Matthias didn’t sleep. He sat next to Taz in their bed, propped up with several pillows, watching her. Her pain was now his. He couldn’t blame her for what she did any more than he could blame a two-year-old for coloring on the walls. And that guilt was his. Alone.
Before dawn she rolled over in bed, and her hand touched his leg. She stirred, looked up at him, smiled.
He smiled back. “Did you sleep well?”
Taz nodded, stretched, started to speak, and then saw Rafael’s ring on her hand. She looked Matthias in the eye. Her face froze, and then a look of horror washed over her.
“What? Anastazia, what’s wrong?”
She sat up. “You didn’t—you didn’t mark me.”
He didn’t know what to say. He honestly hadn’t expected her to figure it out that soon. He shook his head.
She turned away from him. “Rafe—”
Matthias grabbed her, turned her to face him. “Listen to me. You did not kill Rafael.”
“How can you say that?”
He gently shook her. “You did not kill him. Those creatures killed him.”
“Matthias, he couldn’t keep me out if he tried. He died because of me, what I did.” He felt the curtain of despair settle around her, black and suffocating.
Matthias roughly pulled her to him. He kissed her hard, and she eventually responded. Once he knew he had her attention, he released her. “You did not kill Rafael.”
She started to shake her head. He placed his hands on her cheeks, forcing her to look at him. “I didn’t understand, at first. When you held the demon’s mind for me, I saw what happened to Rafael. He thought it was you coming back, and he welcomed you in. It was someone working with them, I’m still not sure who, and then they took him over. He was in control of his mind when it happened, not you. I didn’t understand everything until you showed me the rest.”
Tears rolled down her face. He felt her mind reaching for his. He opened himself to her, letting her explore, and she saw for herself. And understood.
He put his arms around her, and she collapsed against him. “I’m so sorry, Matthias. I’m so, so sorry. I understand now. I know what you meant.”
“I know you do. I’m sorry you had to learn like this. I tried to make it stop hurting.” He rocked her, stroking her hair, caressing her mind. “Rafe was here, willingly, helping us. He knew the risks.”
“It hurts so bad. I just want it to stop hurting.”
“I know,” he soothed. He had his own grief to deal with, but for the moment her safety and comfort were his priority. “But I won’t force you to love me,” he whispered. “We can get through this together. Our grief will ease, in time. Just let me help you through it. That’s all I ask.”
“How did you stand it when your wife died?”
“I put one foot in front of the other.” He kissed her. “I knew, eventually, would come a day when the hurt would subside enough I would not think about it all the time. And now I have you.”
“You don’t hate me?”
He shook his head. “Over this? Over anything? I could never hate you. This is my fault. I asked you to trust me. Instead of trying to push you, I should have locked you in here with me and spent the days letting you go through my mind so you would understand. You are starting a new life, and it’s my responsibility to teach you everything you need to survive. I have failed you.”
“How did you get past…the power? I—” She felt awkward talking to him, but she felt his mental nudge to go on. “I felt like I didn’t want to stop because of what I could do. The control I had over him.”
“Some don’t. It depends on what is in their heart.”
“What happens to them?”
“The answer is here.” He welcomed her to look in his mind. She did, saw why he didn’t want to talk about it. Even though it was centuries in the past, it was still fresh and horrible in his mind. After just a glance she pulled away, unable to deal with it.
“Do you think you can eventually trust me enough to let me all the way in, Taz?” he asked.
He knew she still held back out of fear. But not out of fear of him.
She trembled. Then he felt her truly open her mental barriers for the first time since she erected them, pulling him in. He didn’t fight her and understood why she felt so frightened.
Taz had only explored part of her mind, her powers. She was terrified of what lay outside the image of the mental room she created in her thoughts, beyond the comfortable boundaries she’d set for herself over the years. Because of that, he’d only accessed a very small part of abilities. Even now, freely open to him, there were still sections walled up and inaccessible. He wondered if she could even reach them. And her grief and pain were much, much deeper, nearly untouchable, because of her guilt and anguish over her actions.
And possibly because of untapped memories she had no idea existed within her soul.
She wasn’t just powerful—she was a force of nature.
Tim had taught her well.
They talked, touched minds, until Tim knocked on their door.
“You understand what you have to do today?” Matthias whispered.
She nodded.
“Can you do it?”
“I have to.”
“I know you don’t want to. I don’t like making you do this.”
She twisted the ring on her finger. He noticed but said nothing. If it comforted her, she should have it. “I have to do it. For him. For Rafe.”
He nodded. “For Rafe.”
“Matthias, I’m sorry.” She knew he’d seen her dinner conversation with Rafe in her memories.
He nodded. “The heart knows what it knows, and the soul always comes home. There are many kinds of love, many reasons for love. I know you love me. And I love you. I don’t begrudge what you felt for him. When we get home we can talk about this. Okay?”
Taz nodded and let him lead her from the cabin.
She noticed the guards were back, and she didn’t ask what they did with Rafe’s body. They ate breakfast in silence. Robertson and Albert rode with them in the Land Rover to Canyon Village. Apparently Matthias had communicated the plan to them already. Before he shut off the engine, he looked at her. “Can you do this?”
She nodded, her mouth set in a grim line. “I want whoever did this to pay.”
Robertson reached over the backseat and touched her shoulder. “We’ll be right there.”
She nodded.
The guards were in the other Land Rover, and they all moved toward the building. She realized she didn’t have her water and asked Matthias for the keys to the Rover. Fortunately, he couldn’t read her mind past the thick barrier she’d already placed. She retrieved a bottle of water and hurried to catch up, pocketing the keys.
The rest of the attendees soon arrived. Matthias somberly greeted them, had them sit at the table. He stood at the far end of the room, with all eyes on him. Taz waited in the private room with Albert and Robertson. When she felt Matthias tap at her conscious, they moved into the conference room.
They didn’t have a chance. Taz closed her eyes, gripped the back of the chair in front of her, and felt the power surge through her. The image she used was a tidal wave, of anger, of anguish, and it was so strong and unexpected the meeting attendees couldn’t react in time. There were no demons in here today, she knew, but she could smell fear.
As she held them, Matthias’ gaze grew cold and hard.
“I apologize for this. There was an attempt on Anastazia’s life yesterday, and my cousin Rafe was killed. This is more than personal, as you can imagine. I know not all of you are involved, and perhaps none of you are. But we have to be sure. If any of you are angry, I can’t blame you, and I will gladly stand and allow you to give me a piece of your mind after. But for now…” He turned to Anastazia.
She felt it, felt the shift as a mind tried to fight her. There was something, someone. Only one. She couldn’t isolate them because she was too busy holding all their barriers down. It took a toll. She felt Robertson’s arm slip around her waist, supporting her.
“It’s okay, Taz,” he whispered in her ear. “That’s my girl. You’re brilliant, sweetheart.”
Albert also hooked his arm through hers. “We’ve got you, dear.”
Matthias walked down the room and started with the man closest to her left, standing over him, looking through his mind. Matthias looked at Taz, shook his head, and she released the man. He leaned back in his chair, eyes closed, shaking. This was repeated several more times, with each release freeing more power, steadying her, calming her. Matthias got to a woman on Taz’s right, three chairs away. Taz watched Matthias frown then move to the next without giving the signal to release her. He finished with the rest and went back to the woman.
She looked like she was in her fifties, with a harsh, pinched face and dark-brown hair pulled back in a severe bun. Her name was Caroline, and she was around four hundred years old. Not as powerful as Matthias or Rafe, but strong.
Matthias stared at Caroline. Then Taz stepped forward and gently pushed him out of her way.
He looked at Taz, shocked. He tried to get her to stop when she looked up at Matthias and shoved him with her mind.
He stumbled backward against the conference-room wall. Now Taz had Caroline, was inside her mind, despite how the woman squirmed to break free. Caroline was frozen in her chair, but her mind twisted and turned like a snake, struggling in vain to keep Anastazia out.
Taz closed her eyes, ignoring the feel of Robertson and Albert’s hands on her arms. She was vaguely aware of shaking them loose, sending them flying against the wall. She felt bad about that, aware it was her mind and not her body doing it, but she had the information she needed.
“Be gentle with them, Taz baby. They love you. Please don’t hurt them.”
The phantom voice. She didn’t know if it was her conscience or not, but she had to follow through with this.
For Rafe. For both of them.
She saw the plan, the payment from the Others for Caroline to deliver Anastazia to them for research. Or, failing that, certain parts of her on dry ice. Caroline only knew as much as they told her, which wasn’t much more than Matthias already knew from his investigation. She’d met with them in New York, on Long Island, in a private mansion, after their first and second attacks failed. But it wasn’t their compound. It was rented, so no help there.
Caroline hired the daemon pulverem and spied on Taz and Rafael that afternoon and evening, saw the kiss, saw them talking at dinner, took him as a way to get to Taz. Caroline was afraid of Matthias, and even more afraid of Taz.
Anastazia glared at her. “You have every reason to fear me, you bitch.”
Taz ignored Matthias and Robertson’s efforts to talk to her, gently pushing them and Albert out of her way with her mind. The other people cowered, awed and afraid, at the far end of the conference room. Anastazia ordered Caroline to stand. Like a robot, she did. Taz marched her to the doorway and looked at the other nine.
“I have no problems with any of you. Matthias told me perhaps the best way to keep people from bothering me was to scare everyone. Well pass the word—don’t fuck with me, or those I love. Especially those I love. She murdered Rafe, and she’s going to pay.”
Taz started to walk out with Caroline when Matthias called to her, pleading. “Anastazia, please don’t. Let us take care of her. You don’t want to do this.”
She turned, and he shrank from her. Part of Taz wanted to cry that even he was scared of her. He was her lover, her soul mate. But this was her mess to clean up, for her, for him, and most importantly, for Rafe.
“I’m sorry, Matthias, but I need to take care of this. I caused it, and I’ll finish it. Come on,” she said to Caroline, walking to the Land Rover.
The woman was silent, unable to talk, every bit of conscious effort struggling to break free from Anastazia’s mental grip. Taz unlocked the Land Rover and started it, waited for the woman to get inside, and roared out of the lot.
Only then did she release the others. Matthias, Albert, and Robertson bolted for the parking lot. “We have to stop her,” Matthias said.
“We can’t,” Robertson said. “She’s too strong. She’s going to kill Caroline.”
“I can’t let her do that,” Matthias said. “It’ll destroy her.”
“I don’t know if you can do anything about it,” Robertson said.
“We have to.” Matthias got the keys from Moe and told him to keep everyone there until they returned. They left, and he paused at the intersection. South or west?
He reached out to Taz. “My love, please tell me where you are.”
Taz felt Matthias in her mind and was afraid to respond for fear of hurting him. It took every ounce of control she had to keep Caroline immobilized while driving. Caroline was beating against Anastazia’s hold on her mind, struggling to get free.
Taz flashed him a mental image that made him shudder, but told him exactly where she was going.
And what she was going to do.
He floored the Rover, heading south.
“Where?” Robertson said.
His mouth was set in a grim line. “West Thumb Geyser Basin.”