Love You Dead

35 Sunday 1 March

‘A friend of mine told me, many years ago, that the secret of life is to know when it’s good,’ Rowley Carmichael said, his arm tightly round Jodie’s waist, wind whipping their hair about their faces. ‘And right now it’s really good. Incredibly good.’

She stared up into his eyes, her own sparkling brightly in the stern lights of the ship. As brightly as the stars above them, like gemstones in the velvety darkness of the warm night sky; like the diamond engagement ring on the black velvet pad of the ship’s jewellery store that he had bought her just a few hours earlier, the price of which she had pretended not to notice. Although she was already thinking of a couple of shops in Brighton’s Lanes where she would get a good price for it in a few weeks’ time. ‘I know it’s corny, my darling, but I feel like that couple on the Titanic — remember that film?’

‘Jack and Rose, weren’t they called?’ he said.

She nodded. ‘Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet.’

‘Weren’t they on the prow of the ship?’ he said.

‘Want to go up to the prow?’

‘Here’s fine!’ Smiling, he raised his flute of vintage Roederer Cristal and clinked it against hers. ‘Cheers, my darling. To the future unsinkable Mrs Rowley Carmichael!’

‘Cheers to my unsinkable husband-to-be!’ she said, sipping her drink, then standing on tiptoe to kiss him. A long, long, lingering kiss as they both leaned against the stern rail, whilst she struggled not to let her revulsion show. His mouth was slimy, and his tongue felt like a foraging rodent running amok inside her own mouth. Fifty feet below them the wake of the ship glistened with phosphorescence before fading into the darkness of the Indian Ocean.

‘I still can’t believe you agreed to marry me,’ he said. ‘Incredible! We’ve only known each other properly for a few days.’

‘I still can’t believe you asked me,’ she replied with a smile.

‘I couldn’t be happier, it wouldn’t be possible,’ he said.

Looking adoringly into his eyes, she was thinking that she could, she could be much happier. ‘Wouldn’t it be romantic to be married on this ship?’ she said.

‘On this ship — you mean — on board?’

She nodded enthusiastically. ‘Yes! Wouldn’t that be amazing? Just so romantic? I read somewhere that ship’s captains can marry people!’

‘I love your wildness,’ he said. ‘How spontaneous you are! This is crazy! OK, let’s do it, let’s go and find the Purser and ask him the procedure!’

‘God, I love you so much,’ she said. ‘I just love looking at you!’ But as she continued staring at him she suddenly realized who it was he reminded her of. That faint flash of recognition she’d had on their first date.

Her father.

Below her feet she could feel the slight thrumming of the engines. She breathed in the scents, of varnish, fresh paint, the salty tang of the sea and the occasional whiff of diesel fumes. It was their first night at sea. The first port of call for the MS Organza, after departing her moorings in Dubai’s Port Rashid cruise terminal earlier that morning, was Mumbai in three days’ time. She was a handsome ship, resplendent in her gleaming white livery, barely one year old, carrying 350 passengers and from the sharp service, it felt there was double that number of crew. Rollo had already booked a four-week leg of a round-the-world cruise on the ship before they had met. It hadn’t taken much persuading for her to join him.

She’d gone home in the early hours of Friday morning to pack her bags for the cruise, and then had taken her cat to board again at Coriecollies Kennels. Tyson hadn’t been too happy about that, but then again, he was never too happy about anything. He’d get over it, and she’d make it up to him on her return. She’d also set up the timed feeds for the rest of her menagerie.

Their cabin was a glorious suite, with a balcony.

‘Did you remember to take your insulin, my love?’ she asked.

He patted the pocket of his white tuxedo, then pulled out the blue NovoRapid injector. ‘Yep!’ He put it carefully back in his pocket.

‘You gave me such a scare the other night. I thought I had lost you — before I’d even properly got to know you. What do you remember about it?’

‘Well, not much. It was a blur. That happens if my sugar levels get too low, I’m not able to think straight and then I pass out. It was my fault, I thought we were going to have some dinner, so I’d taken my jab and pill. Then somehow we never got as far as the door.’

She grinned. ‘So it was my fault, really! I just couldn’t keep my hands off you. I couldn’t wait until after dinner, I had to have you, then and there. Right there! But, Jesus, I got so scared when you collapsed on me. The paramedics were really concerned when they arrived, you were delirious. Then I got really angry with you when you refused to let them take you to hospital.’

‘I just needed sugar. I was fine. God, the thought of dying and losing you when we’ve only just met...’

She reached up and kissed him. ‘Don’t ever do that to me again, promise?’

‘I think I learned my lesson.’

‘Which is?’

‘That when we’re in the bedroom together it’s impossible to keep my hands off you.’

‘Don’t ever let that change!’

‘I won’t.’ He caressed her hair, running his fingers through her ringlets.

‘Good!’

‘You know, I still can’t believe we met. I mean, we have so many things in common. Our love of art, opera, theatre, food, wine — and travel. Do you believe in soulmates, my darling?’ he asked.

‘I didn’t, until I met you. But that’s how you make me feel.’

‘Me too! I think we met before, in a previous life, and now we’ve found each other again.’

‘It’s how I feel, exactly,’ she lied, sweetly.