Love You Dead

86 Wednesday 11 March

Jodie Carmichael, returning home in light drizzle from a trip to the Asda superstore at Brighton Marina, turned into her driveway and clicked the remote button to open her double-garage door. She reversed her blue convertible Mercedes in, clicked the remote to close the door behind her, then climbed out of the car. She removed her bags from the boot and let herself into the house through the internal door.

As she laid out the bags on the kitchen table, her mobile phone rang. She saw the name of the funeral directors, P & S Gallagher, appear.

She hesitated for a moment, then putting on her grief-stricken voice, she answered. ‘Hello?’

It was the very charming boss of the firm. ‘Mrs Carmichael, it’s Mr Gallagher, how are you?’

‘Oh, you know, bearing up, I guess.’

‘Good,’ he said. ‘I’m pleased to hear it. I’m afraid I’ve got some rather frustrating news — the Coroner still hasn’t released the body. And I’ve also had a call from Mr Carmichael’s son who wants to engage the services of another pathologist to conduct a second post-mortem.’

‘Bloody hell!’ she said, furious. ‘My darling husband died at the start of our honeymoon. Doesn’t he think I’ve suffered enough? And he’s been embalmed — what the hell does he think another post-mortem’s going to achieve? I’m his wife! Don’t my wishes count?’

‘Well, there is another complication,’ he continued. ‘The police have also informed us that further enquiries are taking place, so I’m afraid our hands are tied.’

‘My poor Rollo has to suffer the indignity of a mortuary fridge while everyone squabbles over his body, is that what you’re saying, Mr Gallagher?’

‘Not at all, Mrs Carmichael. They just need to establish beyond any doubt the cause of your husband’s tragic death.’

‘He was killed by a fucking snake bite, right? By a saw-scaled viper. The Coroner in Goa certified that. What else do they bloody need?’

‘I’m sure it will all be sorted very quickly,’ he said in a soothing voice. ‘I’ll do my best to get all of this resolved, and your husband’s body released to us, just as soon as possible.’

When she hung up, Jodie sat, wondering what Gallagher had meant by ‘enquiries’. What were the police sniffing around for? She made herself a coffee and switched on her computer. One thing was becoming certain, she would have a fight with Rowley’s family on her hands. At the end of the day she would get some of the inheritance. But from the way Rowley’s family already seemed to be heading for a legal battle, it could be a long way down the line. It certainly wasn’t likely to be the jackpot that she’d hoped for, which still seemed to be eluding her.

That was out there somewhere.

She needed to be more selective, she decided, as she started to trawl through the various replies to the advertisements she had placed on dating sites for the rich.

www.sugardaddies.com

www.seekingmillionaire.com

www.millionairematch.com

www.daterichmen.com

And a whole ton more. But she dismissed all the replies she saw waiting for her. She’d learned, through experience of dating dozens of them, how to spot the ones that were only out for affairs. And she didn’t just want someone wealthy. She wanted someone who was super-rich. Would she find him on a website, or in one of the playgrounds of the rich?

She remembered something her beautiful childhood friend, Emira, had once said to her, that had been at the same time disparaging and consoling. ‘Don’t worry, one day you’ll find Mr Right. There’s someone out there for everyone.’

Maybe she’d been too hasty recently. She just needed to bide her time.

She went upstairs, pressed the remote to open the sliding wall then peered through the glass door, into her reptile room, checking as she always did that nothing had escaped. She went in and over to the vivarium containing the nine-foot boa constrictor she called Silas.

A smile broke out on her face as she saw what lay on the floor of the toughened glass container.