Light in Mourning

30

“Mmm, come back here and warm me up,” I heard Tristan groan as I peeled myself off his body to head for the bathroom.

“I can’t hold it anymore.” I squealed as he pulled me back onto his hard body and skimmed his hands up and down my back and torso.

“So tickling would be a bad idea?” He dug his fingers into my hips and I burst into a fit of giggles, writhing away from him.

“Mercy, God, mercy!”

His fingers slowed their assault, but he still held me to him. I finally quit laughing and looked up into his eyes. They sparkled and hummed with energy, but that heart-stopping smile he usually had when he was teasing me was absent.

“You’re so fucking beautiful in the morning,” he said without an ounce of amusement on his face.

My cheeks flushed at the compliment. “I think you need to have your eyes checked.” I pushed away from him to head for the bathroom.

“Let’s get married,” he blurted.

“You already asked me that and, as I recall, I said yes.” I lifted my hand and spun the ring on my finger.

“No, let’s do it this weekend.”

“You’re serious?” I lifted my eyebrows in surprise.

“As a heart attack. Everyone we love is here. Let’s do it this weekend.”

I furrowed my brow as I considered his words. “I don’t want to rush it.”

“It isn’t a rush; I asked you the first time last winter. I wanted to marry you then and I want to marry you now. Nine months, I’d call that a pretty long engagement.”

“Not really. A lot of people plan a wedding for a year, or even two. Anyway, what about your dad?”

“He’s not really a wedding kind of guy. Come on, let’s do this.”

“Tristan, I told you I’d marry you. Give me time to plan a wedding.”

“You said yes three months ago and you still haven't chosen a date. No wedding planning in sight. Let’s do this, Georgia. Stop fucking around.”

My face dropped in shock. “You think I'm putting you off?” I whispered.

“I don’t know what you’re doing. What I know is you won’t give me a date to be my wife.” He deadpanned. The pain that had crossed his beautiful features last night was back.

“God, I’m not putting you off. I want to marry you. It’s just been so busy this summer, so many things have come up. I just wasn’t sure—”

“If you still wanted to?” His jaw worked back and forth, anger flashing across his stunning features.

I sat there, letting his words sink in, his hands digging into my hips, keeping me positioned on his body. I chewed my bottom lip into my mouth as I held his fiery gaze. I tried to get my thoughts together before I said something I didn’t mean.

“That was not what I was thinking. Now let me up to go the bathroom.” I pulled off his body, his arms falling away from my hips in defeat. I needed a minute to collect my thoughts. I headed for the bathroom and took care of business. Anger boiled in my stomach at his assumptions. I hadn’t put off the wedding planning because I didn’t want to marry him. I didn't think I'd done that anyway. I took a deep breath and tried to see things from his perspective.

He sat up in bed, perched against the headboard, his fingers tapping a rhythm on his sheet-covered thigh when I exited the bathroom.

“Hey . . .” I slid up beside him and curled around his body, pressing my hands against his pecs and placing a sweet kiss on his lips. His eyes softened and his hands came around to envelop me in a calm embrace.

“I want to marry you, Tristan. You put this ring on my finger and that’s it. You’re not getting rid of me, not ever.” I stroked my fingertips along the stubble at his jaw. “But I don’t want to rush this. I’m afraid you’re only saying this right now because you think I'm going to run with the whole Lexi thing, but I’m not—”

“That’s not it. I don’t think you’re going to run because of that. I just . . .” He trailed off and diverted his gaze.

“You just what?” I angled his head back to me to meet my eyes.

“I’m scared. I’m afraid you’re going to run because everyone runs on me. I was good all summer. I kept telling myself you wouldn’t, but I’m afraid this Lexi thing may push you over the edge. And when you needed a girls’ weekend . . . I just remember with Kyle that’s how you started to pull away.” He sucked his beautiful full lip between his teeth. My breath escaped in a soft whisper as I ran my thumb over the sculpted bow of his top lip and tugged his bottom one free.

“I’m not running. I’ll always need a girls’ weekend, and anyway, look how that turned out. Here I am, back in your bed.”

“Our bed.”

“Our bed.” I smiled.

“I want to marry you because I want you to be my wife. Sooner rather than later.” He slid a warm palm around my neck, his thumb working soft circles on my cheekbone.

“Yeah?” Tears sprang to my eyes as I watched the love pouring from him. He had so much love to give. He’d been cheated from his mother’s love when he was little, but the love he held inside him overwhelmed me.

“Yeah.” He brought his lips to mine in a soft kiss, his tongue caressing my lips, letting him once again own my heart.

“Okay.” I pulled away from his lips, a smile lighting my face.

“Okay what?” His emerald green eyes searched my own.

“Okay, let’s get married.”

“This weekend?” His eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“We’ve been engaged long enough. I’m ready to make you mine.” I grinned up at him. A heart-stopping smile lit his face. His teeth were on full display, lips curved up in a brilliant smile.

“God, you’re so fucking beautiful.” He threaded both his hands into my hair and crashed my lips to his. “I’m so fucking ready to tie myself to you forever.”

“Thanks, I think.” I laughed.

“Smart ass.” He flipped me over and took my lips with his again, before moving along to my neck and across my collarbone. He discovered my body with his lips and his hands, skimming, sucking, caressing, and loving and it was the most beautiful wake-up call I’d had with him yet.

“Will you walk me down the aisle, Silas?”

“Georgia . . .” He leaned in and planted a kiss on my cheek. “It would be my honor.” I could see tears swimming in his eyes. “Now let me see you.” He held me at arm’s length to inspect the lace dress that hugged my lean form. “This is way too old-fashioned, we need something sexier.” He swatted me on my ass and I giggled before turning back into the dressing room. Drew, Silas, and I were at a local dress shop. I was forced to buy off the hanger, but I was glad to have a wedding dress at all after Tristan sprang his “let’s get married right now” proposition on me.

The consultant zipped me into a flowing champagne-colored dress. I stepped out of the dressing room and onto the pedestal to take in my reflection in the three-way mirror.

“That’s what I’m talking about. Spin.” Silas turned his finger in circles.

“Oh my God, G.” Drew stood with her hands locked to her lips, tears pooling in her eyes. “It's breathtaking.”

“Really?” I turned in the mirror. “You think he’ll like it?” I took in the short train before my eyes zeroed in on the intricate beadwork on the straps. They came together across my shoulder blades and then connected in a waterfall of lace and beadwork down the center of my spine to the small of my back where they attached to the champagne satin.

“He will be breathless, love.”

“Yeah?” I turned, a smile curling my lips, tears swimming in my eyes as the overwhelming emotion came to the surface. I was marrying Tristan today. My heart thudded in my chest. I was excited, but didn’t have a single second thought. I expected Drew and Silas to second-guess me, but instead they'd squealed and pushed me into the car to get a dress before our evening ceremony.

“Ho Hey by The Lumineers rang through the dress shop and Drew fumbled for her phone. “I have to take this, it’s the officiant. But that’s the dress. He’s going to be hard for you all through the ceremony.” She winked.

“Drew.” I laughed before looking in the mirror again.

“And don't forget we have to swing by the town clerk's office for a marriage license. You're going to be Georgia Howell,” Drew sang, answering her phone.

“She’s right. You're stunning, love.” Silas stepped onto the pedestal with me and wrapped his arms around my waist, setting his chin on my shoulder.

We locked eyes in the mirror. “I love you, Silas. For everything. For being there for me, for being you, for making me laugh, for telling me how it is when I don’t want to hear it.”

“I love you too, Georgia.” He swiped tears from his eyes. “Enough with the sappy shit. We’ve got a wedding to plan.”

“Okay.” I smiled softly. “Silas?”

“Yeah, love?” He turned to look back at me.

“Do you like him?” I whispered, my eyes searching his bright blue ones.

“I love him, Georgia. And more importantly, you love him. I can see it every time you look at him, and every time he looks at you. Even with everything going on, I knew you'd get through it. Do you think I’d let you marry just anyone?”

“No.” I smiled and wiped a tear from my eyes.

“So why the sad face?” My best friend held my cheeks in his palms.

“It's just . . .the way we started . . .” I stopped as more tears slid down my face.

“Hey, hey. Just because you started off ugly, doesn’t mean you can't have a marriage that's just as strong and beautiful as everyone else's. Okay, love?”

I nodded as his words eased the fear in my heart.

“Good. Plus, he’s nice to look at. I don’t mind sharing holidays with that face.”

“Silas, you’re a married man.” I sniffed the last of my tears away.

“You think Justin doesn’t agree with me? We’ve got our list. We get a pass with anyone on our list, and your boy, if he ever goes bi, is on my list.” Silas winked.

“Silas. Fuck, seriously? That’s my future husband.”

“I know.” He shrugged.

“Would you really?” I arched a concerned eyebrow.

“Not for a minute. I’m just teasing you, love. But if I would have gotten hold of him a year ago . . .”

“Oh my God.” I giggled and smacked him on the cheek. “You’ll never change.”

“You wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Not for a second.” I pecked him on the lips.

“Go change. We have to go to the flower shop and then Drew has big plans for us at home.” He passed me a loving smile.

“I need to see her.” I heard Tristan growl from the other side of the door.

“You can’t see her before the wedding,” Drew’s voice replied, anger seething in every word.

“I don’t care. I need to see her.” I heard a scuffle.

“Tristan. You fucking caveman.” I heard a thud and imagined it was Drew’s fist meeting Tristan’s solid chest.

“Babe?” A soft knock hit the door.

“Yeah?” I whispered.

“Can I come in?”

I licked my lips. I knew Drew was going to be pissed. We were less than a half hour away from the ceremony, my hair and makeup were done, and I was trussed up in a backless lace corset and garters, the last step before putting on my dress.

“Just a sec.” I scurried, dress in hand, to hang it in the bathroom before closing the door so he wouldn’t see it. “’Kay,” I whispered as I stood in the middle of the room, waiting for him.

“Georgia,” Drew shrieked. Tristan opened the door, ducking his head in, blond waves falling over his eyes. He was dressed in charcoal slacks and a white shirt, untucked but buttoned, a beautiful grey blue tie hanging loose around his neck.

“Five minutes,” Drew ordered before Tristan shut the door in her face.

“Hey.” His eyes held mine, his gaze hot and fierce. Passion simmered just beneath their emerald depths.

“Hey,” I murmured. His eyes flicked down my body, over the lace hoisting my breasts to my chin, the boning whittling my waist, the scrap of lace panties and the garters attached at my thighs. He inhaled a sharp breath. I pressed my lips together nervously.

“Are you good?” he muttered as he stepped closer, taking my face in both of his hands.

“So good,” I answered, never breaking his intense gaze.

“’Kay.” He pressed his lips to mine in a kiss that meant so much more than just our lips pressed together. It conveyed his longing for me and anxiety that I still might run. I wouldn't run. Truth be told, I was surprised how calm I was. If anything, I was afraid he would cave, decide he wasn't ready after all.

“Are you good?” I pulled away and searched his face. His eyes flicked down to my lips, swollen from his kiss.

“I’m so fucking good.” He pulled me to his lips again. One hand smoothed down my ribcage and held me tight to him at the waist. I snaked a hand around his hips and held him to me.

“I love you,” I murmured as I rested my head on his shoulder and took a hit of my favorite scent. That ocean fresh scent that calmed me, soothed my nerves, made me feel at home.

“I love you too, baby. More and more every day.” He threaded his fingers through the loose waves that trailed over one shoulder. “You look beautiful.” He lifted my head and dusted his nose along mine.

“Thanks.” I closed my eyes and enjoyed this moment before we got married. Our last single moment together. My mind ran through the last year and a half remembering the instant he stepped into the beach house kitchen last summer, and tipped his head at me, his eyes taking me in. Then he'd helped me cook dinner and swiped a blob of paint off my temple. He took my breath away then and he was still doing it now.

“Time’s up.” Drew knocked on the door.

“See you in twenty?” He pulled away from me, worry dancing in his eyes, his full bottom lip sucked between his teeth.

“I’ll be the one in white.” I grinned and traced my thumb along his upper lip before freeing the bottom one from his grasp.

“Can’t wait.” He sighed before leaning down to capture my lips with his own. He held my cheeks firmly in his hands, his thumbs resting on my cheekbones, holding my face while he took my lips, something he’d been doing since the beginning of us. He owned me with that kiss. Possessing me, reassuring me, reassuring himself.

“See you, beautiful.” He pulled away, bringing my hand to his lips and placing a soft kiss on my knuckles.

“See you,” I breathed. His lips turned up in his beautiful, lopsided grin before he turned and whisked out of the room. He past Drew, and she gave him an angry glare. He only winked as he passed her.

“Stubborn bastard,” she murmured before stepping in and heading for the bathroom for my dress. I laughed as butterflies danced in my stomach. He was my stubborn bastard and I loved every single bit of him.