Makeovers Can Be Murder

Chapter 42

The moment I saw Mad Dog and the huge gun, everything downshifted into slow motion. I knew in my gut that he′d burst into Trish′s house to spray the room with bullets. He meant to kill everyone inside.

Seven feet. Optimal distance. The DVD instructions for the stun gun replayed through my head as if I were watching them. All I could do was see Mad Dog and his gun and calculate what I needed to do. The Taser in my hand. Seven feet away from the target.

I stepped toward Mad Dog… released the safety latch.

Bullets from Mad Dog′s semiautomatic gun began tearing into Trish′s walls. There were sounds of glass breaking. Evelyn screaming.

I aimed the red laser dots at the middle of Mad Dog′s chest. I remember he was wearing a white T-shirt that had a green can of beer on it.

For one split second, Mad Dog seemed to pause as he registered the zebra stripes on my stun gun. I thought I saw his lips curl.

That′s when I fired.

The probes went zinging into the beer can on Mad Dog′s T. He let out a grunt of pain, then doubled over and collapsed.

Mad Dog writhed around on the rug, like the dog that got French-fried at Pompeii.

I kicked away the AK-47. Then I picked it up, just to make sure that Chaz didn′t get any sudden bright ideas.

Miraculously, no one had been hit. Evelyn and Trish had pounced on Mad Dog. They were pounding him on the head. Chaz was crouched behind the settee. Coward.

I could see a flicker of blue lights. They were strobing in from somewhere outside. It was a rescue posse.

″So how did the cops know to come to that house last night?″

It was the next night. Medina was all ears as I recounted my encounter with Mad Dog at Trish′s house.

We were sitting next to each other on my couch with the television tuned to channel twelve, waiting to watch the first installment of my weight-loss series. After that we were planning to celebrate by going someplace incredibly fattening for dinner. Medina had just finished meeting Elfie for the first time. And I think the introduction had gone pretty well. Elfie had extended her paw to him, which in cat body language means you′re in.

″It was the homicide cops who showed up at the house,″ I said. ″Fish and I had both left messages about Chaz Putnam for them. They came over to question him, right at the moment that Mad Dog Carver decided to take care of his ′exposure′ on Jana′s murder and the robbery scheme by killing Chaz, and anyone else who happened to be there.″

″So this Mad Dog character and the Chaz kid were in cahoots?″

″Yes, but Chaz wasn′t counting on the murders. When that started, evidently he tried to get out, but Mad Dog wouldn′t let him. He shot Jana, and before that Anaïs Loring, the cops told me last night. And I′m sure we′ll find out that he was the one who tried to break into my place.″

″Wow. Your life is so exciting,″ Medina said. ″I just hope I can keep up. But what ever happened to Jana′s autopsy results? You told me that her heart valve had been stolen by someone. Have they found out who did it?″

″There′s your answer,″ I said, pointing at the television. Channel Twelve News was showing a technician being escorted into the county jail.

″The detectives had the wrong killer in Jana′s case, but at least they tracked down the sleaze bag who tried to sell her heart valve,″ I said. ″For a while, I even mistakenly thought you might have been involved with that.″

″Me?″

I told Medina that Fish had turned up a check made out to Sateesh Kumar, signed by Medina.

″There′s a Sateesh Kumar who is an international organ smuggler, but I realized it couldn′t be the same guy you wrote the check to,″ I said. ″Who is the Sateesh you wrote the check to, by the way?″

″My periodontist. He′s a heck of a nice guy, by the way. Does excellent root canals.″

″Sateesh Kumar is your periodontist? That′s too funny.″

Glancing at the TV again, I added, ″Oops, my weight-loss story is coming on now. I′m not sure I want to watch this.″

″Well, I do.″

The first installment of my fat-scam series flashed across the screen. I tensed for Medina′s reaction to the ″money shot″ of my torso in a bikini being shrink-wrapped by Yolanda the Russian. But then I remembered that he′d already seen me naked during the laser treatment and still was attracted to me. So there you had it.

Medina looked from the screen to me on the couch. ″I don′t know why you were so nervous about this story,″ he said. ″You look amazing.″

Reaching into his pocket, he said, ″Here, I want to show you something.″

He handed me a white cardboard envelope. Inside was a souvenir photograph. It showed Medina and me in the canoe at Harmony Pond.

I was smiling up at the camera. But in the photo Medina was looking at me. He had an expression in his eyes that I absolutely loved. He was looking at me like he wanted to rip all my clothes off and do me right then and there. Right in front of the ducks.

″Is it okay if I hang on to this photograph?″ I asked him.

″Of course,″ he replied. ″We′re going to have lots more like these. With any luck, we′ll have albums.″

Oh, yes.