Men At Arms

55

Take an old, battered car of the type that the Waynes and Kevins of our world (boyfriends to Sharon and Tracey) often drive — a Ford Cortina or Capri is the usual candidate in the UK. Respray it metallic purple. Some go-faster stripes, possibly a la ‘Starsky and Hutch’ may be appropriate at this time. Plaster rear window with car stickers in dubious taste: “Passion wagon — don’t laugh it could be your daughter inside”, “My other car is a Porsche”, or even: “I ♥ Ankh-Morpork”. Advanced students might like to experiment with a stick-on cuddly Garfield in the rear window. Put in stretch seat-covers, preferably in luminous pink fur. Add a Sun-strip, possibly with the names of the owner and ‘His bird’ on them (so they can remember where to sit presumably). Hang a pair of fluffy dice from the rear-view mirror. That kind of vehicle.