She came. Since then, we’ve lived together.

For three years we lived without fighting, but then Alyona fell in love with someone else. This was a major blow for me. I was so upset, I went blind in one eye. Apparently, I just didn’t want to see any of this.

ALYONA

I just fell in love and flew away. But that relationship didn’t last long. My feelings passed pretty quickly. I felt very guilty toward Olga.

OLGA

Alyona came to pick me up from work and we talked sitting in the car. I don’t remember the details of our reconciliation. That was five years ago.

A few years later, after I got a promotion at work, we started talking about having children. We decided that because she was older, Alyona should be the one to give birth. At the clinic, no one was particularly interested in the nature of our relationship. We went to the embryologist together. This wonderful lady came out with a day planner. She didn’t ask any questions or make us fill out any forms. She just looked at us and said, “It’d probably be good if the baby looked like both of you. I have a cute one! It’ll be perfect.” That autumn, we had our first attempt at artificial insemination from a sperm donor, and it was successful.

ALYONA

We didn’t consider the option of having a father because we didn’t want to have a person passing through our lives. Before I got pregnant, I was very anxious about the responsibility we were taking on. When I got pregnant, that went away. I knew that we were going to have a boy. I dreamed that I was touching my belly and feeling a boy in there. I watched him grow; he was a year old, and then in the last image, he was our grown son, a college student.

OLGA

I watched over the pregnancy. I kept diaries, photographed her belly. We went in for every ultrasound together. We decided that I should be present for the birth and so we went to childbirth classes at the Center for the Protection of Mothers and Infants. We were the only lesbian couple, but no one asked us questions. If it weren’t for Alyona’s belly, no one would have been able to tell which one of us was pregnant.

ALYONA

I wasn’t worried about the medical aspect at all because I knew that Olga was taking care of everything, so I was completely calm about it. My parents supported us a lot, too. My mother knit baby clothes.

OLGA

When it was time to have the baby, we took Alyona to the hospital. A doctor came into her room and asked me to step outside.

ALYONA

My water broke, and the doctor started panicking, screaming, “The hand’s fallen out!” I got very scared. It was very painful. Then it turned out that it was the umbilical cord. They immediately rushed me into the operating room.

OLGA

I heard all these screams. I was terrified. I saw how the doctors wheeled the cardiogram machine in and out of the room and knew that something was wrong. Then they took Alyona out of the room and she rolled past me. We were both crying.

ALYONA

I was very happy to see Olga. I was scared at first. I didn’t know where she had gone. I felt better that she knew where they were taking me.

OLGA

I sat down by the doors of the operating room. Ten minutes later, I heard the newborn scream. When I came in, he was lying on a little table and the nurse was cleaning him. I took out my phone and started making a video. She swaddled him and gave him to me to hold. For five minutes, everyone had gone and I was alone with him. I will never forget that. I remember his eyes, the way he was crying. I was kissing him, telling him how long we’ve been waiting for him and how much we love him.

Then they took him away and I had to leave. I left Alyona the telephone with the video and a message that she should watch it when she came to. I left the hospital in total shock; I didn’t know what to do or where to go. I called Alyona’s mother and then just wandered around the city.

ALYONA

I woke up a few hours later. At first, I didn’t understand what was going on, but then the doctors told me that the baby was fine and gave me my phone. I watched the video like five hundred times. We named our son Georgy. Gosha, for short.

OLGA

Alyona and Gosha were transferred to a different unit on the first floor. For the next several days, I would go up to the window and Alyona would show him to me through the glass. On the sixth day, they were finally discharged. I came to pick them up with presents and cakes for all the doctors. The nurse came out, looked around, and realized that I was the father and gave me the baby. We got in the car and went home.

ALYONA

We’ve never encountered any homophobia. We run our business out of our home. A lot of people come over and they see that we share a bed. Everyone knows everything. At preschool, the teachers get it, too.

OLGA

Everyone at my work knows about my life. It’s harder with my parents. They’re divorced. I don’t talk to my mother very often. Gosha was two years old before she ever saw him. I didn’t talk to my father for almost ten years until he found out that I was living with a woman and that we have a son. For him, this came as a major shock because he is very conservative. But he was eager to be part of our lives and support us. Since then, we’ve been seeing each other.

ALYONA

We’re thinking about having a second child. This time, Olga will be the one who gets pregnant. But I’m very worried again. Our apartment is too small for four people. We’ll have to figure something out before we have the baby. Take out a mortgage.

OLGA

We’ve already had two insemination attempts. So far it’s been unsuccessful. But I decided ahead of time that we’re not going to take any breaks. We’re determined to move forward and have three kids. We are optimistic and believe that everything will turn out OK.