Mercy

Chapter 23

The next morning Cain rose late and showered and took a few moments to look at herself in the mirror. She examined the burns on her left arm, and then the ones on her right. She could recall with absolute precision when each had been done and the means used. The person was always Desiree Atkins. Joe apparently didn’t have the stomach for it. Desiree, on the other hand, apparently had no limits to what she would do.

The woman had often used lighted cigarettes. She seemed to like watching the skin blacken and bubble. Cain could remember looking at the woman even as she was shrieking in pain. The louder she yelled, the more Desiree smiled, the longer the burning went on. It didn’t take Cain long, young though she was, to realize that if she marshaled all her focus and did not scream in pain, then Desiree would soon lose interest and stop, even though Cain’s body would be shaking all over in agony. Desiree apparently liked to hear the terror. And sometimes Desiree would bring out the needles and the knife and carve things into Cain’s skin. But her next favorite torture device had been the belt. When Cain had seen Ken holding his belt to threaten Rosa, all those memories came flooding back. But again, if Cain did not cry out, Desiree would stop enjoying it and leave Cain to quietly sob over her fresh wounds.

There was only one reason that Cain could focus during all that and not cry out. She had one image that she held in the safest, most remote spot in her mind. She hid it away, she told herself as a little girl, because she was afraid Desiree might find it and take it away, and leave Cain with nothing to fight back with.

The image was vague, yet powerful. A little girl was sitting in the dirt, wearing a colorful skirt, her long hair in her face. And she was looking up at something in a tall tree. A woman whom Cain could never really see was calling out to someone in the tall tree.

“You get down here right now, young lady. You have no business up there. You’ll fall and hurt yourself.”

And Cain would hear the little girl wearing the dress reply, “It’s okay, Momma, it’s just Lee being Lee. She’ll find her way down. She always does. Don’t be mad at her, Momma.”

Who Lee was, Cain didn’t know. Why she was up a tree, Cain didn’t know. She suspected the little girl with the long hair and the dress was herself, but she didn’t know that for certain.

She’ll find her way down, Momma, she always does.

For some reason that curious image had fully consumed all of Cain’s attention to such a degree that she could not feel the burns or the blows or the cuts and needle stabs that Desiree was inflicting. It allowed her to survive. Cain had felt a burst of pride for this Lee person. She apparently did what she wanted, took risks, figured things out, and she came out all right in the end.

Just like I needed to do.

But what was Lee? A figment of her imagination? Nothing at all? Or maybe someone important?

Should she be thankful for this Lee, or hate her?

Was Lee really me? I was being tortured every time this image appeared in my head. Was I just reaching for something, anything, to get through it? Because a person would, whether it was real or not.

Cain splashed cold water on her face, dressed, and went out to eat breakfast, choosing the same diner where she’d picked at her dinner.

She sat at the counter and looked around the place. It was mostly elderly people having their coffee, bacon and eggs, toast, and grits. Working-class folks like her, and as unlike her as it was possible to be. Some were clearly old enough to have been here when she had been living with the Atkinses. The sign outside said the diner had been here since 1960, so it was here long before she’d been born.

Could any of these people have helped her? Could they have found out about her? How could people keep someone prisoner in a place like this and no one know about it? Although Cain had read of a man in Ohio who had kept women prisoners in his house smack in the middle of a neighborhood. How the hell had that happened? Did people just not give a shit?

“Hope you enjoy your breakfast better than you did your dinner, hon.”

Cain looked up into the face of the same waitress from last night. “Yeah, I’m pretty hungry, so I think I will.”

She ordered, and when the waitress brought the food back over Cain said, “I was wondering, do you remember anyone named the Atkinses who used to live around here? They’d be around your age.”

“You mean Wanda and Len Atkins?”

“Yeah, that’s right.”

The wrinkled face crinkled into a sad smile. “Well, that takes me way back, hon. I was good friends with Wanda. My husband, God rest his soul, and Len were in the VFW together. They’ve been gone a long time. They left after their son got killed.”

Cain feigned surprise. “Really, he got killed?”

The waitress put her elbows on the counter and leaned down. “Joe Atkins was murdered. And his wife, Desiree, did it. I’m as sure of that as you’re sitting right there. She lit out after it happened and no one’s seen her since. And she was one strange lady. Sadistic, if you ask me. I saw her deliberately run over a dog with her truck. How sick is that?”

“Pretty sick. So she’s gone, too?”

“Oh, yeah, years ago. How do you know the Atkinses? You said you weren’t from here.”

“I think my dad knew Mr. Atkins somehow. When I told them I was going to be passing through here he told me to look them up. I guess Mr. Atkins had told my dad that he lived in Crawfordville, but my dad didn’t know if they were still here or not.”

“Well, like I said, they moved away a long time ago.”

“He’ll be disappointed. I think he wanted to get back in touch.”

The woman pursed her lips in thought. “Oh, wait a minute, where’s my brain? I can help you out.”

“How?”

The waitress pulled out her phone. “Wanda and me exchange Christmas cards. Hell, I got her address in my phone right here. She and Len are over in Alabama now, Huntsville.”

She held out her phone with the contact showing, and Cain took a picture of it with her phone.

“Wow, thank you so much. This will make my dad’s day.”

“Old friends are sometimes the best friends. And in this day and age, we need all the friends we can get.”

Yes we do, thought Cain. I hope to find one someday.