Last Witnesses : An Oral History of the Children of World War II

“I COULDN’T GET USED TO MY NAME…”

Lena Kravchenko SEVEN YEARS OLD. NOW AN ACCOUNTANT.

Of course I knew nothing about death…No one had time to explain it, but I just saw it…

When the machine guns rattle away from an airplane, it feels as if all the bullets are aimed at you. In your direction. I begged, “Mama, dear, lie on me…” She would lie on me, and then I didn’t see or hear anything.

Most frightening was to lose mama…I saw a dead young woman with a baby nursing at her breast. She must have been killed a minute before. The baby didn’t even cry. And I was sitting right there…

As long as I don’t lose mama…Mama holds my hand all the time and strokes my head: “Everything will be all right. Everything will be all right.”

We rode in some truck, and all the children wore buckets on their heads. I didn’t obey mama…

Then I remember—we’re being driven in a column…They’re taking my mama away from me…I seize her hands, I clutch at her marquisette dress. She wasn’t dressed for war. It was her fancy dress. Her best. I won’t let go…I cry…The fascist shoves me aside first with his submachine gun, and then, when I’m on the ground—with his boot. Some woman picks me up. Now she and I are for some reason riding on a train. Where? She calls me “Anechka”…But I think I had a different name…I seem to remember that it was different, but what it was I forgot. From fear. From fear that they’d taken my mama from me…Where are we going? I seem to understand from the conversation of the adults that we’re being taken to Germany. I remember my thoughts: why do the Germans need such a little girl? What am I going to do there? When it grew dark, the women took me to the door of the car and just pushed me out: “Run for it! Maybe you’ll save yourself.”

I landed in some ditch and fell asleep there. It was cold, and I dreamed that mama was wrapping me in something warm and saying gentle words. I’ve had that dream all my life…

Twenty-five years after the war I found just one of my aunts. She told me my real name, and for a long time I couldn’t get used to it.

I didn’t respond to it…