18 Portal

“YOU should go back,” I said to Tucker as we trudged through the dingy tunnels. “This was my idea. I shouldn’t drag you into it. Tell Jake I ditched you and you lost sight of me. Asia will back you up.”

Even as I spoke the words I knew it was too late for Tuck to turn back. If he returned to Hotel Ambrosia without me, Jake would unleash his fury on him.

He must have known that too, but all he said was “You’re not goin’ out there alone.”

“I won’t let Jake hurt you,” I told him. “No matter what happens.”

“Let’s not think about that now.”

Tucker set off ahead of me at a swift pace. I had no choice but to follow.

We didn’t have to go much farther than the club district before the terrain started to change dramatically. The air became suddenly sultry and the landscape barren as a desert. It seemed as if all color and life had been sucked away, leaving nothing but an empty gray husk. Fog swirled overhead, blotting out whatever it was that passed for sky down here. We had left the confining tunnels behind, but we were still trapped in a strange dimension that had no beginning or end. The worst part was the ever-present sound; all around us the air was filled with the muffled wailing of lost and wandering souls. I could feel their presence as they moved past us, like a ripple of heat in the already-stifling atmosphere. I couldn’t see them, they were nothing more than a passing shimmer in the air, but I knew they were there and nothing could drown out their preternatural cries. A horrible, suffocating sense of desolation washed over me, as if my soul were being tugged from my body. My heart beat faster and I felt an overwhelming urge to stop. In response Tucker took hold of my hand and picked up his pace.

“I’m tired, Tuck,” I heard myself say.

“Don’t slow down,” he whispered. “This place has that effect on people. We have to keep moving.”

The Wasteland didn’t seem to affect Tucker in the same way. Maybe it was because his time in Hades had lent him immunity. Or maybe it was because I was an angel and could sense the acute despair of every soul around me.

“If we linger too long the Trackers have a much better chance of picking up your scent,” Tucker added.

I’d forgotten all about them. I knew as an angel I gave off the crisp, clean scent of rain that might be camouflaged in the smoky atmosphere of the clubs but would be unmistakable out here in the open.

“Are you going to tell me who the Trackers are?” I was still having problems regulating my breathing. Tuck took one look at my face and shook his head.

“Not right now.”

“Come on,” I urged. Tucker seemed to have assumed a protective role since leaving the hotel that he wasn’t about to relinquish without a fight. “I’ll be better off if I know.”

Tuck sighed. “Trackers hunt down souls that have wandered off into the Wasteland.” He kept his explanation succinct as if there was already too much to focus on without the added effort of conversation.

“Do the souls end up back in the clubs?” I asked naïvely.

“Not exactly.”

“They’re thrown into the pit, aren’t they?” I said. “It’s okay, Tucker. I’ve seen it.” I was on the verge of elaborating, telling him to stop trying to spare me from the harsh realities when Tucker stepped lightly in front of me and clamped his hand over my mouth.

“Do you hear that?” he asked.

“Hear what?”

“Listen.”

We stood in silence for a moment until I too heard the sound that had made Tucker stop short. It was a voice, breathy and high-pitched, like it belonged to a young girl. It was calling my name. “Bethany!” the voice wailed. “Bethany, it’s me.” The childlike voice drew closer.

I waited with baited breath as a gust of hot wind swirled around me. Tuck’s hand dropped to his side.

“Who are you?” I asked shakily. I felt a presence in the wind, caressing me with long tapering fingers.

“Don’t you remember me?” The voice sounded forlorn and yet there was something oddly familiar about it.

“We can’t see you,” Tuck said boldly. “Come out of the shadows.”

“It’s okay,” I encouraged. “We won’t hurt you. We’re on your side.”

I watched openmouthed as the figure of a girl emerged out of the swirling fog and began to take shape before me. At first she was just an outline, like an artist’s rudimentary sketch that hadn’t been properly filled out, but as she came into focus and I looked more closely, I knew exactly who she was. The powdery blond hair, the pert upturned nose, the pouting lips were all achingly familiar. Her hair was matted and her cheeks hollow, but there was no mistaking her. Her blue eyes were still luminous, their brightness a sharp contrast against the grime smudged across her face. She stared at me with such despair that I felt all of her sadness seep into me and thought my heart would break.

“Taylah,” I whispered. “Is that you? What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” She smiled absently. Taylah was dressed, much as she had been in life, in a fitted top and tight denim shorts. She was barefoot and through the dust I could still make out chipped nail polish.

“Were you kidnapped too?” I asked. “Did Jake bring you here?”

Taylah shook her head. “I was judged, Beth,” she said softly. “And my soul was sent here.”

“But how?” I said in a hoarse whisper. I was having trouble grappling with what she was trying to tell me.

“After I died on the floor of the girls’ bathroom, I heard voices all around me. They were weighing up my sins, calculating my good deeds. And then I was falling.”

I wanted to ask what had happened in her past to land her in this place, but I couldn’t get the words out. It would have been tactless in the extreme. But I knew it had to be some kind of mistake. Taylah was just a girl. She could be shallow, catty, and competitive sometimes, but those weren’t exactly heinous crimes. She was capable of being cruel to those who didn’t inhabit her glittering world of tanning and Pilates, but I’d also seen her capable of kindness. I couldn’t imagine her doing anything seriously immoral.

“I know what you’re thinking,” she said, looking shamefaced. “You’re wondering what I did to end up here.”

“You don’t have to say anything, Tay.”

“No, it’s okay,” she said. “I’m here because I was never taught to believe in anything. I didn’t understand what was important in life.” She hesitated, her blue eyes glazing over. “I only cared about having fun; I never cared about anything real. I sinned and never thought twice about it.”

I looked at her expectantly but it took some minutes before she mustered the courage to speak again. “I did something terrible. Well, I didn’t exactly do it, but I did stand by and let it happen.”

“Let what happen?” I asked.

“A couple of years ago there was a hit and run in Venus Cove and little Tommy Fincher was killed. He was out playing catch in the street. It was all over the papers but they never found the driver. Tommy was only ten years old. His parents never really got over it.”

“What’s all this got to do with you?”

“I was there when it happened.”

“What? Why didn’t you report it?” I was confused.

“Because the driver was my boyfriend at the time. He was drunk and I should never have let him behind the wheel ….” she trailed off helplessly.

“You covered for him? Why?”

“He was a senior and I was fifteen. He told me he loved me. All the girls in my year were jealous. I was so obsessed with him I couldn’t tell right from wrong.”

I didn’t know what to say to her. The sin of omission was a serious offense. There were some who believed a bystander who allowed an injustice to take place was as guilty as the perpetrator himself. Taylah’s only defense was her youth and inexperience. Evidently it hadn’t been enough to exonerate her.

“What happened with the guy?”

“Toby and I broke up a few months later when his family moved to Arkansas.”

“Why didn’t you speak up then?”

“I thought about it but I lost my nerve. It wasn’t gonna bring the kid back anyway. I was worried about my reputation and what people would say about me.”

“Oh, Taylah,” I said. “I wish you’d had someone to help you through it. You must have felt so alone.”

She seemed so different from the girl I’d known. The old Taylah had been too busy fussing over her hair to worry about questions of right and wrong. I guess she’d found enlightenment now, only it was too late.

“You know how I knew I was in Hell, or Hades, as his royal asshole likes to call it?” she continued. “It wasn’t because of the flames or even the torture. I knew where I was because of the total absence of love. You can’t stay here, Beth. This place is only about hate. You end up hating everyone but mostly you hate yourself. It’ll eat you up.”

“Aren’t you scared to be out here alone?” Tucker asked.

“I guess so.” Taylah shrugged. “But I had to cut and run. I couldn’t stand the clubs anymore … being mauled by the demons like a piece of meat.”

Her words served as a reminder to Tucker, who looked around nervously.

“We need to keep going.”

“Walk with us,” I said to Taylah, reluctant to part with her again so soon.

We crept on through the barren Wasteland, Taylah trailing beside us, occasionally disappearing and then reemerging from behind the blanket of fog.

As we walked a passage from the Bible floated back to me:


And there came out of the smoke locusts upon the earth … and it was commanded that they should not hurt the grass of the earth, neither any green thing, neither any tree; but only those men which have not the seal of God on their foreheads.


How swift was God’s wrath. Youth and lack of understanding did not preclude one from judgment. Suddenly my purpose on earth had never seemed clearer.

“So you’re an angel, huh?” Taylah said. “Should have guessed from all that clean livin’.”

“How did you know?” I asked.

“I didn’t when I was alive. But I can sense your presence now. And besides, your glow kinda gives you away.”

“You don’t seem surprised.”

“Nothing surprises me anymore.”

I didn’t know what else to say so I changed the subject. “Molly misses you,” I said and Taylah smiled miserably.

“How’s she doing? I miss her too.”

“She’s fine,” I said. “Was that really you on the night of Halloween?”

“Yeah.” Taylah nodded. “I was trying to warn you. Didn’t do much good, though. Here you are.”

“You knew what was going to happen?” I asked.

“Not exactly, but I knew the séance was stirring up something bad,” she said. “Abby’s an idiot; she had no idea what she was messing with.”

“Don’t be too hard on her; she was sorry once she realized. How did you know to come?”

“I heard on the grapevine that a portal had opened up in Venus Cove. I knew that could only mean trouble so I tried to warn you. Guess I messed that up too.”

“No, you didn’t,” I said firmly. “You tried.”

“You’d think an angel would know better than to mess with that stuff,” Taylah scolded, sounding a little more like her old self.

“You’re right. I should have tried harder.”

“Oh, don’t get all sentimental,” Taylah said. “You know, you’re kind of a legend down here. We’ve all heard the story of how you broke Jake’s heart and your brother banished him underground. He’s been waiting ever since for a chance to get you back.”

“Does anyone know how the story ends?” I asked croakily.

“Nope,” Taylah said. “That’s what we’re all waiting to find out. I really hope you get back to Xavier.”

“Me too,” I said.

The expanse of cracked earth before us seemed endless. Only the occasional boulder or solitary cactus plant broke it.

“There’s nothin’ here,” said Tucker, defeated. “I reckon we should head back.”

“We can’t,” I protested. “Asher said there’s a portal out here. We need to keep looking.”

“We don’t have to find it today. It’s only one battle we’ve lost, not the whole war.”

“Don’t be a pussy,” Taylah told him, with her usual candor. “I want you guys to bust out of here.”

“When will I get another chance?” I said in a plaintive voice.

“I don’t know.” Tucker looked apologetic. “But we’ve been gone too long now, and we’re skatin’ on thin ice.”

The taste of failure was bitter. We’d come so close and ended up getting nowhere. We’d risked everything and achieved nothing. It was only out of concern for Tucker that I was persuaded to turn back. Jake might be angry with me, but the worst he would do was reinforce security so that I’d never set foot outside the penthouse again. Tucker was a different story. Jake kept him around for his own perverse amusement, but I knew he saw him as expendable. We’d already turned to go back when I became aware that something in the air had changed.

“Wait!” I cried, throwing a hand out to clutch Tucker’s sleeve.

“What now?” he said. He was growing increasingly uneasy. Perhaps in his mind he’d concluded that we’d been led on a wild goose chase.

“Something feels different.” I turned in a slow circle. “Actually, something smells different.” This time I had his attention.

“Describe it,” he said.

“I think it’s salt,” I said, suspending thought and allowing my senses to take charge. I knew that smell. It was as familiar to me as my own skin. It was the briny distinctive scent of the ocean and it washed over me like an old friend welcoming me home.

“The portal must be close,” I said, detaching from them to scramble feverishly forward. “I think … I think I can smell the sea!”

I heard a sharp intake of breath behind me and wasn’t sure whether it had come from Tucker or Taylah or both.

“Up ahead!” Tucker’s voice was charged. “That’s gotta be it. I can’t believe you’ve found it!”

I whirled around to see a mess of tumbleweed drifting back and forth across the dusty red earth, only meters from where we stood. It looked twisted and knotted from its endless journey of being tossed around by the wind across the Wasteland, but there was no mistaking what it was.

I ran forward, half expecting it to dart elusively out of reach, but I was able to grasp it in my hand. It felt coarse and dry beneath my fingers but gave off a compelling energy. I was drawn to it like a magnetic force. Its unobtrusiveness made it the perfect cover for a portal. It was big enough for me to be able to crawl through and on the other side, I was just able to make out a yellow finger of sunlight spilling across white sand.

Tucker and Taylah were beside me in a flash, watching intently. Tuck’s face was flushed with anticipation and Taylah’s soul practically vibrated with excitement. I reached my arm tentatively through the center of the tumbleweed and felt its dry twigs scratch my arm. At its core the consistency was like dough, malleable but tough to push through. It only allowed access up to a certain point before my arm met with resistance.

“It won’t let me get any farther,” I complained.

I began to wriggle my arm more determinedly through the opening. I had forced myself into the scrubby tunnel up to my shoulder when I felt a gentle suction tugging on my hand. Panic seized me. What if it was all an illusion? What if the tumbleweed was an elaborate joke being played at our expense? It seemed a pretty far-fetched idea but what if Asia and Asher had been having us on for their own amusement? They were demons, after all. Trapping souls was what they did. What if I came out at the other end of the tumbleweed not in my Georgia hometown but in an even darker recess of Hell? Then I would be completely alone, not even Tucker would be able to find me. I made myself snap out of it. I remembered what it felt like melding with Xavier in my spirit form. How whole and safe I’d felt. The memory of it made me strong. Xavier wouldn’t want me bailing on him when I’d come this far. How proud would he be if I actually succeeded in getting out? If I made it through, Xavier would get to see me in the flesh, not as just a vibration in the air. The thought was too tantalizing. I was counting down the seconds in my head before I would feel my feet touch the silky sand.

“Here. Let me try,” I heard Taylah exclaim impatiently. I watched as she effortlessly darted above me, a wispy substance floating through the tumbleweed until she was calling out to us from the other side.

“How’d she do that?” I exclaimed, withdrawing my arm and peering through to see her hazy face at the other end. Taylah gave me the thumbs-up before checking out her new surroundings.

“Of course.” Tuck slapped his forehead. “A soul can easily slip out!”

“I know this place!” cried Taylah, her voice quavering with excitement. “Beth, you won’t believe where I am!” She was crying now. I saw tears of happiness streaming down her face.

“You’re in Venus Cove, aren’t you?” I guessed immediately.

“At the Crags?”

“Yes, Beth,” Taylah whispered. “I’m home.”

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