Melancholy Baby

57

Rosie had had her walk and her breakfast. I was drinking coffee and painting when Sarah woke up on the couch.

“You still painting that building?” she said.

“South Station,” I said.

“Why do you want to paint buildings and stuff?”

“I like how they look,” I said.

“If I was a painter, I’d want to paint flowers and lakes and stuff. Stuff that looked nice.”

I said, “Um-hmm.”

Sarah sat up. Rosie came over and sniffed her ankle. Sarah patted her.

“I’m on my own,” Sarah said.

I stopped painting. “You are?” I said.

“I don’t have any parents. I don’t have a boyfriend. I’m on my own.”

“You have me,” I said.

“I know. But it’s not the same.”

“No,” I said. “It isn’t.”

“My tuition and room and board are paid for the rest of this semester,” Sarah said.

I nodded.

“I’m going back there.”

“To Taft?”

“Yes. I might as well get used to being on my own. I can’t live on your couch forever. Pretty soon I’ll have to get a job.”

“You could probably work for Spike,” I said.

“As what?”

“That would be up to him. Can you tend bar?”

“Not really.”

“You might learn,” I said. “Do you have any money?”

“I have two quarters,” she said. “But I can sleep and eat at the college.”

“I’ve got a hundred dollars you can have,” I said. “When it’s gone, maybe we can find some more. Just until you get on your feet.”

“I shouldn’t.”

“You should. We’re friends. Friends help each other out.”

Sarah laughed sadly. “I hired you,” she said. “And I can’t even pay you anymore. And now you’re paying me.”

“We’re too far into this,” I said. “I can’t put it down. My accountant will find a way to deduct it.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” I said. “When you’re ready to go, I’ll drive you.”

“You’ll be glad to get rid of me.”

“I’ll be glad to live just Rosie and me again,” I said. “That’s not the same thing as being glad to get rid of you.”

“Close enough,” Sarah said.

“No. Of course, I like to live my life as I am used to it. No one really loves a permanent houseguest on the couch. But I’m glad you had a place to come when you needed to, and if you need to again, the couch is still here.”

“Thank you. Do you like to live alone?”

“Yes and no,” I said.

“What’s that mean?” Sarah said.

I smiled at her.

“Yes and no,” I said.