Keeper of the Heart

Chapter 14

“You couldn’t tell he was a warrior by the look of him?” Tedra asked carefully.

Shanelle leaned against the balcony and stared out at the soft glow of gaali-stone posts lighting the city streets below. She didn’t want to talk about Falon Van’yer. A warrior. A deceiver, as far as she was concerned. Oh, Stars, she hadn’t thought this day could possibly get worse. That showed what she got for thinking.

But her mother wasn’t going to settle for silence. After that little scene in the dining hall, Tedra knew exactly who Falon was without having to be told.

“He’s built like a warrior, yes. I couldn’t very well miss that, mother. But he has black hair. Even Martha thought he was a visitor when I showed him to her.”

“The Ba-Har-ani are known to have dark hair,” Tedra pointed out.

“But that country is four months distant from ours by normal travel, and they haven’t crossed our borders in more years than I can remember. I’ve never even met a Ba-Har-ani before. And word of the competitions wasn’t likely to have reached them when they have no dealings with us or the Center.”

“Nor did it reach them. These Ba-Har-ani came here with your brother at your father’s request And I might as well give you the bad news now. Your father wants to see our two countries back on friendly and communicating terms. That’s going to give that young man an edge if he decides to ask for you, and I wasn’t blind in there, baby. He lit up like a vein of gaali stone when he realized who you were.”

Shanelle groaned audibly. “He’ll ask. But now I have even more reasons not to want him. I ought to leave the planet right away.”

“Now, don’t be hasty,” Tedra replied. “You might actually have fewer reasons and just not know it, or aren’t you aware that the Ba-Har-ani differ in a lot of ways from our warriors? Your Falon’s lack of control is one. And didn’t you say he’s emotional? But if you tell me there’s nothing there between you two now, that you no longer feel anything for him, then I won’t say another word.”

“Mother, why are you taking his side again?” Shanelle asked in exasperation.

“Because you chose him. Because I don’t want to see you make a mistake just because you’ve temporarily got cold feet. Because you weren’t the only one to arrive late tonight, and I didn’t see you limping in this time.”

Shanelle glanced away, wishing her mother weren’t so intuitive. “No, he didn’t hurt me this time. Between my bed attacking him and him almost attacking Corth when he showed up, there wasn’t much time for anything else.”

“There’s nothing like an adjustibed to give a warrior second thoughts,” Tedra said, straight-faced for about two seconds more before she burst into laughter. “I’m sorry. I just love it when these big guys meet up with technology. But I don’t suppose it was funny at the time.”

Shanelle raised a brow. “Are you kidding? He saved me from my bed, mother.”

“Oh, stop,” Tedra pleaded, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

“Yes, well, it was that damn amusement that caught me off guard and gave him the final advantage-or it would have if Corth hadn’t shown up when he did. But that doesn’t change the fact that Falon wouldn’t leave my room when asked. He wouldn’t listen when I said I didn’t want to share sex. He even promised to break me of my stubbornness when I’m his. His high-handedness is insufferable.”

“Sure it is,” Tedra said with a complete lack of sympathy. “He is a warrior, after all, and that’s one way ours and theirs are obviously the same. And you’re used to that high-handedness, baby, in your own family. You’re just not used to it from a stranger.”

“And I don’t intend to get used to it. If I had known he was a warrior from the start, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. I never would have gone with him.”

“Don’t kid yourself, Shani. When you get your socks knocked off, there isn’t much you can do about it, and I speak from experience. You would have tried him just for the hell of it. You wouldn’t have been able to resist the temptation. So we’d be having this exact same conversation, because that man got hit with the same thing you did, and by all accounts, he means to do something about it.”

“There isn’t much he can do if I’m not here,” Shanelle said stiffly.

Tedra sighed. “Let me tell you about a couple of the bigger problems I’ve faced in my life. One was having your father get me pregnant without my permission. And if that sounds funny to you, try and remember that people didn’t get in that condition where I came from. I was absolutely terrified of the very idea. No way was I going to go through something as barbaric as giving birth. I couldn’t even read the meditech’s report that would confirm or deny it. But Martha didn’t let me play the coward. She read the report and blurted it right out, even telling me the baby was going to be a boy.”

Shanelle frowned. “But, mother-”

“I know, I know, but let me finish. So I decided to be brave and bear this son for Challen. I loved him, after all, and he wanted it done the old-fashioned way. But the closer it got to the time of delivery, the more frightened I was, even though I knew I’d have a meditech to crawl into to make it all painless. What I hadn’t counted on was the simple fact that meditechs weren’t designed to accommodate great big bellies, because it’s virtually impossible to gain excess weight eating Kystrani food, and this was a standard Kystrani meditech. So at the last farden minute, I find out I’m going to have to give birth the truly old-fashioned way, without a single painkilling agent, without even a Sha-Ka’ani healer on hand, because I’d already Transferred to the Rover and it was too late to find one. Talk about going into major shock.”

“How come I never heard about this before?”

“Because your mother doesn’t like to own up to fear, and I haven’t even got into half of it yet. Your father ended up a nervous wreck. He hadn’t been expecting to do the delivery himself, but only he and Corth were on the ship, and of course Martha. But Martha lacks hands, and Challen still wasn’t letting Corth’s hands get anywhere near me. Before your brother arrived, I must have sworn to every deity in two Star Systems that I was going to murder your father for putting me through that. At least that he took in stride. He kept telling me my reaction was perfectly normal, to which I kept telling him to drop dead. And then there was Martha offering instruction by the book, along with her usual drivel, like, ‘If you’d do a little pushing instead of threatening to castrate the big guy, we might get this over with,’ and ‘I think we can safely say there’s nothing wrong with your lungs, kiddo.’ ”

Shanelle couldn’t help smiling, though she said, “That wasn’t very nice of her.”

“Actually, she was trying to get my mind off the pain by getting me mad, but I didn’t appreciate it at the time. But she saved the best for last, when Challen was holding his squalling son in his hands, and I was lying there half dead, or so it felt like. ‘Save the congratulations for later, guys. You’re only half done.’ ‘She means the afterbirth,’ Challen tried to reassure me, but Martha didn’t allow time for being reassured. She replied calm as you please, ‘No, I mean your son’s twin sister, who’ll be popping out to join him shortly.’ ”

“You mean you didn’t know?”

“Hell, no, I didn’t know. She knew all along, and not once did she even hint that I was carrying two instead of one. She owned up afterward that she’d decided I couldn’t handle that kind of information, and maybe she was right. I had a hard enough time adjusting to the fact that I was having one baby. I might not have decided to try it if I had known I’d be having two at once. I really don’t know what I would have done.”

“Give yourself more credit, mother.”

“No, I’m being honest, Shani. You’ve grown up expecting to have babies, maybe even looking forward to it. To you it’s no big deal. But I grew up expecting never to have to go through that. And that brings me to the second big problem I faced. I’d had you and your brother. Don’t ask me how I survived it, but I did. And I loved you both to pieces. But there was no way in hell I was ever going to go through that again. I made the decision without telling your father. I was going to have the meditech see to it that I couldn’t have any more children. And I was absolutely determined.

“I went to Medical on the Rover. I even punched in the data, telling the meditech what I wanted done. And for once Martha wasn’t saying a word. Total silence from that department. Then I thought about how much I loved Challen and that he’d probably never forgive me, and I started crying. Next I thought of you and Dalden, and how precious you were to me, and I really got into a fit of weeping. I sat there on the floor, crying my heart out, finding out that emotions can actually cause physical pain.”

“You didn’t do it, did you?” Shanelle asked softly.

Tedra shook her head, admitting, “I didn’t have to. As soon as the hysterics started, Martha located Challen and Transferred him to Medical. He sat there on the floor with me and held me until I dried up, made me tell him what the problem was, then told me there was no problem. He had had no intention of getting me pregnant again. What I wasn’t aware of was that warriors don’t want big families, that they suffer right along with their women during labor because they honestly can’t stand seeing their women in pain. The standard is one or two, on the rare occasion three, children per household, and then a warrior goes back to drinking dhaya wine for the rest of his life, the local method of birth control. I’d already given Challen twins, which was more than enough for him.

“But to wrap this up, my first problem, from which I would have preferred to run like hell, simply had to be faced and got through; my second, Challen took care of himself. My point, Shani, is every difficulty and problem has its solution one way or another. You just have to find it. Your problems can be worked out one by one, until there are no more.”

It took Shanelle a moment to get out of the past and remember that Falon was the topic of this conversation. “Sure, I can think of one solution right now. I just go straight from sex-sharing into a meditech for the rest of my life.”

“That’s not funny,” Tedra snapped impatiently. “That problem happens to be Falon’s, and he’ll fix it or else he’ll answer to your father.”

“And what if it’s not fixable? He swears it won’t happen again, but, mother, he had to fight to control his passion tonight when he barged into my room. I watched him do it and it scared the hell out of me. And what, really, do we know about these eastern warriors? What else am I going to find different about him?”

Now Tedra grinned. “Maybe that they punish their women differently, or not at all. Maybe that one of those excessive emotions they possess is love.”

Shanelle gripped her mother’s hand excitedly. “Do you know that?”

Tedra winced. “Stars, I didn’t mean to get your hopes up, baby. No, I don’t know it. But your brother might. He’s been with these Ba-Har-ani for the last couple of weeks. Why don’t you ask him?”

“Ask me what?” Dalden said from behind them.

Tedra glanced over her shoulder. “Did you only just return?”

“No, we came back in with the food. We’ve been sitting in there starving, waiting for you both to join us.”

Shanelle turned and looked through the tall arched openings that led back into the chamber. Falon was sitting on one of the backless couches, talking to one of his friends, but he must have sensed her gaze, for he looked up just then, found her on the balcony-and melted her with one of those heartwarming smiles of his. She closed her eyes against it with a groan and whipped back around.

Tedra beckoned her son forward. “Your belly can wait a few minutes more. What can you tell us about the Ba-Har-ani and how they differ from our own warriors?”

“They are a little more demonstrative in certain instances,” Dalden said as he moved to Shanelle’s other side. “When they get angry, you know it.”

“Did you hurt him, Dal?” Shanelle asked in a small voice.

Dalden laughed. Tedra patted Shanelle’s hand, assuring her, “If he’d wanted to hurt him, he would have challenged him. Now what about how they deal with their women, Dalden? Particularly in the way of punishments?”

He shrugged offhandedly now, but there was a purely male spark of amusement in his amber eyes as he replied, “I believe they spank them.”

Tedra chuckled. “Is that all?”

“Is that all!” Shanelle gasped, outraged. “That’s-that’s-”

“Not what you were afraid of,” Tedra was quick to remind her.

Shanelle clamped her mouth shut. That was true. But spanking? From someone with Falon’s incredible strength? No, thank you.

“What about love?” Tedra asked next.

Again Dalden shrugged. “That was not a subject ever raised in discussion while I was with them. I know the man wants Shanelle. When he thought her a visitor, he would have bought her. Now that he knows who she is, he wants her for his lifemate. And I believe he will care for her as well as any Kan-is-Tran warrior would. I like him as a man. I respect him as a shodan. Frankly, I hope father gives her to him-especially since she’s already given herself to him.”

The note of disapproval that had entered his voice at the end had Shanelle glaring at him, even as her cheeks heated up. “That was my business, Dal. I chose him, yes, a mistake I don’t intend to repeat. It just didn’t work out, and that’s all there is to it.”

“I know you fear him right now, Shani,” he said with a degree of hesitancy after her outburst. “He told me so. But whatever the reason is, I’m sure he can make it right.”

“And I’m sure he can’t,” she replied angrily. “Stars, he told you everything else, I’m surprised he didn’t own up to that, too.”

This time Dalden grinned. “When you were mentioned, he didn’t know you were my sister, nor did I know it was you he was so determined to buy.”

“Damn it,” Tedra interjected at this point. “That’s twice now you’ve said he wanted to buy her. Does he think lifemates are for sale around here?”

“No, but that’s not how he wanted her when he thought she was a visitor. After all, his family has good reason for disliking visitors. But he still wanted to take Shani home with him-only as a slave.”

“A what?!” Shanelle and Tedra exclaimed together.

Dalden frowned. “Didn’t you know the Ba-Har-ani are slaveholders?”

“Now that you mention it, I have a vague memory to that effect, but from so many years ago, it’s no wonder I didn’t recall it,” Tedra said as she put an arm around Shanelle’s waist to lead her back inside, adding for her ears only, “That ties it neatly and for the last time. If your father gives you to that man, I’ll farden well help you pack myself to run in the opposite direction. I may even go with you.”