He Loves Lucy

Chapter 8

July

Office of Doris Lehman, MSW, PhD “But how did you know it was love?”

Doris shifted in the modern leather and chrome chair and crossed, then recrossed her legs before she answered. “How I came to love Mr. Lehman has very little to do with how you might experience love with Theo.”

Lucy sighed and kicked off her new strappy little mules. She now wore an entire shoe size smaller than last November, and she’d just gotten her toenails painted a bright pink, her first pedicure since the Clinton administration. “So you’re not going to tell me?”

“The real question is one that only you can answer, Lucy.” Doris smiled kindly. “So. Are you in love with Theo?”

“Oh God! I’m completely, utterly, nutso in love with that man! But how do I let go of the rope? How do I loosen my grip and fall into the water if I can’t even see what’s down in there? Piranhas? Sharp rocks? Toxie waste? I don’t even know how deep the water is! I could snap my neck like a twig!”

Doris raised an eyebrow. “That was quite a metaphor.”

Lucy glared at the kimono kittens on the paper screen and swore she heard them tittering and snickering at her outburst. She was really starting to hate those little trollops.

“Actually, Doris, I was hoping this is where you tell me what the hell I’m supposed to do with my life!”

Lucy could hardly believe it, but Doris got up out of the therapist’s chair, walked over to the love seat, sat down right next to her, and hugged her tight.

It felt nice. It felt safe. And Doris smelled like she’d just strolled out of the Hermes boutique in Bal Harbor.

“Everything’s going to be all right.”

Lucy shook her head vehemently and wailed, “He keeps asking me to tell him what happened to me ten years ago!”

“Here, sweetheart.” Doris shoved a tissue into Lucy’s cupped hands, and Lucy realized that lately people seemed to be forever fetching paper goods in her company. She blew her nose and straightened up a little.

“I’d rather die than tell Theo Redmond about the Taco Bowl incident.”

“Why does telling him the truth frighten you so?”

“Because if he knows, that’s how he’ll see me! In his mind, I won’t be me anymore. I’ll just be the fattest Pitt State coed Brad Zirkle could find to have sex with!”

“Lucy-”

“I’ll be the ugly chick Zirkle used to break his rash-ing slump!”

“Do you really think-”

“I’ll be that pathetic porker everyone felt sorry for when the shit hit the fan and the ESPN camera crews descended on campus and people started getting expelled and fired! And I don’t want Theo to see me that way! I can’t let him! I don’t want him to know I was the Pitt State Slump Buster!”

“He already knows who you are, Lucy.”

She shook her head.

“Perhaps Theo would prefer to form his own opinion based on the truth. Maybe he can handle it without running away.”

Lucy let loose with a loud sob.

“Theo has spent seven months getting to know you. This part of your past won’t make him love you any less than he does.”

Lucy stopped crying and raised her head to stare at Doris. “Love me?” She blinked and blew her nose. “You think he loves me?”

Doris smiled sweetly. “You know, Lucy, in addition to my weekly sessions with you, I’ve also grown to know Theo the way the rest of this city has. I see him with you on TV. I hear what he says and the way he says it. I notice the way he looks at you.”

Lucy sat up straight.

“He cares very much for you, Lucy.”

“I know he does.”

“He deserves to know.” Doris loosened her hug and stroked Lucy’s hair. “When the time is right, you might consider telling Theo that you’ve been in love with him for a long time now.”

Lucy sniffed. “And I’m supposed to do this without Milk Duds? As if!”

Doris laughed. “You know, being true to yourself takes courage, Lucy. Great joy always requires great risk, and even effort.”

“Yeah. OK. But I’ve always been more of a drive-through person.”

“Now, to answer your initial question, it felt like someone zapped me with an electric cattle prod.”

Lucy wasn’t sure how her therapist got from joy to animal husbandry techniques but figured it might be worth clarifying. “What in the world are you talking about, Doris?”

She smiled and patted Lucy’s knee. “Every time I saw Irving-Mr. Lehman-it was like I’d been struck by a very friendly little bolt of lightning and the atmosphere became clearer in the aftermath.”

“Oh.” Lucy was following her just fine now.

“You’ll know when the time is right to tell Theo. You’ll feel it.”

She imagined it would feel an awful lot like indigestion.

Journal Entry July 11

Breakfast: 1/2 grapefruit; 2 egg whites, scrambled; 1/2 whole wheat bagel

Lunch: 3 oz tuna; 1 tbsp light mayo; 1 apple; 3 Ry-Krisp

Diner: 3 oz sirloin; 1 small baked potato; 1 tbsp light butter; 1 c steamed cauliflower

Snack: 1 light yogurt; 1 c strawberries

Affirmation for Today:

Light mayonnaise is like masturbation-it approximates the real thing but leaves you unfulfilled, ultimately leading to fantasies about diving face-first into a big-ass jar of the real stuff.

Veronica poked her head into Lucy’s office. “I’ve answered two crates of fan mail today, but I’m running out of storage room. Any suggestions?”

Lucy groaned. “None.”

“Oh. And there’s another package for you out front. A big one. You want me to open it?”

The anonymous delivery of junk food in bulk had become so commonplace that Lucy no longer even bothered mentioning it to Theo. Malomars. Oreos. Fritos. There was even a shipment of frozen Snickers bars on dry ice. Somebody with a significant disposable income thought it was funny to torture her like this.

“Sure. Go ahead and open it.”

“You don’t want to know what’s in it, like usual, right?”

“Absolutely.”

“You got it, boss.”

Veronica left and Lucy sat patiently at her desk, waiting. Eventually, her assistant returned, giving her a sympathetic nod.

“Frozen stuffed pizzas shipped directly from the original Pizzeria Uno in Chicago.”

Lucy’s heart stopped. “People can be so sick and twisted,” she hissed.

“Sausage.”

“I’m not strong enough for this.”

“It’s OK, Lucy. I’ll put them in Stephan’s office. He’s the one who’s been taking most of this stuff home anyway.”

“You like the dress?” Lucy was standing toward the entrance of the grand ballroom as the guests began to filter in. Tyson had been one of the first to arrive, and he’d come with Lola, who was already hitting on the bartender.

“Not my style, to be honest.”

“Oh really?” Lucy would have been offended if it weren’t for the glint in Tyson’s eye.

“No.” He shook his head, his eyes still scanning every detail of the item of clothing in question. “That’s the kind of dress that belongs on the floor, all wrinkled up, with the zipper broken and the sleeves torn. That dress isn’t right for you at all. In fact, I think you should take it off right now.”

Tyson had remained her friend-her flirtatious, fun friend-even though they hadn’t dated since she returned from Tampa. He’d seemed disappointed when she told him she couldn’t keep seeing him, but he’d never lost that gleam in his eye or that smile for her. Tyson’s playful attention made her feel appreciated, even while she wrestled with the more serious feelings she had for Theo.

Lucy was laughing when Theo arrived between her mother and father. The entire arrangement felt like a nonsensical wedding march-she stood with a guy she used to date waiting to receive her beloved, who was being escorted by her parents.

It briefly registered that her mother looked smashing in a shimmering blue dress and her father remarkably put-together in his rented tux; then Lucy’s eyes returned to the real sensory delicacy at hand.

Seeing Theo Redmond in a white dinner jacket was like eating a DoveBar in an outdoor Jacuzzi while listening to Mozart and gazing at the aurora borealis-almost too many pleasures going on at once for the brain to absorb. His golden skin and sun-touched hair, his clear blue eyes, that killer smile, tall and lean and knock-you-on-your-ass delicious, all set in a framework of starched white dress shirt, austere black bow tie, creamy suit jacket…

“My, my, my.”

“Stay strong, Lucy.” Tyson shook his head. “He’s just a man-puts his jockstrap on like all the rest of us.”

She blew out air and looked up at Tyson. “Must we discuss jockstraps tonight? I’m all dressed up and nowhere near the gym and I’d much rather just gawk at Theo.”

Tyson laughed. “You’re a goner, aren’t you, Lucy? You really love Redmond.”

Lucy was saved as Tyson’s gaze wandered toward the ballroom entrance, his champagne glass hovering in midair. “Now who is that little lady?”

Lucy sought out the object of Tyson’s inquiry. “Oh. That’s Veronica, my assistant. Be gentle with her.

I need her able-bodied and alert at the office on Monday.“

“The able-bodied part’s not going to be a problem,” he said, already moving away and toward Veronica.

Buddy came in next, right behind Theo, along with Dan and Gia. Mary Fran was on their heels-without Keith. Lucy hadn’t actually seen her brother-in-law since Holden’s baptism and was starting to think that Mary Fran had killed him and disposed of his body in the crawl space of their lovely redbrick Georgian in Buckhead. She’d have to remember to ask.

Then Stephan sauntered in with Carolina Buendia and John Weaver, who looked exactly as they did on the WakeUp Miami set, and it was obvious that the party was indeed getting started.

He’d picked a hell of a time to have this epiphany, but there it was, just a few feet away in the grand ballroom of the Mandarin Oriental Hotel. It was Lucy, breathtaking in that bare hint of a dress, and he was sure this would soon be one of the defining moments of his life. A moment that would change everything.

Theo put one foot in front of the other, his eyes on hers, and it all rushed into him-every other defining moment in his thirty-two years on the planet.

His brother’s birth had been hard on his mom. Brian Joseph Redmond was born after eighteen hours of labor, and the doctors whisked him away and came back to explain to his distraught family that the baby had Down syndrome. Theo was just sixteen, but in that instant he went from the focus of his parents’ lives to their peer, an independent and grown person they relied on for help.

He’d suddenly become his father’s friend and ally, his mother’s confidant, and a big brother to a beautiful and perplexing child.

Theo had observed how the soft-spoken doctor comforted his mom, held her hand, and gently told her the truth about Buddy. Immediately Theo knew that’s what he was meant to do with his own life. He wanted a job that was real, important, healing. He wanted that mix of human connection and hard science. He wanted to be a doctor. Theo cornered the physician in the hallway afterward, talked to him for a good half hour, and his mind was made up. Everything he did after that was done in pursuit of that goal.

Another defining moment came when the dean of the med school came for Theo in the middle of assisting with a routine appendectomy. As Theo followed him into the hallway outside the operating suite, he already felt the weight of tragedy hanging over him-he just didn’t know who was dead or how it had happened. When the dean put his hands on Theo’s shoulders and said the words, “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this…” everything changed again.

The lunch date where Jenna broke up with him was another of those moments. As she laid it all out for him, Theo saw that he’d never really known the woman sitting across from him, that he’d been so enthralled by what the eye could see-her beauty and drive and smooth elegance-that in five years he’d never dug deep enough to know the person inside. Maybe he’d done that intentionally, knowing what he’d find would not be as pretty as the outer wrapping. But there it was-the truth-and the truth was, the woman he’d been convinced was his ideal life partner was really nothing but a cold mystery to him and he wasn’t enough for her anymore.

Theo looked at Lucy again and his chest grew hot and he felt a smile spread across his face. He thought, She’s beautiful, and then scolded himself for the inadequacy of those words. Yes, she was shockingly beautiful. She was luminous and alive and damn hot in that nothing of a dress. But she was also the bravest, funniest, best woman he’d ever known.

And the kicker was, she wasn’t his Lucy anymore. She was everyone’s Lucy. Now everybody could see what he’d seen in her from the very start-that she had it all.

Theo smiled a little broader, still walking toward her, his eyes still on hers, and something primal stirred in him. It was a dark need in his psyche he could identify only as possessiveness. Maybe that’s why he’d been relieved to see Tyson leave her side just now.

It struck Theo as odd that he hadn’t been able to spit it out-that he loved her. Because he really did. That was an oversight he intended to correct immediately, as soon as he was close enough for her to hear the words. He no longer gave a rat’s ass about Palm Club policy- Ramona would just have to deal. He no longer minded the amount of gossip it would generate or that it was going to be a difficult seven years ahead of them. All that mattered was that he’d spend those years with Lucy.

And that was his epiphany-he wanted Lucy as much as he’d ever wanted anything. As much as he wanted to be a doctor.

“Hey, Theo,” Tyson greeted him on his way toward the door, stepping right in Theo’s line of vision. “You clean up real nice, bro.”

“You, too.” Theo peered around Tyson’s shoulder to find that Lucy’s family had gathered around her. Now he’d never get her alone____________________

“Theo, man, you’d better be good to that woman or I’m going to hunt you down like a dog.”

He laughed at that. “Not to worry.”

“Hey, I’m being totally serious here, OK? Listen up.” Tyson pulled Theo over to a couple small formal chairs against a wall. “Have a seat.”

Theo sat down and unbuttoned his dinner jacket. It was difficult to act suave when you were uncomfortable.

“Lucy Cunningham is completely in love with you, man. Do you realize that? She thinks you are the be-all and end-all. And that woman needs a man who can give her the works. Know what I’m saying?”

Theo tried to loosen his bow tie. It didn’t budge.

Tyson kept going. “The girl’s so good-natured it’s almost unbelievable-somehow, the world hasn’t made her a hard-ass like so many other women out there.”

Theo ran a hand through his hair.

“She needs somebody who will spoil her rotten. Somebody who has time to savor her-yeah, that’s it. Lucy needs a man to savor her, a man who has the time to enjoy her.”

Theo couldn’t stand this conversation another second. He stood up, rebuttoned his James Bond wannabe jacket, and cursed himself for renting something so ridiculous.

He cursed himself for thinking Lucy would be satisfied with what he had to give her. She hadn’t done so great in the last few weeks-how bitter would she become after a few years?

“Now, since I’m not allowed to have Lucy, I’m going to go peruse the menu. Check you later.”

Tyson strolled away, and Theo noticed his friend wasn’t heading for the hors d’ouvres table but right toward the petite brunette in a black cocktail dress whom he knew was Lucy’s assistant.

Lucy could feel it. All during dinner, as Theo sat at her side, he avoided looking her in the eye. He’d told her she looked lovely and kissed her cheek, but there was no zing! in the kiss. It almost felt as if Theo had put up an invisible zing! force field. He was all business, charming her parents right out of their seats, laughing and talking with Dan like they’d known each other forever, but it was all done in his capacity as her trainer, her business partner, nothing more.

She and Theo had been photographed and videotaped all evening, standing together, chatting, smiling at each other. All of it seemed hollow, and Lucy felt her heart sinking. Something was wrong. Something had happened since she’d seen him last at the gym, and it made her question everything she felt. It made her question her decision to tell him she loved him.

Stephan was finishing up his comments at a tasteful podium set up at the head table. She hadn’t listened to a word he’d said, and now he was introducing Carolina Buendia and John Weaver, who smiled brightly and said they had a surprise for Lucy.

Carolina leaned into the microphone and announced that WakeUp Miami had heard Lucy wanted to reward herself at the end of her yearlong program and they’d decided to pick up the tab and send her to… There was a dramatic pause…

“… An all-expenses-paid week for two at the exclusive Caves Resort and Spa in Jamaica!”

The room burst into applause and Theo elbowed Lucy so she knew to stand up. She said “thank you” over and over and acted suitably shocked and thrilled. Then sat back down.

She glanced around the table and locked eyes first with Mary Fran, who scowled at her, then with Gia, who raised her hands and her eyebrows as if to say, What’s your problem, chica girlie?

“Lucy, why don’t you come on up and say a few words?” Stephan glanced down on her with a fake smile frozen on his face. She had a bad feeling about this.

“This is a surprise!” She smiled, thinking that Stephan should have had the courtesy to warn her she would be speaking tonight. Not do to so was just plain vindictive.

Which was nothing new for him.

Lucy rose from her seat and began the walk to the microphone, feeling with precise discomfort how the dress clung to every nook and curvature of her body. She turned and faced at least 250 people, feeling a slight tremble rise from her toes to her lips. Her eyes darted to the video and still cameras trained on her and to the expectant looks of the faces of her family, friends, and Theo. The silence sliced through her brain and left her numb.

A voice called out from the back of the room, and Lucy recognized the reporter from the Herald. “So, Lucy? What’s the single most important lesson you’ve learned so far?”

Lucy wasn’t prepared to be ganged up on by reporters like this tonight. One-on-one was fine, but she’d done nothing to prepare for a press conference. She’d been set up, and she glanced down at Stephan, who sat comfortably in his chair, a vacant smile pasted on his flushed, rounded face. Lucy noticed with a shock that the buttons were nearly popping off his tuxedo shirt. When had Stephan gained so much weight? She hadn’t even noticed…

“What would you tell anyone out there trying to lose weight?” the Herald reporter tried rephrasing the question. “The single most important lesson.”

Lucy turned toward the crowd and laughed. Something about this whole evening was just so damn funny-she was prepared to tell Theo she loved him and he was acting like she had bubonic plague; it now appeared Stephan had gained a pound for every two she’d lost; and the woman who’d been so afraid of cameras and reporters and attention was now glorying in it. The woman who used to wear a size 22 now wore a size 10.

‘Take the risk,“ Lucy said. ”Instead of sitting around listing all the reasons why you’ll fail, take that first risky step.“ She smiled down at Theo and back at the cameras. ”And it wouldn’t hurt to step right into the Palm Club and sign up with one of their trainers.“

Stephan led Lucy away from the microphone after about fifteen minutes of questions and answers, which had apparently gone far too well for his taste. After coffee, the band began to play. Lucy danced an awkward salsa number with her father, who told her she looked cute as a button, and then accepted dances with Buddy, Dan, John Weaver, and Tyson. Theo burned up the dance floor with Lucy’s mother, then Mary Fran, Gia, Veronica, Carolina Buendia, his boss, Ramona, and every other breathing female at the event. Except for Lucy.

She didn’t understand why he was ignoring her. It was as if he was doing everything he could to avoid speaking to her or standing anywhere near her. Lucy headed over to the bar and ordered herself a margarita. Dan tagged along.

“You supposed to be drinking those things?”

“Mind your own beeswax, Danny.”

“Hey, I’m just looking out for you.” Dan put his arm around her. “Lucy, you look amazing. I mean it. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so gorgeous. I am so proud of you.”

She accepted the compliment with a nod and the margarita with relief and began to snarf it down. When she came up for air she said, “A lot of good all this gor-geousness is doing me.”

Dan’s auburn eyebrows went askew and he whispered in her ear, “Well, Theo’s great. I like him.”

She sucked down some more candy-flavored tequila and felt good about it.

“I think he really digs you, Lucy.”

“Uh-huh.”

“He’s hanging back. I think he’s waiting for a sign from you. You might have to take the bull by the horns on this one.”

“Ha!” She looked up at her brother and laughed. “And then take a seat in the stands and wait for him to unfurl the banner?”

Dan scowled at her. “There is no banner here, Luce. This is not a college football stadium.”

“So you say.”

“Seriously. Talk to me. I thought you were completely over the Taco Bowl incident.”

“Nope.” More slurping. “A girl doesn’t just get over that, Dan. It destroyed me, OK? I went on like it didn’t, I think mostly to make it easier on Mom and Dad, but it nearly killed me.”

Dan’s eyes got huge.

“I may be thinner, but I fight every damn day not to walk around seeing myself as the Pitt State Slump Buster!”

She obviously said it a little too loudly, because Dan shushed her and pulled her to an alcove.

“I had no idea, Luce.”

“Yeah, well. I’ve been lying for about a decade now and I’m pretty sick of it. When they unfurled that banner I wanted to die-there you go. The truth is out!”

Dan hugged her and tried to take the margarita out of her hand. “Hey! Get your own,” she said. “Wait. While you’re getting your own, would you be a sweetheart and get me one, too?”

Stephan enjoyed Lola immensely. She was dull as a stump and talked about nothing but weight lifting and the line of protein supplements she was selling on the side. But she had two things going for her. All right, technically she had three things going for her-a nice set of tits and a deep dislike for Lucy Cunningham.

“She makes me sick,” Lola said while dancing in Stephan’s arms. He could not remember ever touching a woman who felt as solid as Lola. It was oddly exciting, almost taboo.

“I don’t know what it is about her, but she just rubs me the wrong way. And Theo is so gullible that he’s falling for her. I think it’s gross.”

Stephan mulled that for a moment and wondered if Lola was just plain jealous. This could be a real boon.

“Why do you think they’re doing so well?” he asked. “You’re the expert, so tell me-they’re pretty much accomplishing the impossible, aren’t they?”

“I really didn’t think she had a chance in hell. It must be the money.” She looked up at him from behind her heavily mascarared eyes. “Stephan, are you married?”

He placed his hand right on Lola’s rock-hard rump, and he smiled. “Haven’t been for three blissful years. You?”

“Never. But I’m only twenty-six.”

“Of course. Let me buy you a drink.” He began to steer her off the dance floor.

“But it’s an open bar.”

“Exactly.”

Lola giggled. Stephan looked down the front of her dress, wondering how he could use this dear girl to his advantage.

Is this the moment Dr. Lehman had referred to? Lucy wondered. Because it was ten o’clock, she’d had three margaritas, and Theo had pissed her off something fierce by not even speaking with her the entire night!

All these factors led Lucy to believe the timing couldn’t be better, so, after a quick stop in the ladies’ room to realign her body shaper and fix her lipstick, she stormed Theo’s way.

He and Buddy sat at a table, and Buddy broke out into a huge grin and waved when he saw her approaching. Lucy waved back and smiled big, just as Theo turned to see who was coming toward them. His eyes flashed.

“Hey, Cunningham.”

She asked Buddy to hold her purse and grabbed Theo’s hand. “C’mon, coach. We’re going to dance.”

This was precisely what Theo had wanted to avoid- Lucy’s luscious body in that come-fuck-me dress, pressed up against him, her tipsy breath on his cheek, the scent of Paradise Awaits pummeling his adrenal glands.

She snuggled close to him and it all came racing back-every damn time he’d ever had the pleasure to touch her, kiss her, be inside her. Lucy felt so good in his hands. So warm and soft and perfect, and she was nuzzling into the crook of his neck and making those little sounds of pleasure she made whenever she got nearly naked in his presence.

“Luce?”

“Mmm?”

She wiggled a little bit, and all her parts rubbed up against all of his and he had to bite down on the inside of his cheek. Oh yes. Oh no. She was lifting that lovely face up to his, and in those heels she was at just the right level…

“Lucy, just wait a-”

She kissed him. In front of everyone! Theo grabbed her by the upper arms and steadied her in front of him. She was toasted, more so than he’d realized at first, and he knew he’d better get her out of there. She could probably use some air. So could he, for that matter.

Theo took her by the hand and swooped down on the table where Buddy now sat with Lola and Stephan, and Theo made a quick note at how odd that little grouping seemed, then said, “We’ll be right back.” He grabbed Lucy’s purse and acknowledged Mary Fran’s look of concern as they passed her.

“We’re going for a walk-we’ll be back in fifteen minutes,” he assured Lucy’s sister.

They took the ornate elevator down, and Theo tried not to look at Lucy, who was leaning back against the glass wall, holding on to the brass handrail, her head lolled back.

She was a knockout. That dress was the most provocative thin strip of fabric he’d ever seen on a woman’s body. It did wonders for her, or she for it-he didn’t know which. All he knew was that the color seemed to melt into the peachy hue of her skin, so the general effect was that she looked sparkly but naked, and that was about as blistering hot as it could get.

She hiccupped, then giggled and opened her eyes.

“I’ve got something important to tell you, Theo.” Her voice was husky and low, and when she looked at him with those gray-blue pools of femaleness he felt sort of drunk himself, though he’d had exactly nothing to drink the whole evening.

Lucy moved close to him on unsteady feet. Theo could hardly believe it, but she slapped a hand directly on his ass and squeezed.

“For seven months now, I’ve wanted to just walk right up to you in the middle of the Palm Club and put my hand on your booty,” she slurred.

The elevator dinged as they arrived at the ground floor. He grabbed her elbow and escorted her across the marble foyer toward an exit that led to the pool and beach. The doorman assisted them with the revolving door and finally they were outside. It was powerfully hot-hot like July in Miami is hot-and Theo turned Lucy toward the beach. She leaned into him as he steered her through the hotel’s elaborate poolside, gardens, and walkways.

“Theo, listen…” she hiccupped. “I have to tell you something. It’s soooo important.”

Lucy snaked a hand up along the back of his dinner jacket, over the collar, and into his hair. She pressed one of those sparkly round breasts against his side. She smelled like sin, and his head was spinning.

She put her lips to the side of his face, then left a little string of kisses down his jaw and back up to his ear, all while she stumbled along next to him.

Theo had no idea where he was taking her or what he was going to do once he got there, but somewhere in the back of his caveman brain all he wanted was Lucy in some type of reclining position, where he could get at her.

He realized that made him scum. Because Lucy was drunk and Tyson was right-Theo couldn’t give her what she needed. All night the reality of Tyson’s comments had hammered in at Theo’s head. He’d tell her he loved her, only to disappoint her. Why even go there? Why hurt her any more than he had to? Why hurt himself?

How the fuck was he supposed to spoil a woman while he was in med school and residency? Why would he want to set himself up for another defining moment, when the woman he loved sat across a lunch table and told him he wasn’t enough for her, that she’d found someone who could do the job better?

He looked down to see Lucy lift each of her pretty feet and slip off her sandals, her hands resting on his shoulders. He placed the shoes on a hotel beach chair, along with his own shoes and socks, and held her hand as they walked in the sand.

The air was thick with humidity and there wasn’t another soul on the Mandarin’s private beach. He was already starting to sweat in his jacket. Lucy stumbled in the sand and he caught her, delighting in the sound of her giggle.

“Are you OK, Lucy?”

“God, no. I’m drunk and I love you, Theo.”

She’d whispered it, and with the sound of the waves he wasn’t sure he’d heard her correctly. But then, dammit, she said it again, turning her face up to his.

“I love you so much it hurts, Theo. I had to tell you. I just can’t keep it in anymore.” She hiccupped. “I’ve loved you since that day I choked on my Milk Duds. Do you remember that day?”

Theo smiled. “I’ll never forget it.”

“OK, so that day, when I woke up on the floor and you were kissing me…?” She frowned at him. “You remember that part?”

“Oh yes.”

“Well, I fell in love with you right then. And I love, love, love you now. And I’m going to kiss you, you big, gorgeous, studly-”

When Theo slammed his lips onto Lucy’s soft, sweet mouth, he couldn’t think of a good reason to ever stop kissing her. He couldn’t think at all. He couldn’t remember what it was that he wanted to tell her.

The kiss said everything, anyway. It told Theo that Lucy just broke through a dam in her heart and the love was pouring out of her and it was all for him and he was sucking it down because he wanted it. He was dying for it.

He was dying for Lucy.

He brought his arms around her and pulled her as close as he could. She tilted her head to the side for him, giving him leeway to kiss her like a crazy man, and he lifted her, tossed her up in the air for the second it took him to relocate his hands on her butt, where he held her aloft.

“I love you, Theo. Did you hear me? This is the part where you say, ‘I love you, too,’ and then tell me the night in Tampa was the most wonderful night of your life, and every night since has been perfect, and you want to sleep with me every night from now on!”

He put her down and set her aside long enough for him to remove his dinner jacket, because he was sweating and because he wanted to have something under them when he pulled her into that reclining position he’d envisioned a few minutes earlier. He took her hand and led her closer to the surf, where he spread out his coat.

He lay down on it and propped himself on his elbows.

“Come here, Lucy.”

“What are we doing?”

“Come here and I’ll show you.”

Lucy knelt at his side, then crawled over him, hiking her dress up enough that she could straddle him.

“You are incredible.” He stroked his hands over her knees, then her thighs.

“I just told you I love you, Theo. I’ve loved you for a long time.” She frowned at him, her hair slipping from its fancy little twist. “Did you hear what I just said?”

He was stalling for time and he knew it. He grabbed her head and kissed her hard and crushed her to the front of his body and waited until he felt her relax, simply surrender to the force they created together, what they’d always created together.

Their mouths fought and pushed and then soothed. Their tongues wrestled, then caressed. Theo’s hands were all over Lucy’s body, and she was a delight under his touch-female and hot and sexy-and he was losing his mind over this woman. Lucy Cunningham was a revelation to him, a woman he dared to picture as his companion and lover. Maybe even his wife someday. If only things were different.

“Answer me!” She pushed up and away.

Theo reached out and cupped her left breast. Paradise indeed. She swatted his hand away.

“Oh my God,” she said. Theo watched her face stiffen in horror. “You’re pulling out the banner!”

“What?” He continued to stare, mesmerized by her sparkly, perfect breasts.

Lucy scrambled to get up, and as she did so, Theo saw the first slash of lightning in the sky above them.

“Lightning, Lucy. We’d better go back inside.”

“There’s always lightning with us, you bastard!” And with that, she started to run. She could really make tracks these days, and he had a hard time catching her, given that she’d had a decent head start.

Theo grabbed their shoes, then put on his jacket as he ran behind her along the boardwalk and poolside. The rain started coming down in a hard sheet, and they were soaked by the time the doorman let them back in, no small amount of amusement on his face.

“Thanks,” Theo said, brushing sand from his jacket.

“Enjoy your evening,” the doorman said, smiling.

The ride back up in the elevator was an interminable hell. Lucy’s chest heaved, her hair and dress ruined, as a little puddle formed under, her bare feet. Theo held out her sandals. She snagged them without looking his way.

“My life isn’t what you want or need, Lucy. I can’t give you what you deserve.”

She swung her face around and her eyes were clear and bright, not a tear to be seen.

“You are worse than any of them.”

“Lucy-”

“I thought… Everyone thought… Even Doris thought…” Lucy shook her head and squared her shoulders. “Go to hell, Theo.”

“You mean more to me than I can say.” Theo knew that was lame, but it was accurate, and it was the best he could come up with in the circumstances.

Lucy laughed. “We’re done, Theo. I’m getting another trainer. I can’t spend time with you anymore.”

“Don’t, Luce.”

“It’s not fair to me.” Her lips were trembling and her jaw was set rigid. “You sleep with me. You tell me you want me. But you don’t love me. I just told you I loved you, for God’s sake, and you said… You said nothing‘”

Theo opened his mouth, but there was no air and nothing happened except a drop of rainwater fell from his brow onto his cheek.

“How sad is this?” Lucy slumped back against the elevator wall and let go with a bitter laugh. “The fat girl thinks she’s good enough for the golden boy, but she’s wrong again.”

Theo’s body went numb. “You are not a fat girl, Lucy. You’re a beautiful woman. And I’m not a golden boy-I’m just a guy. Whatever this is really about, whatever it is that you won’t tell me, just get over it.”

She nodded at him, her mouth rigid. “I’m going to get over it, Theo-don’t you doubt that for a second. But not with you.”

The elevator arrived at the ballroom level and the doors opened. Lucy stepped ahead of him, and as they passed a small reception table Theo reached for her arm.

“There’s a reason I can’t say what you want to hear, Lucy.”

She scanned the foyer, as if to search for something to throw at him. She grabbed an abandoned goblet of red wine and tossed the contents onto his James Bond dinner jacket.

He watched Lucy disappear with Gia and Mary Fran. Theo found Buddy sitting alone at the table where he’d left him.

“Come on, Bud. The night has officially been shot to hell, thanks to me.”

Buddy followed him out the double doors and to the bank of elevators. When one didn’t arrive immediately, Theo charged through the fire door and began racing down the stairwell.

“Why are we taking the stairs?”

“Think of it as part of your training.”

“That would be going up, not down.”

“Just come on, Bud.”

“What happened to you and Lucy? She looked very sad.”

“We got caught in the rain.”

“Are we running away?”

“Not really.”

“That Stephan guy is a bad man. He hates Lucy. Lola is a mean lady, too. She called me a ‘tardo’ like I didn’t know what it meant.”

“What?” Theo looked behind him to see Buddy struggling to keep up. He stopped. “Are you all right?”

“I’m OK, but Stephan kind of scared me. He asked me questions about you and Lucy-like how often you kissed her and our address and if Lucy ever came over to our house. Where are we going?”

“Back upstairs.”

Theo took the stairs two at a time and slammed open the fire door, checking quickly to make sure Buddy was right behind him. “Stay out here just a moment.”

He knew he must look like a crazy man, wet and disheveled and angry as hell, but he didn’t care. He found Lola and Stephan canoodling at a table in the corner, Lola practically in his lap.

“Is there something I can help you with, Stephan? My brother mentioned you all had a nice little chat.”

Stephan jumped up from his chair so fast that Lola got knocked sideways. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Lola hit Stephan in the arm. “Sure you do! The retarded kid!”

Stephan closed his eyes and shook his head slowly. Lola put a hand over her mouth a second too late, and Theo realized he had never seen Lola drunk before. It was scary.

“We had a friendly exchange is all.”

Theo got up close in Stephan’s face. “What are you up to, Sherrod? What do you have against Lucy? She’s working her ass off for you-I just don’t get it.”

Stephan laughed in his face. “I have nothing against her. She’s doing a fine job.”

Theo frowned. “Then why try to embarrass her like you did tonight? Why give her such a hard time at the office?”

“Is there a point to this conversation? If so, I don’t see it.”

Theo put his nose right up to Stephan’s. “Here’s my point, dickhead-if you do anything to harm Lucy or ever speak to my brother again, I will unleash my inner psycho killer on your ass. Do you see the point now?”

Lola gasped and Stephan stepped back, trying to hide his shaking hands. He forced a laugh. “I must say I’ve enjoyed your heroic charge in here, defending Lucy’s honor and all, but do you realize that girl thinks you care for her? Do you know she thinks you love her?”

Lola laughed.

He did love Lucy. That was the hell of it. And as Theo raced through the ballroom, he knew he’d hurt her in his effort to spare her. How could he have done that to her? How would she ever trust him again?

Theo squealed out of the parking garage and drove in silence the fifteen minutes to Miami Beach. He double-parked in front of the Palm Club, keyed in the security code, and ran with Buddy back to the trainer lounge.

“Here. Hold this.” He handed Buddy the club’s digital camera, then clicked the power button.

“What are we doing, Theo?” Buddy looked like he was ready to cry, so Theo stopped racing around and looked him in the eye.

“This is for Lucy, Bud. She’s the most wonderful woman I’ve ever known, and I just hurt her really bad. I don’t know how I’m ever going to make it up to her, but I know that right now I’ve got to do this one thing and I need your help. Will you help me?”

Buddy nodded. “I guess. But why are we doing this?”

Theo rubbed his knuckles on Buddy’s hair. “I have a feeling that someday I’m going to need to prove what I learned tonight-do you understand?”

Buddy pouted. “No.”

“OK. Here’s the deal. I know Lucy, right?”

Buddy nodded.

“And one day, when we’re done with our project and I figure out a way to make my life work with her in it, she’s going to ask me for proof that I came to my senses before she lost all the weight. It will be important to her.”

Buddy nodded slowly. “You’re going to finally tell her you love her?”

Theo stopped what he was doing and stared at Buddy. “Just give me a couple minutes and then take my picture.”

Theo dug through the supply closet, Buddy staring at him like he’d lost his mind, which, in a way, Theo supposed was a correct diagnosis. Then he riffled through the desk drawer until he found a wide-tipped Magic Marker.

“What are you doing!” Buddy asked impatiently.

Theo held up the sign to inspect his handiwork. It was truly the work of a man on the brink, but so be it. It got the point across.

“Nice job,” Buddy said, giggling. “Do you want to smile for this?”

“Sure. Why not?” Theo smiled and Buddy snapped the picture. Then they both went to the computer, downloaded the image, and printed it out on photo paper.

It was a color shot of Theo, standing in a sandy white dinner jacket splashed with red wine, holding a sign that read simply: I LOVE LUCY.

Tyson was a natural at this. He worked the camera like a seasoned politician, spinning the truth with such panache and charm that the hosts of WakeUp Miami, along with the entire studio audience, were hoodwinked.

“Theo sends his regards, but he’s feeling so under the weather that he thought it was best not to expose anyone to what he’s got.”

Yeah, Lucy said to herself. He’s got shit for brains; that’s what he’s got.

Lucy kept her eyes on her shoes. She was able to remain like that, lifeless and out of focus, for several long minutes while Tyson regaled everyone with tales from his college football days and his aspirations to be a TV sports announcer.

Lucy didn’t mind one bit that he was using this appearance as one giant job interview. It was fine with her. Anything was fine with her.

Then it was time for the weigh-in, and it surprised her just how little it bothered her that Tyson was doing the weighing.

“Great job, Lucy!” Tyson said. “Another eight pounds and one and three-quarter inches!”

The audience began whooping and hooting and chanting, “Go, Lucy! Go, Lucy!”

And all she wanted to do was go home, put on her pink sweatpants, and eat.