Hollyleaf’s Story

Chapter 8

Hollyleaf felt as though a swarm of bees were buzzing in each of her paws as soon as she decided to go back to ThunderClan in secret, but she forced herself to wait a quarter moon until the sky was less brightly lit. Just before dawn, when the night was at its darkest point, Fallen Leaves led her to a tunnel that wasn’t much wider than a rabbit hole. This was one of the few remaining clear entrances to ThunderClan. Hollyleaf tried to thank him again before she squeezed into the last section, but he turned away before she could say anything and was quickly swallowed up by the shadows.

I’ll come back, I promise! Hollyleaf called after him silently.

Hollyleaf crouched down and wriggled into the tiny hole. The roof scraped her ears and for a moment she felt as if she were being buried alive. Her heart sped up in panic and her breath came in shallow gasps, but she kept dragging herself forward with her front paws.

Suddenly fresh air burst onto her face, and the sound of branches whispering in the wind filled her ears. Hollyleaf stood up, drinking in the familiar scents of cats and trails and border markers. She was home!

No! This is not my home now.

Shaking dirt from her fur, Hollyleaf trotted into a patch of ferns and circled a lone oak tree. After checking to make sure there were no cats out on night patrol, she crossed a narrow trail that ran along the top of the cliff. Hollyleaf told herself she was trembling from cold, but she could smell fear on her pelt and she knew she was terrified of being discovered. When an owl flapped noisily from a branch overhead, she nearly fell over with fright. She ducked into a clump of brambles and pushed her way through until she emerged at the very edge of the cliff. She crouched down and peered over.

The hollow was thick with shadows and Hollyleaf couldn’t make out any individual dens, but something felt wrong. The noise of the wind echoing off the cliffs was different, and the black shapes below weren’t the same as she remembered. It was as if trees had grown inside the camp since she left, full-branched and heavy with brittle leaves. That was impossible!

As she stared, a line of yellow light appeared above the ridge behind her. Dawn was breaking, and it thinned the shadows just enough for Hollyleaf to see a huge tree filling the hollow—not growing, but lying on its side with its roots crumpled in the corner where the medicine den was. Hollyleaf stiffened in horror. If a tree that big had fallen from the top of the cliff, it must have crushed cats beneath it! It was lying directly on top of the warriors’ and elders’ dens. How could something so terrible have happened to her Clan, yet she had known nothing about it? Couldn’t StarClan have told her in a dream?

Perhaps StarClan has disowned me, now that I’m no longer part of a Clan.

Hollyleaf realized she was shaking so much, she was in danger of slipping over the edge. She backed away a little, just as the branches of the fallen tree quivered and two cats stepped gingerly into the cold air. Their breath formed clouds around the muzzles.

“I can go to the dirtplace on my own,” Mousefur was grumbling. The air was so still that her voice reached Hollyleaf all the way on top of the cliff.

“I know you can,” Purdy rasped. “But there’s no harm in having company, is there?”

“I don’t seem to have any choice,” Mousefur muttered as the old brown tom ushered her across the clearing and into the brambles that filled the entrance to the hollow.

Hollyleaf leaned forward, feeling a thrill of delight. My Clanmates!

“Briarlight!” called a voice from the medicine den. “I can bring you something to eat if you’re hungry. There’s no need to fetch it yourself.” It was Jayfeather, sounding as if he’d just woken up.

“I still have two legs that work,” came the reply, as a dark brown she-cat emerged from beneath the tangled roots.

Briarkit? Hollyleaf stared in disbelief as the young cat dragged herself over the ground with her front paws, while her hind legs trailed uselessly behind her. Millie burst out of the middle of the fallen branches.

“What are you doing? You only went this far yesterday! You should be resting!” she scolded.

Briarlight—Jayfeather had used her warrior name, although she clearly wasn’t going on any patrols—swerved to avoid her mother. “I’m fine,” she hissed between clenched teeth. “You can’t do everything for me!”

Millie bent down and licked her daughter’s ears. “I wish I could,” she murmured.

How had Briarlight been so badly hurt? Had it been when the tree fell? I should have been here! Hollyleaf sank her claws into the crumbling soil at the edge of the cliff. A few tiny stones were dislodged and clattered down into the clearing. Hollyleaf froze.

A familiar dark tabby pelt emerged from the branches. Brambleclaw looked up toward Hollyleaf’s hiding place, his eyes narrowing. She shrank back and held her breath. Then she heard him call, “Lionblaze? Cinderheart? Take the border patrol around the top of the hollow, will you? Dovepaw and Ivypaw can go with you.”

There was the sound of cats gathering below. Hollyleaf risked one more glance over the edge. Her heart nearly broke when she saw her brother Lionblaze circling around Cinderheart, the tip of his tail tracing her soft gray fur. Dovepaw and Ivypaw—they had been tiny kits when Hollyleaf left, and now they were strong, confident-looking apprentices!—bounced around them looking eager to be out on patrol.

“Did Brambleclaw hear a fox?” Ivypaw asked excitedly.

Dovepaw had tipped her head to one side and was looking thoughtful. “I don’t think so,” she mewed.

Lionblaze started to lead them toward the barrier of thorns. Hollyleaf knew she had to leave. She just hoped her pelt still held enough ThunderClan scent that she couldn’t be tracked back to the tunnel. Luckily the ferns were soaking wet from frost-melt, which made them less likely to hold traces of her. She pushed her way through, wincing as the cold water pierced through to her skin, then raced for the tunnel. She could hear Lionblaze bringing the patrol up the side of the hollow. Ivypaw was running ahead, reporting back on every bush and bramble that she sniffed.

“Nothing here! No fox came this way!”

Hollyleaf paused for a moment, suddenly wild with hope that they would find her and take her back to the Clan. Surely she was missed in some small way? Then she thought of everything that had happened, the truth that Leafpool, Jayfeather, and Lionblaze had discovered, and she knew the Clan was better off without her. With a tiny sigh, she ducked into the narrow hole and let the shadows engulf her.

“And then I saw Briarkit—well, she’s Briarlight now—and she’s lost the use of her hind legs! She was dragging herself on her belly across the clearing. Maybe the tree fell on her. I should have been there to help!” Hollyleaf stopped to take a breath, aware that she hadn’t stopped talking since she returned.

From his seat beside the river, Fallen Leaves looked at her. It was a gloomy day and there was barely any light filtering into the cave, but Hollyleaf could see his eyes shining faintly. “You couldn’t have stopped the tree from falling,” he pointed out. “Anyway, you chose to leave, remember?”

Hollyleaf scraped her paw over the stone. “It didn’t feel like I had a choice at the time,” she murmured. “I… I haven’t told you everything about what happened. It wasn’t just that I found out about Squirrelflight and Leafpool lying to me. Another cat found out as well, a cat called Ashfur. He threatened to tell all the Clans the truth so I… so I killed him.”

There was a long silence. Hollyleaf risked glancing up at Fallen Leaves. He was staring into the river. “Did the Clan send you away when they found out?” Fallen Leaves asked quietly.

“No! They never knew! Only Leafpool found out, and then I told Jayfeather and Lionblaze. I wanted them to know why I had to leave.”

“But you could go back,” Fallen Leaves meowed, suddenly lifting his gaze. “Your brothers and Leafpool love you too much to tell the truth about Ashfur. Your secret will still be safe.”

“You don’t know that!” Hollyleaf wailed.

“I think I do,” Fallen Leaves argued. “Everything you’ve told me proves how important you were to your kin.”

“You don’t understand,” Hollyleaf mewed wretchedly. “Too much has happened. The Clan doesn’t need me anymore.”

Fallen Leaves turned away. “Your Clan will always need you,” he whispered as he padded into the shadows.

Hollyleaf managed to wait for three more quarter moons before going back to her spying place above the hollow. Snow had fallen again, turned to silver sparkles by the harsh frost. Hollyleaf crouched among the brittle grass, shivering, and watched the Clan slowly wake up below her. Brambleclaw sent a patrol of sleepy warriors to check the WindClan border. Hollyleaf was startled by how thin her Clanmates looked. She searched the clearing for any sign of a fresh-kill pile, but there were only a few scraps of fur and feathers beside the tree trunk. Prey must be scarce after such a long spell of harsh weather.

There was a scrabble of movement at the far end of the fallen tree, where the prickly nursery walls were just visible. Poppyfrost’s voice rose up, high with frustration.

“Cherrykit! You’re not going outside with that cough! Molekit, bring your sister back at once!”

Two tiny, fluffed-up shapes burst out of the brambles and scooted across the clearing. The ginger she-cat in front stopped as her little body was racked with coughs, and her cream-and-brown littermate skidded to a halt beside her. “You can’t come out to play today,” he mewed. “You know what Poppyfrost said.”

A tortoiseshell she-cat slid through the wall of the nursery and bent over the ginger kit. “Come on, little one,” Poppyfrost murmured. “Back to the nest with you.”

“Can’t Jayfeather give me some medicine?” pleaded Cherrykit, gazing up at her mother with huge amber eyes.

“He said he’s run out of yarrow,” Poppyfrost explained. There was a tense note of worry in her voice, though Hollyleaf could tell she was trying to hide it from the kits. “I’m sure he’ll find some today, and then you’ll feel much better.”

She ushered her kit back to the nursery, leaving Molekit pottering around the clearing on his own. Hollyleaf narrowed her eyes. She knew where there was fresh yarrow growing. She whirled around and ran back to the tunnel. She was used to the tight squeeze now, and hauled herself through without thinking about it. Then she raced through the tunnels, her paws firm and sure-footed on the cool, damp stone. There was no sign of Fallen Leaves as she burst into the river-cave. Leaping over the water, Hollyleaf darted into the woods-tunnel and followed it to the end, plunging out into daylight just as a pale yellow sun broke over the trees.

Thank StarClan!

The clump of yarrow was still growing by the mouth of the tunnel, fresh and green-smelling in spite of the frost. Hollyleaf nipped off as many stalks as she could carry, then headed back into the tunnel, being careful not to step on the trailing leaves. When she emerged from the narrow hole into ThunderClan territory, she put down the yarrow and sniffed the air. A patrol had just passed by, which meant she should have enough time to take the herbs down to the bottom of the cliff. Hollyleaf tried to slow her heart. It was pounding so hard, her paws were shaking in time. It was too early for many cats to be outside the camp, and the patrol was heading in the opposite direction. If she ran fast, and kept to the shadows, there was no reason she would be seen.

She didn’t give herself another moment to change her mind. She picked up the yarrow leaves and hared down the trail that led to the bottom of the cliff. Skidding around the corner, she almost crashed into the brambles that shielded the dirtplace.

A voice growled from inside, “Wait your turn!”

Hollyleaf bit back an instinctive apology and darted around the edge of the barrier. There was no cat on guard now that dawn had come. She dropped the herbs close to the well-hidden pathway through the thorns. The next cat to come out would find them. Cherrykit could be treated before the sun rose any higher.

As she heard a cat pushing through the brambles from the other side, Hollyleaf whisked around and raced back up the cliff. Her Clanmates might wonder who had delivered herbs so conveniently, but with luck they’d assume one of the apprentices had collected them unasked. No cat needed to know that Hollyleaf had returned to help them.

Not all secrets were terrible.