Hawkwing’s Journey

Chapter 26

Hawkwing lay on the cold ground in the shelter of a gorse bush.

Three sunrises had passed since the monster had carried Pebbleshine away, and the cats of SkyClan remained in their camp on the hillside above the Twolegplace, hoping that she would find her way back to them.

But Hawkwing’s hope was dwindling. He felt as though a heavy weight was crushing his ribs, pressing him into the earth.

Hearing movement close by, he blinked his eyes open and saw his sister Blossomheart leaning over him.

“Look, Hawkwing,” she mewed. “I brought you this shrew.”

She patted the small creature toward him.

Hawkwing gave the prey a perfunctory sniff, then closed his eyes again. His belly churned; he had no appetite at all.

“Hawkwing!” Blossomheart pleaded. “You haven’t eaten for days. You can’t go on like this. Please…”

Hawkwing ignored her, and after a couple of heartbeats he heard her paw steps receding. He didn’t want to eat, or talk, or do anything except lie here and grieve for Pebbleshine. He hadn’t thought it possible to feel such pain and still go on living, as if a cat’s claws were snagged in his heart and he would never get free of them.

The whole Clan was grieving too, ever since the terrible day when Hawkwing had limped back with the hunting patrol and told them how the monster had carried Pebbleshine away.

But she’ll find her way back, Hawkwing had at first told himself. I’m sure of it. She’s clever and brave… she’ll come back.

Won’t she?

But it had always been a struggle for Hawkwing to convince himself of that, and as the days slipped by it became harder still.

There were so many dangers out there for a cat on her own.

Twolegs, dogs, monsters…

She has to come back, Hawkwing insisted to himself. Our kits have to be born. I have to be a father to them.

Ever since Pebbleshine had told him her news, Hawkwing had pictured the kits in his mind, and thought about the things he would teach them. I’d show them the hunter’s crouch, and how to stay downwind of prey, and I’d tell them the noble history of their Clan…

Hawkwing’s body contorted in a sudden spasm of rage. This is all Darktail’s fault! If the rogue tom hadn’t turned on the Clan that had taken him in, Hawkwing knew, none of this would have happened. Pebbleshine would still be safely in the gorge, waiting in the nursery for their kits to be born. And I was the cat who made friends with Darktail! The claw in his heart sank deeper still. I spoke up for him, even against my own father…

Sighing, Hawkwing pressed his face into the cold grass. He was too grief-stricken even to sustain his anger for more than a few heartbeats.

A little while later, Hawkwing heard cats approaching him again.

“Hawkwing.” It was his Clan leader’s voice.

Hawkwing opened his eyes to see Leafstar and Echosong sitting beside him. Wearily he waited to find out what they wanted.

“We’ve stayed here for several days,” Leafstar began, her voice gentle and compassionate.

Hawkwing understood at once what his Clan leader was about to say. No! he yowled inwardly, digging his claws into the ground. I won’t leave until Pebbleshine comes back!

“If Pebbleshine had been able to escape from the monster anywhere nearby,” Leafstar continued, “she would have come back to us by now. It’s time for us to move on.”

“No!” Hawkwing protested aloud this time, half sitting up.

“We can’t leave her. I won’t leave her!”

“This is my decision.” The Clan leader’s tone was firm, though sympathy glowed in her amber eyes. “We’re too exposed here, too near Twolegs, and the hunting is poor. We can’t stay any longer.”

“Pebbleshine is strong and smart,” Echosong added. “She knows which direction we’re headed, and what we’re looking for.

She’ll try to find us.”

Hawkwing knew that the medicine cat was right, but that didn’t ease the hard knot of grief in his belly, or shake his conviction that he needed to stay near the place he had last seen his mate.

“I don’t believe this is the end of Pebbleshine’s story,” Echosong continued. “You won’t lose her forever.”

Hope struck through Hawkwing like the sun shining through storm clouds. “Have you had a vision?” he asked eagerly.

The medicine cat shook her head, and Hawkwing sank back, crushed.

“No, StarClan hasn’t told me anything,” Echosong mewed sadly. “It’s just what I believe.”

A few tail-lengths away, the other cats were rising to their paws, casting doubtful glances at Hawkwing. Curlypaw padded nervously up to him, carrying a mouse in her jaws.

“I caught this for you myself,” she told Hawkwing, dropping her prey at his paws.

“Thanks, Curlypaw.” Hawkwing pushed the mouse away.

“But you should eat it. I won’t be traveling with you. I’m going to wait here for Pebbleshine, in case she comes back.”

Leafstar fixed her amber gaze on Hawkwing, deep concern in her eyes. “Hawkwing, you have to come with us,” she meowed.

“Please. SkyClan needs you.”

“You don’t,” Hawkwing argued. “I’m just one cat. When Pebbleshine comes back, we’ll both catch up to you.”

“No, we need you now,” Echosong agreed with the Clan leader.

“Do you remember how you and Pebbleshine drove off the raccoon when it attacked me and the kits after the gorge battle?

And how you saved us when you killed Dodge in the Twolegplace.

What would we have done without you then?”

Leafstar nodded. “You’ve always been so loyal and strong—

both of you.”

Curlypaw ventured closer to Hawkwing, leaning into his shoulder so that he felt the warmth of her long-furred pelt. “You’re such a great mentor, Hawkwing,” she mewed. “I can’t imagine learning so much from any other cat. I need you.”

Hawkwing dipped his head. My duty is to my Clan now. Wasn’t that what he’d decided when they left the gorge? And he could see that Leafstar had a point: The Clan did need him. Something inside

Hawkwing wanted to give way, but he didn’t know how he could force his paws to carry him away from the last place he and Pebbleshine had been together.

“We don’t even know we’re heading in the right direction,” he pointed out. “What if we’re not? What if I leave with you, and miss Pebbleshine, only to end up wandering for moons?”

“Our faith is being tested,” Echosong admitted with a sigh, “but we must believe StarClan wouldn’t lead us astray. There are so few of us now that our only chance of surviving is to stick together.”

“Pebbleshine would want you to stay with us,” Leafstar pointed out.

Hawkwing realized that his medicine cat and his Clan leader were right. Pebbleshine has always been loyal to SkyClan. She never even considered leaving it to stay on our old territory. She understood that the Clan is more important than one cat. Looking into Leafstar’s eyes, he saw that she truly believed his mate wasn’t coming back. At least, she won’t be coming back here.

He wondered if he could bear to give up hope. Realistically, he knew, it was unlikely—perhaps one chance in a whole field of chances. Is that tiny chance worth the cost to the Clan?

No, he accepted at last. It isn’t.

Heaving a huge sigh, Hawkwing bent his head to sniff

Curlypaw’s mouse. Although the very thought of food made him sick, he forced himself to eat. He knew that he would need his strength for the long journey that lay ahead. Leafstar, Echosong, and Curlypaw all nodded encouragingly.

“You’re making the right decision, Hawkwing,” Leafstar said solemnly. “I’m grateful. The whole Clan is grateful.”

Maybe my Clanmates are right, he thought. We still need to find the spark that remains, and make our new lives with the rest of the Clans. Pebbleshine and our kits will find SkyClan again one day.

We will all be together again in the new territory beside the water, the home that Echosong dreamed of.

But as he swallowed the last of his prey and joined his Clanmates to set out again, Hawkwing still felt as if he was leaving Pebbleshine behind. What chance will she have of finding us now? he wondered.

Padding along at the rear of the Clan, his head down, Hawkwing tried to shake off the thought. But it clung in his mind like a burr in his pelt.

Will I ever see Pebbleshine again?