Memoir of a Russian Punk

32

An hour later they are sitting, or rather standing, between two passenger cars belonging to the Moscow-Tbilisi train, Kostya a little higher on the ladder that goes up to the roof, and Eddie a little lower down, almost next to the buffers. Kostya finally breaks down and tells Eddie-baby his story. It turns out that Cat isn't going to Novorossisk merely to buy gum and cigarettes.

"I'll kill him," Cat says. "Not now, but I'll kill him… He's not a true criminal; he's a bastard. Real gangsters don't act like that. The filthy bastard!" Kostya says. "I'll get him, even if it's the last thing I do, I'll get him…"

The gang leader Zhora punched Kostya in the mouth in front of all the other thieves and pickpockets. Eddie has seen Zhora and can easily imagine what an animal he is. The gang leader Zhora just got out of prison a little while ago after serving a long sentence, and now he's at large and greedily taking advantage of his freedom. He's a huge gorilla, and it was a low thing for him to punch Kostya for no reason at all except as a display of drunken bravado, since even though Kostya's broad-shouldered, he's still pretty small.

"I should have done it right then, right by the store, I should have cut him then," Kostya says gloomily from up on the ladder.

"Yes…," Eddie says, at a loss for words. "But didn't he serve time for armed robbery?"

"He did," Kostya reluctantly confirms, "but he's still not a true gangster. A true criminal would never raise his hand against a minor, against a brother thief," Kostya says.

But he's not as confident now as he used to be when he extolled the virtues of serious criminals to Eddie. In Kostya's descriptions of them, they had seemed elegant, generous, and heroic. But now it turns out that they're worse even than the petty thieves that populate Saltovka's criminal world. Eddie isn't at all sure how he would act in Kostya's place. Would he kill Zhora?

They're silent for a while as they huddle in the wind. It's very cold – not really the season for a journey of this kind. In the summertime it's nice on the roof of a train. Now, however, the kids have to keep crawling up and down the ladder, have to keep moving around in order to stay warm.

Their shared misfortune has in a way brought them together, and Eddie decides to tell Kostya about what's bothering him most – about Svetka.

"You know, Cat, last night was the first time I ever fucked Svetka. I never had before that," he says, and then stops.

"I figured as much," Kostya says.

"Tell me, Cat," Eddie asks tentatively, "did you ever hear that Svetka hasn't been cherry for a long time?"

"Yes," Cat says from up above. "All the kids knew about it, but nobody told you, since you were so in love with her. You really doted on her, and for nothing… Women like men who don't dote on them," Kostya says in a sadly philosophical tone. And then he adds, "She's been fucking for a long time. She's even fucked your Red Sanya -"

"Sanya?" Eddie asks, thunderstruck.

Even though he realizes that he has said a bit too much, Cat confirms his words. "Yes, but only once, and that was because he raped her." And then he falls silent.

Eddie is silent too. It seems to him that he's suddenly grown very old and very tired.

"Tu-tu-tu-tu-tu-tu-tu," go the wheels of the train.

"Tu-tu-tu-tu-tu-tu-tu – Eddie'll do, and Cat will too," Eddie rhymes mindlessly. He doesn't have any idea what he'll do or what will be. Just that something will.