Isle of Dogs

Nine

Major Trader was hunched over his keyboard like a turkey buzzard when Trooper Truth's latest essay went up on the website at exactly three minutes past seven this Wednesday morning.

"What sort of nonsense is this?" Trader exclaimed out loud to no one but himself. "Naughty, naughty, Trooper Truth. We'll see about you mucking up the Commonwealth's revered history and asking the public to snitch for you!"

Trader bit into a jelly doughnut and wiped his thick fingers on his flannel pajamas as his wife stirred about in the kitchen, clanging cookware, rummaging and rooting through a cluttered cabinet for the frying pan.

"Do you have to make so much racket?" Trader yelled from his office on the other side of the spec house he and his wife would soon sell for a handsome profit.

Trader was very clever with his investments and had become a wealthy man over recent years. His modus operandi was simple. He would buy a lot in an exclusive neighborhood that did not allow spec houses. He would build a house, live in it for one year, then sell it, claiming that his position with the governor necessitated privacy and security, both of which were somehow violated, forcing him to move yet again. Although the neighbors had his scam figured out, no one could prove that he was really building a spec house, even though each of the ten homes he had sold so far were identical and rather generic. Pointed letters from the neighborhood association had been ineffective and completely ignored, and Trader's pattern had become an addiction.

He loved moving. Perhaps it provided the only drama in his otherwise artificial, mendacious life. Several months out of every year Trader ordered his wife about, supervising her packing and cracking the whip over his contractor's spinning head, goading him into escalating the building schedule, all the while yelling "Hurry up! Hurry up! We've got to move in two weeks and the new house had better be ready! Don't you screw with me!"

"But we haven't even put the wiring in yet," the contractor had pleaded with Trader just last week.

"How long can that possibly take?" Trader fired back.

"And you haven't picked out paints yet."

"Just use the same damn eggshell white you've used on the other ten houses, you fool!" Trader yelled over the phone. "And the same off-white Burbur carpet, you idiot! And the same brass Williamsburgy light fixtures, you ninny! And the same pulls and door knobs from Home Depot, you meathead!"

It was vital that Trader play a sovereign role when he was in his own castle. The rest of the time, he was a toady for the governor and no one could possibly understand how hard that was on a man's ego unless he had experienced it firsthand. Do this, do that. Use a different word.

Rewrite that paragraph. Oh, I changed my mind. Let's tell the press this instead. Where's my magnifying glass? Leave my office now! I'm not feeling well.

At least Trader's demanding and unrewarding career had taught him the value of manipulation, revenge, and profiteering. Thanks to the Internet, it wouldn't be long before he would be a self-made millionaire if his latest investment scheme was successful.

"Major? You haven't told me which you'd like for breakfast. Sausage or bacon? Raisin toast or muffins? Grits with or without cheese?" his wife yelled from the kitchen as cookware clanged.

"What are you doing in there? Practicing percussion for the goddamn symphony?" Trader yelled back. "I want it all."

Thank goodness their kids were off in boarding school and college and Trader didn't have to listen to their noisy nonstop feet and grating voices. His wife was disruptive enough, and sound certainly carried in their new house just like it had in the other ten. Trader was getting close to fifty, and if all went according to plan, he could retire soon and focus on cyber crimes. Trader frowned, deep in thought, as he read the latest Trooper Truth essay again and then composed a provocative anonymous e-mail.

Dear Trooper Truth,

I am the great-great grandson of a Confederate spy, so maybe it is in my DNA (ha ha) to be unable to resist leaking intelligence. I say ha ha because I knew you would appreciate my witty reference to DNA since you have written about it before. I happen to have reason to know that the governor has no intention of trapping any speeders on Tangier Island. He could care less. His true motivation for launching VASCAR there was to create a mess that someone else would be blamed for. I'm sure you'll want to mention that in your next essay. By the way, I was very sorry to hear about Popeye. Has it occurred to you that maybe someone stole the helpless little dog fora reason? And if someone has information re: Dr. Faux or anyone else, is there a reward?

Sincerely, A. Spy

As usual, Trader did not intend to place a period after the A in A Spy. As usual, he clicked on the SEND NOW key before he could make the correction". The spec house filled with the greasy aroma of frying meats as he waited for Trooper Truth to get back to him.

"Breakfast is ready!" his wife shouted from the kitchen at the same moment his computer announced, "You've got mail!"

Dear Mr. A. Spy,

Citizens should be willing to tell the truth without being paid! And if you know anything about Pop-eye's disappearance, you'd better tell me, or else!

Trooper Truth

"Well, well," Trader muttered with a gleeful smile. "I do believe I struck a nerve."

"Did you say something, Major?" his wife screamed

over water drumming in the cheap metal kitchen sink.

"Not to you!" Trader thundered as he composed another e-mail.

Dear Trooper Truth,

I have heard rumors about who the dog's owner was. Can that be a coincidence? You know, not everybody likes that woman, who shouldn't be in the position she's in to begin with. It's a man's world, right? By the way, does she have an unlisted address? I'm wondering how the dognappers found her house. And yes, citizens should be handsomely rewarded for helping the police.

Sincerely, Mr. A. Spy

Andy was enraged as he tapped out a message back to A. Spy.

Dear Mr. A. Spy,

It is not a man's world in the least, and if Popeye is the victim of some sort of political intrigue, I suggest you tell me what you know this minute. Don't make me warn you again. And where her owner lives is none of your business. I'll get back to you about the reward.

Trooper Truth

Andy sent the e-mail and waited for Mr. Spy to answer him. But the storm of e-mails flying into Andy's cyberspace box were from other readers. Mr. Spy had signed off and was taunting him, Andy decided with mounting fury.

He couldn't stop thinking of the times he had played with Popeye and had been licked by her. He could almost feel her sleek tuxedo coat and the baby softness of her pink belly, and how well he remembered the comforting sound of her toenails clicking across the hardwood floor back in the days when he had been a frequent visitor of Hammer's.

Andy reached for the photo album on top of a stack of research books. He was going to find that dog if it was the last thing he did. He was concerned for Hammer's safety, too. She did, in fact, have an unlisted address and was extremely careful to keep her personal life top secret. Only the police, her professional associates, and a few of her neighbors knew where she lived, and she never talked about Popeye or allowed the media to take the dog's photograph. So how did the dog thief find Popeye unless the crime was, as A. Spy suggested, an inside job?

"Please be alive, Popeye," Andy muttered as he found his favorite photograph of Popeye-the one of her in a Little Red Riding Hood winter coat. "Please don't forget about Superintendent Hammer and me. We'll find you! I promise! And just wait and see what I do to the son of a bitch who stole you!"

He scanned the photograph into cyberspace, and instantly, the image of Popeye filled his computer screen. He opened up his website program and typed in the caption: "Missing. Have you seen Popeye? Big reward offered!" If people were so lacking in character that they needed money to do the right thing, then Andy would play their little game. He edited the caption to say "HUGE REWARD offered," and of course, the expected bogus responses came in immediately. People claimed to have seen Popeye wandering along the shoulder of the Downtown Expressway or in an alleyway or crying in the back seat of a suspicious car. If the price was right, other people wrote, they would give Trooper Truth clues about where Popeye was and why.

There was an outpouring of sympathy, too. Hundreds of readers offered their own sad stories of pets they had lost since childhood. It was the most mail Trooper Truth had gotten so far, and Andy spent the entire day at his dining-room table trying to answer it and hoping that someone would come forth and say, "Hey, I took the dog because my kids wanted one and I couldn't afford it. So I'll meet you in some secret place and give Popeye up for a price." Or maybe someone would write, "Look, it was a setup. Someone who hates Superintendent Hammer told me all about the dog and gave me the address and a small amount of cash. I realize now it was a mean, heartless act and I will be happy to give Popeye back as long as I don't get in trouble and am rewarded."

Sadly, there was no e-mail about the murder of Trish Thrash, or T.T., except for a short note from someone named P.J., who claimed that she used to play softball with T.T. and knew for a fact that T.T. would never willingly go to Belle Island with a man.

Have you lost your mind?" Hammer said to Andy over the phone at 6:00 P.M. "I thought you were supposed to write only anti-crime essays. It's bad enough that you're straying from mummies to pirates, but now you're pretending to be the SPCA!"

"Do you want me to take Popeye's picture off the website?" He tested her. "I certainly can, but I thought giving it a shot couldn't hurt anything. Maybe she's still out there and someone will be tempted enough by the reward to give her back."

"I just don't know if I can stand seeing her in that sweet little red coat every time I log on to your site," Hammer confessed sadly.

"When people avoid looking at pictures, it indicates that they haven't healed. That's why I never tear up photos of old girlfriends. If I can look at them now, then I'm okay. If I can't bear to look at them, then I'm not okay," Andy said.

"Well, leave her picture on the site, then," Hammer said. "I'll just have to get used to it. And you're right, Andy, if there's any chance Popeye might be found, we have to do everything we can. I thought you were supposed to stake out the governor tonight." Her tone turned all business again. "And I'm not sure it was a wise thing to criticize him again in your Trooper Truth essay. By the way, who is this so-called wise confidante you keep referring to?"

"Having a wise confidante gives me license to have dialogue and expository conversations," Andy replied.

"Well, I don't know who the hell she is, but no one is supposed to know you're Trooper Truth, especially in light of this awful murder." Hammer was brusque with him. "So I certainly hope you haven't blown your cover over some so-called wise female confidante. And if you have, I have a right to know about it, even if I'm not the

least bit interested in your personal life. Please don't tell me it's Windy."

"Windy?" Andy was offended and changed the phone to his other ear. "I should hope you would think I have better taste than that."

Hammer ended the conversation, which had gone on far too long, and hung up without saying goodbye. Andy sent one final e-mail, but this time he used his own screen name:

Dear Dr. Pond,

Just wondering if you've gotten those toxicology results yet? Remember, this is an extremely sensitive case, and I appreciate your keeping all details strictly confidential. And no, I can't fix your recent reckless driving ticket. I suggest you go to driving school on a Saturday that is most convenient for you, and the points will be taken off your record.

Thanks and good luck, Trooper Brazil

He logged off and put on his uniform, and within the hour was parking at Ruth's Chris Steak House on the city's south side, where he met Trooper Macovich, who had piloted the First Family in for dinner. The two of them sat in Andy's car and watched the steak house's front door, waiting for the governor to emerge.

"What's it like flying them?" Andy asked as he gazed out at the gleaming Bell 430 helicopter that was painted gun metal gray with dark blue stripes down the sides and the seal of the Commonwealth on the doors.

"Wooo, I can tell you for a fact, it ain't all it's cracked up to be," Macovich replied. "Just a damn good thing the guv didn't recognize me when I flew them here, 'cause I thought for sure that ugly daughter of his was gonna say something about playing pool and then the cat sure would be outta the bag. But she was too busy getting into the snacks in that little drawer under the backseat, you know? I sure do hope she don't say nothing when they come out, though." Macovich lit a Salem Light and turned his dark glasses on Andy. "So now that we're sitting here man-to-man, how 'bout you tell me what you did to get into so much trouble. I mean, everybody's wondering why Hammer put you on the bricks for an entire year."

"Who said I was put on the bricks?" Andy asked with a touch of defensiveness.

"Everybody say so. The word on the street is you got in big trouble for something or maybe had a fight with Hammer."

"I was getting my pilot's license and several additional ratings."

"I know it didn't take you no forty hours a week for a whole year to learn how to fly. And your ratings took what? Maybe two, three weeks each? So what was you doing the rest of the time? Just running women and watching TV?"

"Maybe."

"You gonna tell me what you did to get suspended?" Macovich persisted.

"No," Andy said sullenly, deciding he might as well allow the rumor to persist because no one, including Macovich, could know the truth about Trooper Truth.

"Well, no one would guess you'd have a messed-up life. Anybody looking at you would think you're the happiest son of a bitch in town," Macovich added with a prick of jealousy.

"We need new pilots." Andy changed the subject. "Right now, you and I are the only ones left."

Macovich followed Andy's gaze outside to the big helicopter and began to entertain a suspicion.

"I bet you want to fly the governor," Macovich accused him from behind a cloud of smoke.

"Why not? Seems to me you could use a hand," Andy nonchalantly replied as he instantly decided to approach the governor on the matter. "The First Family certainly ought to have more than one pilot, and what the hell do you do when it's not VFR conditions?" he added, referring to Visual Flight Rules, which meant that weather conditions were good enough to fly by sight instead of instruments.

"Find some excuse for why the helicopter can't take him wherever it is he wants to go," Macovich replied. "I usually tell him there's a maintenance problem or radar's down."

"You've got a four-thirty and you only fly in pretty weather?" Andy couldn't believe it. "That thing was made to fly through clouds. Why do you think it's got auto-pilot, IIDS, and EPHIS? Not to mention that smooth-as-silk rotor system. Hell, you could roll that bird like an F-sixteen. Not that I'm recommending it," Andy was quick to add, since it was illegal to perform acrobatics in a helicopter. "But I have to admit, I did roll it on the simulator down in Fort Worth when I was at the Bell Training School. Slowed down to about a hundred knots, pointed the nose down at two thousand feet, pushed the cyclic all the way to the right, and around I went."

The idea of being upside down in a helicopter gave Macovich a bad reaction and he inhaled as much smoke as he could to calm his nerves. "You one crazy ass," he said. "No wonder you got suspended. Unless"-it suddenly occurred to Macovich-"you really wasn't suspended but are up to something. On some secret project. Wooo!"

"Speaking of secrets," Andy artfully dodged and deflected, "I wonder who Trooper Truth is."

"Yeah, well, you ain't the only one," Macovich replied. "The governor wants to know something fierce, and he's ordered me to figure it out. So if you got any ideas, I sure would 'predate your passing them on."

Andy didn't reply.

"I'm curious, myself," Macovich went on. "How'd he know about Tangier Island and what we was doing out there, huh? I read all about it in one of his columns on that web of his. It's like he was there watching the whole thing."

Andy said nothing, because he did not want to lie. Macovich turned his dark glasses on him as yet another suspicion hovered over his thoughts.

"You ain't Trooper Truth, are you?" Macovich pressed him." 'Cause if you are, I promise to keep it a secret, long as you understand I got to tell the governor."

"Listen, what makes you think I wouldn't tell the governor myself if I knew who Trooper Truth was?" Andy sidestepped the question.

"Hmmm. I guess that's a good point. If you knew, you would tell him and take all the credit," Macovich considered.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Then who you think it is? I know it's passed through my mind that maybe Major Trader's doing it."

"Not hardly," Andy said. "Trader can't tell the truth. So he couldn't possibly be Trooper Truth, now could he?"

"You're probably right." Macovich blew out a cloud of smoke. "You also right about us being short of pilots."

"Why do they keep quitting?" Andy wanted to know.

Macovich decided he had said enough. He was already in trouble with the First Family. No point in making matters worse, and he was worried that Andy might prove to be a threat to him. That white boy sure was smart-a lot smarter than Macovich. Andy didn't even have to think hard about anything before he made a comment, and sometimes he used words that Macovich didn't know.

"So, I bet when you was in school, you was one of those bookworms," Macovich said as envy crept into his tone and compelled him to find a way to put Andy down. "Bet you lived in the library and all you did was study."

"Hell, no. I never studied," Andy said, not adding that he had sailed through college in three years and loved learning so much that he never considered his school-work studying. "All I wanted to do was get out and get on with things."

"Yeah, no shit." The cloud of smoke nodded.

Machovich had suffered through one year of a technical college where he grew to strongly resent his father's ambition that his eldest son would one day hold down a respectable job at Ethyl Corporation, making solvents. Macovich moved out of the house his freshman year and joined the Army, where he learned to fly helicopters, and then moved on to law enforcement. A couple months back, he gave his father a framed autographed picture of the First Family, just to rub it in a little bit. Mrs. Crimm had written a nice personal inscription on it that said, "First Lady Maude Crimm."

A cigarette butt sailed in a perfect arc and landed on the pavement, where it glowered like an angry eye.

"All I gotta do is say one word to the guv about you flying as my co-pilot and he take care of you," Macovich bragged without the slightest intention of facilitating helicopter flying or anything else for Andy-except trouble, maybe. "That's assuming he don't remember me. Now if that pool shark daughter decides to make a fuss, then I might be best off speaking to him another time. Wooo, I'd better light up quick before they come out."

For a brief instant, the smoke cleared enough for Andy to remember that Thorlo Macovich was the biggest black male he had ever met.

"Now, it ain't the guv who mind people smoking." Macovich lit another menthol cigarette. "But the First Lady-wooo."The smoke shook its head." 'Member that interview she did in the paper the other Sunday on tertiary smoke? I mean, how?" The cloud of smoke went on and on. "What? I inhale, then I blow it in your mouth, then you hurry and locate a third party and blow it in their mouth?"

"You'd better blow it somewhere quick," Andy said as he worked out a plan. "Here they come."