Getting Lucky

Chapter 26

LILY REFUSED TO CRY ANY MORE. SHE'D SHED enough tears in the past however-many hours to keep a small armada afloat, so she set her teeth and kept her eyes resolutely torrent-free as she threw her belongings into the boxes she'd dragged from the garage into her bedroom at Glynnis's Laguna Beach house. Two of the cartons were already heaped to overflowing with shoes— when on earth had she accumulated all this footwear? She'd swear she hadn't owned this much when she moved in.

Like it's important, Lily. She gave herself an impatient shake. The only thing that mattered right now was to be long gone by the time Zach returned from Orcas Island. To that end, she was making steady inroads on the packing, and she'd made arrangements with Mimi to crash on her friend's couch for a few days until she could find a place of her own.

She had a couple of restaurants on her string that were usually more than willing to take her on as a fill-in chef, and the minute she got settled at her friend's apart-ment she intended to start making calls to them to see if she could pick up some work. Certainly sitting around for the rest of the time the Argosy was at dock was no longer an option. She'd go crazy if she had nothing to do but think.

Because, sure as sugar, her thoughts would head straight back to Zach. To how he saw her as someone he had to "do right" by. Or worse, to how he probably lumped her into the same category as Miguel—just one more person looking to screw up his life. She had never felt for another man even a fraction of the emotions she felt for Zachariah Taylor… and to him she was nothing but a burden.

Her teeth clenched tighter. She would not cry again, darn it!

She was straightening with an empty box in her hand when something sailed past her and landed on the bed. While she stared blankly at the lavender ruffle-edged tulip lying on the comforter, a variegated purple and white one landed next to it. She whirled around.

And her heart did the impossible, taking flight even as it sank to her toes. Oh, gawd . Zach stood in the doorway, one large shoulder propped against the doorjamb. In his left hand were more tulips.

"Let's get a few things straight right up front," he said, plucking another flower from the bunch and tossing it at her feet. "No man with a drop of red blood in his veins would ever consider you a charity case. That's number one." He appeared to consider, then shook his head as a deep purple tulip drifted to settle on the floor next to her toes. "No. That's number two. One is that I love you."

"You—"

"Love you," he repeated in that deep voice that always vibrated right down to the heart of her. He lobbed another flower. "I choked trying to get out the word last night, and then I acted like an ass when you didn't read my mind and immediately fall into my arms." More flowers rained softly around her. "But I love you, Lily. I love you like I have never loved anything or anybody in my life."

She knew she must be gaping like an idiot, but she couldn't seem to wrap her mind around the words coming from his mouth. Something deep inside of her obviously recognized them, however, for a warm glow, a brilliant light, began to unfurl in her breast.

He pushed away from the doorframe. "You were right when you accused me of being afraid." Stopping in front of her, he traced a blossom down her cheekbone and along her jawline. "I don't care to think of myself as a man who's afraid of much, but I was scared to death that if I trusted in your feelings for me, eventually you'd change your mind and… take them back."

Never. Before the denial could travel from her brain to her vocal cords, however, he dropped to his knees in front of her, shocking her into silence.

"You think I can't beg? Think again, sweetheart, because I would do anything, say anything, if that meant you'd give me another chance. So, God, Lily, plea —"

"Don't!" The dawning warmth and light exploded in pyrotechnics of joy so absolute she was amazed she didn't go up in flames. But even as they shot throughout her system to the farthermost tips of her fingers and toes, she realized that the last thing she wanted was to see this proud man humbled. "Zach, don't."

Clearly misunderstanding, his face twisted. "Dammit, Lily, you have to give me a second chance. I love you."

"Then that's all I need." When she couldn't tug him to his feet, she gave a strangled laugh and dropped to her own knees and plastered herself against him, wrapping her arms around his waist to hold him tight. It felt like coming home to be next to all that heat and scent and strength once again, and she stared up into his face. "I never wanted you to beg. All I wanted was for you to love me the way I love you. The way I'll always love you for as long as I've got breath in my lungs. That's not something I will ever take back."

"Ah, God." The thin scar bisecting his upper lip lost its whiteness, and bending, he pressed the most reverent kiss she'd ever received upon her lips. When he lifted his head, his pale gray irises had darkened. "I don't deserve you."

"And don't think I won't remind you of that every chance I get," she said dryly, resting her chin on his chest and gazing up at him. Suddenly her hand flew to her hair. "Ohmigawd! I look awful."

He grinned crookedly. "Honey, you couldn't look awful if you tried."

But she'd seen herself in the mirror earlier. At the time she simply hadn't cared that her eyes were all bloodshot and her skin was ashy. She wasn't wearing her usual makeup to help disguise it, either, since what she'd applied yesterday had worn off ages ago, and she been too heartsick to bother replacing it. "I haven't been to sleep since I left," she admitted, then narrowed her lashes. "Which reminds me. How the heck did you manage to get here so fast? I just barely made the last boat off the island."

"I chartered a plane this morning."

"Well, aren't you Mr. Posh. I spent all night traveling, going from island to island to mainland, where I rented a car for the drive to Seattle. I got to the airport about two-thirty in the morning, and all I can say is thank goodness the air-traffic controllers' strike was settled, because frankly I'd forgotten all about it until I was almost there. But that turned out to be the last bit of luck I had going for me. I waited hours to get a flight home, then had to rent another car when I got to LAX—and the freeways, of course, were in their usual state of gridlock. But, gee." She smacked his chest with the flat of her hand. "How nice that you got to have a good night's sleep before tootling down here in a private plane."

When he bent his head to kiss her this time, there was nothing reverent about it. It was all fierce heat, and she dug her nails into the hard muscles of his chest to anchor herself. She was straining toward him in an attempt to meld their bodies by the time he lifted his head again.

"You think I just took the news of your leaving in stride, jumped in the sack, and slept like a baby?" A rude laugh exploded out of his throat. "Not only did I not sleep worth a damn, sweetheart, my head never even so much as touched a pillow! That frigging little airport in Eastsound was shut down by the time I called last night, and I spent every minute until it opened up again pacing my room, worrying that you'd be gone by the time I got here." His remembered frustration seemed to segue into something much more immediate as his fingers gently traced her puffy eyelids. "Dammit, your eyes aren't swollen just because you've been up all night. You've been crying ." Regret filled his eyes. "I could cut my heart out."

"Oh, yeah. That'd do me a lot of good." "But what if this isn't the last time I make you cry?" Worry etched his eyes. "Jesus, Lily, I know zip about this relationship stuff. I'm sure to fuck it up."

"No doubt you will." She cupped his face in her hands, appreciating the scratchy texture of his beard beneath her palms. "But so will I, Zach. I think that's probably the nature of the beast when you've got two people as different as you and I trying to make a go of it together."

"Great. So you're telling me we're pretty much doomed?"

"Heck, no. I'd bet all my restaurant money, in fact, that we'll get it right more often than we'll mess it up. And that's not even factoring in how stubborn both of us are."

He raised his eyebrows. "And this you see as a plus?"

"Well, if you define stubbornness as pretty much refusing to be swayed from a purpose, don't you think that ought to work in our favor when it comes to our relationship?"

"Yes." His smile dawned white, and his muscles visibly relaxed. "Yes, I do. And I suppose there's even something to be said for the occasional fight." His hands smoothed their way down to her hips. "I bet making up can be a whole lot of fun." He tipped his head. "So what do we do now? Do we get married?"

"Oh. Well. Marriage." Her heart gave a huge lurch and silently screamed Want it! Want it ! "I don't know. There's still so much we haven't talked about. Like what happened last night with Miguel. And what you wanna do with your last two years in the service. Or the fact that if we marry, there goes my sweaty stableboy fantasy."

"Hey, I can be a sweaty stableboy." He spread his thighs to align the fly of his jeans with hers and rocked an impressive erection against the soft notch he'd opened up for himself between her legs. "Would madam care to ride the stallion this morning?"

Oh. Yes. Absolutely. Before she could slide her hands around to his muscular rear to clamp him in place, however, he eased back and scooped her up in his arms. She clutched at his shoulders as he rose to his feet and carried her over to the bed, where he flopped down with her on his lap.

"Before we play horsey, let's get the rest of this out of the way." He gently rearranged a few strands of her hair. "Miguel was collected by the MPs this morning to be transported back to Pendleton. It's out of my hands—men with more stars on their epaulets than I'll ever possess are in charge of deciding his fate now." He related the highlights of his conversation with the young man the previous evening. "As far as I'm concerned he was damn fortunate not to be turned over to the INS."

"I wonder if he's mature enough to appreciate his luck?"

"I doubt it, but that's not our problem. We've got considerations of our own to hash out." Zach tugged on her leg until she swung it around to sit astride him. He gazed at her, perched on his lap looking a bit pale and less pulled-together than he'd ever seen her, yet so pretty in his eyes that it made him ache. Love for her swelled in his chest. "Listen, I thought about this quite a bit on the way down here this morning. And I decided if you'd have me, I'd do what you suggested last night and see about teaching field work."

"Is that what you want to do?"

He hesitated, then nodded. "Um, yeah. Sure."

" Zach ." It was her schoolmarm tone, and he knew better than to ignore it.

But he shrugged. "I don't know what I want, okay? That's been the problem—I'm a thirty-six-year-old who suddenly has to figure what he wants to be when he grows up."

"So take your time and figure it out. If you think the instructor thing would work for you, fine. But don't do it for me. Our relationship isn't contingent on you quitting reconnaissance."

"It can keep me away from home for long periods of time, Lily."

"And I'd miss you like crazy if that were the case. But I don't plan to give up my job, and it takes me away from home for a week or two at a time too." She kneaded his shoulders. "I guess what I'm trying to say is: if doing your thing in far off places is what makes you happy, then that's what you oughtta be doing."

"God, I love you."

She grinned at him, then wiggled her butt experimentally. His always-willing-to-be-aroused dick rose to the occasion, but he tried to ignore the messages it sent for a moment. "The truth is, honey chile, doing my thing in far-off places has been losing its allure for a while now. I just haven't figured out yet what I want to replace it with. But whatever that turns out to be could very well mean having to pick up stakes and move across the country. Your restaurant—"

"Can wait. I meant what I said last night, Zach. Two years just isn't that long in the general scheme of things. It simply means I'll have that much more time to save my money, which means I'll have a better cushion for when I start up my place."

"Sweetheart, if you want a cushion, I've got a boatload of mon—" He broke off when he saw her expression. "Uh-oh," he said, giving the thigh that had gone rigid beneath his hand a squeeze. "I know that look. That's the look that makes me feel as if I've pissed in the middle of your tea party. I guess it'll be a pretty chilly day in hell before you accept my financial help, huh?"

The starch left her spine. "It's not that I'm adverse to helping you spend your money," she assured him earnestly. "Heck, if it'll make you happy, you can pay all the household bills—keep me in style. You can even support my shoe habit if you want. But, Zach, the restaurant has been my dream for as long as I can remember—and I have to succeed or fail at it on my own." Her delicate eyebrows drew together. "Does that make me the worst kind of hypocrite?"

"No, ma'am. That makes you a woman of character."

"Oh, my." She rested her head on his shoulder. "I think I may just have to marry you after all."

Every corpuscle in his body screamed yes ! but he managed to keep his voice light when he said, "So, what convinced you? I bet it was my willingness to play sta-bleboy, wasn't it?"

"Well, I have seen the stallion you're bringing to the bargaining table," she agreed, and wiggled upon the object under discussion. But when she framed his face in her hands and looked into his eyes, her own were no longer teasing. "Mostly, though, it's because I have never met another person with as much love to give as you have. I've seen what it's like to be the object of your affections, Zachariah, the lengths you'll go to for those you love. And I can't think of a greater privilege than to be your wife."

"Jesus, Lily," he said hoarsely. No one had ever made him feel the way she did. He never dreamed his heart could swell to such proportions that it downright amazed him the two of them didn't float right up to the ceiling. "I love you so freaking much. And I promise you this: I'll make you happy. I'm gonna make you so damn happy—and while I'm at it, I promise to give you one hell of a ride, too."

"I don't doubt that for a minute. And I've gotta confess: your offer to play stableboy was a consideration. Speaking of which—" She subtly rocked upon his lap. "Isn't it about time to bring out the stallion?"

"Oh, absolutely," he said with a tug of his forelock, and laughing, he rolled her onto the bed. "As madam wishes."