August
Journal Entry Aug 4
Breakfast: 2-egg-white omelet with 1/4 c low-fat ched-dar, 1/2 c onion, pepper, and tomato; one slice whole wheat toast; 1 tbsp no-sugar-added apple butter; decaf with splash of skim milk
Lunch: 3 oz broiled salmon; 1 c steamed broccoli; 1 c salad with 1 tbsp oil and vinegar; 1/2 c brown rice
Dinner: A Wendy’s Triple with everything; a large fry; a large Frosty
Evening snack: 1 qt butter brickie ice cream; 1 box of ginger snaps
Affirmation for Today:
I seem to be drawing a blank.
Lucy woke up the next morning, looked in the mirror, and said out loud, “Get your shit together, quick.”
She refused to even attempt to wear anything without elastic embedded somewhere in the waist and found a pair of khaki crop pants that would do fine for the day. She had no pressing appointments.
Then she shoved her feet into a pair of slides and yanked a white cotton twinset out of her closet. She tied a paisley silk scarf around her neck for color, ran a brush through her hair, and smeared some coral pink gloss over her lips. That would have to do. It was all she could handle that morning.
There would be no breakfast. The idea of food made her wish she were dead. In the hours between 6:00 p.m. and 10:00 p.m. of the previous day, she’d violated every promise she’d made to herself and to Theo. She’d even violated the only sensible rule of dieting she’d ever run across, the sage advice of the Muppets’ Miss Piggy, who recommended never eating anything bigger than your head.
Lucy was fairly certain that if piled together, all that junk she binged on the day before would be bigger than anyone’s head. Perhaps even Theo’s.
And who cared what promise she’d made to Theo, anyway? He was out of the picture. This was all her problem now, and she’d just have to deal with it alone.
Lucy drove to work, and though she didn’t intend to eat for the rest of her life, food called out to her all the way to the office. Doughnuts whispered her name from their evil glass display cases. Croissants and muffins beckoned to her from bakery windows like prostitutes in the doorways of French Quarter brothels. Fast-food drive-throughs shouted obscene lies about the relief to be found in a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit-or two.
Lucy told herself she would make it through this day. She would get around to calling Tyson about scheduling workout sessions. She would stick to a sane and healthy food plan.
She would not allow Theo’s rejection to stand in the way of her dreams. She could do it without him. She’d show him.
Stephan traced his fingers down the ridges of Lola’s abdominals, agog at the carved perfection of the woman now stretched out on his bed. He had to admit that she wasn’t the most passionate female he’d ever been with, in fact she was rather lifeless, but, with all the lights on, it was fun in a visual kind of way.
“You’re pretty out of shape, Stephan,” Lola said.
He flinched and sucked in his gut.
“You should schedule some sessions with me out of bed,” she continued, propping herself on her side as she smiled at him. “We’ll focus on trimming body fat and adding definition. In the meantime, you should cut down on your refined carbs and try some of the protein powder I was telling you about.”
What the hell was this? He hadn’t asked her for her advice!
“I hate to say this, but the nutrition plan Theo and Lucy are using seems to work. Have you checked out their Web site? Hundreds of people are now following their program. It’s, like, amazing.”
Stephan felt his blood pressure build.
“Stephan?” Lola sat up cross-legged, and he was fascinated at how the only things that seemed to roll or crinkle on her body were three tiny creases of darkly tanned skin around her waist. No fat. Anywhere. He wondered if that might be unnatural.
He rolled over onto his back and stared at the ceiling for a few moments, then put a hand over his eyes. When had it gotten so complicated? All he’d wanted was to reward himself for working so hard all these years, have a little fun. So he’d been siphoning some profits to a bank in the Caymans. So what? A lot of businesspeople did it. But now he’d gone and pissed off Murray Goldstein, who was threatening to sic the feds on him.
It was all Lucy’s fault. She’d gone out there and worked her ass off-literally-and now his ass was in real danger of being sent to prison or ending up in a watery grave at the bottom of Biscayne Bay. He didn’t know which was worse.
At this point, it wasn’t even about stopping her from losing weight anymore. The damage had been done. Now Stephan just wanted to make her pay.
“Here.” Stephan hoisted himself up off the bed and leaned over toward the nightstand drawer. “I have a little something for you, Lola. Just to let you know how special you are to me.”
He watched with satisfaction as Lola opened the jewelry box and gasped at the platinum toe ring.
“It’s great!” She wasted no time placing it on the second toe of her right foot Then she hugged Stephan tight, which made him feel amorous for the third time that day, which could have very well been a record.
Lola ended the hug and spent a few moments admiring her newly festooned toe, then let her gaze return to Stephan’s. It really was a pity she didn’t have a pretty face, but he figured a man couldn’t have everything.
“You know, Stephan, Lucy hasn’t shown up at the gym for at least a couple weeks.”
Now they were getting somewhere-a little platinum apparently greased the skids. “Really now?”
“I think she and Theo had a huge fight.”
This was welcome news. “Do you think Lucy’s losing her momentum?” he asked.
“Maybe. But I know Theo, and he doesn’t like quitters. He’ll do everything he can to convince her to come back.”
“So you like the toe ring?” Stephan enjoyed watching the eager nod of her head and wondered just how much of this game Lola was cognizant of.
“I love it!”
“Why don’t you poke around a little at the gym and find out what you can about Lucy? You know, if she’s gone off her diet and has stopped exercising completely, stuff like that. Maybe we can leak it to the press-bad publicity is better than no publicity at all.”
Lola gave him a little frown. “I don’t like Lucy much, but you really don’t like her, do you? I mean, you act like you hate Lucy Cunningham.”
Stephan smiled. “Let’s just say she won’t be getting a raise this year.”
“Whatever happened to the picture?” Buddy jogged along at Theo’s side, the sweat soaking through his T-shirt.
“I sent it to myself registered mail that next morning, so it has the date on it. I’m waiting for the right time to show it to her.”
“She’s still not coming to see you at the gym?”
“No. And she won’t answer her any of her phones. She won’t return e-mails.”
“I’m sorry, Theo.” Buddy shook his head. “That was a real nice picture, too.”
Theo laughed. The picture was pretty stupid. But it was the best he could do at the time. At least it would get the point across, and he knew that someday Lucy would find the humor in it.
At least he hoped.
“Buddy, let me ask you something.”
“Sure.”
“Have you thought much about how you’ll feel if I get back into med school?”
Buddy raised the hem of his shirt and swiped at his sweaty face, not answering right away. “I’ll be OK, Theo. I’m growing up. I want you to be happy. When’s your big test?”
“Next Friday.” Theo patted his brother’s shoulder and knew they needed to wrap up their morning run. They’d gone through the Miami Springs residential neighborhood this morning instead of the track, because Lucy wasn’t joining them.
“I miss her a lot,” Buddy said.
“I miss her, too.”
“You’ve got to get her back, Theo. She’s the nicest lady who’s ever loved you.”
Buddy was right again. Lucy was the nicest lady who’d ever loved Theo. In fact, she was the most of everything of any woman Theo had ever met. And if he’d already lost her, he’d never stop kicking his own stupid ass.
“Do you worry that you don’t have time to love her? Is that what’s making you so dumb about this?”
Buddy’s question nearly knocked the wind out of him.
“Is it because of me, Theo? Do I take up too much of your time?”
“Oh God, Buddy. No.”
“ ‘Cause I won’t be living with you forever, you know. I want my own apartment after I graduate, and I want to get a job and maybe even get married one day. I worry that you’ll just sit around being lonely.”
Theo nudged his brother to turn left at Pinecrest so they could head back toward their place on DeLeon. “I won’t be doing much sitting around, Bud. I won’t even be doing much sleeping. Not for a lot of years.”
“Yeah, but even busy people get lonely. I worry that you’ll be sad, wishing you still had Lucy. So you’d probably better get her back now.”
Theo stopped running, and Buddy came to a halt in front of him. He looked at his amazing brother- someone who was determined to carve out a life for himself without a single guarantee of success-and wondered why he couldn’t be just as courageous.
“You look surprised that I have these plans, Theo.”
“Not surprised. Proud.”
Buddy put his hands on his hips and smiled, his eyes squinting through his thick glasses. “I think Lucy makes you even happier than Jenna. Lucy loves you back. I don’t think Jenna did.”
We Loves Lucy 233
Theo gulped the air and stared at his brother. “You’re right, Bud. You’re right about everything.”
Buddy gave Theo a friendly slap on his back, and the two jogged the few blocks back to their house in silence. As they stretched in the driveway, Norton padded across the grass to sit near them, cleaning himself. Occasionally he would glance in their direction.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I’m taking Norton with me when I get my own place. But you and Lucy can visit.”
Theo broke out in a huge smile. “You can count on it, Bud.”
“It’s been two hours. Give the guy a break, Lucy.”
Veronica slipped in Lucy’s office door and stood with her arms crossed over her chest, tapping her toe.
“I don’t want to see him.”
“He’s such a nice guy.”
“Is there anything else? Or was this just a ‘Theo Redmond is still in the building’ update?”
“He’s been hanging out in the lobby three days now.”
Lucy chewed on the end of her pen, hearing and feeling her stomach rumble. She’d basically been starving herself the last few days, trying to make up for overdoing it the previous week. But she felt exhausted, shaky, and about as cranky as she’d been in ten months. “What’s he doing out there?”
“Studying. He said his test is Friday. He said he took the whole week off to study.”
Lucy cringed. And to sit around in the Sherrod amp; Thorns lobby. She was ashamed of herself-if Theo didn’t do well it would be all her fault. If he didn’t reach his dream it would be…
His dream! Maybe he was here about the money! Maybe that’s all he wanted.
“You can send him in,” Lucy said abruptly.
Veronica let her head swivel around in surprise. “Huh?”
“Send him in. Let’s get this over with.”
Theo popped in a moment later and shut the door behind him. He sat down in one of the chairs in front of Lucy’s desk and threw a heavy-looking backpack on the other.
As he glanced around her office, Lucy realized Theo had never before been here. She wondered if he liked the pale yellow walls and the combination of primitive and modern art. Then she reminded herself she didn’t care what he liked.
He smiled at her. “How are you, Luce?”
What kind of a greeting was that? Like she could answer that question truthfully!
“Fine, thanks.”
One of Theo’s eyes squinted and his smile grew a bit crooked.
“And how are you, Theo?”
‘Tired and nervous about tomorrow. And I miss you, Cunningham.“
Why did he have to be so direct? So… Theo?
“I suppose you want to talk about the money.”
He said nothing and didn’t move, and she took that as his way of letting on that he was embarrassed about it, but that’s exactly why he was here.
“I’ve thought it over,” she went on, “and I think the equitable thing would be to have Ramona pay you for the seventy-two pounds, through last month, and then the rest should go to Tyson.”
Theo still said nothing.
“I know that’s not all the money you’d hoped to have for med school, but it’s still a lot.”
Theo finally stopped staring at her, and he looked down at his hands, the fingers spread wide over his knees. It was then Lucy noticed he wasn’t wearing his usual white Palm Club polo and the blue trainer shorts. He was wearing the white linen slacks he’d worn to the victory dance in Tampa, with a dusky blue cotton button-down. And the way he sat, with his head bent and his strong shoulders sloped, he looked tired. Weighted down.
She remembered how she’d summed him up when they’d first met. She thought he was a pretty-boy jock with an empty head and not a care in the world. She’d been so unfair to him. And completely wrong.
Maybe she was wrong again.
“Theo-”
He cut her off when he raised his head and shot her a look of fierce anger and hurt. That face was too beautiful and kind to carry the force of those emotions. It surprised her.
“I only meant-” Her phone rang. She could see by the numbers on the display that it was Gia, calling from her cell.
“You wanna go to lunch?”
Lucy held the phone to her ear while she watched Theo begin to seethe.
“Uh, well-”
“Yes? No? What’s the story with you, ducal You busy or what?”
“Gia, I’m sorry, but I can’t today. I’m just kind of-” Her second line began flashing, and this time it was Mary Fran’s cell.
Lucy abruptly ended the call with Gia and answered her sister.
“I’ve reached the end of my rope. I’m going to talk to an attorney on Friday, and I’m really leaving this time.” Mary Fran said all this without any kind of greeting.
Theo continued to fume. The man had a temper! And he seemed perfectly content just to sit there in the chair and boil over until Lucy broke down and said something to him.
“My flight gets in at ten thirty Saturday morning. I’m bringing all the kids.”
“Whaa-?”
“Shoot! Hold on just a second.” Mary Fran put her hand over the mouthpiece and screamed, “Don’t you dare put that in your sister’s nose!” Then she was back. “I have to go. Ten thirty, don’t forget.”
“Mary Fran, this really isn’t a good time for me.”
“Dan told me all about it. We’ll talk. I promise. Love you.”
Click.
Theo picked up his backpack and held it in his lap. He looked like he was about ready to produce a few choice words to go along with the seething just as Lucy’s phone rang again.
Perfect. Her mother.
“I’m so sorry, Theo. Just a second.” She picked up the phone. “Hi, Mom.”
“I hope I am not disturbing you, but Gia just called me to say you’re in a funk.”
That was quick.
“I’m worried about you.”
“I’m fine, Mom.”
“That’s not what Dan told me. According to him, you haven’t been fine for a decade. Why didn’t you come to me about this?”
Theo was making moves like he was going to stand up and leave. She wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. She mouthed to him, I’ll just be a minute.
“Are you listening to me, Lucy?”
“I never really envisioned having this conversation over the phone, Mother.”
“Well, I’d say the phone is better than never at all. Let me get your father on the other extension. Bill!”
Oh, Jesus.
Theo stood up. “We’ve managed to really screw this up, haven’t we, Lucy?”
“Wait. Just wait a-”
“Hello. This is Bill Cunningham.” Her father was on the line.
“Bill, for God’s sake, this is Lucy, not a telemar-keter. We are discussing that thing I told you about.”
“Which thing? You tell me about a lot of things in the course of a day, Maggie.”
“Lucy’s thing. Her feelings about what happened at Pitt State.”
“Oh, sure. Gotcha.” Lucy’s father cleared his throat. “Now Lucy, you didn’t have to pretend with us. You could have told us that it hurt like the devil. You didn’t need to protect us.”
Theo tossed the backpack onto his shoulder and turned to go. Lucy stood up behind her desk. “Wait?‘ she whispered.
“No, I think we should talk about this now,” her mother said, her voice getting wobbly. “You really shouldn’t have been worried about anyone but yourself! We could have found help for you right then, before things got so out of control. Maybe you wouldn’t have gotten so heavy.”
Lucy rolled her eyes, then saw that Theo thought the eye rolling was for him. Not you, she mouthed.
“Maggie?”
“Yes, Bill?”
“Hang up the phone so I can talk to Lucy alone.”
“Do you really think that’s a-”
“Just hang up the damn telephone so I can speak with my daughter.”
Click.
“Hi, pumpkin. How are you doin‘?”
Theo’s hand was on the doorknob.
“Quite crappy at the moment, Dad.”
“Does this have to do with that trainer of yours? I noticed at the party how you look at him. Lucy, I don’t want to see you hurt. Are you sure he’s the right kind of man for you?”
Her dad noticed the way she looked at Theo? He noticed anything?
“You know, sweetheart, we love you for being you, not because you’re getting all gussied up on TV. You don’t have to do any of this.”
Theo shook his head, exasperated.
“I know I don’t have to, Daddy. But I want to.”
“Then do it, but only if it makes you happy. No more sadness, pumpkin.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
“And your mother’s right. You didn’t have to try to spare us anything, Lucy. What happened to you back in school was not your fault. You did nothing wrong, well, except for having sex out of wedlock, but I’m not an idiot. I know all my children have done that.”
“I can see you don’t have time for this. See ya, Lucy,” Theo opened the door.
“Dad-?”
“So don’t ever hold back from us again. You got something to say-you just come right out and say it. Are we clear on that?”
Lucy heard a rush of air on the line and knew that her mother had picked up. “I’m sorry, but I just couldn’t stand it! Are you all right, Lucy?”
“I’m good, Mom. Dad helped me out a lot.”
There was a pause. “He did?”
“Yes. And now I have to get back to work.” Theo was out the door. “Thanks for the call, Mom. And thanks for the chat, Dad. I love you both.”
“We love you,” her mother said.
“Don’t be a stranger,” her father said.
She hung up the phone and tried to reach Theo before he got in the elevator, but she was a second too late. So she cupped her mouth in her hands and yelled into the closed doors, “Good luck on your test tomorrow!”
And Lucy turned around thinking to herself how funny it was that a person can spend an entire decade making a huge unscalable mountain out of something that can be taken care of in a five-minute phone call.
It started with a few postings on the TheoandLucy.net message board. In between ongoing commentary on the nearly nude beaded party dress Lucy had worn the previous month and the pros and cons of the low-carb lifestyle-a subject that got so nasty and personal that it required intervention by the site moderator-a few fans began to speculate about what had happened to Theo.
Some claimed the flu to which he’d allegedly succumbed was really something much more serious, such as mad cow disease or meningitis. One fan claimed to have seen Theo hospitalized. Then another came up ‘ with the theory that Lucy and Theo had a terrible argument and had broken up and that Lucy was now engaged to marry Tyson. Yet another speculated that Theo couldn’t handle Lucy’s celebrity and jealousy had driven him underground.
But when Theo opened the Sunday Miami Herald one morning to see their gossip column chock-full of the same drivel, he nearly spit out his coffee. The subject of Theo and Lucy was more than just one item among many-it was the entire column, and it featured three photographs and quotes from, of all people, Lola DiPaolo and Stephan Sherrod.
“They can’t stand the sight of each other anymore,” was one of the statements attributed to Lola. And Stephan was quoted as saying, “As much as I hate to admit this, it looks like Lucy has lost her commitment to this project. It’s sad, really. She was starting to come out of her shell.”
Then Theo carefully examined the photos the newspaper had selected and felt the bile start to rise in his throat. He hated that what he and Lucy may or may not be feeling for each other was up for public commentary. He hated that he’d put himself in this situation. He hated the thought of how hurt Lucy would be when she saw this.
The first photo was of Lucy’s initial TV weigh-in, and Theo was shocked at her appearance. He’d not forgotten where they’d started, but the sight of Lucy at that size no longer registered in his brain. It didn’t even look like her. The second photo showed them running at the high school track back in May. The third photo showed them dancing at the Mandarin, Lucy pressing her cheek against his chest in the seconds before she raised her face to him. Theo was relieved to see the photographer somehow missed the actual kiss when his eyes strayed to the photo caption. It read: Who’s in training now?
Theo studied that photo, and his skin began to tingle in awareness. Anyone looking at that picture would recognize his bliss. His eyes were closed, his chin rested on her hair, and a goofy smile had spread across his face. His arms held her with a tenderness so sweet it shocked him.
And the way Lucy pressed up against him, her elegant neck turned so that she could snuggle into his shoulder…
He and Lucy looked like lovers in that picture. Theo supposed the whole world could see it, just as he did right then. And maybe it was that simple. They were lovers, and it was time to dive headfirst into the concept. It is what it is, as Tyson would say.
“What’cha reading, Theo?” Buddy opened the sliding glass doors and joined him at the back porch table.
‘The paper.“
“You got the baseball standings?”
“Here you go.” Theo tried to keep his face hidden so Buddy wouldn’t see how upset he was.
“What are you upset about?”
Theo laughed. “Nothing. Just still real tired from the test.”
Buddy nodded and poured himself a bowl of cereal. “When will you know if they’ll let you back in?”
“A few weeks, Bud.” And Theo knew it was going to be the longest few weeks of his life.
Tyson had called her at home the night before and asked her to wear a jog bra and spandex running shorts for their workout in the morning. When Lucy asked if he had something particular planned, he said, “No. I just want to watch you move in them.”
So Lucy showed up at the Palm Club in her favorite pink sweatpants and a baggy T-shirt, and as she made her way across the gym Tyson shielded his eyes as if from a glaring sun.
“Ouch! You sure know how to torture a man, Lucy.”
She laughed and reached up to rub a hand over his shaved head. “Sorry, but spandex and me were not on speaking terms this morning.”
“Yeah? How much damage you think you’ve done in the last couple weeks?”
“I’d say a few pounds and a whole lot of backtracking in the attitude department.”
“You’re going to be fine.” Tyson tugged on her ponytail. “I thought today we’d do some free weights on the stabilizer ball, with some power lunges and squats, and then maybe we’d hit the bags a little. You know, something an engaged couple like us might do.”
Lucy shook her head and tried to laugh, but her heart wasn’t in it. It seemed she’d learned a new lesson about celebrity-that anything was fair game. You couldn’t put yourself out there for public consumption and then tell the public what they could and could not consume. They simply consumed whatever part of your life they were hungry for at the moment-whether it was what you wore, what you said, how you danced, or your state of mind. It was all theirs for the taking.
This was an experience quite unlike her last encounter with fame, which was wholly unintentional. The only thing people wanted to know back then was how it felt to be used. Anything else was not interesting.
“Can we do something else for cardio?” she asked Tyson. “I’m really not in the mood for brutality today, if you don’t mind.”
Tyson shot her a wily smile. “I’m not sure what’s left without spandex or brutality, unless we do the six o’clock spinning class. You up for that?”
Ugh. Lucy hated those cycling classes. If she ended up in hell after this life, she was sure the devil would greet her at the door, then escort her to her own personal Reebok stationary bicycle, her pain in the ass for all eternity.
“Fine.”
“Have you spoken to Theo lately?”
Lucy’s answer was a groan of frustration. When
Theo left her office the week before, he’d looked disgusted with her. She couldn’t blame him-she was disgusted with herself. She accused him of only caring about money. She was angry at the world, and overeating and not exercising, and not going to her appointments with Doris.
Who’d want to be in the same room with that kind of bundle of joy?
“Just push me until I’m exhausted today,” she told Tyson. “Suffering is a path to Nirvana, right?”
Tyson laughed, punching in a fifteen-minute warm-up on the elliptical trainer. “Need some tough love today, baby girl?”
“Sure do.”
“You’ve come to the right man.” Tyson leaned over and planted a cheerful kiss right on Lucy’s lips, just as Theo walked into the cardio room.
“You two set a date yet?” he asked drily. Then Theo disappeared into the trainer lounge.
“Dayum,” Tyson whispered, shaking his head. “I picked a bad time to start kissing you again.”
Lucy stared at the closed door to the lounge and kept pedaling. “Kissing can be more trouble than it’s worth.”
“Hmm, well I gotta go in there and talk to him.” Tyson studied her on the machine for a moment and asked, “You gonna be OK on your own for a few? You’re not going to eat some Danishes or something while I got my back turned, right?”
Under normal circumstances, Lucy would have laughed at that comment. But these weren’t normal circumstances, because it seemed that with each new day, things got more twisted up between Theo and herself, and the truth was that without him, she didn’t want to face this fifteen-minute warm-up, let alone the next few months. Lucy had come to rely on Theo’s calm conviction, his steady presence, and his smile, and now that she no longer had them, she missed them so much it hurt.
She loved Theo and she needed him-like she’d never needed anyone in her life. Lucy pedaled and took a deep breath, wondering how she could have let things get so out of hand.
When Tyson entered the room and cleared his throat, Theo could already hear the apology coming. So he stopped his friend before he could start.
“It’s cool, Tyson.” He kept his back to him. “Thanks for being good to Lucy and picking up where I left off with training-just watch her form on the bench press, because she has a tendency to torque her elbows, and don’t let her in the same room with a pecan pie.”
Theo heard Tyson collapse into a chair.
“Well, it ain’t cool. You two need to talk to each other. That woman loves your sorry white ass, Theo, and for the life of me, I don’t know what the holdup is. Why can’t you tell her you love her, too? Because it’s plain to everyone that you do.”
Theo turned around and studied all six-feet-five of Tyson Williams, sprawled out on one of the small metal chairs. He was wearing a half smile, clasping his hands behind his bald head. “It’s all your fault,” Theo told him.
Tyson gave his head an exaggerated shake, then focused in on Theo. “What the hell did I do now?”
“That night at the Mandarin you said she deserved to be savored. Spoiled! Enjoyed!”
“All right. I said that. So what?”
“I was on my way over to tell her I loved her-and you fucked with my head!”
Tyson sat up in the chair and leaned forward, elbows to knees. “How you figure that, Redmond?”
“After you said all that, I figured I don’t have the time to do any of those things now, let alone when I get back into school and then into my residency.” Theo smacked a pile of mail onto the conference table. “I wondered how I was going to savor Lucy on two hours of sleep a night. How I was going to spoil her if I hardly ever saw her. How I would find a way to enjoy her when my life is going to be reduced to studying, working, wolfing down hospital cafeteria food, and fantasizing about what it’s like to sleep in my own bed.”
Tyson shifted uncomfortably.
“I’ve seen what medical school and residency do to relationships, Tyson, and it sucks. I don’t know if it’s fair to ask Lucy to start something right when my life’s about to get even more fucked up than it is.”
“I know you want to be a doctor.”
“I do. It’s what I’m supposed to do with my life. Simple as that.”
Tyson studied his hands and said softly, “Is this about Jenna?”
“What?” All the jagged energy rushing through Theo’s body slammed to a halt at the sound of her name. “Jenna has nothing to do with Lucy.”
Tyson looked up and smiled. “C’mon, man. I was with you through the Jenna shit, remember? She betrayed your ass, and I saw how you took it.” Tyson got up from the chair and moved closer to Theo, then sat on the edge of the table. “You swore you’d never let a woman in as far as you’d let Jenna, remember? You told me you’d never let a female become that important to you again.”
Theo let out a startled laugh.
“And listen, Theo, I think losing your parents and Jenna like that made you kind of crawl up inside yourself and hide behind all your surface business. I remember you said-”
“What are you, my therapist?” Theo laughed in earnest now.
“I’m your friend, Theo. I’m making sure you’re not walking around thinking that Lucy is another Jenna.”
Theo stopped laughing. “Lucy isn’t Jenna.”
“See? I’m damn good at this.” Tyson smiled.
“I just don’t want to hurt her.”
“And you don’t want to leave yourself open to being hurt.” Tyson shrugged. “It makes perfect sense. All I’m saying is you can’t blame this mess you’re making with Lucy on your med school shit alone.”
Theo collapsed into a chair and rubbed his forehead, because Tyson’s words were making more sense than he cared to admit.
“Have you talked with her about this? Have you really told her about how Jenna fucked you up? How it felt to lose your parents? How scared you are about going back to school?”
Theo raised his head and blinked at Tyson. “Maybe not everything.”
“Then do it, Redmond. I think Lucy is the kind of woman who can handle most anything if it’s given to her straight.”
Theo walked over to the large tinted window of the trainer room and watched Lucy bounce up and down on the elliptical trainer in her pink sweatpants, ponytail swirling.
Lucy is not Jenna. Theo smiled to himself, sensing Tyson coming up behind him.
“Lucy’s cool.”
“She is.”
“If you really love her-even if you’re in med school or law school or in training to be the king of the fucking world-you gotta be straight with her and give her whatever you can.”
“Even if it’s an hour a day?”
“Hey, if you know and she knows that you got one hour a day for her, then that’s what you give her. But you give her your full attention for that one hour. You see what I’m saying, Theo? You make the most of that hour. Then you give her another hour the next day.”
Theo turned his head and smiled at Tyson. “You’re on a roll, aren’t you?”
“And if you ever find yourself with a whole day, you give her that whole day. And you tell her that you can’t wait for the next whole day you get to spend with her.”
That’s when Theo began to laugh. He laughed loud, and Tyson joined in. Then Tyson said, “What’s so damn funny?”
“You. You’re funny. Since when did you get to be an expert on how the female species thinks?”
Tyson smiled so big he obviously enjoyed having the opportunity to answer that question. “We all have our fields of expertise, Theo. Your life’s work is going to be medicine. My life’s work is women.”
Theo studied Lucy again, now trudging along in earnest, the pink sweatpants a blur. “I think I’ll just concentrate on this one woman.”
“She’s a good one.”
“But those sweatpants have got to go.”
“No shit.”
The two of them watched Lucy without comment for a moment, and then Tyson asked, “So what’s your plan?”
Theo smiled at him. “I’m going to get her back.”
Tyson nodded, then raised his eyebrows hopefully. “If you fuck up, feel free to delegate my way again.”
Theo laughed and smacked Tyson on the shoulder. “Not going to happen.”
Office of Doris Lehman, MSW, PhD
“It concerns me that you missed several appointments and didn’t return my calls. What’s going on, Lucy?”
“Well, let’s see.” Lucy got comfortable in the peach damask and refused-absolutely refused-to look at the annoying geisha girls. They’d have to wait for the next patient to harass, because she wasn’t giving them the satisfaction today.
“I’ve been following a very hectic schedule, Dr. Lehman, doing things like telling Theo I love him and getting rejected, eating, working, worrying, crying, eating, obsessing about Theo rejecting me, eating, trying to figure out my whacked-out boss, eating, thinking about Theo, lounging around, taking phone calls from crazed family members, eating. Other than that, not much.”
Doris finished taking notes, and Lucy would have given anything to see what she’d just written. She guessed it would be along the lines of, Patient sarcastic; in relapse with food; rejection issues have surfaced.
“What happened with Theo?”
“Banner City, I’m afraid.”
Doris cleared her throat. “I have a very hard time believing he unrolled a bedsheet painted with derogatory statements about you. Where did you choose to tell him how you felt? What were the circumstances?”
“The party three weeks ago.”
“Ah, yes. I saw photos in the Herald.”
“I made an error in judgment-I really expected him to tell me he loved me, too. Isn’t that rich? Instead, he said something about his life not being what I needed or deserved-some crap like that.”
Doris recrossed her legs and blinked at Lucy a few times. “That might have been a sincere response. Maybe he fears he’s not good enough for you.”
Lucy’s mouth hung open.
“I’m merely suggesting that Theo might believe you’d find something about him or his lifestyle unacceptable.”
Lucy shut her mouth and took a deep breath. “Uh-huh. Like the fact that he’s smart, witty, gorgeous, and fun to be with? You mean those annoying traits?”
“Perhaps he’s concerned about how you would handle him being in medical school. Did that cross your mind?”
Lucy frowned. “You mean he’s worried he won’t have enough time for me?”
“Exactly, Lucy. Maybe it wasn’t a rejection at all but his attempt, albeit an awkward one, to tell you he wasn’t sure he could give you everything you need.”
“But all I need is him.”
Doris smiled. She put her clipboard down on the floor near her feet and leaned in, lacing her fingers together as she, Lucy hoped, came up with a plan to fix everything. It was times like these that Lucy didn’t mind the copays.
Doris shook her head and laughed. “I’d love to lock the two of you in a room for a few days without diets or scales and certainly with no family or TV cameras. Just the two of you, free to be yourselves. I wonder what would come to the surface?”
Then Doris made a preposterous suggestion.
“Have you considered inviting Theo to go with you to Jamaica when this is all over?”
Lucy swallowed hard. Alone with Theo? In paradise? With nothing to do but enjoy each other’s company?
“I’ve already asked Fran. She can’t wait to go.”
Doris nodded. “I think she’d understand if you made other arrangements.”
“What really happened between the two of you?” Carolina Buendia flapped her eyelashes and glanced at the camera, as if to warn viewers that now was not the time to go for a coffee refill.
“Oh, crap,” Theo said. He leaned back in his kitchen chair and clasped his hands behind his head, sprawling his legs out in front of him.
“We’ve all seen the newspaper and the Web site- everyone is talking about it,” Carolina continued. “Was there a relationship between the two of you outside the gym that went sour?”
The look on Lucy’s face made Theo queasy. He wasn’t sure if she was going to break into tears, laugh, or rip poor Carolina to shreds with her sharp tongue. As Theo watched Lucy’s eyes go wider and wider still, he contemplated rushing downtown and busting through the studio doors to save her.
“That’s quite flattering,” Lucy eventually said. She looked at Carolina without flinching. “The truth is that Theo and I have a wonderful working relationship, but nothing more.”
Groans of disappointment rose from the audience. Theo sat up straight in the chair.
“Then why has he suddenly disappeared? Why is Tyson here?” John Weaver asked. “Not that we don’t love you, Tyson.”
Theo’s friend shrugged and laughed nervously.
‘This is really Theo’s business and not my story to tell, but I will say this…“ Lucy looked right into the camera and smiled. ”Theo has a lot going on in his life. He’s hoping to return to medical school, and he recently took the entrance exam. He studied for months and months.“
“Oh, crap,” Theo said again. It’s not that he was hiding it, but he wasn’t exactly advertising it, either. What if he didn’t get accepted? Now the whole Miami-Dade TV market could share in his humiliation!
“Whatcha watching, Theo?” Buddy shuffled into the kitchen in his briefs and a white T-shirt, his glasses askew. Mornings had been far more leisurely since the predawn workouts with Lucy had come to an end.
“Never mind. I see.” Buddy plopped into a chair. “Her hair looks pretty today. Her earrings are nice.”
Theo returned his gaze to the television and tried not to listen to the ongoing discussion of his personal life. Buddy was right-Lucy’s hair looked pretty. The way it seemed to swing right along her shoulders made Theo think she might have gotten it trimmed. And the dangly earrings were new. She was wearing a cute skirt and a top he’d never seen before. Same with the sandals. All of a sudden, it really bothered him that he’d missed out on so many of the details of Lucy’s life.
Once Carolina and John seemed placated as to why Theo had been a no-show, it was time for Lucy’s weighing and measuring. She walked toward the scale tentatively. She was frowning and her head was bowed. Tyson whispered something in her ear that earned a sweet little smile, but Theo could tell she was thoroughly panicked.
Tyson tapped the scale and stopped. Then he began tapping the other way-not the way anyone wanted it to go. The studio audience gasped and went silent.
Theo wished he were there with her. He should be right there with her! Because Lucy’s lips were starting to tremble and her cheeks got splotchy and Tyson said softly, “Looks like we’ve had a setback this month-a gain of six pounds.”
Lucy took a deep breath. Then, right there on live television, she mumbled, “Fuck this?‘
She stormed off the set, leaving Tyson and the
WakeUp Miami hosts speechless. Someone in the control room made an executive decision to cut to a commercial.
“I don’t think girls are supposed to use those words on TV,” Buddy noted, pouring himself a glass of orange juice.