Midaq Alley

32

"Abbas!"

The young man was panting furiously because he had run behind the carriage all the way from Opera Square. He had dashed blindly, bumping into people, careless of the shoves, curses, and pushes directed at him. He had been walking with Hussain Kirsha, wandering aimlessly after leaving Vita's bar until they reached Opera Square. It was here Hussain saw the carriage with the beautiful woman inside.

He did not recognize Hamida. He had instinctively raised his eyebrows in approval of the passenger. In fact, he drew his friend's attention to her. Abbas looked up at the approaching carriage and fixed his gaze on the young woman in it. She seemed lost in thought. She looked somehow familiar. So faintly familiar that his heart, more than his eyes, was the detector. In spite of his slightly drunken state he shouted, "Stop!"

The carriage now turned and headed for Ezbekiya Gardens. Abbas dashed off in mad pursuit, leaving his friend shouting after him. Heavy traffic at the head of Fuad I Street delayed him, but he kept his eyes fixed on the carriage. He set off again running as fast as he could, his strength failing. Finally he caught up with her just as she was about to enter the tavern, and called out her name with a piercing shriek. She turned toward him and weakly gasped out his name. Instantly his doubts vanished. He stood before her gasping for breath, not trusting the image before his eyes. She too was obviously overcome with what she saw. Suddenly she seemed conscious of the many people watching them. She controlled herself and, signaling him, she walked quickly off toward a small street next to the tavern. Abbas followed her into the first door on the right, a flower shop. The proprietress greeted her, recognizing Hamida as a frequent customer. She returned the greeting and accompanied Abbas to the back of the shop. The shopkeeper sensed she wanted to be alone with her companion and seated herself discreetly behind a flower display, as though she were alone in the shop.

They now stood face to face. Abbas trembled with excitement and total bewilderment. What had drawn him to his mortal enemy? What could he hope for from his meeting? Why had he not let her pass unnoticed? Suddenly he had no opinion, no plans. While he was running, memories of Hamida's desertion barely kept his mind on the road. He simply ran out of blind instinct until he finally gasped out her name. From then on he was like a sleepwalker, following her into the shop.

He could feel himself slowly returning to consciousness as he examined this strange woman before him. In vain he tried to find a trace of the girl he had once loved. Abbas was not so simple that he failed to grasp the truth of what he saw before him. Then, too, the rumors in Midaq Alley had forced him to expect the worst. However, nothing was as shattering as what he now saw. He was overcome with a sense of the futility of life. However, strangely enough, he felt no inclination to harm her — or even to humiliate her.

Hamida looked at him with a childlike confusion. His presence aroused no feelings of affection or regret. She felt only contempt and animosity and silently cursed the bad luck that had thrown him in her path.

The silence was beginning to strain their nerves, and now Abbas, unable to bear it, spoke softly: "Hamida! Is it really you? Oh God, how can I believe my eyes? How could you have left your home and your mother and ended up like this?"

Embarrassed, but not ashamed, Hamida answered, "Don't ask me about anything. I've nothing to say to you. It's all the will of God. It can't be changed."

Her embarrassment and control had the opposite effect from what she expected. Now both his anger and his hatred were aroused. His voice rose in a bellow that filled the shop: "You filthy liar… Some degenerate like yourself seduced you and you ran off with him! The alley is full of filthy rumors about you, you know. And I can see them all reflected in your hard face and your cheap getup…"

His sudden anger ignited her quick temper, and now all embarrassment and fear dissolved within her. All this added to the day's agonies and now her face turned pale.

"Shut up!" she shouted. "Don't talk like a maniac! Do you think you scare me? What do you want from me, you nothing? You have no claim on me. Get out of my sight."

Before she finished his anger had subsided. He stared at her in confusion and in a trembling voice he muttered, "How can you say such things? Aren't you… weren't you once my fiancee?"

She smiled and shrugged impatiently. "Why bring up the past? It's over and done with."

"Yes, it's over and done with, but I want to know what went wrong between us. Didn't you accept my proposal? Didn't I go away for the sake of our future happiness together?"

She now felt no embarrassment or uneasiness with him and only asked herself impatiently, "When will he drop the subject? When will he understand? When will he go away?" She replied in a bored tone, "I wanted one thing, and the fates wanted another…"

"What have you done to yourself? Why have you chosen this filthy life? What has blinded you? What pig abducted you from a pure life and dumped you in the sewers of prostitution?"

"This is my life," she said with firm impatience. "It's over between us and that's all there is to it. We're complete strangers now. I can't go back and you can't change me. Be careful what you say to me, because I'm in no condition to forgive you. I may be weak, but I'm simply fleeing from my horrible destiny. Forget me, hate me if you want to, but leave me in peace."

This was indeed a total stranger. Where was the Hamida he had loved and who had loved him? Had she ever loved him? What about their kiss on the staircase? When they said farewell, had she not promised to pray to the Lord Hussain to look after him and answer their prayers? Who was this girl? Did she feel no regret? No trace of the old affection? A sigh of impotent despair weighted his words as he spoke: "The more I listen to you, the less I understand you. I came back yesterday from Tell el-Kebir. I couldn't believe what they told me about you. Do you know what brought me back?" He showed her the box containing the necklace. "I bought this for you. I planned to marry you before I went back…"

As she gazed silently at the box, Abbas noticed her diamond brooch and pearl earrings. He withdrew his hand and put the box in his pocket. He asked her pointedly, "Do you have any regrets about your new life?"

In a tone of mock sadness, she answered, "You don't know how unhappy I am."

His eyes opened wide in suspicious surprise as he spoke: "How terrible, Hamida! Why did you ever listen to the devil? Why did you hate your life in the alley? How could you throw away a good life for — " here his voice thickened — "a shameless criminal? It's a dirty crime and there's no forgiveness for it."

"I'm paying for it with my flesh and blood." Her voice was low and melodramatic.

Abbas was now more bewildered, but he felt strangely pleased with the confession he had extracted. Hamida's hostility had not, however, subsided purely by chance. Her mind raced with devilish inspiration. It occurred to her that she could conscript Abbas against the man who was using her so heartlessly. He would become the instrument of her revenge while she remained apart from any unpleasant consequences. Now she spoke in her frailest voice: "I'm a poor, miserable creature, Abbas. Don't be angry at what I said. My mental agony has almost made me lose my mind. You see me only as a low prostitute. But it's what you said, I was betrayed by a devil. I don't know why I gave in to him. I'm not trying to excuse myself, nor am I asking you to forgive me. I know I've sinned and now I'm paying for it. Forgive my temper and hate me as much as your pure heart will let you. I'm just putty in the hands of this horrible man. He sends me into the streets after having robbed me of the most precious thing I had. I loathe and despise him. He's responsible for all my misery and suffering. But it's too late now. How can I ever get away from him?"

The wounded look in her eyes made him forget the hysterical woman who had been capable of murdering him only a few minutes before. Her appeal had worked as she hoped it would.

"How awful, Hamida! Both of us are miserable because of that low bestial criminal. I'm sorry, but what you did will always stand between us. We suffer, but his life goes on. I won't be happy until I smash his head in…"

This pleased Hamida, and she turned her head lest Abbas notice her delight. He had fallen into her trap even faster than she had hoped. She was especially pleased that he had said, "What you did will always stand between us." She felt relief that he did not want to forgive her. Above all, she did not want that; nor did she want to be taken back.

"I can never forget that you abondoned me and that people saw you with him… It's over between us. The Hamida I loved no longer exists. But that monster must suffer. Where can I find him?"

"You can't find him today. Come next Sunday afternoon. He'll be in the bar at the top of this lane, the only Egyptian in the place. I'll look toward him when you signal me. What do you plan to do to him?" She spoke as though she feared the consequences for Abbas.

"I'll smash the filthy pimp's head."

Looking at him, she wondered if Abbas could possibly be capable of murder! She knew the answer, but she hoped the encounter might at least bring Ibrahim Faraj before the law; thus she would have her revenge and freedom as well. This fantasy delighted Hamida. She sincerely hoped no harm would come to Abbas and she cautioned him gently, "Be careful, won't you? Hit him and then drag him to the police station. Let the law handle him from there."

Abbas, however, was not listening. He mumbled, downcast and half to himself, "We shouldn't suffer without him paying too. We're both finished. Why should that pimp get off free and laugh at us? I'll break his neck; I'll strangle him!"

Looking up at Hamida, he asked, "And you, Hamida, what if I get this gangster out of your life?"

This was the question she dreaded. It could mean only that Abbas' affection for her might revive. With quiet determination, she answered, "My ties with the old world are broken now. I'll sell my jewelry and take a respectable job, somewhere far away…"

Abbas stood thinking. His silence filled her with uneasiness, but eventually he bowed his head and said almost inaudibly, "I can't find it in my heart to forgive you… I simply cannot… but please don't disappear until we see how all this ends."

The note of forgiveness in his voice unnerved her. She would have preferred that both Abbas and Ibrahim Faraj perish.

Anyhow, it would be easy to disappear if she wanted to, but not until she had been avenged. It would be so easy to go to Alexandria; Ibrahim had often talked about the city. She could be… free there, away from the parasites.

Her tone was now sweet and gentle. "As you like, Abbas…" His heart was geared for revenge, but it also throbbed with deep affection for Hamida.