Makeovers Can Be Murder

Chapter 3

An hour later I was huddled deep in the recesses of a corner booth at Becca′s Bistro, still waiting for Jana to show. She′d called to say she was running late because her appointment with the plastic surgeon had run into overtime.

I was hiding my face behind an oversized leather menu, trying to avoid landing on the radar of reporter Lainey Lanston. I′d spotted my newsroom rival on my way into the main dining room. Her perfectly tailored back was turned to me, and she was engaged in a schmoozefest with a city councilman named Floyd McElroy.

Floyd was beloved by local reporters for his habit of leaking city hall gossip like a cracked gin bottle the moment he started his daily drinking ritual. And from the glow of the red moons waxing in his cheeks, I could tell that Floyd was already two fizzy gimlets to the wind.

The sight of them dining together filled me with dread. I wondered what kind of information Lainey was pumping from the councilman. I′d been planning to track down Floyd myself this morning, to discuss a lead I′d developed about the head of the city′s animal control department who′d gotten caught up in a sex scandal. I′d held off calling him in order to shop for the goddamn bikini story and make my lunch with Jana.

Maybe Lainey had already gotten wind of the animal house allegations. Recently it felt as if she was shadowing my news sources-she′d even snatched a couple of major stories out from under me. If I was losing my edge, I might soon find myself replaced by Beatty′s newest newsroom pet. What exactly would I do if I got canned? There wasn′t another TV station in town-I′d have to move. What would that mean for my relationship with Jonathan? We′d never had a conversation about where we were going as a couple. Maybe that had been a mistake.

Jana appeared at the entrance to the dining room. ″Hi, Kate!″ she called out in a voice loud enough to soar above the din of the dining room.

She made a clacking trek across the stone floor in a pair of white slides and matching Bermudas. Behind her coppery bangs, her hair was sleeked back into in a low, short ponytail.

I peeked over the top of the menu to give her a smile and half wave, then sank back down to stay out of Lainey′s line of sight-I could just imagine her smug expression if she spotted me having a civilian lunch with a friend while she was working a news source.

″Phew-that was totally depressing,″ Jana said, sliding into the upholstered booth opposite me. ″I just had my ′before′ pictures taken at Dr. Medina′s office for my body lift. Thank God no one else ever sees those shots.″

I stared at my slender friend in disbelief. ″Why are you even thinking about having more plastic surgery, Jana? Those Bermudas are what, a size one? Your calves are like pencils. You look absolutely perfect.″

Her mouth corkscrewed down on one side. ″These shorts don′t show it, but I have tons of loose skin on my upper thighs,″ she said. ″I lost over a hundred pounds on the Fruit Diet, remember? Everything′s hanging now, especially my breasts. Just ask Gavin-I′m sure he′ll be delighted to tell you how disgusting I look naked.″

″I′m sure Gavin doesn′t think you′re-″

Jana′s face froze as a busboy brought us two glasses of ice water. When he withdrew, she shook her head firmly. ″Our marriage is over, Kate,″ she said. ″When he′s not at the track, Gavin spends all his time on the computer. I found his password-I have to admit I was looking for it-and discovered a bunch of e-mails he sent to a girlfriend. Her name is Candy. Candy, can you believe that? How revolting. And here′s the worst-he sent her naked videos of himself.″

″Oh God.″

″I gather she′s not the first one, either. He told her how totally repulsed he is by the sight of me. He said my body looks like a Michelin tire woman that got the air let out.″ Squeezing her eyes shut, she turned her face toward the wall.

″Oh, Jana.″ Laying aside the menu, I reached across the table for her hand. ″I′m so sorry.″

Jana stared down at my hand on hers. ″I really thought Gavin loved me,″ she whispered. ″Peo ple were too polite to say it to my face, but I know everyone thought he was after my money. The only one brave enough to say it out loud was Shaina. She said she′d seen him with someone else while we were dating. That′s why she wouldn′t come to the wedding. I thought she was just jealous and trying to break us up.″

Jana buried her head in her hands, then looked up at me. ″How could I have been such an idiot? I was completely in thrall to him. Oh my God, Kate, the sex we had at the beginning was incredible. Actually it′s still pretty good. It was never like that before with anyone else. How can a man fake that?″

″Don′t put the blame on yourself. Love can make us blind.″ Ugh. Why do love-gone-wrong conversations always come off sounding like song titles? I wondered.

After a short silence, Jana said slowly, ″You know what really bothers me? Gavin′s online ID. I found him listed on a couple of those dating sites-he calls himself Shug, for ′sugar.′ That was my pet name for him when we first met.″

″What a bastard,″ I replied. ″Of course, I′ll retract that statement immediately if the two of you get back together.″

She gave me a wan smile. ″No chance in hell of that happening,″ she said. ″Right now, I just want to strangle him.″

Before I could respond, a tall waitress dressed all in black arrived at the table to take our order. I ordered a grilled chicken salad, Jana the spinach quiche.

When we were alone again, Jana said, ″One more thing, Kate.″

″Shoot.″

″I′m pretty sure Gavin′s been stealing money from me.″

″Stealing?″ Yikes. ″How much?″

″About thirty thousand dollars is missing from one of our bank accounts. When I confronted him about it two days ago, he refused to discuss it. He knows I′m angry about it. Since then he′s gone crazy with our credit cards. He′s run up about fifty thousand dollars in cash advances. I just shut down all the credit cards a couple of hours ago.″

Taking a deep breath, I said, ″Jana, I think you need to consult a lawyer, not just me. Does your family have lawyers you can call?″

″No!″ Jana shrank back from the table. ″I can′t tell anyone in Miami about my situation yet. If I tell my family′s lawyers, it′ll get right back to my brother, Belmont. I′m afraid he′ll do something drastic.″

″Like what?″

″I don′t know. Belmont controls our family business, and he already thinks I′m immature about men. I don′t even know what he could do, frankly. I just want to handle this divorce by myself, at least the initial stages. I′ve already acted enough like a fool.″

I wasn′t sure that ″handling″ a cheating, thieving spouse all by herself would make her seem any less foolish in her brother′s eyes. But I would do whatever I could to help my friend.

After pausing for a moment to consider whether it would be wise to unleash a caveman on my genteel friend, I said, ″I do know a guy who might be able to help. He′s a former cop named Beau Fisher. Everyone just calls him Fish. He used to be on the Durham bunco squad.″

″Bunco squad? What′s that?″

″They bust confidence swindlers,″ I said, extracting my cell phone from my pocket to look up Fish′s number.

″Confidence? That′s perfect. Gavin swindled my trust in him big-time.″

Tapping Fish′s number into her own phone, Jana continued, ″I′ll call this guy Fish as soon as we finish lunch. I want to have the wheels in motion before I go back to Miami.″

Sensing a shadow near my left elbow, I looked up. Standing next to me was the person I′d been trying desperately to avoid: Lainey Lanston.

″Well, hello there, Kate.″ The reporter′s caustic voice cut through the air and landed with a rattle against my eardrum. ″Working hard, or hardly working?″

″Hi, Lainey,″ I said, not bothering not to roll my eyes. I looked over her shoulder for Floyd the councilman, but there was no sign of him. He′d probably drifted into the bar in search of an early-bird drinking buddy.

″The whole newsroom is buzzing about your new fat-scam series,″ Lainey said to me, then shifted her gaze to Jana. ″We′re just dying to see Kate in her swimsuit segment. Did she tell you about it?″

If I′d had any kind of segment in my hand right then, I′d have shoved it right up her mini-sized ass, which right then was encased in a ruffled, ruby red skirt topped by a jacket that was cut low enough to show plenty of cleavage. Look at me; I′m so fine, her outfit screamed.

″Well, stay tuned-it′ll be worth waiting for,″ I said, stretching my lips wide enough to show plenty of teeth.

When I let a long moment pass without introducing her to Jana, Lainey′s eyes narrowed.

″Well, I′ve got to go work on my county hospital piece,″ she said, checking in with the pager she had clipped to the outside of her patent leather tote bag. ″Beatty just assigned it to me. Did you know? I guess you′ve been too busy. Enjoy your lunch, ladies.″ Without waiting for a response, she spun about on a spiked heel.

As Lainey marched away, Jana raised her eyebrows at me. ″Was that a friend of yours?″ she asked with a smile.

″Not even when she′s pretending. Which she wasn′t just then.″

″Well, her boobage is really hideous. She should have gone to Dr. Medina for her breast implants.″

″I thought Lainey′s figure had changed since she switched from newspapers to TV,″ I said, suddenly wishing I′d studied her cleavage more closely. ″But how could you tell she had implants? ″

″You can always tell a cheap boob job by the mile-wide cleavage,″ Jana said. ″Those saline sacs will be sliding down to her belly button by the end of the first year.″

″Ah.″

I tried to console myself with visions of Lainey being stuck with a boob job gone wrong, but her parting shot about taking over the county hospital story had left a smoking hole in my stomach. I′d just assumed the story was mine-a stupid assumption now that she was dogging my heels day and night. I′d already looked into charges that the hospital was dumping homeless people on skid row. It was going to be a huge story. Her huge story now.

Obviously Lainey had taken the lead on the fast track. She′d always been my major competitor for stories even when she′d worked in print. But things were worse now that she was digging her little stiletto heels into my home turf. Now she was more than just my competition. Now she was a threat to my job.

When the waitress came with our check, Jana mentioned that she′d lost her purse the night before.

″Can you believe this, Kate?″ she said. ″I feel just like one of those rich jerks who invites people out for lunch and then doesn′t pay. I′m sorry.″

″Don′t be silly.″

″Do you remember me having my purse at Trish′s house? I thought I brought it there, but I didn′t have it at the Hilton when I got back last night.″

″Let′s see,″ I said, trying to dig up a memory. ″Did it have a woven metallic finish? Bronze colored?″

″Right! My Miu Miu bag-I thought I′d brought it in there with me last night,″ she said. ″Okay, so I left it at Trish′s house. No wonder; I was so distracted about seeing Shaina. Phew! I′ll leave her another message, but I think she and Archer are leaving town. Maybe their son is still there. What′s his name? D′you know?″

″Chaz, I think.″

″That′s right. Chaz must have answered when I called their house this morning. But when I mentioned my purse he just grunted and hung up.″

″No surprise there,″ I said. ″He′s probably still out of it. I smelled pot on him last night. It was pretty strong.″

″Uh-oh. I don′t think Trish knows anything about that,″ Jana said. ″But then, she′s such a Gidget, she might thinks it′s incense. According to her, the boy′s highly gifted with computers, but a little low on the social IQ.″

″Well, last night he would′ve scored high on a drug test,″ I said, reaching for the check.