Muriel

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Daisy's Day-Book

I am not going to write anything in my day-book because I wouldn't tell anyone IN THE WHOLE WORLD what happened. I felt ever so funny afterwards, but quite nice. I thought he was going to put… Oh, but I said I wouldn't say anything, so I won't. Mama seems to like going to see Aunty Muriel, but won't take me with her, so we go on different days, which I think is silly. I suppose they want to talk 'grown-up' talk-as if I am not grownup myself now, but the trouble is that I can't tell Mama that. It IS a nuisance.

Papa seems in a very funny way, not knowing whether to look at me or not. He tried to talk to me upstairs, but I went into my room. I felt shy at first, but now I don't so much. Sometimes I think he just wanted to make me feel silly, and sometimes I don't. Aunty Jane says that if you are going to do a thing, then you should do it properly. She wasn't talking about me, of course, because I know she doesn't know. I hope they don't tickle me and try to make me talk. They do that sometimes, always asking me things, and it's not fair. I still think he could have put it… Well… he could… Perhaps he didn't want to; I don't know. It's silly being stern with me, then doing that. I feel quite huffed about it, after all. I think he knows that, for I gave him quite a look, which was very daring of me, but I meant to do.

Maude's Day-Book

I had a lovely time playing with Richard, but I could not have done it if Mama had not tied him up. Or could I? I wonder. He is like all young men and does not know how to behave himself. I like older men because they are more interesting to talk to.

I have to go and see some gentlemen friends of Step-Papa's tomorrow, but I don't know why. Mama says that she does not know, except it is some business that a young lady has to know. Step-Papa told me to wear a waist corset and to lace it tight. What a funny thing to say! He has seen me in it once, though Mama does not know. I had my drawers on at the time, but nothing else. I let him feel my titties and we kissed. I do think he is nice; I do not mind. He felt my bottom, too, and put his finger in the 'groove', though only through my knickers. Was it nice, he asked. I wanted to say yes (it tickles funnily and makes me squirm), but I just said that I did not mind. -'What a lovely bulb you have', he said and caressed it all about and underneath. I felt quite swoony and wish that he would do it more, but Mama is jealous of him, I am sure. She wishes to pretend I don't know what she does! I have heard her kissing Deirdre Mansfield several times-and after that episode in the bathroom weeks ago, I don't know what to think. Or rather, yes I do, and that's the wicked part.

I hope these friends of Step-Papa's are nice to me. He says they will be 'in a special way', but does not tell me what it is.

Muriel's Day-Book

Daisy has a fey look about her, and I am sure something has happened. I have teased her, and so has Jane, but can get no word from her. Should we put her up to Phillip? No, I think not-there are dangers there. It is exciting, though, to see him work a female. There is a little measure of cruelty in me, so Jane says, but I do not think it to be so. Celia, after all, enjoyed herself, and women frequently wish their struggle to be overcome. I know I did when less than half her age.

A letter arrived, addressed to me, from Deirdre. She is enjoying her newfound freedom and asks after Sylvia, of course, but not Phillip. Last night I made him do 'Mouth Number One'. Having filled myself with wine, and while Jane kept Sylvia occupied, I led him to the bathroom nearest to his room and made him strip and lie down in the bath upon his back.

He begins by being silent always, but then whines. He asked me what I meant to do.

'Mouth Number One', I said. He has the list and should have learned it all by now.

'Oh no!', he gasped and tried to rise, but I put one leg over the side of the bath and pinned him down.

'Down, cur! Have you not learned obedience yet?', I asked. And yet withal I felt a certain tenderness for him and bent and frigged his prick up to a fine good stand that mollified him, for he groaned a groan or two-no more. I spoke to him of Celia's bottom while I did. He grimaced, yet I sensed the pleasure he had had from it. He was a 'good boy' then and must be now, I said. My belly swilled with wine. I had to grit my teeth to hold myself, stripped as I was to just a petticoat. He likes to look up in-between my legs more now. My straddled legs allowed him a perfect view. He gazed up at me blindly and licked his lips. The bath was cold beneath his back, he said, but I ignored that silly plea.

I worked my fingers up and down his prick and couched his balls in my free hand. I swear they are now heavier from being exercised more than in the past, and told him so. I said-just to help bring him on-that he would have to give it soon to Sylvia.

'Do not speak so!', he begged.

'She will make you come a lot, you know', I teased. His eyes held dreams, his buttocks squirmed.

'You would not, Muriel-could not!'

“Then be a good boy and give me all, and I will give you something in return. Her cunny will be warm and tight, will suck you deeply in and…'

'Aaaargh!', he gurgled. Few men can resist erotic words when they are being frigged. Phillip is no exception now, though he once thought himself to be. His cock throbbed mightily-out shot the creamy jets. Descending on my hand, they splashed my wrist.-'Moo-moo-moo-Muriel!', he moaned and frothed the more, and then was limply done. I let it bubble on a bit, then wiped my fingers on a towel.

He who gives must receive, I said, and got into the bath, raised up my petticoat and lowered my waiting quim over his mouth. He kept his lips together at the first, but then I took his weakening cock and again twisted it.

'Phillip, don't be naughty', so I scolded him. I have the measure of him now. He adores to be spoken to like that, though might deny it in the light of day. I twisted more and caused his mouth to open wide, his lips on either side of my lovelips.-This is called water games', I said, though never had I done such a thing before.

I held back for a moment, then I gushed. O golden rain descending forcefully into his mouth! He spluttered, gargled, choked. I held him still by force of my bottom's weight. His heels drummed on the bottom of the bath. I had not finished yet.

'Is it not good wine?', I laughed, and afforded him another flow-though lifting slightly, let it gush around his face, the golden spray and droplets sparkling on his skin, and more choked, anguished sounds from him.

I rose and clambered out and left him spluttering and very wet. My wicked deed was done. A strange and perverse thrill it gave me, too. I threw a towel upon his limp, soaked form, told him to bathe and go to bed. It is better always to end curtly on such things. This I have learned with Phillip, at the least, and do not doubt that other men are so who come beneath a woman's heel.

'I must anoint him, too', says Jane who so often follows what I do.

'I think he will expect it now', I said. I believe that to be true. I believe that Phillip could not express himself successfully before with women, and that without his knowing it he wished to be conquered by them rather than conquer. He is happier in his dismay than he would be had he continued to live in what he thought of as his normal way. Last night I told Sylvia that we were going to play a silly game, and that upon entering her father's study to say goodnight to him, she was to tell him to rise upon her entrance.

As I expected, she was most doubtful of doing this, but was prodded in the right direction by Jane also- indeed we had to physically prod her up the stairs to do it! At his door she hesitated and I waved my hand at her insistently. She knocked and entered and I heard her voice say tightly, 'Papa, please stand up'. A minute later she was out, and with a huge smile on her face like a pauper who has found a ten-pound note.

'He did it!', she whispered in her wonderment.

'Of course. You must continue so to act', I said. I thereupon entered the study in turn and gave some mild praise to Phillip for performing correctly in the presence of a female.

'I was already standing up', he protested, which I knew was not true.

'Just continue to be obedient, Phillip, that is all'.

His knob protruded through his trousercloth. The excitement of submission brings him up as quickly as does anything. I have told Sylvia to rub herself against it next time-briefly, and no more than that. How shocked she looked, and all the questions in her eyes! Dear Jane, though, backed me up in that. How fortunate I am to have her with me all the time!

Sylvia's Day-Book

I do not know what to think sometimes. Things that I always thought were rude are not so, and neither are things that are naughty. These are just 'disguise words', both my aunties said to me. I really listen to them, though, I really do. They have to tell me things the men cannot, they said, and besides I am growing up and must get used to it. They make me say things like 'cock' and 'prick' when they are talking with me now. I think Daisy knows those words as well. I am going to ask her when she comes! I'm sure she'll say she does already know. She tries to be a clever puss sometimes, but I don't mind because I like her all the same.

I know how men put their stiff things in girls now. It can go up in my bottom, too, said Aunty Jane, told me that was why they put their fingers there when we're in bed together. Ooooh! I can't imagine anything so big in such a naughty place, but they said I'm going to have to do it soon. I don't know what to think of that.

I think I will tell Daisy-if I dare. Aunt Muriel thinks that she already knows. I asked her how she knew that but she wouldn't say.

Deirdre's Day-Book

Three days have passed now since Richard's last visit. He is to go tomorrow again-for the last time, I hope. As to Amy, I knew not what to say to her after Maurice had departed. Finally I could not help myself and asked her if she felt happy. What a foolish thing to ask! She blushed and said she did and turned away. I know all the emotions in her heart as well as I know the springlike stirrings in her slender form.

I approached her and she kept her back to me. Maurice was a nice man I ventured. She but nodded and kept her shoulders tight. Suddenly she spun around and cuddled into me.

'Oh, Mama!', she said in wonderment.

'It is nice', I said. Another foolish thing to say, yet she understood as much from it as I wished her to. I wanted her reply in any case, to feel more settled in myself. It was, she said in a small voice, and to my great relief as well. It was always so, I said, and stroked her hair. I wanted her to feel appeased. Then Richard entered and he stared at us in our embrace and asked what was to do. Amy then burst at him to go away and told him he was stupid-but I understood the flaring of her feelings then. Richard looked sulky and went back upstairs where nowadays he spends much time a-brooding in his room. It is not good for him.

'I am sorry I said that to him', said Amy after he had gone. I told her that I understood. And then, in one of those bursts of false confidence that one sometimes has, I told her that if she enjoyed herself I did not mind. Her 'Yes, Mama' was one of as much relief to her as to me. I told her I would talk to Richard, and she then was pleased- so much so that she knew not how to put her face and whether to look serious or gay. My words have helped her, and that comforts me. She is more fit to deal with men; I realize that now, and Eveline was right.

I resolved to settle things with Richard, too. He sat all doleful on his bed. I told him Amy had apologised. He wanted then to say something, but could not find the words. His eyes settled on my middle part as if he no longer dared to look up or down. It is much better for him so to be. An awkward silence then obtained that I resented in myself and knew my weakness all again that Eveline does not always recognise.

'You had best come to my room when Amy is asleep tonight', I said. I walked out straight away and left my words to float about him as I knew they would. What a long day it was! I knew not how to be, but finally decided on the actions I must take. Retiring to my room at last, I remained clothed when Richard quietly slipped in and stood before me wonderingly, though with some hint of hope within his eyes.

I asked him if he would be good. He said he would. -Then you will kneel and tell me so', I said, and felt a pleasure that I forced the words. He knelt at once! Oh joy that Eveline has trained him so. I walked around him slowly, let my skirt brush at his back (I am a better listener often than dear Eveline imagines that I am) and told him to get up, but not turn around.

He did so willingly to my surprise. His hands were clenched, the knuckles almost white. What was his state of mind, I wonder, then? Eveline says one never asks. It shows a weakness in such circumstance, she says.

The hardest part of my task was then to begin. To Richard's total amazement, I am sure, I told him to unbutton himself below, but otherwise not to move and not to turn. He did so, and his pego came out stiff. I saw it as I glanced around his side, for I was standing still behind him like some ever-watchful crone. The crest glowed wondrously but looked a little red-from too much rubbing, I believe.

'Now you will leave and go to bed', I said-but oh, with what a tremor in my voice! I tried much to disguise it, though.

I heard his teeth grind. 'Oh, Mama!', he pleaded. That I think of as the breaking point. Had I weakened then… but I did not, and felt a greater sense of freedom than I ever knew before. How strange!

I did not answer him. Cock showing still, he slouched out of my room and-in some burst of fitfulness-then went along the corridor and slammed his door.

'Oh, the noise!', called Amy from her room.

'He is a bad boy, Amy-I will see to him', I shouted back. It helped me to say that as well. She knew that I would then be in his room, as indeed I was in but a moment. Richard trembled at my entrance-had one hand upon his prick. He snatched it away and said in tones of anguish, 'Oh, Mama-I did not mean…'

I did not recognise myself as I thrust him down upon his bed, his buttocks uppermost, and pulled his trousers down. SMACK! went my hand and SMACK! again, and Amy joyfully calling out, 'Go on, Mama!'

'Shush! Go to sleep!', I told her back and smacked and smacked again while Richard yelped and rubbed his cock against the quilt. This taking my imagination, I took hold of it with my free hand and let it urge back-forth within my palm the while I spanked his reddened bottom more.

“Woh-woh!', he yelped quite shamelessly. I heard Amy's door open at the same time. I told her to go back, but curiosity overcame her and she peeped within. Richard did not see her for his nose was buried in the quilt, his buttocks flaring from my heavy smacks. His cries were part of pain and part of pleasure all the time. Amy saw what I did and stared. I shook my head at her to go away and venged myself on Richard's bottom all the more.

'I can't, I can't!', he choked out. Oh, too late I made to take my hand away. He jetted, frothed, and spilled upon the bed, and Amy with her hand up to her mouth and standing in the doorway at the time. Still Richard did not see her, though. More wildly did I motion her to leave. The floorboards did not creak, at least. She stepped back then, and I with a very sticky hand was quick to follow, closing Richard's door and leaving him to sob. Downstairs into the dark I ran, and Amy following on her bare feet. I lit the gas lamps, could not speak, and poured myself some wine, wiping my wicked hand upon my gown. I did not think of it as wicked, though, but that it had done a useful task.

Amy went to the sideboard and poured herself some wine, then came and sat beside me on the couch. How different silences can be! This had no awkwardness in it and slowly I relaxed. The palm that I had spanked him with was stinging still, and Amy sucked her lower lip in, looked at it, and said, 'It's red!'-and then we started giggling, both of us and could not stop and had to wipe our eyes. I told her to be quiet, but that was all. Nothing was otherwise said. We were conspirators. I had not sinned in her eyes, but done right.

We ceased our giggles, finished off our wine, then went upstairs again, though on tiptoe. An awesome silence came from Richard's room. I kissed her at her door and said goodnight.-'Goodnight, Mama', she said in turn, and looked at me with reverence!

I feel delighted at the outcome of it all and cannot wait to tell Eveline what transpired. There will be no more nonsense now from Richard, that I know. This morning he was courtesy itself, and Amy did not laugh at him. She pretended that she did not know of it. I am very proud of her for that, and was quite cheery with Richard, to his great relief. The bubble has broken, and the very air seems freer now.