Light in Mourning

19

“I have to go. I promise I won't see him—I have no reason to, but I have to go.” Georgia sat beside me on the newly restored porch as we sipped coffee. Spring rain was misting down around us as we watched the waves roll in. Her first renters were scheduled for this weekend and she’d busted her ass for the last few weeks to get the house in perfect condition. She’d been a nervous wreck. And I’d suspected she'd thrown herself into the rental to forget the parole hearing that was fast approaching. Oh yeah, and that fucking proposal that we hadn’t talked about since it had happened. She’d done a stellar job distracting me with her lips around my dick, but don’t think it hadn’t crossed my mind since. It might have been in the moment and impulsive, a jackass move for me since I didn’t even have a ring for her, but if she would have said yes, I would have carried her off that same day and tied her to me, body and soul, forever.

“I get you have to go, but I don’t get why I can’t go with you.” I took a sip of my coffee as my eyes stayed trained on hers.

“I have to do this by myself. You don’t understand. Kyle was always there for me, through all of this, holding my hand. He was my lifeline. I need to be my own lifeline—strong enough to face this to get over it.” Her fingers stroked my hand sweetly.

“I get it, but I don’t like it.” I sighed. “How long will you be gone?” The parole hearing was next week and now that everything with the beach rental was taken care of, she had lots of excess energy to focus on it.

“A day or two tops.”

“Can’t Silas go with you?” If I couldn’t be there, he would be the next best thing. I knew he wouldn’t let anything happen to her.

“No, and anyway, he’s busy. He and Justin are working on getting financing for the pub. Remember?”

Silas and Justin were trying to open a gastropub in downtown Wilmington. Justin had the culinary skills to feed the masses and Silas had the finances and energy to get it off the ground.

“I just don’t want you facing it alone.” I also didn’t want her running into Kyle. I knew she wouldn’t seek him out, but I didn’t trust him not to pull shit if he heard she was in town. I also hated to admit in some deep, dark part of me, I was concerned she wouldn’t be able to resist his advances and would fall back into old habits, just as she’d always done.

“I’ll be fine.” She leaned over and pecked me on the lips. She tasted like coffee and vanilla, just how she’d always tasted. That flavor had my heart racing since I’d tasted it on her lips last summer when we’d shared our first kiss. Vanilla had become synonymous with Georgia and it made me love her all the more.

Love.

I’d finally admitted it to myself. I’d been afraid to admit that before the proposal, but after, all bets were off. In my mind, anyway. I just needed to get past this parole hearing before I put us on the path to our future. Because the future was ours, our futures were forever entwined. I just had to show her that.

“Come here.” I hauled her out of her chair and plopped her in my lap. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and tucked her head into my neck. My heart skipped a few beats with her wrapped around me, just in the same way she was wrapped around my heart. If this girl left me again, she would crush me.

Completely.

“I love you.” I held her cheeks in my hands and searched her eyes for something that would tell me she felt the same way.