Medicus

59

"Here you are!" declared Valens, settling himself on the wooden lid of the row opposite Ruso in the hospital latrine. "I'll tell them I haven't seen you."

"Who?"

"Apparently the second spear wants your balls roasted on a spit."

Ruso washed the sponge out in the water-channel, shook it, and tossed it back into the bowl. "Any particular reason?"

"Seems he spent a whole afternoon looking for a kidnapped girl."

Ruso pulled his tunic straight and adjusted his belt. "Good. So what's the problem?"

"The problem, Ruso, is that when they found her she insisted she wasn't kidnapped at all."

Before he could reply, an orderly appeared in the doorway and exclaimed, "There you are, sir!" as if he too thought Ruso had reason to hide.

Ruso sighed and waited for what he knew must be coming. But instead of an urgent summons to report to the second spear, he was told there was a veteran waiting to see him at the east gate.

"Tell them to take a message," said Ruso.

"They said he wants to see you personally, sir."

"I'm busy. If he wants to see me he'll have to come back after the tenth hour."

The orderly disappeared. Ruso dipped his hands in the basin, shook off the water, and headed for the surgery.

Albanus handed him the record for the first patient and returned to perch on his stool by the door. Ruso surveyed the notes from the recruiting panel. Under "Lucius Eprius Saenus, age twenty, height five feet eight inches, medium build, distinguishing features, scar on left temple," the scribe of the recruiting panel had written: "general physique satisfactory, eyesight good, hearing good, teeth-three missing in upper jaw, two in lower, genitals normal, no sign of disease, feet not flat." The examining doctors at the recruitment panel had already done most of the work. Ruso's job was merely to prod Lucius Eprius Saenus in places he didn't wish to be prodded again, look at places he still wouldn't want looked at, and generally confirm that his health had not deteriorated since he had been confirmed fit to join the army. This performance would have to be repeated for the other twenty-two stubble-headed recruits lined up on the benches in the hall, all of whom would resent him by the end of the afternoon, but not as much as they would loathe and dread their centurions by the end of the week. Almost as much, in fact, as Ruso was dreading his next encounter with the second spear.

"Right," said Ruso, opening his case and extracting a tongue depressor. "Let's get started."

Albanus leaned out the door and said something to someone. An orderly who was evidently afraid the recruits had gone deaf bellowed,

"FIRST MAN TO SEE THE DOCTOR!"

A pale and skinny youth in a loincloth appeared in the doorway and stood to attention.

"Come in," suggested Ruso. "I can't see much of you from out there."

The youth entered and stood to attention before the desk. His flesh was goosepimpled. His eyes roved over the array of instruments in Ruso's case.

"Lucius Eprius Saenus," said Ruso, closing the case. "Strip."

The youth looked at him as if he didn't understand the instruction.

Ruso gestured toward the loincloth. "The army needs to see all of you, Saenus."

"Yes, sir," agreed the youth, not moving.

"That's an order."

"Yes, sir."

"Well, what are you waiting for?"

The youth swallowed. "I'm not Lucius Eprius Saenus, sir."

Ruso glanced at Albanus. "You're not?"

"No, sir."

"Well why didn't you say that in the first place?"

"You didn't ask."

Ruso got to his feet and walked in a slow circle around the youth, who was clearly a couple of inches short of five feet eight. There was no sign of a scar on the temple. "Who are you, then?"

"Quintus Antonius Vindex, sir."

Albanus bent down and began to scrabble through the records box.

"Quintus Antonius Vindex," continued Ruso, "have you ever heard the expression, rhetorical question?"

"No, sir."

"No. Well, the correct answer to Why didn't you say so in the first place? was, Sorry, sir."

"Yes, sir. Sorry, sir."

Albanus had given up scrabbling and was now kneeling in front of the box, pulling the records out and heaping them onto the floor.

"Go and find Saenus," Ruso suggested to the youth. "I'll call you in when I'm ready."

They must have realized the mistake outside, because Ruso was still returning to his seat when the next man entered.

"Lucius Eprius Saenus?" inquired Ruso, rereading the description carefully and taking no chances this time.

"Do I look like it?" demanded a familiar voice.

Albanus leaped to his feet with the eagerness of a man seeing a chance to redeem himself. "You can't come in here!" he cried. "The doctor's busy!"

"I can go where I like 'round here, mate," retorted Bassus. "Know a lot of people, don't I?"

"It's all right," Ruso reassured Albanus, who had sized up Bassus and was moving toward the door to call for reinforcements. "Go and find Saenus, will you? I'll be back in a minute."

Safely beyond the front door of the hospital and overhearing ears, he turned to Bassus. "So you're the veteran who wants to see me. What's going on?"

Bassus frowned. "I come here to ask you that. We've had investigators crawling all over the bar like cockroaches and now I'm having to trail over to HQ with a bunch of slave documents. And what I'm wondering is, who was it told them they might find something?"

Ruso took a careful breath. He could feel his heart pounding. "Are you telling me," he said, "that you have the official ownership documents for that new girl?"

"I was right, then. I thought it was you. 'Course we have. Merula just couldn't find them this morning, what with the girls screaming and lads crashing around all over the place."

Ruso got to his feet and said quietly, "I owe Merula an apology."

"I wouldn't go near her right now, mate. Keep your mouth shut and stay out of the way. That's what I come to tell you."

"Thank you," said Ruso, not entirely sure why Bassus seemed to be defending him. "I will."

"Next time you got any problems, Doc, you talk to me first. We're business partners. Right?"

Ruso scratched his ear. "I seem to have been misinformed."

"That's what I thought," said Bassus.

"I'll see to it that my informant is dealt with."

"Bloody women," sympathized Bassus. "Always stirring things up.

You can't believe a word they say. People think I'm hard on 'em, but they don't have to put up with it like I do."

Ruso nodded. There seemed to be nothing he could add.