Johnny Porno

Chapter 13

“What’s the problem, Nathan?” Nancy said. “What’s so important you’re hanging around this morning?”

He’d already taken Little Jack to camp and had stopped at the bagel place to pick up the cinnamon raisin she liked. He’d even brewed a fresh pot of coffee for when she came down and now she was still in a huffy mood, except today was different; today Nathan was no longer willing to ignore her attitude or pass it off to her not being a morning person.

It was about her never being home in the afternoon and he told her so.

“Since when do I have to answer to you?” Nancy said.

“Does that mean you won’t tell me?”

“It means what it means,” she said. She avoided his eyes and looked into her coffee before sipping it.

“Then I think we should talk about us,” he said.

“What’s wrong with us?”

“There isn’t any us. It’s you. It’s all you.”

“You saying I’m selfish, Nathan? Is that it?”

“You are, but it’s more than that. I think you know that.”

She stared him down then. “Now you’re going to tell me what I think?”

“No,” he said. “I have a pretty good idea what you think, but I’m putting an end to it.”

Nancy seemed amused. “Really?”

“You’re making a fool of me. I don’t know with whom and I don’t care. Either it stops or it’s over. We’re over.”

Nancy rolled her eyes. “Now you’re making a fool of yourself,” she said. “Accusations like that.”

Nathan didn’t respond.

Nancy got up to refill her cup.

“Is it about sex?” she asked. “Because I told you I’m afraid of getting pregnant again. The doctors told me it wasn’t safe for me to get pregnant anymore. I told you that.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“Excuse me?”

“Sex is only a part of the problem, Nancy. I think you know there’s more.”

“I’m expecting my period any day now. Would a hand job make you happy? If that’s what you want we can go upstairs now and I’ll do it. I won’t do the other. You know I won’t.”

“Don’t talk like that,” he said. “Not to me.”

She feigned a chuckle. “I don’t know how else to say it.”

“It’s insulting.”

“Why, because you play for the Philharmonic? I’ll bet the other men in that orchestra know what one is and probably talk like that all the time.”

“It’s the pretext of your conversation that’s insulting.”

“The what?”

“Don’t skirt the issue. It’s not about a hand job. It’s about us. Do you want to stay married or not?”

“Well, I did when I woke up this morning, but now I’m not so sure. Not if I have to account for every second of the day. Not if I have to wake up to this every morning.”

She couldn’t help herself, Nathan was thinking. She was a cheat and cheats lied. She had been lying since the first day they met and all through their marriage. Worse, he had been willing to go along with the lie for the sake of having someone. He’d blinded himself for the sake of company and now that he couldn’t live with the lie anymore he was forced to have this conversation and probably another few before he went to a lawyer and started divorce proceedings. He changed the subject rather than pursue what was hopeless.

“You should at least be more considerate of your son,” he said. “At least give him some attention.”

“I guess we’re finished discussing us,” she said.

“Be more considerate to the boy.”

“He’s my son, Nathan, not yours.”

“Yes, he is.”

Nancy slammed the cup down on the table, splashing most of the coffee onto the floor. “And what the hell do you know about being a mother?” she yelled. “And who the hell are you to tell me how to be one?”

Nathan wiped the coffee spill with paper napkins.

“He has a father, too, for your information,” Nancy said. “I don’t see him doing his share. He barely pays for his son.”

“The boy loves his father and his father is strapped for cash. You should try and be more considerate of him, too.”

“And on that note, fuck you and fuck him and fuck everybody else,” Nancy said. She was up from the table now. She went to the sink and dropped her cup in it, cracking the handle. “I should be more considerate of everybody but myself. Is that it? I should stay home and play wife and mother and let everybody else do whatever the hell they want and I shouldn’t complain or God forbid do anything about it like try and get my hair done or go to the doctor or shopping for a pair of shoes I like because then I’m being too selfish. Meanwhile you go away with that orchestra, traveling all over the place, concerts in Boston, Chicago, Los Angeles, and how the hell do I know you’re not screwing some bimbo in your hotel rooms? How do I know you’re not having a good old time yourself? Tell me that.”

Nathan finished wiping down the floor and table. He pointed to the coffeepot. “You want the rest of that?”

Nancy looked from his face to the pot.

“Do you?” he asked again.

Her eyes narrowed. Then she stormed out of the kitchen, through the living room and up the stairs.

“I guess not,” he said.

Louis returned to work but was still itching. The doctor had prescribed a salve for the crabs the roller-skating skank had given him. It had eased some of the itching last night, but this morning he was late getting up and had rushed out of the apartment without reapplying the medicine. It was close to ten o’clock when he gave Nancy a call on the off chance she’d be awake early and was surprised when she answered the phone.

“Who is it?” she answered.

“Nan?”

“Louis?”

“Yeah, it’s me. What are you doing up so early?”

“Why’d you call then, to wake me up if I wasn’t?”

She had an edge to her voice Louis couldn’t afford to ignore. He’d have to find some extra time for her today. The problem would be the rash, although he was pretty sure he could work around that if he had to.

“I took a shot,” he said. “What you doing today?”

“Yeah, well, I was looking for you two days ago, but you never showed up to your apartment. I had a free afternoon and thought we might make the best of it. Too bad you weren’t interested then.”

He ignored her sarcasm. “You free today?”

“I don’t know. I think Nathan is going to leave me.”

“So?”

“I know, but I’m not sure it’s long enough yet. I mean, how much I’d get in the divorce.”

“You break his balls enough, he’ll probably give it all away to escape.”

“That supposed to be a compliment?”

“Lighten up. Can’t a guy joke?”

“Ha, ha, ha,” said Nancy with extra sarcasm.

He could envision her rolling her eyes and had to suppress the urge to hang up on her.

“Did you find out John’s schedule yet?”

“He came last night.”

“What do you mean?”

“He came last night.”

“You were supposed to let me know.”

“And how would I do that if you’re never around. Like I said, I went looking for you and you never came home. Didn’t they tell you at the bar? I was there the other night.”

“I haven’t been,” Louis said. “You find out how much gelt he’s carrying?”

“No. What was I supposed to do, ask? I don’t know. He’s supposed to come again Sunday, but he doesn’t always do what he’s supposed to. He’s like all my other exes, I guess.”

He could reach through the line and smack her, he was thinking. Instead, he rubbed his face in frustration.

“You free today or what?” he said.

“Why?”

“Because I’m horny.”

“Why don’t I believe you?”

Because you’re a ballbreaking bitch, he thought.

“I don’t know,” he said. “Aren’t you?”

“Aren’t I what?”

“I don’t have time for games today, Nan. You want to get together or what?”

There was a pause on the line.

“I’m hanging up in two seconds,” he said.

“What time?”

“Two hours. I’m on my way home now.”

“Okay, noon,” she said.

“See you later.”

She had started to say something else when Louis hung up. He was shaking his head when he saw a brand new red Cadillac Fleetwood Eldorado at a traffic light. The showroom sticker was still glued to the rear passenger window. It reminded him of what Jimmy the loan shark had said at the bar about some guy who had wanted the one used in the porn movie and what Nancy had mentioned about some hairdresser involved with the movie. The director, he thought; either him or one of the actors.

The guy who wanted the movie memorabilia, the way Jimmy had painted him, sounded like a sucker waiting to be taken. If Nancy’s connection panned out and he could get the director to maybe sign the paperwork, there might be a score to be made.

He had to see the damn movie already. Then, if he had to improvise, he would know what to look for on the used car lots.

It was something else to talk about with Nancy rather than listening to her same old beefs about them not spending enough time together. The woman could wear anybody down. Louis was surprised it had taken her latest husband this long to give up.

John was still feeling good when he woke up for work in the morning. Even though Nancy had been a royal bitch when he dropped off the money he owed, he was able to spend some quality time with his son. He especially got a kick out of watching his boy try to eat his way through the banana barge he’d bought him at the Carvel, the way the kid had smeared the chocolate syrup all over his face and on his chin.

He could still feel the hug he’d exchanged with Little Jack before he left. John became emotional thinking about his son. It had become part of the process; whenever he spent time with the boy, a heavy dose of guilt followed upon dropping him off with his mother.

John didn’t see the old man when he left the apartment and wondered if Alexis Elias had found himself another date the night before. John smiled thinking about how many women the seventy-year-old had at least chatted up since the two men first met. He could think of six off the top of his head, three who lived in the building, one of them still married.

He stopped to light a cigarette at the curb. This morning he was determined to ask the builder if there would be any work the following week. It was best he knew sooner rather than later whether or not he could turn down Eddie Vento. It would come down to whether or not he had to drive car service again. If he did, he was going to take his chances working for Vento. If not and the builder had more work for him, John was going to turn Vento down.

He was hoping for the best when he crossed the street to his car and spotted the flat rear tire. He glanced at his watch and saw he didn’t have much time to change it. Then he saw the other rear tire was flat as well and he knew it wasn’t a coincidence.