Most Wanted

Chapter Fifty-seven

Christine rode in the passenger seat while Marcus drove in silence, wending his way through the country roads that led back to West Chester. She knew him well enough to know that he was mulling over everything that had happened and formulating his thoughts. He would know what he wanted to say by the time they got to the hotel, where they would probably have it out. She hoped that they still had a marriage, by midnight.

“You hungry?” Marcus asked, as they steered around a curve.

“Yes, but I don’t really want to eat anything right now. I’m mostly tired.”

“I bet.” Marcus fell silent, and Christine rested her head on the headrest, turning her face to the window, though she couldn’t see much. There were no streetlights along the two-lane road, and dark clouds passed in front of the moon. She watched shadowy pastures whizz by and horses grazing in groups, their shadows indistinct. She realized she had seen enough horses for a lifetime. She wanted to see boats, again. And the beach.

“Are you in pain?”

“No,” Christine answered, though the question was ambiguous. Even she didn’t know the answer, anyway. She wasn’t sure what she knew, anymore. She would know better after they had their fight at the hotel.

“Did they give you Advil or anything like that?”

“No, it’s fine.”

“Who held your hair when you threw up this morning?” Marcus’s tone softened, and Christine smiled.

“I had to do it all by myself.”

“That sucks. By the way, Lauren says hi. She was worried about you. I called your mom, too. I didn’t want her to find out from TV. Luckily they had the game on.”

“Thanks.” Christine felt a guilty twinge.

“She’s okay, but she wants us to call her tonight. We can call from the hotel.”

“Thanks for calling her.”

“No problem.” Suddenly Marcus slowed the car, pulled over, and braked by the side of the road, their tires popping on the gravel.

“What are you doing?” Christine turned, puzzled.

“I want to talk to you, and I don’t want to wait.”

“Okay.” Christine felt her chest tighten. She looked Marcus in the eye, and she could see that he was upset, the troubled curves of his handsome face illuminated by the bluish-green lights on the dashboard.

“I was wrong, and I’m so sorry about everything that happened, the way it all went down.” Marcus hesitated, clenching his jaw. “I never should’ve let you come down here yourself. I’ve been a total jerk about everything, from the very beginning, even from my diagnosis. You were right that night in the backyard, I made it all about me. It was all about me.”

Christine swallowed hard, in surprise.

“But when you left, after I saw what you were willing to do, how far you were willing to go for that baby, our baby”-Marcus’s eyes began to glisten, but he blinked them clear-“it made me think. It made me understand. I married you for a reason, because I love you and because I want to go through this life with you. I didn’t want you to be alone ever, especially not during the tough times. We’re in this together, no matter what, but it took your going away for me to realize that.”

Christine couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Marcus had never spoken this way before, or with so much emotion. She felt herself soften, letting her guard down.

“And that’s when I realized that that’s what being a parent really is. Being a parent, being a father, is putting somebody else first, but I never was a father before, and truly, I never put anybody first before, not even you.” Marcus’s eyes brimmed with tears. “But that’s going to change, it already has, and that’s why I left this morning, even before Gary called. I was coming down here to bring my wife and my baby home, where they belong.”

Christine felt all of her love for him come rushing back, warming her from the inside and out, flowing through her veins like lifeblood, but she didn’t interrupt him because she could see he wasn’t finished.

“I want to be a better father than my father was, not let my pride and ego get in the way of everything in my life, ruin it all, and hurt the people I love most, like you. Honey, it took me awhile, and I’m slow on the uptake, but I finally figured out exactly who the father of that baby is. It’s me. I’m the father.”

“Oh, babe,” Christine said, reaching for him, and Marcus reached for her at the same moment, and they clung to each other, husband and wife, bruised and battered, alone in the darkness, in the middle of the countryside. But for the first time, their embrace made a shelter for their baby.

And it was time to go home.