Memoir of a Russian Punk

9

He just couldn't get it up. Nothing Eddie-baby did to his penis, pulling it and stretching it, trying to make it hard and strong, had any effect; it still remained a soft, rubbery tube. Eddie-baby even left the bedroom to talk things over with Sashka Tishchenko, but only for a moment, only for a little while, since he was afraid that one of the kids might come into the dark room with the doll-like body of Svetka gleaming white on the bed, and who knows, maybe that kid's penis would stand up for her.

Sashka Tishchenko advised Eddie to "beat off." But Eddie himself already knew that he needed to move his penis with his hand, which was in fact what he had been doing for the last half-hour in Sashka's parents' bedroom, turned away from Svetka and her hips and stomach.

Then Svetka regained consciousness, and Eddie-baby started thinking about the best way to kill himself. Because he simply could not endure the disgrace, the terrible blow to his masculine pride.

As he was thinking about how to kill himself while writhing in a corner of the bed at Svetka's feet, Svetka got up, shook herself off, and fiddling around somewhere behind Eddie, put her panties back on, straightened her dress, and then sat down next to him. He had the feeling that she had not been as totally unconscious as he had thought, and from even greater shame he hid his face completely, covering it with his hand.

"Cut it out," said Svetka. "So it didn't work out today. It will some other time. Big deal!"

"I don't want to live anymore!" Eddie-baby said dully.

"You jerk!" Svetka said. "I love you. You're better than all the other kids." And Svetka kissed Eddie's ear, although a bit clumsily, since she wanted to kiss him on the cheek but he moved and she had to kiss him on the ear.

It's not clear what would have happened next had they been alone in the apartment. It's even possible Eddie would have humped Svetka; after all, he didn't really believe that he was impotent, that he was someone who couldn't have an erection. Every morning when Eddie woke up he discovered that his penis was erect, even when he hadn't dreamed of the madwoman Tonka the night before. But they weren't alone in the apartment, and at that instant both Katka, who for some reason is called Kitty, although she doesn't look at all like a cat, and Ritka, who goes with Garik the Morphine Addict, came into the room and asked Svetka and him to dance. They had to go, especially since the kids had several times attempted to smoke them out of the bedroom – the apartment didn't have that many beds, and everybody wanted to try to hump his girl.

When Sashka Tishchenko asked Eddie if he had humped Svetka, Eddie tersely answered, "Yes," although a real man should tell the truth.