Midaq Alley

21

Dr. Booshy was just about to leave his flat when Mrs. Afify's maid arrived and asked him to come and see her mistress. The "doctor's" face clouded as he asked himself what she could want and whether it might mean an increase in his rent. He soon dismissed the thought. After all, how could Mrs. Afify violate the military regulations that controlled rents for the duration of the war? He left the flat and climbed the stairs, scowling as he went.

Like all her tenants, Dr. Booshy disliked Mrs. Saniya Afify and never missed a chance to criticize her miserliness. Once he had gone around saying that she had intended to build a wooden room on top of the building so she could live there and rent her own flat. Most of all he disliked her because he had not once been able to avoid paying his rent to her. She always sought out Radwan Hussainy if she had any difficulty, and Dr. Booshy intensely disliked having to go and see him. He tapped on the door, saying a silent prayer and asking God's mercy and forgiveness in preparation for the trial ahead.

Mrs. Afify, exuding a strong scent, opened the door and invited him into the reception room. He accepted and sat down, drinking the coffee the servant brought. She quickly explained what she wanted. "I called you in, Doctor, for you to examine my teeth."

A new interest gleamed in Dr. Booshy's eyes and he was overcome by this unexpected good fortune. For the first time in his life he felt friendly toward her as he asked, "I hope you don't have a tooth hurting you?"

"Oh no, thanks be to God," Mrs. Afify explained. "But I have lost some of my back teeth and a few of the others are a little rotten…"

Dr. Booshy's good mood increased as he recalled the alley rumor that Mrs. Afify was soon to become a bride.

"Well now, the best thing for you is to have a new set."

"That's what I thought, but would it take very long?"

Dr. Booshy got up and went over to her, saying, "Open your mouth…"

She opened her mouth wide and he peered into it carefully. The few teeth he saw surprised and annoyed him. However, he knew he must tread carefully. "Well now, we'll need several days to take out these teeth, and then we'll have to wait six months before putting in the plate. That way the gums dry out and meanwhile you can rest your mouth."

Mrs. Afify raised her painted eyebrows in alarm; she was hoping to be married in two or three months. Anxiously she replied, "No, no. I want a quick job. It must be done in a month."

"A month?" said Dr. Booshy. "Impossible!"

"All right, goodbye then," snapped Mrs. Afify.

He deliberately let a moment or two pass and then spoke: "There is a way, if you like."

She realized he was bargaining and it made her angry. However, she decided to overlook this, as she needed him.

"What way is that?"

"I could make you a gold plate. It could be put in immediately after the extractions."

Panic gripped her as she contemplated the cost of a gold plate. She almost rejected the doctor's suggestion, but she couldn't put off the impending wedding. How could she possibly go to her bridegroom with her mouth in its present decayed state? How would she ever have the courage to smile at him? Moreover, everyone in the alley knew that Dr. Booshy's fees were reasonable and that he somehow got plates that he sold at ridiculously low prices. No one ever asked where he got them; people cared only that they were cheap.

"How much would a set cost?"

Dr. Booshy was not the slightest taken in by her apparent indifference. He replied, "Ten pounds."

She had no idea of the actual cost of gold plates, but she put on a shocked expression of incredulity. "Ten pounds!"

Dr. Booshy flew into a rage. "Do you realize it would cost fifty pounds if you went to those dentists who treat their skills as a trade. People like me are just unlucky fellows, that's all."

They set about bargaining, he doing his best to keep it up and she to bring it down. Eventually they agreed on a price of eight pounds, and Dr. Booshy left the flat cursing the old woman for trying to pretend she was young.

These days Mrs. Saniya Afify was seeing the world in a new light, just as the world was seeing a new Mrs. Afify. Her happy hopes were near fulfillment and her loneliness was now merely a temporary guest that would soon depart. Nevertheless, her happiness depended upon expense and a very heavy one at that. She realized just how heavy when she browsed in the furniture shops in Azhar Street and in the clothing shops along Mousky. On and on she went, spending the money she had hoarded for so long. Moreover, she kept no account of what she spent. All this time Umm Hamida scarcely left her side and she relied greatly on the matchmaker's considerable adroitness. She was indeed a priceless treasure and was certainly proving very expensive. Umm Hamida herself, mindful that her job would soon be finished, took great care not to let Mrs. Afify out of her grip.

The widow's furniture and clothing were not the only expenses; her house needed renovation and even the bride herself required a great deal of care, preparation, and repair. One day Mrs. Afify said to Umm Hamida, laughing hysterically in her state of apprehension, "Oh, Umm Hamida, can't you see how my worries are turning my hair gray?"

Umm Hamida, aware that whatever had whitened her hair it was certainly not worry, replied, "Oh, those worries will easily disappear with dye. You know, there's hardly a single woman who doesn't dye her hair these days."

The widow now laughed and sighed. "Heaven bless you, you wonderful woman. Whatever would I have done with my life if it weren't for you." Then she waited a little, stroked her breast and went on: "My goodness, will that young bridegroom you've found me be pleased with this dry body of mine? I have neither breasts nor a behind to attract men with."

"Don't belittle yourself; don't you know that being slender is fashionable and a very nice fashion too! Anyway, if you like, I'll give you some marvelous dishes to fatten you up in no time…" She shook her pockmarked head proudly and continued: "Have no fears as long as Umm Hamida is with you. Umm Hamida is the magic key to unlock all secret doors for you. Tomorrow you'll see how good I am in the baths; we'll go there together."

So the days of preparation passed, full of endless activities, pleasures, and hopes, dyeing of hair and collecting perfumes, extracting teeth and making a gold plate; and all of this was costing money. The widow, struggling to overcome her stinginess, tossed her savings in the path of that long-awaited day. She even gave money to the mosque of Hussain and dispersed it liberally to the poor surrounding it. In addition, she donated forty candles to St. Shaarany.

Umm Hamida was overcome with amazement at the widow's sudden generosity. She clasped her hands together and said to herself, "Are men worth all this trouble? Long may your wisdom reign, O Lord, for it is You who have decreed that women worship men…"